1997.10.01

Entry 6:

I promise to keep you more updated! It's been so long since I've been able to write in here, but I can't help it! Blame it on Harry and Ron keeping me up doing homework and the Head Girl duties, and the slack I have to pick up because Harry is also Quidditch Captain. I don't mind making up for what Harry can't do, he still helps a lot, but he practices a lot also.

Well, October is here, and quidditch season and our Hogsmeade visit. It's not as busy though as I thought it would be being Head Girl. I still get plenty of time to sit in the common room with Ron and Harry.

I'm not quite sure if Harry is back to normal, but he's gone back to sitting beside me and actually greeting me when he comes into my room. He loved that I wore the ribbon he gave me, noticed it as soon as I stepped outside. He still hasn't told me why he gave it to me or what significance it holds, maybe he will.

He did come into my room one night asking about Ginny.

: Harry knocked on the panel and walked in after Hermione shouted from the couch for him to come in. He walked over to the couch, eating another apple.

"Oy, Hermione," he said softly as he fell onto the couch beside her. He watched her as she placed that maroon ribbon in her book, to mark her place. "I was wondering," he swallowed his bite of apple, "does, um, Ginny fancy me still?" he asked nonchalantly.

Hermione was taken back, unsure of why he wanted to know. "Erm," she said still slightly shocked, "don't know, really." She looked up at Harry who took another bite of apple as she spoke. "Why?"

Harry laughed, and Hermione knew that if he'd been Ron bits of apple would have flown from his mouth, but no, the food stayed in his mouth. He chewed up his food, "Just wondering," he said with a cheeky smile. "Who do you fancy?" he asked, shocking Hermione so much she missed the twinge of light pink on his cheeks.

"Oh, you of course," she said jokingly and wrapped her arms around him, "my big soft, famous behind belief, teddy-bear."

She couldn't see Harry bite his lip, "Now, don't go spreading that soft teddy-bear bit around, wouldn't want Voldemort to know that," he laughed as he put his hand on her back. He bit his lip again, which was again missed by Hermione.

"Alright, you big galoot," she said as she slipped her arms from around him, "get to bed, you've got quidditch tomorrow," she said leaning away from him. His hand slipped from her back and landed on her thigh as she looked at him, her body turned towards him from the hug they'd shared.

He smiled, and they looked into each other's eyes again, not breaking contact for minutes. "I, uh," Harry said as he brought his hand up to her jaw. He caressed her jaw softly before standing. "Good night," he said before walking off, glancing back at her before disappearing in the passage. :

I think he may fancy Ginny really. I wonder if she still does fancy him, it's been so long. A lot of time has passed, but if she loved him then I suppose she always will, regardless of how much time passed.

I never thought Harry would fancy her though, not that Ginny's not great; but, no, well, now that I think about it, of course Harry fancying her makes sense. She's brave and fiery and beautiful, I could see Harry with someone like that. I suppose if they fancied each other, it wouldn't be a horrible match, and then maybe Ron wouldn't get angry over her choice of a boyfriend.

Strange though, our fifth year Ginny dated Michael Corner and Dean Thomas and then our sixth year she dated Colin Creevey for the longest time, and over the summer she met a French boy in Diagon Alley. I wonder if she was just trying to find someone who would make up for Harry or she really did move on.

The strange thing, however, is that in our second year when Percy was dating Penelope it was a secret, but relationships now are far from secret. Everyone knows who likes who and who is dating who. Maybe it's not that it was secret before, it was just that we weren't old enough to care about those things. I don't care much either way.

There is one more thing that's been stuck in my head from Harry stopping by. He asked me who I fancied, but who do I fancy? I suppose if things were perfect, Ron and I would get together and Ginny and Harry would get together, but would that really be perfect? Ron and I, I've heard so many whispering that when we walked down the halls alone. I've heard "Oh, they're so cute together" and "I knew they'd end up together" so many times I'm ready to loose my lunch.

Ron is a lot like his dad and I'm a lot like his mum, but that means nothing, nothing at all. So what if he's like his dad, couldn't Susan be just like his mum also? Of course she could be, and she probably is more like his mum. She probably wants a million children also; well, so do I. I always hated being an only child growing up.

I wonder if I'm like Harry's mum at all. We are both muggleborns, but what else do we have in common? We were both Head Girl, other than that nothing. She hated James most of her life.

Wow, I didn't realize that. James and Lily were twenty-one when they died. They were together for four years. Lily hated James for their first six years at Hogwarts. If you look at it that way it's depressing, they knew each other for ten years and most of that time Lily hated James and James' heart was broken. That's sad really, more sad than dieing at twenty-one, almost.

My parents have been married for twenty-two years. They've been married longer than Harry's parents were alive. My mum was twenty-five when she married my dad, that's four years older than Harry's parents were when they died. When you look at numbers like that it's a lot different.

I'd give up one of my parents so Harry could have one of his. I would at any moment, and I love my parents more than anything in the world. They're the greatest parents ever, especially when they found out I was a witch, but for Harry to have one parent, I'd give one of mine up.

I feel selfish saying that. Who am I to give up the life of one of my parents? I know I can't, so maybe that's why I feel I would be able too. If it really came up, would I be able to give up my mother or father so Harry could have one parent?

I think Harry would rather I have both of mine then have to give up one for him to have one. I don't think he'd like it if we made that exchange, a life for a life. It seems so unemotional, uncaring. I suppose he'd be right, me saying these things is a bit unemotional and uncaring towards life. It's not a life for a life really, when you look at it as I do. It's giving up something precious so your friend can understand what it feels like to have the unconditional love of a parent.

I'd give up anything for Harry to be happy, but he is happy. He isn't mourning his parents' death, Cedric's death, Sirius' death, Percy's death. He's mourning no deaths; he's coming to terms with them. So he is happy, I think.