Out of Mind, Out of Sight (Cordelia's Version)

Disclaimer: See chapter one

The dress finally arrived, so I gathered the girls for an evening of 'dress up Cordy' I'm so excited! Also, it takes my mind off all the horrors of the day, with me almost being pushed to my death and all, and then there's the fact that I've had to shower in perfume to mask the smell of 'hospital' that was all over me after I visited Mitch.

"Should I wear my hair up? Do you think I should wear it up?"

There are some nods of 'yes' and some 'no's' so I decide that I wasn't going to listen to their suggestions anyway, I'll ask a professional, like Enrique.

"How does the, um, hem go? Is it, is it long enough, or…Isn't it beautiful?" I finally comment, expecting the chorus's of 'yes' along with an undertone of envy. I love their adoring comments and looks. They know as well as I do that I am Queen, not to mention deserve it after the hell I've been through this year and especially this day alone!

I'm standing in the quad waiting patiently for them to announce the winner, which of course will be me…but it's a school ritual to pretend like there was some sort of competition with a winner and a loser. Everyone knows that I'm a winner, and anyone who comes up against me is a loser.

"The winner is Cordelia Chase!" announces Synder "Let's bring up our new May Queen."

Everyone begins to applaud as I make my way up to the podium.

"Thank you for making the right choice, and for showing me how much you all love me. Being this popular is not just my right, but my responsibility, and I want you to know I take it very seriously. It all began when…"

I give my well rehearsed speech to the adoring crowd, whilst thinking of all the doors this crown will open for me.

"Ask not what your school can do for you, ask: 'Hey! What am I wearing to the Spring Fling?'"

My speech is a work of art, and the results are as I expected…the crowd stare up at me adoringly. I smile back at them.

This school is so lame, I can't believe they made me go back to classes after receiving my crown. There should be a rule against this or something.

Fortunately school is over for the day, and in a few minutes I'll be cruising outta here to go and bask in my glory at home, and then later at the Bronze.

First, I have a meeting with Ms. Miller, I knock on the door and enter. I'm surprised that she didn't say 'come in' or something…oh hey, maybe it's like a surprise party for me?

The first thing I see is Ms. Miller slumped over the desk. I don't get it? Where are the streamers and screaming fans?

"Ms. Miller?"

Suddenly everything clicks in my head, there's no party. Oh and my teachers dead.

I'm like one of those red cross people in heart and spirit, so when I see her slumped there I forget my own problems and rush over to help.

"Oh, my God! Ms. Miller!"

I struggle to lift her, what with her dead weight and all.

"Oh, my God!"

I pull the plastic bag off of her head, what the hell was she doing putting her head in plastics bags anyway?

"Are you okay?"

I almost fall over in fright when she draws a sudden deep breath and begins coughing.

"Ms. Miller, what happened?"

"Attacked. Didn't see."

I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge, what if the attacker is still around? Why couldn't they go all psycho-attacking-people on another day, a day when I haven't just been crowned May Queen?

I hear the sound of chalk on the chalkboard, both of us turn around quickly to see the word 'listen' appear on the board.

That's it. I let go of Ms. Miller and flee out of the room. People are after me, and I need serious protection.

I run straight for the library of weird, and what's the first thing I hear when I enter? My name, that's what. Sheez, these people are like obsessed with me or something, they probably even have a stalker club going in here.

"What?"

They all look at me in surprise, so I take this opportunity to spit out my words of reconciliation that I thought up on the way here.

"I knew you'd be here. Buffy, I, uh, I, I know we've had our differences, with you being so weird and all, and hanging out with these total losers…Ooh!" Okay, this is harder than I thought, so I bite back my sarcasm and continue with the nice "Well, anyway, despite all of that, I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep down…"

"Nausea?" asks Willow.

Exactly! I think to myself, but now is not the time. So I forgo the reconciliation, 'cause I just can't bring myself to be nice to her and continue with the reason I'm here, in the library, with them.

"Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony! This is all about me! Me, me, me!"

"Wow! For once she's right!"

Of course I'm right geek-boy!

"So you've come to me for help."

I nod at her. I'm not stupid, I know that she's involved with fighting and stuff, therefore this is so her area of expertise.

"Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons…I was kind of hoping you were in a gang." They all look at me like I'm the crazy person. "Please! I don't have anyone else to turn to!"

That is the limit of my begging, so I hope they go for it otherwise I'm in trouble.

"Please. Sit down."

The librarian offers me a chair, at least someone has manners around here.

"Okay. Thanks."

"You know, I…I don't recall ever seeing you here before."

Oh, eew…like I'd ever, and just so we're clear, the only reason I'm here now is because it's a life and death situation.

"Oh, no, I have a life." I explain to Mr. Giles.

"Okay. Cordelia, your attacker is an invisible girl" says Buffy.

Whatever! I knew she'd be involved in this weirdness somehow.

"Who is really, really angry at you, which I…can't imagine personally, but it…takes all kinds, y'know?"

I'm not so sure coming here was such a good idea afterall, 'cause Xander is talking to me again. Maybe I should've sent an email?

"Well, I don't care what it is, just get rid of it!" I demand.

"Well, it's not that simple, it's a person, it's…" she shows me a yearbook "it's this person. Now, do you have any idea why she'd be so…"

Ugh! "Oh, God! Is she really wearing Laura Ashley?"

"…so homicidal?"

"I have no idea! I've never seen this girl before in my life!"

I then continue to tell them about the rest of the attack, and the chalkboard.

"According to what you told us about the attack on Ms. Miller, we now have two messages from Marcie: 'look' and 'listen'."

I sort of tune out, the librarian has a way with rambling.

"Messages we don't understand" says Willow.

"I don't think we're supposed to…yet. Marcie's not quite ready. But from what she did to Cordelia's picture, I would say that she's wigged on the whole May Queen thing. Maybe she's gonna do something about it."

Suddenly I'm listening again when Buffy mentions 'May Queen'.

"Stop the coronation tonight, maybe. Keep you guys away from the Bronze?"

Hey nerd-girl, just 'cause you'll never experience your own coronation doesn't mean you get to cancel it for the rest of us!

"Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight!"

"Uh, can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities?" Snarks Xander, king of all who are lame.

"If I'm not crowned tonight then, then Marcie's won! And that would be bad. She's evil, okay? Way eviler than me."

"Cordelia has a point."

"Buffy's with me on this."

"Anyway, continuing the normal May Queen activities may be the best way to draw Marcie out. We can use Cordelia as bait."

"Great!" hey what? "Bait?"

"Willow, Xander, you'll help me begin our research anew. Unless we find a way to cure Marcie's invisibility, then Buffy will be…"

"…a sitting duck" finishes Buffy.

"C'mon" she says to me, getting up from her chair.

"Well, I have to try on my dress. And am I really bait?"

We both walk down the deserted school hall, and I try to make conversation 'cause I find myself in a very uncomfortable situation, hanging out with Buffy and all.

"So, how much the creepy is it that this Marcie's been at this for months? Spying on us? Learning our most guarded secrets? So, are you saying she's invisible because she's so unpopular?"

"That about sums it up."

"Bummer for her. It's awful to feel that lonely."

"Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling?"

That was totally uncalled for, what have I ever done to her to deserve that discriminating remark?

"Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say."

"Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?"

"Well, it beats being alone all by yourself."

I continue down the hall, full of my own pain.