"I touch the fire and it freezes me."
It's dark and it's late yet Buffy Summers remains completely unfazed as she walks through the quiet cemetery. She knows that she should be at home with her loved ones sleeping but instead she is walking through a silent town in the dead of night. There aren't even any demons or vampires or other nasties lurking about which is unfortunate because the Slayer really feels the need for a good kill.
She sighs dramatically as she steps over a broken tombstone and walks to the gate. Swiftly, Buffy scales it and lands on the other side. She dusts off her hands and pulls her coat to her body tighter before beginning the short walk home. Normally, Buffy wouldn't be out this late but tonight she feels the need to be anywhere but home. Besides, she knows that her younger sister is safe at home with Willow and Tara and yet it was a different story only a few hours ago.
She is close to home now as she turns the corner and finds herself walking down her street. Buffy stops at the end of the driveway to see all the lights in the house are off so everyone must be asleep. She looks to the row of houses opposite, up and down the block and gets the same result. Complete darkness with only the street lamps for illumination.
Undoing her jacket, she walks into the backyard to gain access to the rear of the property. She pushes open the kitchen door quietly, shuts it too and locks it while setting her coat down on the counter. Buffy walks to the refrigerator, opens it and peers inside but she has no appetite tonight. Instead, she just opts for a bottle of mineral water and closes the refrigerator as quietly as she can. Quickly, she unscrews the cap and gulps down half the bottle in one go, unaware that she was so thirsty.
With the bottle still in her hand, she walks into the front room and all her senses go alert when she hears a noise. Buffy's body only relaxes when she realises its Tara sleeping on the couch but this only confuses her more. She quietly climbs up the stairs and enters her room, closing the door behind her with a silent click. Buffy places the bottle down on the nightstand next to her bed and walks over to the window. Promptly, she opens it up to allow fresh air into the room. She inhales deeply she fights back tears. Up until this point she has just been existing, just been playing it one day at time and going through the motions.
Now she doesn't have this luxury because her friends know the truth. It was something that Buffy didn't want them to know as she had already caused them enough pain and suffering without all this. Then again, did she really think that she would be able to keep something like this to herself forever?
Sure, she had told Spike but he didn't count, right? Spike wasn't even considered a friend, he was just there when she needed to talk but yet, she had kissed him. Buffy wrinkles her nose as the thought as she never imagined that she would do something like that with Spike of all people.
She straightens up and folds her arms while leaning against the window frame. No, she thinks that it was just a delayed reaction to the whole incident with Sweet the Demon. All her friends had been present when she inadvertently revealed the truth about her death. Buffy truly thought she was in Heaven and she was happy there. It was such a wonderful experience, to be in a place where she had no worries or cares. She had missed her friends dearly but she knew they were safe and that they would look after Dawn. For once in her entire life Buffy was at complete peace, she wasn't the Chosen one and she didn't have to fight. For once, she didn't feel utterly alone.
Sometimes she can't even cry for what she had lost, for what she touched briefly. She cannot comprehend what she is feeling apart from the disappointment of coming back to this world. Buffy unfolds her arms and upon the town of Sunnydale. It's vast and looks so peaceful and quiet but in truth it's worse than it appears. It's sitting on the mouth of Hell, which means that in a heartbeat it could be far more terrible than any Hell dimension in existence.
The people are so rude and only care about themselves and inferior things. If only they knew how much she had sacrificed in order to ensure their survival, to save the world.
No wonder Buffy had thought this was Hell when she first came back, she had started to feel this way about life even before she died. Buffy inhales deeply once again in an effort to take in more of the refreshing night air into her lungs. She closes the window so that it's only open an inch or two then walks over to her bed.
Instead of getting undressed, she climbs on top of the covers and lies down. She stares out of the window and from her position she can see the sky. The stars shine faintly back at her and a brief smile passes over her lips as she thinks back to the place she used to be.
"I think I was in Heaven."