Chapter Five

The next day, Severus had even more trouble focusing, if that was possible. He kept worrying about the night before. Had he disgusted her now? Especially now that she knows you're a pervert. He was obsessing about her, desperately waiting for them to make contact. It was different that day, because they did not have Potions. Of course, there were their other combined classes- Charms and Transfigurations- but they sat far away from each other and hadn't been acknowledging each other, even for the past couple of days.

The day was nerve-rackingly predictable until lunch, when things took a complete turn.

Severus was chewing a stalk of celery and working on his Charms notes when, suddenly, a message in dark purple ink appeared on his paper.

'What did you think of last night?'

Startled, he stared at the paper. Suspicious, he looked over to the Gryffindor table, wondering if it was her. Lily Evans made eye contact with him and then ducked away, smiling. So, it is.

He stared at the paper stupidly.

'Just write back. It will automatically send. I jinxed it.' came another message.

Whoa, he thought, wishing he'd created this one, though he wondered in which situations would he ever be conversing with other people.

'Brilliant magic.' he wrote back in his tiny scrawl.

'Thanks.'

'Though completely unexpected.'

'Sorry, but I thought it might be bad for me to go to your table. Malfoy might have my head.'

'I wouldn't want to go to your table either.'

Severus strained to see if she was writing, when another message appeared upon his parchment.

'Yeah, I suppose… so what about my question?'

'Oh. Do you really want to know?'

'Yes!'

'What did you think, first?'

'No fair. I asked YOU!'

Severus looked up- Lily was glaring at him jokingly. His lips cracked into a smile and he put his quill to parchment.

'Besides making an ass of myself, I suppose it was… wonderful.'

'REALLY? And, you didn't make an ass of yourself.'

'Don't fight me on this one. So, what's YOUR answer, then?'

No reply. Severus looked up to see Lily talking to James. About five minutes later:

'Sorry, he wanted me to pass the butter and sympathize with his low test grades… Anyway, it was. Different.'

'Different is bad.'

'NO. Not at all, Severus. It's good different. But, you know that sound we heard?'

'Yeah?'

'I ran out there and bumped into PROFESSOR SLUGHORN and he questioned me about my INTENTIONS!'

Severus snorted aloud. He's always so obsessed with everyone's lives. He was trying to convince me that dances are good fun the other day. His little club thing makes me sad. He's such a CREEP-

"Mr. Snape!" boomed an all too familiar voice. Professor Slughorn put his arm on Severus' shoulder. Snape hid the parchment in an instant, flushing and glancing at the Gryffindor table where Lily was laughing into her plate.

"All right, Professor?" Snape said, trying to keep a straight face.

"No complaints about my little arrangement this time, son?"

"Naw, Professor."

Slughorn's face took the shape of amazement. "Really?"

"Yes."

"She certainly is sharp, isn't she, that Miss Evans?" the teacher questioned, eyeing the much more positive Snape with curiosity.

"Yes," Snape nodded again.

Looking frustrated that Snape did not wish to give out every detail, Slughorn moved on to Lucius Malfoy, whose older brother, Hagawthe Malfoy, had been in the Slug Club.

Severus sighed in relief and took out the parchment.

'Oh wow. That was SO FUNNY!'

'Speak for yourself!' Severus wrote, and grinned.

'So, no Potions today. What do you say we meet after classes?'

Severus' heart pounded. Maybe she doesn't think I'm too gross, he thought.

'Sounds pretty good, if you promise you won't laugh.'

'Laugh at what? And how about we meet at the lake?'

Severus had rather hoped they would be meeting in the Astronomy Tower, but he agreed.

'And ditch the robes again', she wrote. 'You look so much more real.'

-,-

Messaging one another was one thing. But after classes were through, Severus' stomach filled with uneasiness again. He couldn't help but dread their meeting, thinking perhaps she was going to tell him the truth: he was disgusting and she never wanted to see or speak to him ever again.

How do you talk to someone after snogging? Snape thought helplessly, wishing for a second that he and Lucius were still friendly.

These thoughts stopped short when he spotted Lily. Especially since she was not alone.

Potter was standing with her, and from what Severus could tell, they were arguing.

Severus walked by very slowly as to hear their conversation, heading toward a tree nearby.

"Tell me what you're thinking about!" James was demanding, his hands clenched at his sides.

Lily stood only a few feet apart from him, looking amused. "Don't be daft."

"I'm not. And you're acting off colour. Tell me what you're going to do!"

"I only want to study!" Lily declared; hand on hip, a smooth bit of leg was showing between skirt and sock.

"Why don't you wanna study with Sirius and me? You know we always study at ten!"

"Because your so-called 'studying' isn't studying, now is it? You two are so beat that you can barely hold up a quill! 'What's the answer to… mur mur mur…' " she mumbled, and pretended to drift off to sleep.

James looked furious. Severus was delighted with her.

"Well,-" began Potter-" well! Well, why not Remus? HE doesn't fall asleep."

"Remus and I do study!" Lily told him. "But I wanted to do so alone today."

"Lily!" James said urgently; Snape noticed that he was becoming more and more distressed. "Since when do you want to study?"

Lily's eyes flickered. "Since I felt like it a minute ago, all right? Why don't you just play Quidditch?"

"Don't say it like that!" James fumed. "You just don't understand it!"

"Why, because I'm a girl?" she asked, and her temper was again showing. "Because I'm a Muggle?"

"Calm down!" he stated, reddening. "No! Why would I- how could you- Lily, you know that I don't care about anything like that! I didn't mean it that way, it's just… you used to want to hang out with me!"

"I used to give into being kept by you, is what I did. Go off, play your Quidditch with Sirius. You don't need to do that with me."

"Is this because of what happened?"

Severus listened more closely in interest.

Lily looked down. She hesitated. "No, it's different."

James threw up his hands. "It is because of what happened. Look, Lily, my beliefs are firm. And if you can't handle that, then you and I obviously aren't going to make it."

"James. I don't want to talk about this right now!" she cried out, and Severus wished he knew what had upset her.

"Good. Neither do I. Have fun studying. Laters," he shot at her, and rumpling his hair nervously, he stalked off.

Lily kicked the ground.

"Over here," Snape whispered.

She turned around, still looking distraught. She came forward and sat on the grass, facing the clear blue water. Snape followed her actions.

"Thought you said everything was going well," Snape spoke quietly, picking up fistfuls of grass mindlessly and then letting them go in the breeze.

Lily rested her chin against her legs and hugged herself. "I said it was fun. Not 'going well.'"

"Oh?"

"You sound happy."

Snape looked away. "I'm not happy that you're unhappy just-"

"Happy he's unhappy?"

"Maybe." Severus stared blankly at the grass. "Look, do- do you regret what we did last night?"

"No. Of course not. I'm sorry if it was a bit quick- I hope you don't find me to be some kind of tart or something," she said, and giggled forcedly.

He shook his head solemnly. "Of course not. I was only surprised. We have known each other for seven years, so it isn't that weird, I guess."

"Except we're Lily Evans and Severus Snape."

"Yeah. There is that minor difficulty." Snape was quiet for a moment, and then faced her. "I don't mean to be eavesdropping, but… what happened between you and Potter? When he said-"

-"I know." Lily broke his gaze, letting her hair fall over her face. "It's not important at all. It's stupid."

"Okay," Severus said, taking the hint that this was private business, but he ached for it. Instead, he tried to compliment her. "Last night. I thought it was really good."

"I kind of guessed that," she smiled, and at his expression, she exclaimed," I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!"

He paled and stared out at the water. "I'm sorry if it was- sick. I didn't mean it-"

-"Don't apologise for something you have no control over," she told him. "It must be hard, having your body do things when you're thinking about- you know."

"You could have picked a better word than hard," Snape said wryly.

They looked at each other and laughed.

When they had stopped, Severus replied," Anyway, it is… difficult. I mean, I wish I could know what you're thinking."

"Ha ha," Lily said pleasantly, and then leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. "That's part of what I was thinking," she smiled and without warning, she got up and hurried off.