1997.09.13

Entry 4:

So forget all sanity, Harry's back to normal. He tickled me almost to the point of going to the bathroom in the middle of the common room! That was days ago, however. Today, he wrote me a note in the middle of Potions.

: Hermione, you're hot, marry me.

Hermione had to hold back a laugh, she hated when he passed her notes like that. They were so unlike something anyone would imagine Harry Potter writing.

She dipped her quill in her ink bottle and glanced up at Snape before scribbling back her reply.

Sorry, but my hotness has attracted other suitors and one has already stolen my heart.

She slid the note over the table into Harry's view. He read it and glanced up at Snape before clutching his heart as if he'd keel over from her reply. He wiped away fake tears before dipping his quill in his ink bottle. He glanced up at Snape again and scribbled a few words down again. He slid the parchment over.

Not your heart! I'd planned on breaking into the Gringotts vault tonight! Blast! Tell me who it was, so I may use my fame to steal your heart from him!

Hermione bit her lip hard as she fought back the laugh. He was only trying to get her into trouble, she knew that, but it was still fun to joke with him. Hermione looked around the room, wondering whose name she could use and spotted Draco rubbing his head, flattening his hair to his head once more.

Draco Malfoy I'm afraid, the slimy git slid in on his head…

Hermione slid the note over to Harry and felt a large wad of parchment hit her head. She glanced up to make sure Snape was too involved too notice her turn around. She turned and stuck her tongue out at Ron, who through another piece of parchment that landed right in her mouth.

She coughed, loudly, but quickly made it look as if she'd just turned away to cough. Ron was laughing at her as she coughed once more before turning back to face the front of the room.

The piece of scrap parchment was back in front of her.

I imagine the hollow quality helped in some way.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry and turned the piece of parchment over.

Yes, actually. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.

She slid the paper over to Harry and he laughed. She'd won; he'd been the one to crack, even if he covered it expertly with a cough. She could see him biting his lip as he coughed behind his hand, hoping Snape wouldn't give him detention.

"You two," Snape said angrily as he walked over to them, "what is your problem."

Harry put his hand down calmly, covering the piece of parchment up.

"Just a bit of wolfsbane dust left from the last class," Hermione said with a smile as she ran her finger over the table in front of them. She'd noticed it was covered when they first walked in, but didn't imagine she'd need to use it as an excuse later.

"Well, wipe it up," Snape said angrily before walking back to the front of the room.

The note slid back over to Hermione.

You win, again.

Hermione smiled cheekily at Harry. :

Sometimes I think he's lost the plot really. Tickling and stupid notes aside, he's still strange. Back to normal isn't exactly normal really, I saw him biting his lip the other day, his lip! He's never bitten his lip.

His scar was hurting him also.

: Hermione and Harry sat on the couch facing her fireplace, both dozing off in the heat. They were both tired and should've gone to bed, but were both too lazy to actually get up.

Hermione's eyes were closed and leaning once more against Harry's shoulder. Harry's head was resting back against the couch, his eyes starting to close, but would occasionally flutter back open.

Hermione felt Harry's body go rigid and her eyes popped open. She looked at him, his teeth clenched as he grabbed his forehead. She moved and raised her hand to his jaw. Her other hand grabbed his shoulder as she tried soothe him.

"Harry," she said over and over softly, hoping to bring him some comfort. When the pain subsided seconds later, he was out of the breath.

His chest was heaving heavily as she lay on him, her hands still on his shoulder and jaw. "Ar-are you okay?" she asked softly, her thumb gently massaging his cheek.

They looked into each other's eyes for a while, neither of them speaking again.

Harry took a deep breath and clenched his teeth, he looked up at the ceiling again, avoiding her gaze. "Yeah, I, I should go to bed now," he said softly; his voice distant.

Hermione felt closed out, but she didn't want to argue with him, not when he was hurting. She leaned back her hand lingering on his jaw longer than she'd meant for it to. :

He's been studying his Occluemency for ages now; he says he never dreams anymore that's how good he's got at it, so why was his scar hurting that day? Maybe because he was falling asleep and hadn't done his Occluemency.

I think that's the first time in a while his scar hurt him. I wonder if he saw anything, if he did I wonder what he saw.

What else has happened in the past six days? I'm so horrible at keeping a journal, I forget to write in it for days on end, but I love you! I do love you, journal. It's nice to get my feelings of my chest, so then I will let out this one thing: When Harry's scar stopped hurting him, we looked into each other's eyes for ages, it was so nice. I love those eyes. There was something else behind them this time, something that made my heart speed up.

When he was looking at me like that, it seemed as if everything faded away. I could still here the fire cracking and smell the candle that smelt like fresh laundry, but I couldn't see anything but Harry.

Sometimes, I think he's all muscle. Once he came down the steps in just a pair of cotton pants hanging so low I thought they might fall off, he didn't notice as I counted the little muscles on his abdomen, feeling stupid seconds after I said the number in my head. Eight. I don't know why that number stuck in my head, why it was so attractive, why it was hard to pull my head away from his bare chest.

Harry is almost always clean shaven, except if you catch him at night; there are bits of stubble forming, almost unnoticeable. And his nose, his adorable nose, always has that teary look. It's always a little red at the tip, as if it'd been running, but I've never heard him so much as sniffle.

His Adam's apple, I don't know why, but the way it juts out, it makes me bite my lip. His hair, his beautiful hair that he still hasn't tamed, has changed. It always looks as if he's stepped from the bath just minutes ago, still damp yet drying. He looks wonderful.

His hands are beautiful, in this manly way. You can always see his veins bulging in a calm way. He always wears this watch Sirius left him. The leather band is so thick on his wrist, it's at least four centimetres thick and black, it has this quality where it's shiny, yet dull in a way.

His teeth, my parents being dentist, I noticed them right away. They're white, shiny white. His incisors stick out a little, they're a little longer then the others, more pronounced. I love that, his perfectly straight teeth with that flair. Gorgeous.

His chin, his cute square yet perfectly rounded chin, and his jaw, his square still yet perfectly rounded jaw; they almost epitomize the perfect man. I can see why the girls chase him, and if James was anywhere near as good looking, I can't see why Lily wouldn't give in. Maybe if Harry was as big-headed as James supposedly was, he wouldn't be as attractive, emotionally. She did give in eventually, didn't she?

I've gone on about Harry as if he's some cute bloke I met on the street. He's really sweet, not really emotional anymore. After Sirius died, he cried a few times but now I hardly see him do anything but laugh and smile and occasionally, when his scar hurts, pain, extreme pain and anger. He's angry sometimes too, but only when someone dies or Voldemort's side wins a battle.

So, that's everything. For now, that's everything. I feel better now, even if my hand is starting to cramp up. I finished a three foot essay before I started writing in here, but I knew I had to add another entry. Well, I meant that's everything about Harry, I'm not done writing yet, even if my hand feels as though it might fall off.

I think Neville fancies Ginny. It's rather cute; I've seen him glancing at her at meals and in the common room. I wonder if Ginny still fancies Harry. She says she doesn't, but I really can't tell if she does or not. Harry's mom had the same hair as Ginny, I wonder if that's a coincidence. Maybe Ginny and Harry are meant to be together, because she has red hair.

Harry said no one is thinking about strange things like marriage, but maybe we are, subconsciously. Ron chasing Susan and Neville possible chasing after Ginny, Lavender after Ron, who to no surprise turned her down the other day. Even the Slytherins have caught the bug, which has no name yet, for I'm not sure if its love or just fancying or some other odd thing. I've seen Pansy chasing after Draco while he chases after Blaise. Out of pure meanness, I want Draco to be stuck with Pansy, but Blaise is the prettier of the two girls, I must admit.

I wonder if we are, subconsciously, chasing after spouses. Maybe our hearts are forcing us into this search for the one. I wonder when Lily and James realized they wanted to spend their lives together. I'm sure James realized before Lily did, as he chased her for ages.

I wonder if someone is chasing after me.