When Jake goes back to work on Tuesday, I make plans to drive up to Seal Beach once Friday hits to talk to Edward. He texted me to let me know that his ship is pulling out this afternoon, and I had wanted to see him beforehand, but we won't have that opportunity.
By Wednesday evening, I'm a little bit of a wreck but trying not to be mad. It's possible that there's nothing for Edward to tell me. There's potentially a lot of variables going on, and I'm trying to keep an open mind, but it's hard.
Jake comes to me on Thursday evening after we've eaten dinner and while I'm packing a bag for the weekend. "So, you're going up there?" He lingers in the doorway of my bedroom, and I take a deep breath before answering him.
I had explained to my friend that Edward hadn't told me about any upcoming deployments and that he hadn't told me about the results from the exam, and I was nervous and a little angry. Jake definitely thinks it's a good idea that we talk, but he isn't sure it's a good idea for me to surprise him.
"Yes." If my tone is terse, it isn't intentional. I've been preoccupied this week, and it's stressing me out. I turn to look at him. "Sorry. Yes, I'm going up, but I decided to let him know I was coming."
Jake nods, coming fully into my room, "I think that's a good idea. I, uh, asked around, and everyone is saying that exam results still haven't come out."
Dropping to sit on the edge of my bed, I sigh. "Really?" I can't tell if this emotion I'm feeling is relief or anxiety. I want Edward to feel validated in his career and his work for the Navy, but I don't know if I'm ready for what that next step entails. I feel so selfish.
"You're going with him if he makes Chief, aren't you?" Jake's question breaks into my wallowing.
I snap my head up. "We've talked about it."
"And you said yes. I know you, Bella Swan. When you're in it, you're in. And now that you love him, there's no question. You'd move mountains to be with him." Jake smiles softly, but I can see some hurt in his eyes.
"I would." It's as simple as that. Because I do love Edward. Even six months ago when we first discussed it, I was on board. I was willing to consider it because I saw a future. Now? Well, love certainly changes things.
"Maybe I shouldn't go up there this weekend." Biting my lip, I reach for my phone and pull up my email. I'd sent Edward a note telling him I was coming, but I knew it would be some time before I heard back from him.
I could easily just send him another, apologizing and saying I'd see him when he got back.
Opening my inbox, I see one new message.
I can't wait to see you! Drive safe. I love you.
"Looks like I'm going anyway." I chuckle a little humorlessly.
Jake throws his arm around my shoulder. "Go clear the air. There's this great little crab shack by the base. Edward loves that place."
"Tell me what I need to do." I laugh as Jake and I head to the kitchen to dig out some ice cream and talk.