Further

By a.j.

Really, when you think about it, Freddy wasn't sure why the hell he was surprised. It wasn't as though Zack had ever had a girlfriend for more than a week. And whenever he had a girlfriend he had always spent more time with Freddy talking about anything but. In fact, Freddy wasn't sure why he hadn't known that Zack was gay before.

Of course, you don't really think about somebody being gay when you're ten or eleven years old. Of course, if he was going to assume Zack was gay then why not himself? It wasn't like he had stopped the kiss. Of course, that could not be true. Of course.

He wasn't gay. He so wasn't gay. He was not a fag. Not that he had anything against fags. He just refused to be one of those poufy glam rockers.

He wasn't gay. He just liked kissing guys. And not really all guys. Just Zack.

Zack, with the pretty, red lips and the deep, brown eyes – almost black, really – and the dark, longish hair that was just long but shaggy enough to be hot and the insistent, passionate kisses and-

Great. Now Freddy had a hard-on.

But it wasn't like he could stop thinking about the kiss they had shared. It wasn't like anything he had ever experienced before, and he had experienced a lot. It wasn't like with a girl, where you had to hold them just right, tell them you loved them, be gentle and careful and nice, hold back as much as you could just so you could hear the soft mewling sounds they made, where their lips fell open under yours gently like a flower, where they told you to stop just when things were getting to the hot part. It wasn't like that at all. With Zack, it was very primal, just two writhing, sweating bodies pushing against each other, where their hands were everywhere at once and they didn't fucking care about "the right way" or "the romantic way" because they were both happy enough just knowing that they liked the kiss a lot. There weren't flower-lips, there were two hot pokers pressing against him and almost burning him. There wasn't the whole bullshit about "Ooh baby that was nice," or little mewling sounds; there was just a lot of groaning and gasps and the little insistent moans that Zack made when Freddy's hands got anywhere near his ass.

And God, there was so much passion he had felt like he was about to pass out but he didn't want to miss the good part.

He wasn't gay. He was very, very straight, in fact. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he fucked on a regular basis.

Oh, excuse him. "Made love to." Never fucked.

But it wasn't his girlfriend that he had kissed yesterday. It wasn't his girlfriend's ass that he was thinking about when he had rushed home yesterday and his hand automatically gravitated to his pants. It wasn't his girlfriend's name he practically screamed in whatever voice his throat could muster up when he had come all over himself in record time. And it sure as hell wasn't his girlfriend that was, once again, giving him a raging hard-on with just the thought of her.

His hand instinctively reached down and curled around his cock, stroking himself quickly.

"Zach," he choked out, his thoughts trailing back to the one moment they had shared together the day before. "Oh, God."

He wasn't gay. He was, in fact, very, very straight. He just happened to enjoy the taste of one boy. Just one boy. One very, very delectable boy.

And maybe, just maybe, he would get the chance to taste more than just his mouth next time.

Suddenly, he felt the rush of an orgasm hit him as he grunted and released into his own hand. His head hit his pillow and his eyes shut.

He wasn't gay. He wasn't gay. He wasn't gay.

Maybe it would be easier to think of Zack as a girl. With no boobs. And a cock. And okay, so he wasn't a girl. He was just a very pretty boy.

Freddy was so fucked.

Freddy laughed drunkenly, his whole body buzzing with the beer that his friend Kevin had given him. The two slumped against each other, each too gone to do much more than babble about nothing and everything and nothing.

He turned his head to face his friend, smelling the musty taste of old alcohol on Kevin's breath.

"You know who your sister looks like?"

"Who?"

"My friend Zack."

Freddy felt the chuckle rumble through his own body, shaking him, and his eyes narrowed. "Why is that funny?"

"Zack is such a fag…"

Freddy's eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare call my friend that."

Kevin suddenly stopped laughing. "Dude, just last week we were sitting here laughing together at how stupid his hair is. What's with the sudden 'tude, dude?"

I had just been making fun of him.

Freddy closed his eyes and turned his back on Kevin.

"Nothing. Just… nothing." He sighed and took in a few deep breaths. "Hey, pass me the joint, will you?"

Kevin grinned and did as Freddy commanded. Freddy looked down at the drug in his hand, thought about Zack, and took one deep, long drag before exhaling slowly.

Impaired judgment was a bitch, Freddy decided. From now on, he needed to drag somebody around behind him to be with him always and tell him when what he was doing was a good idea or a bad idea. Otherwise he ended up doing things so stupid even he knew they were stupid.

Which explained why he had somehow ended up at Zach's house at 2:00 AM on a Friday night, both high and drunk off of his ass and throwing small pebbles from the rock garden at the window he knew was Zack's as though any of that was a good idea. And he knew from the second that That Face appeared in the window, eyes wild and frantic with fear, that what he was doing was utterly and completely stupid.

Of course, it was far too late to back out now. Especially when Zack had just thrown down a makeshift rope ladder made of bed sheets and clothes.

Freddy grinned and started ambling his way up the wall of the posh house with the vines all along it, making just enough noise to be constantly shushed by the other boy. When he finally reached the top he was pulled hastily into the room and the window was shut just as quickly once the ladder was pulled in.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Freddy?" Zack hissed, his eyes still holding the same crazed look as before. Freddy giggled, his hands reaching up to run through Zach's deep brown hair.

"Hey, Rapunzel," he breathed, his eyes gazing at the long, shaggy hair in his hands. How it got to be so perfect was beyond him. It wasn't as though it was very soft or very straight. It wasn't very well kept; in fact, it was messy and somewhat coarse. And yet, it still happened to be the hottest thing Freddy had ever felt. He groaned a little bit as he buried his face in the locks of hair, rubbing his face in it as he kissed along his scalp. He was suddenly pushed away, against Zack's bed.

"You're drunk," Zach accused. Freddy scowled.

"Oh, like you've never been."

Zach sputtered for a few seconds, caught. Freddy giggled.

"You're so cute," he commented as he started crawling back to Zack. He was met once again with hands to his chest, sending him backwards and up against the bed once more.

"I can't talk to you when you are drunk."

"And high!" Freddy announced happily. His grin suddenly disappeared when the frantic brown eyes he loved to look at so much suddenly filled with concern and fear.

"You are what? What… what the fuck were you thinking, Freddy?" He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair, speechless. "I just… I didn't know… what was it?"

"Weed." Freddy answered simply, a slight edge of fear creeping into his voice. He hadn't meant to make Zack worry. And, for some reason, it felt right to sporadically latch onto the other boy and cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Zack! I didn't mean to make you worry!"

The two lay there for minutes upon minutes, Zack working his hands through the other boy's short, spikey hair, then rubbing small circles into his back, and every once in awhile placing small kisses on his forehead, soothing him. When he tried to move Freddy cried out, clutching at his chest.

"Don't leave me!"

Zack smiled. "I'm not. I'm just getting the blanket." He pressed a small kiss to his friend's forehead before retrieving the red comforter and draping it across the two of them. They lay on their sides, holding each other, silent.

After a very long- though pleasant, Freddy though- while, he broke the silence abruptly. "Zack?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not gay."

Freddy felt the sharp intake of breath against his cheek from the other boy and held his own breath, not sure what he had just done. When he felt his body being pushed back away from the movement of Zack's chest, he let out the breath with him, relieved.

"I know."