Okay, because I don't want Kadyann to have a heart attack or flaming shoes thrown at me, here's the next chapter!
This chapter is for confused, my crazy muse...
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, Celine Dion's song I'm Your Angel, or the Diamond Rio song You're Gone. I'm just having a very bad day...
Two days later, Bobby stepped out of his black SVU, his dark sunglasses hiding his red rimmed and bloodshot eyes. His dress blues were slightly wrinkled, and the confident stride that his friends and coworkers knew so well was gone, replaced by a slight limp.
He looked around at the hundreds of people, some crying, others trying not to. With a sigh, he touched the chain around his neck that held her wedding and engagement ring close to his heart.
Slamming the door shut, he quickly saw Mike, Carolyn and Deakins, dressed in their dress blues. Carolyn was leaning against Mike, her face hidden in his shoulder, and Mike and Deakins were trying to comfort her.
As soon as they realized Bobby had arrived, Carolyn pulled her face out of her husband's shoulder, wiped at her eyes, then pulled Bobby into a warm embrace.
"I'm so sorry, Bobby. So sorry," she whispered, rubbing his back. Bobby remained silent as each of his coworkers offered their condolences.
I said, "Hello, I think I'm broken"
And though I was only joking
It took me by surprise when you agreed
I was trying to be clever
For the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead
Walking into the funeral home, he slid his sunglasses off of his face and into his breast pocket. In the front of the room, a large picture of Alex smiled at him, and he slowly walked across the room, stopping in front of her picture.
As he gazed at her beautiful, smiling face, everything hit him full force, and his chest tightened.
With a cry of anguish, he fell to his knees and cried, body racking sobs. Vaguely he felt two arms slip around him tentatively, and he cried harder.
"I know, Bobby. I know, Carolyn whispered in his ear, pulling him to her. Together they rocked back and forth, crying over their loss. Deakins and Mike watched in sadness as the small woman comforted the big detective.
You knew all my lines
You knew all my tricks
You knew how to heal that pain
No medicine can fix
Deakins, Mike, Carolyn, Elliot and Olivia watched Bobby stand over Alex's headstone, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
"She was a great woman. I'm sorry," Elliot said softly, wrapping his arm around his wife's waist and leading her away.
Once they were out of earshot, Mike turned to his wife and the captain, saying, "Hon, why don't you go ahead home and take care of the kids? I think I'm gonna take Bobby back to his place and make sure he's alright."
Carolyn nodded tearfully and quickly kissed his cheek before walking away.
Bobby was staring at the headstone, tears blurring his eyes.
Alexandra Goren
1963-2009
Mother, wife, partner and friend
You'll Always Be In Our Hearts, Alex
He felt a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't turn around. "I can't believe she's gone," he mumbled, wiping a lone tear from his cheek. "Could you give me a few minutes, Mike?"
Mike nodded understandingly and walked away. Kneeling down in front of Alex's tombstone, he bowed his head and let the tears fall freely.
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
As he cried, he felt the rain begin to fall, slow at first then harder and harder. Thunder rolled ominously in the distance, and he sobbed her name.
"Alex. Alex!"
A few minutes later, he stood up and raised his face to the sky, allowing the rain to wash away his tears. Glancing at the tombstone one final time, he walked slowly back to his car, where Mike was waiting patiently.
"Let's go," he sad quietly as he climbed into the car. As they drove away from the cemetery, he saw a young blond woman walk away from Alex's grave, and he shook his head.
BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA
In the middle of the night, Bobby cried out and shot upright in his bed, gasping and shivering. "Alex!" A few seconds later, he took a deep breath and sighed.
"Alex, I just had the worst nightmare," he said, reaching across to her side of the bed. With a shudder, he remembered why she wasn't there. With a sob, he fell back and buried his face in her pillow, inhaling her sweet scent that still lingered. Keeping his eyes closed, he wrapped their blankets around himself, surrounding himself with the familiarity of the combination of her perfume and shampoo.
Looking back it's still surprising
I was sinking, you were rising
With a look you caught me in midair
Now I know God has His reasons
But sometimes it's hard to see them
When I awake and find that you're not there
After several hours of tossing and turning, Bobby finally dragged himself out of his bed at six thirty. Taking a quick shower, he grabbed his keys and opened the front door.
You found hope in hopeless
You made crazy sane
You became the missing link
That helped me break my chains
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
And the bad news is you're gone
The bad news is you're gone
Later that night, Bobby stumbled into his apartment building. When he reached his door, he pulled his keys out and jammed it into the doorknob. But as he opened the door, a white envelope taped to the door caught his eye, and he plucked it from the door.
Walking into the apartment, he closed the door and shed his jacket, then plopped down onto the couch. Turning the envelope over in his hands, he frowned at the eerily familiar penmanship that his name was written in.
Opening it slowly, he pulled a piece of paper out and looked at it.
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voice when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference where we are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
"Dear God," he mumbled, searching the paper for a clue as to the author. "It can't be." Suddenly he was angry, and he threw the paper to the ground and stormed back out of the apartment.
The woman watched as the large man lumbered across the parking lot and climbed into the SUV. With a sigh, she brushed her blonde hair out of her face and walked away, her heels clicking against the cold cement as her footsteps faded away.
TBC...
A/N: Who was the woman? Is Bobby going to survive losing Alex?? WHERE IS MY LEFT SHOE???? Now, please review, adn remember: I'm not updating till I get at least... 20 reviews!! MWAHAHAHA!! (ducks flaming shoe) Eeek!