AN: This may be stupid, but because the sixth book was completely ruined for me (still adored it, yet angsted majorly), I just wanted to warn everyone that this chapter includes an incredibly largeHBP spoiler. Thanks for reading!

Chapter Eleven

"Was it a dream?" Severus asked as he awoke. He rolled over on his side, and smiled when he saw Lily, perched at the end of his bed in only her blouse and underpants, reading one of his books.

"Judging by the look on your face, I wouldn't wager that," she told him triumphantly.

He sat up. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Only seven o'clock. And the Quidditch is still going strong, I'm happy to say."

"Whew," he let out, and fell back onto his pillow, closing his eyes.

"A little put out, are you?" she inquired slyly, as he prodded her with his foot from underneath the covers.

She grabbed it.

"Well, yeah," he replied honestly. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Oh, yes. Maybe a little… strained, but in a good way."

"It was fine, then?" Severus inquired quietly.

"It was-" she searched for the right word. "Wonderful. Fantastic." She grinned at him and released his foot.

"I love you."

Lily looked at him, and for a second, he thought he saw worry in her face. "What was that?"

Severus propped himself up on the pillow. "I said that I love you."

"No, you don't," she laughed, and turned the page in his book. "You certainly have a lot of spells in here. I'm impressed."

Severus jolted up. My Potions book. "Why are you looking at that?" he demanded.

"Calm down! I wanted to see what tips of mine you'd written! Quite a lot," she smiled.

He told himself to settle down as he got out of bed and rummaged around for underwear. Having found some, he pulled on his trousers and sat beside her.

"You're really sharp," she complimented. "All of these spells… Did you think of them on your own?"

"Yeah, I don't have much to do sometimes."

"I wouldn't belittle this, Severus. This is highly intelligible work for someone who was just bored."

He shrugged off the compliment, but felt proud.

Lily set down the textbook. "But why didn't you put your name?"

"What?" he asked, but he backed up a little, inhaled. She noticed.

"Half-Blood Prince? Kind of weird- are you like a super hero on the weekends?" she teased, poking him.

"No," he said dryly. Severus! Why did you have to write that? It's so stupid. So bloody stupid.

The smile left her face. "Why, then?"

"My mother's maiden name is Prince. I want it to be my name. Anything besides Snape. Anything besides a name that has to do with him. I started calling myself awhile back. It helped a little, I suppose. A cool nickname. But I guess it's pretty idiotic," he muttered.

Lily put an arm around his shoulder. "Not especially. I come from Gryffindor, Idiotic Nickname Headquarters."

He laughed uncertainly. "I guess so."

They flopped backward and lay on the bed, staring up at the canopy.

"Severus Prince. I like it, but he sounds a little conceited."

"He is. But he's pretty cool."

They sat in silence for a moment, until Severus had to ask. "I was your first time, wasn't I?" It wasn't definite in his mind, but he thought so. He'd felt it.

"Yes, of course," she answered.

"Of course?" he repeated. "I guess I'm a little confused. You always talk about Potter like he and you never. Do anything."

"How so?" Lily played with her hair.

"Like after Hogsmeade. You said that you two had never done what we did, and you've sort of joked about he and you just kind of hung out. Or something. Am I correct?"

She sighed. "Kind of," she said hesitantly. "You're on the right track."

"You and Potter have never kissed?"

"I never said that," she exclaimed, smiling a little. Severus looked away. It irritated him.

"All right, then, have you made out?" he challenged.

She snorted. "What is this, twenty questions?"

"Have you?" Severus repeated, more loudly. He was beginning to get a sick feeling in his stomach.

"YES!" she answered; she matched his tone.

"Ugh," he stated, and sat up.

"Honestly! We are dating, you know! People do those things! And who are-" Lily caught Severus' aghast expression, and she suddenly noticed her mistake.

His eyes became angry slits. "So, you're dating? That's funny. I remember a few days ago that you were separated."

Make this good, Evans. You better make this good.

She choked on her words as they came out- "Like I said, we aren't official, we- aren't-"

"That's shit and you know it."

"Yes, it is."

Severus' stomach turned. Now he wanted her to lie. "It is?"

"We were still dating, but it wasn't going well. I wanted you, Severus! I was tired of James. I've told you a million times!"

He breathed in. Tried to cool down. "Okay. I can deal with that. But why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you'd be repulsed if you knew James and I had… And that we were still together."

"No, you aren't repulsive, even if you've been kissed by Potter." He settled back down and she chuckled. "So, you've never had sex with him?"

"No, Severus! No. I told you!"

"Right, okay." He was trying to make sense of all of it. "You wanted me," he told himself aloud, to try and make it real. "But James Potter. It just seems like any chance he had, he'd jump on you."

Lily shook her head. "It's like I've said. He gives an impression of being so suave and collected, but really, he would get so nervous! A little like you-" Severus found this extremely interesting, if not gross-"except more so. We'd snog, sure, but last time, he pushed me off because I guess I had gone too far, or something." She rolled her eyes, and laughed. "James Potter, the big macho boyfriend, said that he wanted to wait until we got married. Stupid, isn't it? Who knows when that will happen. He says he wants it to be next year, but I just couldn't…" she trailed off.

'Until we got married.' Severus was certain he'd heard her wrong. She must have said 'Until HE got married.' But she didn't. She said what you're thinking. Does that mean..? They're getting married? And that she wanted to fuck him first, but he wanted to wait and she just went after me because…

'I just couldn't….'

Severus sat up. "Until you got married?"

"Oh." Lily had once again realised her mistake. She sat up as well, her hair falling over her shoulders, and for once, Severus did not want to touch it. "Severus, I thought you knew!"

"No," he said, sneering grimly. "No, somehow you forgot that minor detail, though I can't really blame you. It's only been about a week."

"I didn't want you to-"

-"Think it would be bad to be in love with you?" interjected Snape crisply. "Think you were off limits?" he hollered. "Realise that you didn't want me? You just want to fuck before you married Potter. That's certainly an interesting memory you can tell your friends for decades! How Lily Evans ensnared the school freak."

"It isn't like any of that!" She was backed up, her knees pushed together. "I do want you! I told you that! I've always been fascinated with you and I didn't just want to make love on a whim!"

"Don't call it 'making love', it wasn't making love," Severus shouted in her face. He knew that he looked scary, he was clenching his teeth and his eyes were haunting and abused.

She whimpered quietly, shocked.

"It would have been making love if you were in love with me. But you aren't! You wanted Potter but he wouldn't fuck you!"

"STOP CALLING IT 'FUCKING'!" she screamed back at him. "Fucking sounds dirty and low class!"

"Well, I'm both of those things and that didn't stop you," he said meanly. His whole body was shaking.

Lily stood up, never taking her eyes off him, like he'd take advantage of her if she wasn't careful. She grabbed her skirt off the floor, stepped into it. "I need to go," she said quietly.

"No, you don't," he told her viciously.

"Don't be a jerk, Severus."

"I am a jerk, and you should call me Snape!"

At these words, she backed up. He stepped off his bed and started after her slowly. The two of them moved sluggishly, never looking away from each other's gaze.

Severus descended upon her, almost hungrily. "We never talked about your life, much," he said. "Come on, Evans, tell me about how your parents don't get you some more. It's really unfortunate," he tsked. "And your sister's a cow? What does she do, wear your makeup while you aren't home?"

"Shut up," she quavered.

"Let me guess about how your house looks," he continued. "I'll bet it's one of those ones that has the cute, little picket fence. It's light blue and fairly large, with flowers everywhere. Your father's always out in the garden. People slow down their cars to admire how perfect it is."

"Stop it," she warned.

"I'm right, aren't I? You have absolutely nothing to complain about. You could have stayed with your perfect boyfriend, you could have just left me alone! Why didn't you just leave me alone?" he shuddered, because now, he knew. He knew instantly how everything was going to turn out.

Lily stood firmly in her place. "I thought you were decent! In fact, I know you are, but if you keep treating people the way you are treating me right now-"

"How about the way you treated me? Used me. You used me, Lily Evans! And you don't even see it! I told you about my life-" now his voice was wavering-" and you just got what you wanted out of me, didn't you? Lily's little pity shag. I hope that it holds you off until marriage so you don't have to pursue other losers."

"How dare you!" she shouted. "It wasn't like that!"

"Tell me, then, Evans. How was it like?"

"I wanted it to get this far, but I didn't mean it to! I never thought it would get this far, I didn't even mean to kiss you, but I did. I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted you to feel good about yourself- I wanted to be friendly to you. It just… Got too serious," she finished, and Snape had to credit her with at least looking sorry. But rage still seethed inside him.

"You took my feelings for you and used me," he muttered. "Just because he wouldn't have sex."

"No," she snapped. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"I wonder, if you'd been paired with say, Max LeVampe, would you have flirted with him instead? What about your friend, Lupin? What if Slughorn hadn't paired us up? Would you be telling some other bloke the same story tonight?"

"I requested you!" she stated. "Remember last time we had partners, and you and James started that huge riot and Slughorn had us write down who we'd want to be with for next time? Well… it was more of, who we wouldn't kill if we had to work with them? Anyway, I wrote down your name. Not James'. Not Remus'. Your name. I wanted us to get together, Severus."

"But you didn't want us to stay together," he interpreted. At this point, he was going to be against her, no matter what.

"Will anything I say make this right?" she probed angrily, her eyes flashing.

He gaffawed callously. "No. Because you what you did to me wasn't right. I can say this with absolutely no guilt. You played me. However good your intentions were, you let me believe that you only wanted me, and that you and Potter were not an item. You made me act so stupid! I usually keep my wits and look at this situation!"

"I'm sorry!" she said insolently. "It isn't like you weren't a part of this. And would you have really cared if I told you that James and I were together? You said at coffee that it would make it more dangerous. I think you liked imagining yourself taking Potter's prize."

"I didn't-"

"And don't act like you had nothing to do with us! Weren't you just on top of me a few hours ago? It isn't like you didn't want it. You were so desperate, I don't know what you'd do if it weren't for me! God! Talk about wanting to jump on me at any chance!"

Severus wanted to tell her it wasn't true. That he'd been leading her on, just like she'd done him. That he had a girlfriend, too. But he couldn't say anything.

He stared at her, his legs wobbly. This had turned into the worst nightmare he had ever experienced.

She covered her mouth. "I'm really sorry- that was cruel, I-"

"You are Potter's girlfriend. I can tell now, you know? I couldn't see the attraction before but now I do. You're both equally cruel and nothing changed about him, just YOU. You're the one who BECAME LIKE HIM!"

"You don't mean it!"

"How little you know me."

"I know you better than anyone!"

"AND THAT'S ONLY A LITTLE! You don't know anything, you slag!"

Her face crumpled. "You don't mean it!" she said again, stepping back once more, her hands reaching out to grip anything that would steady her.

"Snob. Princess. Bitch." A lump was growing in Severus' throat. His arm was outstretched. His eyes were wide, flashing with horrifying anger. Dead.

She turned to flee, and in an instant, he grabbed her roughly by the hair.

"MUDBLOOD!" he screamed. His voice was an inhuman yowl, and he almost did not recognise it.

Lily was shoving him, yelling for him to get off, he was pulling her by her crimson tresses. Gripping her by wrist forcefully so she couldn't shake him.

Finally, he unclenched his hand and shoved her forward.

Lily stumbled backward, breathless.

She shot him a look of horror. Tears were alight in her eyes. She looked accusingly at him and pointed.

"You-"she began, her voice quiet.

Severus recoiled. His hands felt like they were burning. He hadn't really just done that, had he?

They made eye contact. His were wide with horror, hers dripping with tears and staring disturbingly.

Her finger pointing at his face; she seemed to be struggling for the right word.

"You. Are. A. Coward," she finished, and she ran for the door.

Severus stood, rooted to the floor. He listened to her wailing, clattering up the stairs, slamming the door, the portrait of the count yelling, her wailing, hurrying up, up, up. Up to the light. Up to her friends, who were obnoxious, but they weren't abusive, they wouldn't say those terrible things. Up to her pretty, perfect house and her perfect life. Up, up, up.

'You are a coward.'

"No," Severus cried out, the silence pounding in his ears. He stared at his hands as though they were drenched in blood. No. No. No.

'Severus Snape, stand up and quit being such a coward.'

"Please."

'He didn't even hit you that hard- I swear, he's only trying to make you stronger!'

He fell to his knees, his mouth open in a sob.

'You are a coward.'

'He's your father, Severus. He's only trying to help you!'

These words pounding in his ears, he drifted down to the floor, his naked chest burning against the rug as he dragged himself back to his bed. Black hair in his eyes, groans uttering from his throat, he pulled himself over to his chest. The drawer fell onto the floor with a clatter. Grabbed out his robes and wrapped himself up in them. His protection.

He crawled over to the bed and hoisted himself up. There were still two imprints from two bodies. He began to cry and lowered his head to the rumpled sheets. A mixture of scents filled his nose. Smelled of Lily, like her perfume, her soft scent. Smelled faintly of his come.

Gagging, he wrenched the sheets off, balling them up, punching the mattress. Hating how stupid he'd been.

He didn't want to sleep there. He didn't want to lie there ever again, bathed in the memory of what had occurred.

He wasn't certain who to loathe more. Lily Evans or Severus Snape.

Pushing himself off of the bed, he fell onto the floor and hugged himself. He sniffed, hiding his embarrassed face in his robes.

And there, upon the floor of the Slytherin dorm, he decided that since he all ready hated himself, it would make the most sense to hate Lily Evans.

So he did.