Nightmares (Cordelia's Version)

Disclaimer: See chapter one

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Nobody in their right mind would ever choose to be awake at this time of the morning, all I can think is thank god for make-up, or else this world would be full of ugly people. Not that I'd ever have that problem, mind you.

Speaking of, I was so tired this morning after a night filled with nightmares that I'm positive my make-up is on all wrong, who knows what damage I could've done in my sleep be-fuddled mind this morning.

So I pull out my compact to check my face and ensure its perfect-ness. I'm pretty sure it's good, 'cause I have a rare talent for putting on make-up, but you can never be too careful, and I do have a reputation to up-hold.

Ugh! Have you people no consideration? Just because you walk around looking like the living dead, doesn't mean the rest of us have to as well.

"Hello? Doofus! You're in my light."

I glare at the offending light stealer, before turning my glare on Xander who has obviously decided to get on the 'Annoy Cordelia' bandwagon.

"Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?"

Yeah, about time you figured it out freak-o.

"Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?"

Fortunately for the geeks, the bell rings, signaling the start of class.

Ms. Tishler walks in, and Xander turns into even more of a geek, if that's possible. I roll my eyes at his lame attempts to get her attention and wonder what I did to deserve this living hell?

"Wendell, would you read the first two paragraphs on page seventy-eight where Isaacson describes the rapid improvement active listening brought to some special needs clients" asks Ms. Tishler.

Suddenly the room erupts into screams as tarantulas start crawling out of the book and all over Wendell.

I jump out of my chair and flee out of the classroom. I so did not sign up for this!

I keep telling myself it's a new day…hopefully one not involving hundreds of spiders crawling all over me…but a new day none-the-less.

After another night of nightmares, I'm actually quite relieved to be at school, I'm even happy to see Buffy, 'cause anything that's not a nightmare is good…

So keeping in with my good mood, I decide to be nice to the weird one.

"I hope you studied for the history test."

She looks at me in horror…okay, this is even better than being nice, her expression of terror is like a salve to my tired soul.

"What history test?"

Duh! The one I just told you about moron! Like I'd make these things up, it's not like I don't have anything better to do than chat to you freaks.

"The one we're having in fourth period right now."

"There's a history test? Nobody told me there was a history test! I haven't…I…okay, I will catch up with you guys later."

She runs off in panic and it's all I can do to stop myself from collapsing in hysterical laughter. Oh man, this should happen everyday!

I start after her at a slower pace, I'm not clueless, and I've certainly noticed that she hasn't been to class in like forever, so she probably needs instructions on how to get there, and I so want to be there to see it. Heh!

Naturally, I get there before her because she's been all over the school looking for history class.

I hold the door open for her "You don't know where class is, do you?"

"Uh…"

"Hardly a shocker. You've cut history just about every time we've had it."

"Well, I was there the first day. I think."

"It's in here."

"I haven't been to class, I haven't read any of the assignments, how am I gonna pass the test?"

"Blind luck?"

This is like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.

So okay, the day started off great…what with the whole history test fiasco with Buffy, but since then, it's like I've been walking around in a nightmare world.

Everyday I have this ritual whereby I walk past the band geeks, and they all practically fall over each other to get a second of attention from me. Which of course never happens, like I'd ever even look in their direction. The point is, this is like a ritual, a part of my routine everyday…I walk past them…they pant like dogs…I offer a cutting remark about their chances in hell…and then it all starts again the next day. Except for today, they all just ignored me like I was nothing.

I was so shocked that I actually stopped in my tracks and turned on them, they gave me this irritated look, identical to the one I usually reserve for them, before moving away and laughing loudly about my pathetic-ness.

It's like a Stephen King novel or something.

Pretending like nothing out of the ordinary is happening, I open my locker and glance at the little mirror on the door, it's another ritual of mine, I like to confirm that everything is in place and still looking good at regular intervals.

But this time it's different.

Oh my god! My hair, it's like something from the cavemen days.

Okay, stay calm, this can be fixed.

I consider the options…the first step would be to make it presentable, thereby giving me the opportunity to get out of the school without causing a scene, then get an emergency appointment with Enrique, my hairdresser, he's gay, but I'm okay with it. I'm not one of those people who discriminate against strange behavior and sexual preferences, unless of course their name is Buffy, or they're a geek, or a hobo…or poor.

I grab my comb and try and pull it through my hair, which doesn't work. Oh. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe.

"I don't understand! This can't be happening! I was just at the salon!"

I can feel myself panicking now, and in a desperate attempt to hide my hairdo from hell cover my head with my hands.

"Oh my god!"

Then, as if I wasn't already experiencing a living nightmare, the chess nerds surround me.

I think I'm suffering a stroke.

They grab me and start dragging me into the chess club. Oh god no…please!

"No! What are you doing? Hey, no! You don't understand! I don't wanna go! I'm not even on the chess team! I swear, I'm not!"

They don't listen. I struggle madly to no avail, it's like revenge of the nerds or something equally as horror-full.

"Nohoho!"

I've decided that the best way to survive life in high school is to repress certain memories, which is what I'm doing.

From this day on, yesterday did not exist…

My hair has always been perfect, and I have never seen the inside of the chess club…just so we're clear!