Chapter 28 Inevitable Change

Gold wondered if he should put aside some money to give to the hospital with specific instructions that it should be used to redo the waiting room on the ICU floor. Not that he ever wanted to grace the doors of this room ever again, but he supposed he could be a little unselfish for once in his life, and think about the other poor people who would have to suffer here. The chairs were some sort of seventies greenish yellow and his rear and back told him they had been upholstered around the same decade. There were a couple of chairs that were considered double ones, ones he assumed would be considered the 'sleeping chairs' that looked equally as uncomfortable as the smaller one he was sitting in. There was a coffee pot, a water cooler, and a vending machine a few doors down that completed the care that was seen to the visiting family and friends. It was a blessedly slow day in the ICU, as he was currently the only occupant. Neal had volunteered to stay with him, but he had no idea when he would be going back, so he had gotten Dove to come by and pick Neal up, as Dove was the only other person in this town he trusted with his son, besides Belle.

Belle walked in, staggered in was a more accurate word, really and his heart hurt for her. She looked worn, scared, and then she looked surprised when she saw him.

'You stayed.' A tired smile played on her face.

'Of course.' He only yearned to do more. As much as he had come to have a strong dislike for Belle's father, the man was her father and she cared for him despite it all.

Belle sat down beside him and seemed to deflate where she sat.

'It was a heart attack.' She gave an answer to a question he hadn't asked yet, but he supposed his eyes had wondered. 'I was so worried this would happen one day. He hasn't been eating the things he ought, no matter how much I tried to help him with it. He has been drinking too much, and dealing with too much stress, apparently…Add to that a history of a poor heart and…' She trailed off for a moment. 'They think it's damaged his heart considerably, but they are trying to figure out how badly and where we go from here. If it's bad enough he might have to have surgery.' Her face was in her hands, as if the thoughts were too much

Comfort. That's what Belle needed right now. Someone to hold her and tell her it was going to be alright. Belle needed a friend, a good friend, a friend who knew what to do. Maybe he should ask if he needed to call Ruby, or perhaps Emma. But as he heard the distressed breathing beside him, he couldn't bear to leave her, no matter how selfish that made him.

'I'm sorry, Belle.' So lame. Should he pat her arm and say 'there, there' to complete the awkward mess? Her stomach growled, saving him from somehow making things worse and giving him the opportunity to give her the small things he was able to do for her.

'I, um, a nurse just brought up two burgers from the grill downstairs that is attached to the cafeteria. Nurse Astrid assures me that it's the best food in the place.' He leaned over and grabbed the two styrofoam containers that he had set aside and lifted them to show them to her.

'That's so sweet of her.' She looked at him. No matter that she was under distress, she was a sharp one, his Belle. 'It's normally not a regular thing for them to run errands for visitors.' She gave him a sideways glance, he tried his very best to maintain a neutral position, which had always come easily until he had gotten to know her.

'Mmmm, I suppose it isn't.' he kept his lips in a tight line.

She brought the container to her lap and took a free hand and squeezed his arm and gave the smallest of giggles . 'I think this one time, I don't want to know how you got her to bring this up.' No, she probably didn't. There were few problems that couldn't be solved by power, money and intimidation, but he knew Belle wouldn't appreciate any of those methods. She was conquering the world through kindness, well, hearts anyway-his heart more specifically, and if she could do so to the most reviled man in town, what could she do to those whose hearts were a little less darker than his? So he did not tell her that he knew Nurse Astrid had been looking for potential houses for her and her fiance Leroy to live in. He knew of the exact house she had been looking at, and she knew that he knew, and he assured her that he could make it within in their budget now could she be a dear and go get some things to make Belle's stay more comfortable (not that he said it like that-he insisted on food that wasn't the typical bland cafeteria fare, some blankets and the sorry excuses they had for pillows, and could they possibly move one of the chairs that could recline back? No? Alright, he supposed she was doing everything she could, so he would excuse that one hiccup in his barked orders).

…

The next few days were a bit of a blur for Belle. Her father's heart had been severely weakened from the heart attack and he went on to have a bypass surgery to open blocked passages to help him. Belle had finally gotten Alex to go home once the visiting hours began once more the day after the heart attack. It was Neal that had helped her get him to go and rest and be with his son. He had so little time with Neal that she didn't want to selfishly take it away, no matter how comforting his presence was. He had stayed all that night with her (and how bad it must have been on his leg!), holding her hand, being a shoulder to lay her head on, pestering nurses to make sure the stay wasn't as uncomfortable as hospital stays normally are. For all this seemed vaguely familiar, and yet so different at the same time.

When her mother was at the end of her life, she had been brought home, but there was all the in between times. The time between finding out she had cancer and her leaving her and her father behind. There were the chemo treatments and the hospital scares, and finally, closer to the end, she had her longer stint in the hospital before the scans showed that things hadn't gotten better, only worse. Then there was the sleeping in hospital chairs, cafeteria food, the bright lights, frigid temperatures, and feeling like you were on the edge of your seat for something to change, and yet lethargic and unable to think over the beeping of machines and constant interruptions.

This time was different though. While Alex had eventually gone back home, he texted her often, came by and sat with her while she waited on her father during his surgery, and even convinced her to come back to the Victorian for a few hours to shower, eat and nap. Things were different, because this time, she didn't feel alone.

When her mother had gotten sick, her father had gone numb, and later sunk into great despair. Belle had to make sure he ate, slept, showered. She coaxed him to go home and let her stay on so many nights. He could only see his own grief, throughout the ordeal and especially once her mother was gone. Belle could understand it. She herself had her world rocked and she never felt quite the same ever again-yet, she could not shut the door and wallow in grief, she had to hold her head up, store her tears and save them for bedtime, her pillow had her main comfort and had held all her tears. Ruby and Emma, while sweet girls, hadn't really known what to do. They had put their hand on her shoulder, looked at her in a 'sorry about your mom' kind of a way, and then tried to help her forget. Her father should have been her kindred spirit when the loss was so great, but he could only see his own loss, and tried to shut the world out, so she had to be the one to not let him leave it too quickly.

She was just so thankful that this time she had a friend like Alex to be there for her. She again felt the tally was mounting, and there was no way she could ever repay all that he had done and was still doing for her, were she to work five instead of one year. She had also felt horrible that she was not keeping her end of the deal while her father was in the hospital, but Alex had insisted that 'you would be no good to me worried and stressed. I'll be getting salty pastries instead of sweet ones! No, no, better do what you feel needs to be done. The dust will still be here when you feel comfortable coming back again.' He had said it to make her smile, she knew. He was successful and she gave him one of those tight hugs that she always felt a little embarrassed of afterwards. She loved him, and she felt like she was being blatantly obvious with her love. She didn't want him to feel like she was being too much, when all he was trying to be was a good friend. Friends could hug, couldn't they? Sure they could, she assured herself-and so she did.

'I think it would be in your father's best interest to go to the Cardiac Rehab in —City. He lives by himself, doesn't eat right, and doesn't handle stress well. The rehab will show him lifestyle changes, and ways to deal with his stress in healthier ways.'

The doctor's stern, icy blue eyes told her he was of the 'no beating around the bush' variety of doctor's. She liked that, in that she didn't have to push to know what was going on or feel like she was left in the dark from some sort of need for him to be sympathetic. Her father's heart was far weaker than it needed to be. And while the bypass was considered successful, he would forever have the threat of another and more damaging heart attack on the horizon.

'He has a business-a small business that relies on him to manage it. Just the last week of him being here has hurt it significantly. I don't know what he'll do-what he'll be able to do.'

Belle tried to remain calm. Already the thought of all the bills that would be trickling in for a man with no insurance had given her more than one sleepless night (well, even more sleepless than ones that she normally had at the hospital). What would they do with no income whatsoever and the inability to pay anything? File for bankruptcy, try to start over? Wasn't that the very thing they had tried to avoid when she chose to instead go and work for Mr. Gold?

'Miss French, I'm afraid that if your father doesn't make these lifestyle choices and continues to juggle the same stresses he's been under, there is a big likelihood that he'll have another heart attack before the year is out, and one that might actually be fatal.'

Her heart clenched. She nodded towards the doctor as she looked over the brochure she had been given.

'I-I understand.'

'Then can I go ahead with transferring his information to the facility?'

She would just have to figure something out.

She nodded again.

Her father looked pale against the white sheets. He was slightly more alert since the day before. Still in a lot of pain, still on a lot of medications.

'Hey there Bluebelle.' He had been sounding a lot more like his old self since things had happened. He hadn't mentioned what he thought Belle had been doing with Alex, or given any derogatory comments about who she worked for. He had talked about her mother for the first time in a long time. Told her she had grown to look so much like her, and that he wished she was still with them. Belle had held onto each one of these conversations, storing them in her bank of good memories of her father, just in case…just in case

'Hey Daddy, how are you feeling?' She swallowed a lump in her throat over the conversation that needed to be had.

'Like I want to go home, Belle, when can I go home?' The term of endearment had been dropped and a whine had been adopted in its place. This wasn't going to be easy. And to try to explain to him what needed to happen without him getting upset, or stressed…

'This was a scary thing, Daddy. Your heart needs time to heal.' She took his large hand in hers and squeezed it lovingly. 'And the doctor has a plan and I want to explain it to you, but you must first promise me that you will stay calm and listen, really listen. Okay?'

She looked up at her father's sickly pale face. If he had aged a decade after her deal with Alex was made, then he had aged at least five or six years over the past few days. His whole face deepened in wrinkles at her words, but as the seconds went by between what she had said and his reply, resignation seemed to wash over him and he finally nodded his head.

'The doctor says that your best chance at getting better for the long term, is a rehab for those with your kind of heart issues. It's just for a few weeks, and they will help you so much.' She tried to sound more confident than she felt.

'But Daddy-can I ask you something, and again, please listen and think before you answer me.' He looked at her curiously.

'I don't know what to do about the shop. What if we, I don't know-what if we could find someone to take over the shop. I know the lease is with Mr. Gold but maybe we can sell the inventory and business itself, and it might tempt someone who knew that they wouldn't have to pay on the lease until March. That might give us enough to get a little place to rent? You could find a less stressful job, something that even if it didn't pay well, would be consistent. The hospital and doctor bills… I know it's going to be a lot but it's nothing we haven't done before, and as long as you pay even the tiniest of bits they won't come for you.'

Tears were flowing down both of their faces. Tinges of red came to the once white pallor of her father's skin and she was worried she had said too much, too soon. She just didn't know what to do with the business now that she knew her father would be out of commission for weeks on end.

'Flowers, they are my life Belle. I don't know anything else, you know that.'

'Of course you can do something else.' She tried to soothe. 'And are flowers more important than your health? Please Daddy. We are all we have left of our family. Please, don't make me have to lose you too, so soon.' She was sobbing for real this time. Her father's chest rose and fell sharply, but he finally seemed to calm down.

'I'm sorry, Bluebelle, really sorry.' He whispered. He pulled on her arm to bring her closer. His grip was weak, but she knew what he was trying to do and came close enough that he planted a kiss on the top of her forehead. And just like he had done since her mother died, he decided that perhaps it was better if Belle took charge. He had a very bad habit of making poor decisions without her input, but he was also in the habit of letting her make all the other ones and just following along for the ride, letting her bear the burden of both habits, unfortunately. This time, she was actually glad when he patted her on her arm and said,

'Alright Belle, whatever you think is best.'

And that was that.

Now there was so much to be done. She had already thought through (but had not suggested it to her father, as she didn't want him to expect her to take care of his bills for him-she had learned this lesson the hard way at last) how she would ask Alex if she could adjust the deal. Perhaps work a few more months in exchange for only working a half a day so that way she could get a second job. She also hoped he might use his contacts to help her find someone to take over the lease-that he would allow someone to take over the lease at all, seeing the circumstances were what they were. This meant she needed to go home and talk to Alex.

With her father doing much better that day, she had asked him if she could go back (she didn't call it home. She always made sure she didn't call the Victorian home in front of him, no matter what it was to her soul) and get a shower and have a full night's sleep. He whined a bit, told her not to forget him and come back soon so she could help him begin figuring out the next steps with both transferring to the facility and what would need to be done with the shop. She assured him she would be back, texted Dove and was both happy and nervous to see the pink house come into view once more.

Alex had a concerned smile for her. The smile went away and the concern went deeper when she told him she needed to speak to him. His face went dark and if she wasn't so tired, she would have noticed how nervous he looked. Neal looked at them and took the hint and said he would take his supper upstairs again. She smiled and thanked him, and she and Alex were left downstairs alone.