Out of Mind, Out of Sight (Cordelia's Version)

Disclaimer: See chapter one

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Mitch and I are like soul mates, we're perfect together. I do what I want, and he does what I say…like I said, perfect.

"I just love springtime."

I say to Mitch and Harmony as we walk down the halls.

"Me and bright spring fashions!" I continue.

"Spring training" adds Mitch.

"Me at the end of school dance." I say, as if Mitch hadn't already interrupted my monologue.

"The end of school" says Harmony.

"Definitely my favorite time of year."

I giggle out of sheer euphoria. What can I say? It's a really great time of year.

"I am, of course, having my dress specially made. Off the rack gives me hives."

I shiver at the thought.

"Lemme guess…blue, like your eyes!" Mitch laughs at what he believes is his witty yet romantic remark.

I can barely refrain from knocking him senseless…hello? Idiot? If you bothered to look at my eyes sometime instead of my chest, you'd know that they aren't blue!

"My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller." I laugh. So what if he's stupid…stupid does as he's told, which is all I care about.

"You two will look so fine together in the May Queen photo." Says Harmony

"Well, I haven't been elected May Queen yet."

That's me being modest. Also, for once Harmony has hit the ball on the head. Naturally we're gonna look good together – this being my reason for putting up with the 'blue eyes' remark. You've got to work for this title, and that's what I'm doing!

So, we're walking past the library when Buffy barges right out and bumps into Mitch and I find myself praying that he's left with no bruises 'cause then I'm going to have to find another date. Anyway, she drops her bag, scattering the contents all over the floor.

As usual, she's carrying around a couple of those sticks she once attacked me with, some crosses – I can only think she's gone majorly religious and some other stuff only worth mentioning in the 'Weirdness Book of Records'.

"Uhhh! Behold, the weirdness!" I remark sarcastically.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing with this stuff, huh?"

No, I'm wondering how quickly I'm can escape your freaky existence so that I can continue with more important stuff…like me becoming May Queen.

"Wow, I'm not!"

So she tells me anyway, not that I listen or anything, I've accepted that she's weird and that I'll see her from time to time because we attend the same school, I will not however accept any conversation between us, anyone could be watching and…judging.

"Uh, for history class. Mr. Giles has this, like, hobby of collecting stuff…which he lent me…for show and tell. D-did I mention it's for history class?

"She is always hanging with that creepy librarian in that creepy library" Harmony explains for Mitch's benefit as we continue down the hall completely ignoring Buffy and her bag-of-wonders.

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time that she attacked me? At the Bronze? I don't know why this school admits mentals like her."

We continue discussing the weirdness that is Buffy and her band of freaks until we reach my next class.

The topic of discussion today is The Merchant of Venice, which I actually read, which means I can actively participate today for extra marks.

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" Ms. Miller studies the class before continuing "Okay. So talk to me, people. How does what Shylock says here about being a Jew relate to our discussion about the anger of the outcast in society?"

That's my cue.

"Well, how about color me totally self-involved?"

"Care to elaborate?"

"Yeah. With Shylock its whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him. He acts like its justice, him getting a pound of Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, its yicky."

"But Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?"

Willow butts in and answers "Well, everyone looked down on him."

Relate much? Well maybe if you quit butting in to other peoples conversations you wouldn't be treated like such an outcast. It could also help if you avoided Buffy.

So anyway, I continue with my argument "That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of 'my' life, and she's trying to make it about 'her' leg! Like 'my' pain meant nothing."

"Well, Cordelia's raised an interesting point here. Which we'll pursue at a later time."

As everyone files out of class I make my way over to Ms. Miller's desk, still glowing from my brilliant argument and Ms. Millers impressed look.

"Ms. Miller?"

"Good observations today, Cordelia. It's always exciting to know someone's actually done the reading."

"Thanks. Um, I wanna talk to you about my final paper. I'm real unfocused. I have all these thoughts, and I'm pretty sure they all contradict each other."

"Well, I have your outline here, but why don't you stop by tomorrow after school? We'll go over it then."

"That'd be great! Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome. I'll see you then."

"Okay! Bye!"

I start down the hall and catch sight of Harmony.

"Harmony!"

"Hi!"

"They called and said the dress is ready. It's so great! Mitch is gonna die!"

Last night I came up with the perfect campaign, not that I need to mind you 'cause who else could possibly be worthy of the title…but it doesn't hurt.

So I sent the chauffer out to the mall, which was pure luck on my side, 'cause what if it'd been his day off? As it was I still had to wake the lazy moron, but in the end it all worked out perfectly.

I hand out the chocolates smiling and pretending to like these people.

"Now, remember who to vote for, for May Queen! As in me!"

"Thanks."

Yeah, whatever…move along!

Harmony comes over and I excitedly tell her about my brilliant campaign.

"Hi! Isn't this the bomb? I'm such the campaign strategist."

She picks up one of the chocolates and notices the 'C' on the wrapper. " 'C'. For Cordelia?" she asks.

"No, 'C' for Wilma, little brain! Of course, 'C' for Cordelia! This way people will associate me with something sweet!"

I'm so busy explaining the obvious to Harmony, that I don't notice Buffy.

"Here's a chocolate…"

I see that it's her and I quickly snatch my hand back "Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote."

Harmony and I quickly leave the area, incase she attacks us for the chocolate or something.

This is turning out to be the worst day ever. Mitch was attacked by a flying bat or something, he's so messed up…and who am I going to find on such short notice as a new date for the dance?

I'm having a drink at the water fountain considering my possibilities when Harmony comes up.

"Hi!"

"Oh, hi."

"Cordelia, you weren't in fifth period."

Sometimes I wonder what it's like in her little world of 'slowness' must be nice, especially if you're me and faced with the horror of my reality.

"I went to the hospital."

Finally the cogs click in place in her head "Oh, Mitch. How is he? Will he be okay?"

"Well, the doctor says he'll be fine. They're gonna send him home tomorrow. But…you should've seen him lying there. All black and blue? How's he gonna look in our Prom pictures? How am I ever gonna be able to show them to anyone?"

"Well, they can do wonderful things with airbrushes these days." She offers comfortingly.

"You think?" suddenly, things don't seem that bad anymore.

We're walking along the balcony towards the stairs as I contemplate Harmony's rare 'good' thought.

"I just hope they can prop him up long enough to take the picture." I say to her, 'cause if they can't, then we're back to square one.

"Cordelia, can I talk to you?"

It's Buffy, and suddenly I'm thinking the day is as bad as I previously thought. What could she possible want? We have nothing in common…'cause she's like crazy and I'm…not!

"Oh, great."

"Why is she always try…Uff!"

Before Harmony can finish her sentence, she starts tumbling down the stairs.

"Harmony!" I scream.

Principal Scallie comes up "Oh, for heavens sakes! Clear back, everyone! Give her some air!" He points at somebody "You! School nurse, now!"

Harmony is at this point enjoying her 'Center of Attention' status and wangles it for all it's worth. I taught her well!

"Ow! Oh, my ankle! I think it's broken."

"What happened?" asks Buffy.

Duh! She fell down the stairs…you were there!

Principal Snyder glares at Buffy "Hey! Who's the principal here?" he then addresses Harmony "What happened?"

"She fell! She, she, we were standing at the top of the stairs and she just fell! All by herself!" I answer, wanting my bit of the lime-light too, 'cause I was also involved, and it could have just as easily have been me who fell to my death.

"No! I was pushed!"

Snyder bends down and touches her ankle.

"Ow!" she moans like a whiny two year old…I'm really getting annoyed with the theatrics now.

"Don't sue" he pleads.

Well I'm gonna sue if y'all don't stop with the annoyingness soon.