The One Who Sees All - Xander

"Why is the path unclear?"

As Anya goes about her nightly routine, Xander Harris makes a beeline for TV and switches it on. Normally, he flicks through the channels in search of something but tonight he sits down and stares absently at the screen. He is numb and cannot will himself to do anything. The news about Buffy's fate is too much for him to take in. She was in freaking Heaven then she was pulled out, after all the hell she endured after her mother's death she had finally been at peace. Then they had ripped her away and dragged her back.

Xander had been pretty much against it from the start but that didn't mean that he wasn't glad to have his favourite slayer back in action. He was upset that she had to go through coming back to this harsh reality but the bottom line was that she was back.

He hears Anya go into the bathroom and looks over to the door. Xander loves Anya more than he has ever loved anything in his life but he is beginning to have doubts. They are no doubts in regard to her, they're not even doubts that are life changing or could change his entire futures. Xander likes to think of them more like pit stops and he smiles to himself as his analogy. It's not the most descriptive but it's an accurate one.

He only wants the best for Anya, it's all he's ever wanted. Xander steeples his hands together and places them against his lips. He can't believe everything that has happened to him, how lucky he is. He has his own job and a decent one at that. He had his own apartment and not to mention the most amazing fiancée in the world, in the universe even!

So why does he feel like there is something wrong with this equation? Perhaps it is just the old Xander Harris raising his head.

The Xander Harris who expected everything to go wrong as it always did. The schoolboy who went to high school where everything went wrong for him. He never got high grades, whenever he asked someone out he got rejected. Cordelia Chase was an exception but even that ended in disaster.

Xander tries to be optimistic and is the one who is always making the jokes in a bad situation. It's not all bad but sometimes even he has doubts, his just not very good at vocalising them as some people. He brightens up some as he actually looks at the TV to see back-to-back episodes of COPS.

"But there's these fears I can't quell."