Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, unfortunately pouts
The Yaoi Potion
Chapter One: The Great Scheme
It was a normal day in the sound village and I was taking a stroll through the
corridors.
BOOM!
Suddenly, I heard an explosion and saw smoke coming from my room! I ran in the
room waving smoke out of the way. As the smoke cleared I noticed a familiar figure
hunched over my desk.
"Orochimaru-sama! Are you alright?"
"I'm okay," he replied "Actually, I'm better than okay!"
"Why," I asked, half fretting the answer.
"I have just made a potion that will cure all my problems."
"You mean you've actually made a potion to make you look like a man, instead of
a drag-queen!"
"No, that's next week. Today I have created the perfect yaoi potion."
"What?" I asked shocked and flabbergasted.
"A yaoi potion. It is so that I may use it on all the guys in the world so that they
will be so enamored with each other that it wouldn't matter that I want Sasuke-kun's
body."
"How do you know it works?" I asked along with murmuring something about
killing Sasuke.
" Well, I'm pretty confident with myself but, just in case I need you to sneak into
Konoha with this potion and try it out on one of the unsuspecting shinobi and come back
to tell me the results."
"Now?" I asked whining.
"Yes, NOW!" he replied sternly.
"Okay, Orochimaru-sama," I said with a sigh and rolled my eyes before
obediently poofing off.
I really didn't want to go now. It wasn't that the idea of spiking some poor
genin's drink with a potentially fatal potion didn't sound fun, it was just that this was all
for Sasuke. I don't know why he is so special to Orochimaru-sama. I mean who was it
that helped treat his arms, who was it that helped save him from Tsunade, who was it that
has been with him so long that they don't even have a past story? Not Sasuke, I can tell
you that much. Yet all I ever hear out of him is Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun!
As I jumped by from tree limb to tree limb my thoughts strayed to different ways
of destroying Sasuke; most having to do with either giving him an exploding present or
throwing him into a pit of rabid fangirls. Though, all my plans ended the same;
Orochimaru-sama seeing how far superior I am to Sasuke and declaring his undying love
for me and I would of course except his love. Then we would run off into the sunset and
elope! With this pleasant thought in mind I let a slight smile slip past my lips.
Sooner than I knew it I had to clear my mind and put on a straight face. I was now
approaching the gates of the hidden leaf village and I had to be stealthy. Jumping from
tree to tree I made sure to keep quiet. Soon, I was feet away from a couple of guards on
duty.
"Good, I've gone unnoticed so far," I whispered to myself under my breath,
"Also, these two will be easy to get by."
Quietly I watched them until the time was right. Then, I jumped behind one guard
and in one easy motion with my glowing hand I cut both his arteries in his neck and he
collapsed with a thud; dead. The second came at me kunai in hand but, I easily disarmed
him and, just like his comrade I cut his arteries and he dropped.
"Now, what to do with the bodies?" I asked myself staring down at the two sacks
of flesh near my feet. After a couple minutes deliberation I tossed the two over my
shoulder and the gate. I waited for the thud of their impact.
"Now," I said to myself, "I don't think they switch off guards for another couple
of hours so I should be safe until then. Though, I still need to be stealthy and quick." Off
I went again with a jump in to the village to seek out my first victim.
(Author's Note)
Orochimaru: I'm NOT a "drag-queen"!
Kabuto: Yeah! And I'm straight I tell you! Straight, STRAIGHT!
4el: Anywho, for those of you reading this that are completely oblivious and have
cookies for brains this whole story is written in Kabuto's pov. Also, this story is partially
under humor so all Kabuto fans don't get angry. He's one of my favorite characters, it's
just I'm a good sport and can have a little fun teasing him.
Kabuto: Hey! That's not nice!
Gaara: This is 4el's first fanfic so please leave plenty of reviews.
Kabuto: Wait! Why are you here?
Gaara: Because she likes me better.
4el: It's true. hugs Gaara
Gaara: sticks tongue out at Kabuto
Kabuto: whimpers I feel so left out.