Here it is. Quite the last installment. There is an epilogue that I'm thinking to redo from the one I've written in Spanish.
Okay, this one goes to my good friend, tHe TrUtH aBoUt RoSeS, you'll decide if I still deserve my cookies supplies. After all, this fic was written because of your personal request. Thank you for asking me to write in English. I hope I won't dissapoint you. -crosses fingers-
And thank you, thank you so much, Evening Falls. You never allowed me to change anything, always urging me to keep it true as I wrote it. So, damas y caballeros, aquí lo tienen, for your enjoyment.
----xxoooxx----
Day 16
John didn't speak to me the rest of the day, nor did he look at me during the classes we took together in the afternoon yesterday. He did what I requested of him. Then, why didn't I feel thankful? He was complying with my wishes, right? Still, I missed his stupid remarks and his mocking smile. What was my damn problem? I asked him to leave me the hell alone, I should feel grateful and not this unaccounted sadness. I hadn't slept well thinking about those eyes with the color of a stormy sea. I was sitting on my bed, my room covered by the darkness of dawn.
Oddly enough, I heard some light footstep outside my room. A small note was slipped under my door. Slowly, I approached the note and took it from the floor. Only one sentence; 'Wait for me this Friday at 7o'clock P.M. my sweet and beautiful Southern Dame.' I opened the door and ran out, trying to find the owner of the message. But the halls were lonely and dark. There was nobody. Was I gonna get it! When Jubilee finds out that I took my sweet time to take it and read it, she would have a seizure, not before yelling: 'Heck, Rogue! By the way why didn't you take a shower and took your time dressing since you weren't in such a hurry.' I sighed; I really didn't care about my secret admirer. All my thoughts were for John. Oh, God! Was I ever going down a bad, bad road! Dragging my feet, I returned to my room. I had the feeling that it would be a long day; a very tiring and long day.
Day 17
I was on the brink of tears. John didn't do the slightest gesture to acknowledge me. The previous day was no different from today. He even sat far away from me, when he used to look for the closest chair. Oh, boy! What did I get from my attitude? The only thing I got was a hard discovery. I loved St John Allerdyce with every ounce of my being; yeah, ironic; to have him so close and have this revelation after I made a mess of everything. I wanted to have him at my side, listening to his foolishness and nonsense talk. I couldn't keep on going like this. I would look for the arrogant fool that I loved dearly and speak to him.
"Rogue!" That was Jubilee running towards me.
Stopping in front of me, she took me by the arms and said to me, "You, like, have to sit down right now."
"Don't be overdramatic…"
"Rogue, sit down, now!"
"What is going on?" I asked fearfully, having never seeing Jubes like this.
She dragged me to the nearest chair. She waited while I made myself comfortable.
"Okay, Jubes, what is it?"
"Bobby and Kitty had this humongous disagreement."
"Oh." I said, arching my eyebrows. That was all? I didn't understand Jubilee strange behavior.
"Almost the whole school witnessed it. And get ready for this… Kitty accused Bobby of being your secret admirer."
"You got to be kidding me." I scoffed.
"I'm not. Kitty practically shouted it along with a string of words… I didn't know someone so innocent had this wide vocabulary to choose from."
"Why was the Kitty Kat so sure of it?" I still didn't believe it.
"She had it in her hand."
"Gee, Jubes, can you be more cryptic?"
"She had the receipt for some flowers that she never received and she found it in Bobby's room, near to his bed."
I closed my eyes; I didn't like the turn things were taking.
"Do you honestly believe it belonged to Bobby?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"Well, it has to be from him for Kitty to be this furious."
"No." I whispered. It couldn't be Bobby. The idea even disgusted me. Perhaps, some weeks before it would have made me ecstatic… but not now, not ever. My heart belonged to a particular pyromaniac.
"There's still more to come."
"What now?" I felt a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach.
"Kitty told Bobby that John asked her to go out together and that she accepted."
Thank goodness Jubilee asked me to sit down. I was sure that all color left my face. Not my Johnny. He couldn't have done something like that… to me. Not being able to stop it, I took a hand to my mouth to choke a sob.
"Rogue?" I listened to Jubilee's worried voice as if she was far away from me.
I wasn't thinking, the numbness of my pain didn't allow me to. The tears ran down my cheeks, unchecked.
"Please, Jubes, take me to my room." I didn't want anybody to see me like this, least of all John.
In complete silence we made our journey to my room, grateful that we didn't meet anyone. I sat down on my bed.
"Could you… could you excuse me with the teachers?"
"Of course." I could see that Jubilee was truly concerned about me, not even once telling me a 'Told ya so'. "If you want I can come back to keep you company."
"No. That's okay… I think I want to be alone."
Jubilee made an affirmative gesture, understanding.
"All right. But I'll come by in the evening to check on you."
As soon as I heard the door closing after Jubilee, I gave in to my crying. Why did I have to discover my love for John now? The pain seemed to tear at my insides, trying to make two halves of me. It didn't compare to what I felt when Bobby left me for Kitty. Only now was I aware of what it had been, a slap to my pride.
And Bobby…
It was so difficult for me to think that he was my secret admirer. Unexpectedly, that strange night when John and I talked came to my memory. I remembered what he made me promise, that no matter what happened we would always be friends. John knew all about it. With despair I saw all the pieces fall to its place. It had to be Bobby, after all John was his roommate. It must've been John who surely informed him of my essay of Degas, of my favorite rock band… My God! Why didn't I die right there in that spot?
And how dare Bobby to court me anonymously while being with Kitty? I didn't understand it. Why so much secrecy instead of being straight forward and tell me that he wanted me back?
Just one thing didn't fit in all of this mess; John and his kisses. I may not be the girl with the greatest experience but his kisses… they were so full of passion. I would envy Kitty for the rest of my days.
Day 18
In the morning Dr. Grey came to my room to check how I felt. Yesterday, Jubilee informed the teacher that I had a very bad cold. Now, after she took my temperature I realized how hard everything had hit me. I was running a high fever. Dr. Grey told me to drink a lot of water and to not hesitate to call her if I got worse. In a few minutes after she left I fell asleep; I didn't get any sleep the night before crying like an idiot. When would I learn? No one should ever give me his time; I'm just the girl with lethal skin and personality's problem.
A hand began to stroke my long hair backwards and I thought that I was back at my house in Meridian, my mother, verifying if I was all right. But those hands weren't smooth as my mother's… they were hard, with a peculiar roughness. Feeling disturbed, I opened my eyes to find myself at 'Mutant High' and not at my parent's house. The hand didn't belong to my mother. It had awakened me from a deep sleep.
"Hey." It said softly.
John was sitting at the edge of my bed, smiling down to me. My heart jumped in my chest and I began to chant inwardly, 'He loves Kitty, He loves Kitty…' I wanted to remindmyself, not willing to make the same mistake again.
"I knocked on the door and decided to enter when you didn't answer."
I just kept staring at him, trying to loose myself in the sea of those eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked worried.
No; I wasn't okay. My heart was broken in many pieces. I would never be the same. Now I truly understood the meaning of playing with fire. If you get burned by it a scar would remain forever to remind you of what you went through… of what you lost.
"Marie?"
I closed my eyes. God! Why did it hurt to hear my name in his husky voice?
"What are you doing here, John?"
"I came to see how you were feeling."
"Two days. You didn't spoke to me in two days." I demanded.
He frowned, his face turning dark.
"You asked me to."
"Well, did I ask you to speak again to me?" This strange urge to defy him got control over me.
"No, but I came nevertheless." His eyes changed to this metallic gray.
I rolled on my bed giving my back to him.
"Don't do this, Marie." His voice sounding threatening enough.
"I don't want to see you or hear you." I shot back.
I was never prepared to feel those hands gripping me by the shoulders and turning me roughly. His eyes burning mine, hoping to see beyond them.
"Don't, Marie." Was that anguish on his voice? Definitely my mind was playing tricks on me.
"Why should I listen to you? Why, John?" I was doing my hardest to hide my pain behind my anger. Those hands were leaving a searing brand on my skin. His face had an angry coldness written all over it.
"Please…"
I held back my retort. Bewildered, I stared at him. Those eyes were smoldering with fury but that plea… it touched a hidden place in my heart. Unexpectedly, he pulled me against his chest and kissed me. I shouldn't have allowed him to but I didn't have the will to stop him. It was the most deliciously bitter-sweet kiss that I've ever received. I felt it as a goodbye and I tried to burn in my memory every detail of that mouth, those lips… and his scent, so much like the sun. That peculiar scent always fascinated me, bringing to my memory those childhood years when I played under the sun; smelling the summer breeze. That was how John smelled.
"I don't want to argue anymore." He said after pulling back and glancing sideway, "I… I missed you."
He still held me by my arms. I looked at him. Why didn't I see it before? He was so good looking that I held my breath. He was much more handsome than Bobby. John had this rugged handsomeness about him, looking manlier than Bobby; only his pouting lips giving him this certain air of playful boyish look.
"John… what is going on?"
I inhaled sharply when those eyes turned my way. They'd changed into the deepest blue I've ever seen.
"Marie, I…" He hesitated, clearly shaken of what he was trying to say, "I…"
"That's okay, John." I suddenly understood. I knew my arrogant pyromaniac like the palm of my hand. He wanted to apologize for all he'd done. He stared at me dubiously.
"What is okay?" He asked doubting my words.
"Everything." I sat. John let go of my arms and proceeded to take one of my hands. "I understand everything. We are friends, right?"
"Yes" He didn't sound very convinced.
"And we made this promise; we would always find a way to sort our disagreement."
His eyes fell on ours entwined hands. A slight frown marred his face. I knew instantly that he must be thinking of Kitty. It hurt but I didn't want to loose John's friendship either. It meant too much to me.
"Yes that we did." He whispered, his eyes still locked on our hands. To my complete embarrassment, I let out a yawn. He looked at me abruptly.
"I should leave; you need to rest."
Gently, he pushed me down on my pillows and after making sure that my blanket covered me properly, he bended down to kiss my forehead. "Go back to sleep, okay?"
"Okay." I whispered back.
As soon as he left the room, I began to cry again. I didn't have any pride left. Now I understood Kitty; if she once loved Bobby like I do John I couldn't blame her for snatching my boyfriend away. It was so tempting to do the same to her with John…but a Southern lady always behaved with propriety and dignity. I allowed myself those stolen minutes with John and it will not be repeated.
Day 19
The great day has arrived. The one I wished never to arrive. Dr Grey came by in the morning again. I was supposedly faring better than yesterday or so she said. She ordered me to stay in bed, rest would heal me faster. If only she knew! Only time could heal what was troubling me.
Jubilee and Siryn came at noon to visit me.
"It really disheartened me, I was so sure it was John." Siryn said.
The gossip running through the mill was of Bobby and Kitty's break up and that Kitty has accepted John's offer of going out in a date.
"But at least Bobby is the secret admirer, right?"
I stared at Siryn and like a fool I went down on tears.
"I don't care if it's Bobby." I almost wailed.
"Oh, Rogue!" Siryn embraced me. She was always so sweet, not the least concerned of my dangerous skin as she hugged me. But I took care of not making contact with my exposed skin.
"Spit it out, Rogue. What do you feel for John?"
My eyes lifted up to Jubilee.
"I love him."
"Those aren't like strong words?" I truly couldn't blame her. She had this resentment towards John; he always loved to annoy her.
"What do you want me to do, Jubilation Lee?" I exclaimed, exasperated. "I know you dislike John but I don't have control over what I feel."
For a few seconds she had this frown all over her face but softly it began to disappear. Taking one of my gloved hands, she said to me, "We will always be here for you. Together we'll help you to bear all this, right Siryn?"
"Of course we will!"
Perhaps I wasn't lucky in love but I had the best friends in all earth face. I was lucky indeed as I hugged back Siryn and held tightly to Jubilee's hand.
---ooxxxoo---
The rest of the afternoon passed with no events. I was sitting on my bed, reading to get myself back on day in my classes. I was so engrossed in my work, that I almost didn't hear the knock on my door.
"Come in." I said automatically.
To my total surprise, there stood John, in the middle of my room all anxious. He was dressed like never and he hid something in his back. He was unsuccessful of his nonchalant attitude. Something was definitely wrong with him.
"Hey… How do you feel?" He asked, he looked like he was ready to volt out of the room.
"Much better, thanks." I kept looking at him trying to discern his strange behavior. He sort of fidgeted, and I gave him a look, having never before seen him this nervous… How could I be so dense? It was all about Kitty. That name had already caused me too much grief lately, now feeling it entering my heart like a sharp knife. He was ready for his date with her and had come to see me as the good friend that he is, checking if I was all right. But he kept standing in front of me, looking, as if expecting something from me. He cleared his throat nervously.
"Aren't you going to ask?"
What?! Was he crazy? If he hoped that I would ask him about his date with Kitty, he was dreadfully mistaken.
"No." I answered sharply.
I saw his eyes take this intense blue color, like a dark purple hue, that they almost seemed unreal. I could understand his happiness, but he was asking too much of me to just sit here while I listened to all Kitty's wonderful traits. No sir, not me.
"I don't want to hear anything." I said to him hardly containing my anger.
"Anything." He repeated in apparent coldness, "Why not?"
"Can you truly not see what it would do our friendship?"
Was he blind? Didn't he see that I love him? It would be difficult to see him with Kitty, but to hear him speak of his possible reconciliation with Kitty… that was like going too far. I was in no mood to listen to all small detail of his date with Kitty. And… and he looked so handsome! He was wearing an immaculate white shirt , black trousers and that slick hairdo of his. Why did I love him so much?
"Our friendship." I could grasp the rage in his voice, "You promised me that no matter what happened, we would always keep our friendship."
"But now you are asking too much of me."
I saw him taking the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to hide a sneering laughter, I wasn't sure if it was anger or contempt or a mixture of both.
"All right, I won't say anything to you." His voice was so cold that I could feel the chill going down my spine. "Everything will be forgotten. Nothing has changed; our friendship will remain true if that is all you want."
Behind all his fury, I could get a swift glimpse of dejection. He didn't wait for a reply on my part, he just walked out of my room, for mere seconds letting go of a beautiful rose's bouquet to unconsciously gripping them back. Something tugged at my mind when I saw their colors, the red striking against the white. I threw myself on my bed, crying heartbrokenly. I was behaving like a bad friend, it hurt me to do so but I couldn't cope with a happy John with his Kitty. Why didn't she keep Bobby?
When they knocked at my door again, I had stopped crying. I was wondering if I should let whom ever it was to enter my room and Jubilee came inside taking the decision from my hands. She had John's roses in her hand. I looked at her puzzled; shouldn't he be right now with Kitty giving them to her while professing his undying love?
"I saw John throw them away into the waste basket and you know me…" Jubilee said, shrugging her shoulders.
"A gossipmonger through and through?" I provided arching one of my eyebrows.
"I prefer to see myself as someone who is concerned of everyone's welfare." She protested, bugged by my comment.
"Whatever." I replied back.
She sent me this overbearing glare and gave me a note, deciding to ignore my remark. "It was with the flowers."
I stared at the note, afraid to read some declaration of love from John to Kitty. I gathered the nerve to open it and I read: 'For my sweet and beautiful southern dame. Love ya. John.'
My heart stopped completely; all air left my lungs. I definitely didn't read it right.
"It was John, all the time, it was him." I detected the incredulity in Jubilee's voice.
'John loves me.' That phrase repeated itself in my mind, one that meant all my life. The realization sinking in; it wasn't Kitty, it was me. My God! How could I be so blind? He came to my room a little after seven… and the roses. I could almost hear my grandmother; 'Marian D'ancanto how could a southern lady see that bouquet and not grasp its meaning? Shame on you, young lady.' My sweet grandma taught me all there is to know about how a southern lady should behave and should know. White roses mixed with red roses. The declaration of a secret love.
"Oh, Jubes! What I've done?"
"You tell me."
"I practically threw him out of my room, thinking… believing…"
"That the flowers were for Kitty." She finished for me. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"
"Fix all this mess, somehow…"
"Are you sure? After all he's only a pigheaded, arrogant and stupid pyromaniac."
She had this small knowing smile; she was joking with me.
"Oh, but how much do I love that pigheaded, arrogant and stupid pyromaniac."
"I saw him going outside, to the garden."
"Thanks." I hugged her briefly to fly away from my room. I heard her yell, "Good luck!"
Was I going to need it! I hurried through the halls in my hasty need to find him, the flowers in my hand. Outside, I looked around the mansion grounds. Using of what was left in me from Logan, I tried to smell the air hoping that I could track his smell. Worried, all I caught was the smell of burning plants and trees. I ran toward where the scent had come from. I stopped cold on my tracks, in fearful amazement I found him… never before have I seen him making that wonderful display of his mutant abilities. He was sending these great blazes of fire and all around him was covered in fire. The wind made it dance dangerously about him; his face was illuminated by the brightness of the fire. I could sense his enjoyment on all that awesome demonstration… and something else. I was terrified.
"John, stop it!"
He stopped, the flames dancing in the soft breeze of the night. He could control fire, but it didn't mean he couldn't get hurt.
"Leave me the hell alone, Rogue."
I flinched like he'd slapped me in the face. He hadn't turned around to look at me.
"Please, look at me."
I heard his hateful laughter, hollow and cold. "What for?"
"John…"
"Go away!"
I decided to make a bold movement, something that would give him the assurance of what I felt for him. Without thinking, I ran to him through the fire. I covered my face, the heat was unbearable. Luckily, I had a pair of jeans and long sleeved sweater. I felt a pair of strong arms encircling my waist and next, a hand taking my face to hide it in a firm chest. Stunned, I watched the fire disappear completely. He took me by the arms to shake me forcefully.
"Never, ever do that again!" He enunciated every syllable, swearing under his breath, afterward. "You took one hundred years of my life with that stunt. Are you crazy?"
"Maybe…" I suddenly felt shy.
I looked up at that handsome face, those eyes shining and my heart jumped. I whispered to him. "You scared me too."
"What are you doing here?" He asked me his voice impersonal and tired. His eyes settled in the flowers between my hands. Still feeling a strange shyness, I did the only thing I could think of. I chose the two less burned roses, one red, one white and gave it to him. For several seconds he looked at me as if I've gone insane. As if in some kind of revelation, his face changed drastically and those eyes, those beautiful eyes that had me completely captivated, were shining like the pure jade.
"Rogue?"
"Marie." I corrected him softly.
"Oh, God! Marie…"He said with a hoarse voice, as if his whole life depended on that simple name and surrounding my waist with his arm, he kissed me. Everything stopped around us and nothing else existed; only his lips making all that wonderful magic that made all my inside go all gooey. Delighted with that pure and beautiful kiss, my eyes misted. My soul seemed to take a flight toward the star; only my beloved John being responsible for all of it.
"Please, Marie. I need to hear it." He pleaded over my lips.
"I love you, John."
I felt him trembling between my arms. His voice was huskier than never before. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that."
He hid his face in my hair, hugging me fiercely. "You're my whole life."
I hugged him back, reveling in those words. Oh, I knew my John. He would never outright say that he loved me. I never expected to hear those words coming from his lips. But John was simply… John. And I loved him in no other way.
We stayed like that for a long while, holding at each other. I enjoyed his particular and wonderful heat, filling me with this unique sensation of completeness. Dark and cold, that was my life before he came to mine. His warmness had chased away my coldness, my sadness. His love helped me to overcome the fears which had never allowed me to be who I was now between his arms.