Author's note: Wow, Chapter 7 already! It seems like yesterday our heroine was almost being run over by a car!

Where we left off last time:

I wasn't prepared for the whirlwind of emotions that were going to follow.

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If I ever thought that I was prepared to go back to the Burrow, I was sadly mistaken.

As soon as Harry opened the Weasley's door, we were ambushed.

"Hermione! Harry! Where's-" Ron stumbled in behind us, looking pale. "Ron!" Mrs. Weasley, along with Ginny, rushed over to us. "Fred, George, help your brother to the table!"

The twins went over to their brother and grabbed his arms. "Come on, Ron," they said, helping him not fall flat on his face.

I wondered how much he truly had drank. I got my answer soon enough.

"Herrr-mi'ne!" Ron cried out, nearly falling off the chair his brothers had placed him in. "Come here!"

All eyes were on me as I walked towards the drunk red-head. As soon as I got near enough, he reached out and yanked me to him. It was a clumsy movement, and I ended up falling on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked, helping me up. "Ron, you are a prat. You know that?"

That threw her brother into hysterics. "I'm not a bloody prat! So I've had too much to drink!" He continued his little rant for a few minutes before Mrs. Weasley shut him up.

"Ronald Weasley, go to your room this instant and get in your bed!" It seemed like Mrs. Weasley knew what she was doing, speaking to her son as if he was 5 again. I remembered Harry doing the same thing back at my flat, and again, I wondered if Ron had gotten this drunk before.

"Okay." He stumbled over to the stairs, but after many failing attempts to get up the first stair, his brothers and Harry propelled him forward towards the drawing room couch. "Thanks," Ron mumbled before closing his eyes.

I stood there like a fool, not knowing what to do.

Harry and the twins came back to the kitchen table and sat down. I took a seat next to Ginny, who was talking to her mother.

"Mum, we really need to do something. Ron's going to kill himself if he keeps this up."

Mrs. Weasley looked grim but made no answer. A silence fell over the group; even the normally irrepressible twins seemed to have nothing constructive to say. I finally felt that I could speak up without interrupting something important.

"Okay, so I know that everyone knows what's going on, but I don't. Clue me in," I said, trying to keep my voice under control. Was there something wrong with Ron? "Please?" I added, trying not to sound too freaked out even though I was.

Ginny sighed. "Well, about a year after you left,"- a slight blush colored my cheeks- "Ron began drinking. A lot. Told us it helped numb the pain." She shook her head and I could see Mrs. Weasley's eyes begin to water. "He never told us what his pain was."

I gulped. Guilt washed over me. I had caused this. It was all my fault.

"It got worse too. It didn't stop at a few drinks. Soon it was a bottle, then two." She shook her head again. "We couldn't control it and we didn't know how to stop it. He wouldn't let us help."

I could see everyone's somber face and I felt horrible. I had caused this family so much pain, so much agony, when in fact I was trying to save them from it.

"I'm so sorry," I told them, hanging my head in shame. "It's all my fault."

"You didn't know what was going to happen," Harry said, trying to comfort me, but it wasn't working.

"Yes, but I could have prevented it." If only I hadn't been so selfish and a sudden memory of that night flashed in my mind.

---

I walked out of the hospital, the cold, crisp wind playing with the stray hairs that had fallen from my ponytail. I could never go back, I told myself. I had caused this family too much pain already.

I glanced back one more time, tears filling my eyes, before I made myself continue walking. I had no idea where I was going to go. If I were to hide out in my flat, they would know I was there.

I had to move.

The thought quickly entered my mind before I could ponder any alternative.

But, where to go? I barely had any money and I didn't feel comfortable asking my parents for the cash.

I wandered for hours, my mind thinking about everything and anything. I wondered if my life would have been different if I never went to Hogwarts, if I ever would have met Ron and Harry and Ginny. I wondered if Ron would be okay right now if he hadn't jump in front of the curse that was meant for me. I wondered if Ron would be the one leaving, walking the somber streets of London at midnight, trying to escape it all. I wondered if he would have stayed, held my hand every day and every night until I woke up. I wondered if he would have been stronger than me.

---

"I think we should go to bed now," Mrs. Weasley said, patting her daughter's hand. "It's late and I'm sure you're all tired."

"We need someone to watch over Ron," Ginny said.

"I'll do it," I told them, the words out of my mouth before I could think about it.

"You don't have to--" Ginny started, but I cut her off.

"I want to." I had to, since it was pretty much all my fault.

"If you're sure..."

I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine. Go and sleep. I have things I need to say to him anyway, so don't bother to try and argue."

I said good-night to everyone and watched them go up the stairs to their separate bedrooms. Sighing, I returned to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.

I returned to the drawing room and sat in an armchair opposite of the sofa that Ron was currently sprawled on. I took the quilt hanging off the back of the chair and wrapped it around me. But neither the tea nor the quilt could warm me up.

How could I have left him? How could I have left him lying in the hospital after having saved me? He probably woke up disoriented, wondering where he was. He probably wondered where I was, hoping that I wasn't far and that I'd be back soon. He probably wished that he had died when Ginny told him I was gone.

Tears brimmed my eyes at the thought. I could not let myself go down that path, so I tried to think of something else. But, everything that I thought about brought me back to Ron.

Groaning, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that I must have fell asleep, for now the moon was no longer high in the dark sky. Ron, however, had not moved an inch.

I got out of my cozy cocoon and padded over to the red-head. I checked to make sure he was still breathing and had a pulse. I leaned over him and he suddenly moved, moaning lightly. Before I could pull away, he opened his eyes and gazed up at me.

"Mione?"

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone hit me over the head with a bloody brick." We both chuckled lightly. "What time is it?" he asked, sitting up slightly, only to grab his head and moan in pain.

"Sit, and I'll get you a glass of water." I grabbed my empty cup of tea and went into the kitchen. I took a clean glass from the cabinet and filled it most of the way with water. I glanced at the clock before I returned to Ron.

"Here's your water and it's 3:30 am," I told him, handing him the glass. I sat down on the sofa at his feet, watching as he gulped back the water in one sip. "Thirsty?"

"Very," he said, licking his lips. "But not anymore. Thanks."

We gazed at each other for a minute before I broke the silence. "Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you do it? Why do you get drunk all the time?"

A dark shadow passed over his face. "You don't need to know."

"Ronald Weasley, I am worried about you! From what I hear, you getting drunk happens regularly. Do you want to kill your liver?"

"It's not like you care."

I couldn't believe this. Tears sprung in my eyes. "I do care. More than you know!"

"Enlighten me then." His tone was harsh, but I couldn't blame him; I was playing with his heartstrings.

"You are my best friend. You always have been and probably always will be. Even thought I left, something I regret every day of my life, I've always cared about you. More than cared. At one time, you could even say I loved you." The words were spilling out of my mouth and I was unable to stop them; secretly though, I didn't want them to stop.

He snorted and crossed his arms. "Why did you leave then?"

I hung my head in shame. "Because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of what would have happened if you died." It came out in such a whisper that I didn't know if he had heard me, but his face softened slightly.

"But I didn't die," he told me.

"Obviously, but at the time, I was sure that you were never going to wake up. I couldn't live with the fact that you took a curse for me, and that you might die." I looked up at him and we locked eyes. "You couldn't die. You just couldn't. There were so many things left unsaid."

I felt him take my hands in his. My heart was beating slightly faster. "Like what?"

"Like how I feel about you." I looked into his eyes and I knew I couldn't stop.

"How do you feel about me?" He could tell I needed encouragement and I was grateful that he knew me so well.

"I feel... confused." When he gave me a puzzled look, I tried to explain the best I could. "When we were at Hogwarts, I felt something for you, more than a friend. Then, while we were fighting in the war, I decided to tell you how I felt since I didn't know if we were going to make it through the next day, but I chickened out. I heard you talking to Harry about someone you liked and I realized that you probably didn't feel the same way about me as I did about you."

"Hermione-"

"Ron, let me finish. I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to finish this another time." When he nodded, I continued. "I had decided that if we made it out of the war alive, I was going to tell you. But, at the final battle, when you jumped in front of a curse, I thought you had died. I thought I was going to die without you. So I left. I didn't want to be the constant reminder to your family of what happened to you as a result of saving me."

Tears sprung in my eyes and I let them flow freely.

"When Ginny kept owling me, I was too afraid to open the letters. I was positive she was going to tell me you hadn't made it. For two years, I lived wherever I could, eating whenever I could, burying all memories of Hogwarts and you and Harry. I didn't use magic because it seemed wrong, like I was doing something illegal, as if I no longer deserved my powers. It sounds silly, I know, but it's the truth."

Ron squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile, urging me to continue.

"I finally found a quaint little flat, although it was in the middle of a very shady neighborhood. The landlady was nice; she gave me a deal on the place as long as I would come keep her company a few times a week. I met Mike a little while later."

Ron stiffened, gripping my hand slightly harder.

"He was great a first. A little odd, mind you, but nice. He brought me flowers once in a while, took me out for picnics and was just sweet in general. He helped me forget about my past mistakes, without knowing about them himself, but Ron, he was not you. No one could ever replace you."

A deep blush colored my face, but I continued. It would be too hard to stop.

"He was diagnosed bi-polar a few months later, but everything had stayed the same. He was still as sweet as ever. But then," I paused for a moment to take a deep breath, "he found my wand and realized I was a witch. Muggles know about witches now, as you know. He was understanding at first, then he got hard. He wanted me to make money appear out of nowhere and no amount of explaining could get him to think otherwise. Mike got violent with me, telling me I was worthless and that I had great power that I didn't use. I tried to explain to him, to get him to understand, that you just couldn't wave the wand and conjure up whatever you want. You needed an incantation, needed focus."

A frown had appeared on Ron's mouth and my own mouth mirrored his.

"He stopped taking his meds for a while, claiming he was fine and didn't need them. But 5 or 6 months ago, Mike came over angry and depressed. He had been sacked from his job; boss told him either he took his meds and behave or he'd be gone. I guess Mike didn't take the former option and the latter happened. He begged me to make some money appear, just a small amount, so he could get his medication. But, I knew that the prescription was always filled on the first Monday of the month. It just so happens that I had gotten his medication that month. I knew he was lying and I didn't go for that, so I told him to leave. He left, but came back an hour later, drunk out of his mind."

Ron took a shaky breath. I was glad that he hadn't interrupted me so far, but I could tell he wanted to scream and curse with everything I was telling him. "Like I was?"

I shook my head. "Compared to him, you were slightly tipsy. He came in and started insulting me, hitting me. I didn't know how in the world he was hitting straight, but at the moment, I only feared for my life. Mike took out a knife that had wet blood on it and... and... he..."

My stomach heaved and I felt like I was going to be sick. My scars were burning and my breath was coming out in short gasps.

"Hermione? Hermione!? Are you okay?" Ron shook me lightly by the shoulders. "Look at me!" I looked up into his blue eyes, and I could see my reflection in them; I saw fear on my face. "He's not here anymore, okay? It's just me, it's Ron."

I broke down, sobbing hard. I curled into a tight ball and let the emotions shake my being. I could feel Ron's arms around me, trying to comfort me. I cried into his shoulder, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach. "I'm s-s-sorry!" I cried. "So so-so-sorry!"

"Shh," Ron cooed, rubbing circles on my back. "You're okay. It'll be fine." Eventually I stopped crying, but we still sat there in each other's arms. I didn't know what time it was, or how long we were sitting there, but I knew that soon the rest of the Weasleys and Harry would be getting up soon.

"Ron?" I looked up at my best friend, wondering how he was taking all this.

"Yes, Mione?"

"I think I still love you."

A grin stretched over his face. "I think I still love you too."

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Author's note: Okay guys, sorry for the wait. But, we had no power for a few days and then I got in trouble (still am actually, but my parents aren't home right now) and I've had so much homework! I'm thinking one, maybe two more chapters. What do you think?