Disclaimer: I don't own XenoSaga 1 2 or 3, any of its people places or things.
Author's Note: OK people, some people misunderstood my last author's note )not many, but a few). I don't mind getting reviews with spelling corrections, getting reviews with ONLY spelling corrections is what bothers me. I don't mind criticism, but spelling corrections isn't criticism. For the people that do agree with me, thanks for your support. For those of you who still are submitting ONLY reviews with spelling corrections, I will stick to my word and block your reviews.
Here's the final chapter of A XenoSaga Christmas, enjoy. And to keep with XenoSaga fashion:
The story thus far…
Shion has decided to submit to the UDO in her mind and has completely lost it, turning into another Albedo (not a good one, but another one). Chaos is looking for a vessel for Cos-mos/Mary Magdalin and is going to try his luck with Momo. Jr is getting money for Momo to buy Christmas presents, and Jin won't stop crying every time he sees a moth due to psychological/insecurity issues.
And now the dramatic conclusion to…A XenoSaga Christmas.
;;sings to the tune of South Park's Woodland Critter Christmas;;
A special time, a special year, it's XenoSaga Christmas. Hail Satan!
"What are you guys talking about Chaos?"
"Nothing Momo, nothing. Are you having fun tonight?"
"Oh yes." Momo smiled gleefully. "I helped Jin get better, and every one is so nice to me, I love Christmas time!" Momo giggled excitedly, not noticing the gleam in Chaos's eye.
"Momo…" Chaos started. "Are you…happy?"
"Of course I am Chaos, why? Do you want to be happy? I can help if you want."
"No that's alright. Do you ever…want to kill yourself?"
Momo gasped.
"Heavens no! Why would anyone want to kill themselves?"
"So you don't know longer have the will to live?"
"…No…why are you asking such strange questions Chaos, your scaring me."
"So your soul isn't in eternal turmoil Momo?"
"…fraid not. Come on Chaos, let's go party!"
"No thank you." Chaos turned to Kos-mos. "Let's go. We have no use for her."
"Of course Chaos."
Chaos and Kos-mos walked past Momo, ignoring her completely. They walked into the crowd of unsuspecting women, scanning it for victims.
On the other side of the room…
Jr had collected lots of money from "selling candy and was looking for more people to "sell" it to. He spotted someone to solicit it to and began to run over to them when he bumped into something.
"Ow!" he hollered, looking up. "Oh, what're you doin here old man?"
Jr looked up at the tall cyborg known as Ziggy. Jr grinned widely as a plan formulated in his head.
"Say old man," he started. "Would you like to help me sell some candy?"
"Candy…why on earth would I want to do that?" Ziggy replied in his stern deep tone.
"For Momo. I'm selling some candy for Momo to get money for Christmas presents, so now do you wanna help me old man?"
Ziggy's eyes lit up at the sound of the little girls name. He looked down at the URTV and nodded.
"Alright, I'll help if it's for Momo. Give me some candy."
"Here you go old timer!" Jr handed Ziggy a handful of candy which was hardly anything for the taller man, but never the less he took it. Ziggy bounded towards a man who was leaning against a wall, holding a glass of red wine.
"Hello." Ziggy said flatly. The man jumped in Ziggy's shadow, spilling some of his wine.
"Would you like to buy some candy?" Ziggy held out his massive hand and showed the man some hard candies. The man swallowed.
"You're with that kid, aren't you? The kid with the gun?"
"I'm helping him, why."
The man jerked, spilling his wine completely. He reached into his wallet and gave Ziggy all of his GP and ran away as fast as he could. Ziggy looked down at the GP, particularly shocked.
"Well this'll be easier than I thought."
"Yeah, it really is."
Ziggy looked down. Jr was at his side, smiling broadly.
"What do you do to them Jr?" the older man questioned. Jr smiled even wider.
"I…sell them candy, by any means necessary. Come on old man, we've gotta get a lot of money for Momo. After all Christmas is right around the corner."
Ziggy said nothing, he just walked over to another person who did the same as the first man. Ziggy shrugged and just kept on going, not caring to know what Jr was doing to sell the candy.
At the dining area…
"This punch is really good, don't you think?"
"Yeah, so is this soup. I love the parties on the Durandal, they're so much fun."
A woman and her teenage daughter were sitting at a table, enjoying the delicious food at the buffet. Little did they know, they were being watched.
A leather clad Shion was watching them from behind a large candy cane fixture. Not only was she decked out in black leather, but it left very little to the imagination. Her eyes gleamed with a wicked spark as she watched the pair enjoy their food.
"Yes, yes. Enjoy your food. Enjoy it…until I take it away!" Shion cackled maniacally. "Soon no one will be able to enjoy their delicious holiday snacks, because of me! Misery and pain will engulf all living things, MWAHAHA!"
Shion darted out from behind the fixture and snatched the bowl of soup from the teenage girl just as she was about to dip her spoon into it once again. The girl yelped as Shion then took her mother's punch and spilt it onto the floor. Shion danced around gaily and cackled.
"HAHAHA! Try enjoying your food when you don't have any, feel the misery and pain in your stomachs, the same misery I've felt for years. MWAHAHA!!!"
The Mother and daughter gave each other "This lady's totally nuts" looks. After a few seconds of watching Shion's victory dance, they both stood.
"Wanna go back to the buffet?" the Mother asked her daughter. The daughter nodded.
"…What?" Shion stopped her laughter and looked at the two women walking towards the buffet line.
"…Oh no you don't! You will be miserable, just like me. Be miserably hungry, and your stomachs will growl with the anguish of your souls!" Shion ran ahead of someone getting some food and ran behind the buffet fixture that held the many assortments of holiday food. She grabbed on to two of the central legs and tipped it over, knocking every sort of food and utensil onto the floor. People gasped as they watched the wonderful food hit the floor. Shion cackled wickedly.
"HAHAHAHA! Now absolutely NO ONE can eat, feel the misery consume your souls!" Shion started to dance around again, cackling wickedly. People looked down at the food, completely ignoring her.
"Ten second rule!" one man exclaimed as he dove onto the snacks, dozens of other people followed suit.
"The food that didn't touch the floor should be fine!" another man shouted. Shion glared at them.
"No, you can't find a way to eat, you have to be miserable like me! NOOOO!!!"
In the hallway…
Jin was walking through the hallway of the ballroom humming "Fatal Fight Jin and Margulus" when he stumbled onto a bleeding Allen. He looked down at Allen shocked.
"Allen, what happened?" he asked nervously. Allen looked up at Jin with puffy eyes.
"Chief…she punched me in the nose. I was just trying to help her, and she punched me in the nose. I don't think there's anything we can do for her anymore Jin."
"She…did this to you?" Jin asked shakily. Allen nodded.
"She…shut you out…" Jin slowly began to slump to the floor, tears forming in his eyes.
"She'll shut me out, like moths to a flame!" he began to sob into his hands, Allen looked at Jin disgustedly.
"OH come on, I didn't cry that hard when I got punched in the nose. Grow up Jin." Allen stood up and walked away from the bawling man.
"I can't be seen with someone like you, I gotta see if they came for Chief."
In the middle of the room…
"So your sold isn't trapped in eternal turmoil?"
"No sir. I suggest you find a better pick up line."
"Darn. Let's go Kos-mos."
Chaos and Kos-mos had gone through ten women and of course had no luck. After the eleventh girl they decided to take a breather and sit down.
"It shouldn't be this hard." Chaos said, Kos-mos looked at him puzzled.
"I think your wrong Chaos. I didn't want to tell you, but there is a 2 percent success rate with this plan. It is, pardon my language, a very stupid plan."
"Don't say that Mary." Chaos said exasperated. "How else will we have-"
"NOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME, I'M NOT INSANE!"
Chaos and Kos-mos both stood as they looked over to the buffet area. Shion was cornered by three men with white shirts and coats on, she squirmed as she was restrained with a straight jacket.
"What the…come Mary, this might be a golden opportunity."
"Of course Chaos."
Chaos and Kos-mos walked over to the three men. Around them were Allen, Jr, Ziggy and Momo all looking confused.
"Sorry Ms. Uzuki. We got specific orders from Chief Allen Ridgely to take you to the Vector Insane Esilam, it's out of our hands."
"LET ME GO!" Shion hollered. "I HAVE TO COMPLETE THE CHAIN, I'M NOT DONE WITH MY MASTER PLAN!"
"It's for the best Chief," Allen sighed wiping his nose with a napkin. "I'm sorry, but you need help. We can see you when your sane."
"Kevin would never do this to me Allen!"
"Once again, Kevin was evil Chief!"
"Poor Shion…" Momo thought aloud. "I'll visit you in the facility, OK?"
"Go to hell!"
Just then, Miyuki walked through the door.
"Alright guys, this time I used an Ether Pack DX, now I can party for sure!"
"GUESS AGAIN!" Shion squirmed in her jacket, just enough to get over to Miyuki. She head butted the girl, then bit her nose. Miyuki cried and ran off again. Shion cackled wickedly.
"Yeah Shion, your not nuts." Jr said sarcastically.
"SHUT UP Midget!"
"Hold on."
Everyone turned to see Chaos and Kos-mos standing behind the three men. Chaos walked forward a few feet, then stopped.
"Shion, are you a tortured soul?" he asked.
"Of course I am, I want to cause eternal misery to all who wish to thwart me!"
"So…is your soul in eternal turmoil?"
"Yes, why Sherlock!?"
Chaos turned to Kos-mos.
"Is she alright Mary my love?"
"She is fine Chaos."
"Alright then," Chaos turned to the three men. "Don't worry sirs, I'll take care of her. She'll be just fine when I'm done with her."
"…Is that alright Chief Ridgely?" one man asked Allen, he nodded.
"I trust Chaos. Do whatever you have to to get Chief back to normal."
"Of course I will. Come Shion, Kos-mos and I will help you get better."
With that the three men handed Chaos Shion, still in the straight jacket. Chaos and Kos-mos went into the same side room that Jin had gone into earlier that night. No one really cared what they were going to do, as long as Shion would be alright.
At the end of the party…
"Here you go Momo, enough money for Christmas presents."
"Oh really, thank you Jr, your so good at selling things!"
"Yeah, well I had some help from Ziggy. Besides, when I told them who it was for they handed over money like it was trash. So when do you want to go Christmas shopping?"
"Oh I dunno. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Alright, I'll take you to 2nd Miltia tomorrow, we'll have fun."
"OK Jr, I can't wait!"
Momo ran off to put her money away. Just then…
"Damn it Gagnan!" a gunshot rang through the air and hit Jr in the head.
"Damn you to hell Gagnan, how dare you lock me in the closet and plant another clone. Christmas prank my ass!"
"Jr?"
The real Jr turned. Momo was standing behind him smiling.
"Yeah Momo?"
"Thank you for all of your help." She slowly walked up to Jr and hugged him tightly. Jr smiled.
"Oh yeah…" Jr muttered.
"What Jr?"
"N-nothing Momo."
"So when do you want to go shopping tomorrow?"
"…Huh? Oh, anytime you want to Momo."
"OK."
With that Momo walked away. Just then, a very conservatively dressed Shion walked up to Jr.
"Hello Jr." she said warmly. "I'm feeling much better now. Chaos helped me through all of my troubles, now I feel perfect."
"That's good to know Shion. I'm glad your not nuts anymore."
"So am I Jr, so am I. Well I have to get going."
"Alright Shion, see ya."
Shion walked over to Chaos and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Was that good?"
"Yes Mary, they don't suspect a thing."
"I'm glad. Now can we get to performing those certain functions you wanted?"
"Of course. I have a room ready right over there."
"Alright. I'll see you there."
Shion/Mary went into the room. Chaos smiled and pulled out of his pocket a small wrapped package that said "Trojan Man" on it.
"This is gonna certainly be worth it." He said to himself.
"I can't wait to get started Mary."
THE END
Author's Note: And there you have it, the end of A XenoSaga Christmas. I'll probably make a sequel, but you'll have to wait and see if I do. I hope you enjoyed it.
For those of you that don't know, Trojan Man is a brand of condom. That's right, Chaos was just horny!
But anyway, I hope you enjoyed a XenoSaga Christmas, Happy Holidays everybody!