Dearest Readers,

Thank you for sticking with this story! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! It does hit on some heavy themes, so be warned for a darker twist on things in this chapter. It definitely sets things up for chapters to come!

XOXO Ally Layne.

Bad Moon Rising

Chapter 22: I Show My Vulnerable Side

I wasn't sure how long I had been laying down in the kitchen.

I know that at one point hours or days or minutes before I had tried to go up the stairs to my bedroom where I could ride this out surrounded by blankets and laying comfortably on my bed.

But that obviously didn't happen considering I was currently laying in the fetal position on the floor of the kitchen, just in front of the sink. I had grabbed the hand towel from the counter so I had something to hold on to- something to hold tightly to myself, but I could feel the sting of my fingernails digging into my palms through the fabric.

My hands were trembling, as was the rest of my body. I was very cold, as if I had just taken a plunge in icy waters and had climbed out only to feel like I would never be warm again. I couldn't hear, couldn't breathe, couldn't think-

No, that was wrong.

I could think.

But my mind kept going back to the thought of my twin brother, Percy, being stuck in the Roman camp for demigods without his friends, his family, his Annabeth, and me.

He was all alone and didn't have his memories.

So, even though thinking was one of the few things I could do, that was the last thing I wanted. I kept seeing all the ways which the Romans, who Annabeth said were regimented and would murder any outsiders, would hurt Percy.

I know why I couldn't feel my bond with him when I went into the water to search for him. I know why I felt so weak all the time, like I was missing the other half to my whole.

He didn't remember me.

How could he forget me?

Tears fell from my eyes in torrential downpour, dripping even into my ear as I slowly moved to my back to look up at the ceiling.

How dare the gods take my brother from me? This was only the work of a god. No human or even any demigod could do what they did to my brother.

How dare they take him from me.

I wanted to rage.

I wanted to fight.

But if I were to move any more than I just did, I would have nothing left inside. It was like all the energy I had was seeping through my pores and evaporating into the world around me. I was sure I would turn into seafoam if I wasn't able to get a grip on my reality, and I would slowly fade into the sea where I came from.

My mom always said I came from the sea.

She said the same thing about Percy.

Through my pain and rage, I couldn't help but wonder why the gods chose Percy. Why did they choose him instead of me? They could have taken me. I was only five feet from him, not that it helped anything.

But why would the gods take Percy over me? Why did they decide that Percy would be the one to go to this new camp, to be brought there with no memories, and expect that he would still be able to do something substantial?

We both were a part of the first prophecy.

I had brought down armadas and troops from Kronos's army. I wasn't weak, or useless.

Why did the gods offer Percy immortality, but not me? Why was he deemed the Savior of Olympus, instead of me?

All I was given was a small reward of money, and sent on my way. Our birth father obviously preferred Percy over myself. He was willing to give him immortality to be able to be with him forever. But he didn't want me.

A part of me realized that the gods favored Percy over everyone else. Of course they would take him to fulfill some dumb quest and prophecy, and force him to be the one to bring the camps together.

Another part of me realized that if I had been the one who was taken, our camp wouldn't be exhausting all of our resources to try to find me. Of course, Percy would've gone AWOL, but he would have had Annabeth.

Those thoughts only made me feel so much more alone.

This was the reason why I was the one who was left behind.

I was meant to be the one to help find the chosen one, instead of being chosen myself.

I was always going to be the one who supported my brother, and I was never going to be the one who would be supported. I was meant to live my life in making sure Percy was okay, and that he was always safe and guarded and on the right track.

I was never meant to be a leader.

I was always supposed to be a follower.

Why did such a fate sting so horribly? Why did I feel betrayed by the three fates, who had somehow woven this destiny of mine?

I didn't hear the door being slammed open.

I didn't hear the footsteps running into the kitchen, or the voices calling my name in desperation.

The first time I realized I wasn't alone in the kitchen was when two hands gripped the side of my face, gently turning my head so I could look right into two brown eyes.

Jake.

His eyes were like dark chocolate, sprinkled with caramel. They were enchanting.

"Andie, sweetheart, please tell me what's going on."

He sounded worried.

Why was he worried?

Another hand gripped my leg. But didn't Jake only have two hands?

I looked down, and saw Paul kneeling there. His eyebrows were furrowed with a neat crinkle between them, and his lips were moving but I couldn't make out the words that were coming out.

I was so lost.

Jake rubbed his thumbs along my cheeks, wiping away my tears with a look of intense concentration. "Whatever happened, sweetheart, you're gonna be okay. You got that? I'm here, Paul's here, you're not alone. You're gonna be fine."

His words, his voice, it made the quiet stop being so loud. My thoughts started to dwindle down, and I was starting to be able to get a hold of my mind, to control my body so I wouldn't turn into seafoam if I tried to move my mouth, my lips-

"Jake?"

His eyes flickered back to my own. "Andie?" A small, pained smile took over the overwrought worry on his face. "You with me?"

I blinked again, and felt the control slowly start to slip back into my body, starting from my fingers and toes, going inward. I let out a sigh. "Yeah, I'm with you."

His smile eased, and he slowly took me into his arms, running a hand through my hair with a long, drawn out breath. "Thank God, I thought… I don't really know what I thought."

Paul snorted, and fell back into the cabinets behind him. "I thought you were dead for a split second there when I saw you on the ground, Guppy. Then I remembered I could hear your heartbeat."

Jake nuzzled my hair for a breath, then pulled away to look me in the eyes. "Yeah, I think that's where my mind went, too."

I leaned into him. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't be sorry," he insisted, continuing to run his fingers through my hair in a soothing motion. "I was just worried, you upped and disappeared after that phone call. It scared me, sweetheart. I didn't know if you were okay."

I felt my breath hitch as tears started to swell in my eyes all over again. "If I went missing, would you look for me?"

Jake froze, before pulling away slightly to be able to look me in the eyes. I could tell he was clearly shocked, and soon the shock dissipated and turned into something earnest. "I would tear the world apart to find you, if you were gone. Nothing would stop me, Andie."

Paul patted my leg from where he was still sitting. "The entire pack would look for you, Gup. I'm pretty sure you've smuggled your way into all of our hearts so now there's no escaping us."

I didn't know what to say.

For some reason, I whole-heartedly believed them. I knew that if I were to disappear like my brother did, that they would look for me, and never stop until they found me.

How did I know that?

How could I be so sure?

Was I just… easily swayed by people who have only known for such a short time? Why was it that I felt this way with them when I couldn't even be sure about those I spent so much of my life with already at camp?

Jake tilted his head slightly, as though he were trying to read the words I wasn't speaking. "Where is this coming from?"

I shook my head. "It's… It's nothing. I'm just tired."

He seemed to take that as an opening and quickly scooped me up into his arms, and stood up to his full height. I may or may not have squeaked in shock, but no one will ever know.

At least, no one besides the three of us, but even then I doubt they paid too much attention.

"Did you just squeal like a pig?"

Okay, maybe Paul paid attention.

"Yep, she did."

And Jake.

But I was certainly going to forget that happened.

"I'm going to bring you to bed, okay, sweetheart? I think you'll be more comfortable there," Jake spoke to me, leaning his head down to speak softly in my ear.

I nodded and leaned in even closer to him, which was nearly physically impossible.

"I'll go make us some coffee and make sure you get something to drink, Guppy," Paul said from behind Jake's large frame.

"Don't give her any coffee," Jake warned, looking back over his shoulder briefly at our friend. "She doesn't like the taste-"

"And because it makes her ADHD even worse?" Paul offiered, then let out another snort. "Dude, I live with her. Which is why I'm making her favorite, that's not a can of coke."

I felt my insides warm at his mere hint. "Hot Chocolate?"

"Obviously," Paul commented. "I'm not an idiot."

"He has me fooled," Jake muttered.

That made me smile.

"Oi, I heard that, asshole!"

Jake's chest shook with his laughter. "That was the point."

Being brought upstairs was a blur. The next thing I knew I was wrapped up in Jake's arms in my bed as he leaned against the headboard while I leaned against his chest.

"Is this okay, sweetheart?"

I could tell Jake was reluctant to let me go, but was also completely willing to do just that if I didn't feel comfortable with him where he was. Which somehow made me feel even better. "This is great," I admitted, before snuggling into him, laying my ear against his heart, and slowly lulled myself into security with the steady beating beneath me. "I'm sorry I had a complete meltdown. You weren't meant to see this."

His arms tightened ever so slightly. "I am glad you don't have to be alone when you feel like this," he admitted. "If you want us to leave, we will, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to lean on, too."

I let out a long sigh. "It just came on so fast."

One of his hands started to play with a strand of my hair before he seemed to get the courage to ask, "Was it a panic attack?"

"I think that's what it was," I admitted with a half-hearted shrug. "I'm not sure exactly why this happens to me or what it actually is, but I think it's a panic attack."

"Does this happen often?"I had to admit I was impressed at how well he was keeping his voice light and airy, as if to avoid setting me off again.

I shrugged again. "It's been a thing since I was 13 and had to hold up the sky. After that, I kept remembering the pain I felt… and I would slip into a place where I couldn't control my thoughts or fears and my body wasn't really my body anymore. I don't know."

He let out a soft hum, and I could feel the vibrations through his chest. "I used to get that way after my mom died. It was a car accident, and whenever I would get into the car I couldn't control myself."

I looked up at him curiously. "You work on cars, though."

He nodded absentmindedly, still playing my strand of hair. "Yeah, I do. My dad decided to have me learn more about cars instead of letting me live like that for the rest of my life. I think I got my control back from being able to fix the cars up and knowing exactly what they're capable of. It's very grounding."

"Do you ever get like this anymore?"

He shook his head. "I have nightmares, yeah, but I haven't had a full panic attack in years. I think I was in middle school when I had my last one. Yeah, I had just turned twelve."

I slowly felt myself come to grips with this new side of Jacob Black that I had never seen before. "How… uh, how old were you when your mom died?"

His eyes became sad. "I was seven. My sisters were a lot older, so it was very different for them. I still remember the way she used to sing while making dinner, and how she would always give me a hug and kiss on the cheek before I left for school. She loved my dad, and my dad loved her. It was… it was a great way to grow up. And then she died," his voice choked ever so slightly, but he let out a cough before continuing, "There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss my mom. But I know she'll always be with me."

A large piece of the wall that I had painstakingly built between myself and whatever feelings I might have for this boy holding me in his arms slowly fell away at his words.

Before I could ask anything else, the door to the room slowly opened, and Paul walked in holding two mugs. I could smell the strong scent of coffee along with the underlying tone of chocolate that made my mouth water.

"I come bearing gifts," he said, holding out one of the mugs to me. I felt a small smile across my face as I took hold of the warm mug, and let the smell of chocolate soothe over my mental cracked edges.

"I should've known that chocolate would be the way to your heart," Jake mumbled. "You seem like you're going to start making love with the cup as we sit here."

I rolled my eyes. "It sounds like you just want a show, Black."

Paul snickered before taking a sip from his coffee. "She's going to be just fine."

"If you want me to spray you with your scalding coffee, keep laughing, La Hottie."

Jake sighed. "I don't think I'll ever understand the two of you when you're like this."

I looked over my shoulder to give him the stink eye. "I think you're just jealous. Don't worry, it will pass."

Jake gave Paul a look. "Yes, I think she's definitely going to be just fine."

"She's already telling us off."

"And trying to tell me that I'm jealous, which is not true at all."

"I actually think she might be right with that one-"

"Shut up."

I took a few more sips of the hot chocolate, letting the two bicker amongst each other and cheer up the overall atmosphere of the place. It was amazing what a good cup of hot chocolate and some good friends could do for a person's mood.

"Before this, I heard news about the… Harry Clearwater situation," Paul told Jake, his tone taking a different shift. "When I shifted to come here, I heard from Jared that he had a heart attack and passed away, man. And it turns out we're going to have two more additions to our pack."

Jake stiffened. "Harry… yeah, my dad told me… but two more additions?"

Paul gave him a pointed look. "Yeah. Two."

"Shit."

"Harry, he was your dad's friend, right?" I asked, looking at Jake worriedly. "Do you need to go be with him?"

Jake shook his head, and pulled me closer. "My dad will be fine. I'll go see him later, but I'm where I need to be right now. He knows that."

I felt a faint tug at my heart, and let myself fall back at ease with the steady beats of his heart.

Paul coughed a few times however long later, catching my attention from wherever it had wandered. "So, uh, you don't have to tell us anything, but I just want you to know, as your friend, that if you need to talk about it, just know that we're both here to listen."

I slowly eased the mug down from my lips before letting out another sigh. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about my thoughts… I just wanted to forget that I ever felt that way. I loved my friends at camp.

They would look for me if I ever went missing.

Percy would look for me.

I knew that.

I was valued, and I was cared for. I wasn't less important than my brother.

I knew that.

So why did those thoughts keep eating at me?

I felt one of Jake's hands slowly rub my back, up and down my spine. "Where did you just go, sweetheart?"

"Nowhere," I said quickly, before easing myself back into his arms. "I didn't go anywhere."

He let out another hum. "You seemed deep in thought."

I shrugged. "Happens from time to time when you have a brain to think with."

"Ah, so Paul wouldn't be able to understand."

"Exactly."

Paul, who had been taking another sip of his coffee, sputtered at our words. "What the hell, Guppy? Is this what happens when I try to be nice?"

I pursed my lips, and took another moment before answering. He wasn't completely wrong, I was kind of being an ass when he wasn't doing anything to deserve it.

Although it is fun to make fun of Paul, he was doing his best to be genuine so it wasn't exactly the right time.

Sigh.

I guess it's time to get vulnerable.

I nearly shuddered at the thought. But hey, they had just seen me sobbing like a baby on the floor of the kitchen, so I think this wouldn't be the worst thing I've done in front of them.

"I got a call from my friend Annabeth," I started, gripping the mug in my hands tightly as I fought to phrase my words. "She's also Percy's girlfriend. And the person they found in the Grand Canyon, Jason- that's his name, ended up figuring out who he was. He came from a completely different camp of demigods. Roman demigods."

Jake stiffened. "Not Greek?"

Paul looked curious, too. "I thought you said you were part Greek god, or something."

"That's the thing," I said. "We are Greek demigods. And Jason confirmed that there's a camp of Roman demigods, children of the Roman gods and goddesses, that are out there and we are pretty sure that my brother is at that camp as we speak."

"So your brother is at this Roman camp? And the Roman demigod named Jason is at the Greek camp?" Paul tried to sum up. "Holy parent trap."

I felt a familiar burning at my tear ducts, which made me look upward to try to avoid the tears from falling. "The worst part is that Jason didn't have any memories of his life previous until something happened on the quest or whatever. Which means that Percy is likely with the Roman camp right now and has no clue who he is, let alone that he has a sister."

At the last words, tears started to fall from my eyes again, and I absentmindedly wondered how much a person would cry before they shriveled up like a raisin and died.

Jake's arms tightened around me, and he gently took the mug from my hands and quickly put it on the side table before pulling me even closer.

"I think I know why I couldn't feel him when I searched," I admitted, rubbing the tears from my cheeks with a fist. "It was because he couldn't remember me. He didn't know me to be able to feel the pull of our bond."

"You're talking about this freaky twin bond thing that the two of you have?" Paul asked, trying to make sense of my words. "How does that work exactly?"

I sniffled, rubbing my palms furiously beneath my eyes, becoming annoyed at the sheer amount of crying I had been doing in the past few hours. Jake quickly pulled my hand away from my face and replaced it with his own, and gently swept the tears away as they fell. "I can feel his emotions and stuff when they're strong, or when he tries to project. It becomes stronger when we're in the water. We can hear each other's thoughts in the water if we try hard enough."

Jake paused in his ministrations. "You can hear each other's thoughts?"

I nodded. "It is something we have to try to do, it doesn't just happen automatically unless our emotions are going wild for some reason."

"Huh," he voiced. "That's pretty cool, actually. You can't hear anyone else's thoughts, though?"

I shook my head. "It's only because of the bond we have as twins. It's not like we have mind reading as another power or whatever."

"That's good," Jake spoke quietly. "I'm pretty sure you don't need to be hearing any of our thoughts on a regular basis."

Paul snorted. "I for one am glad you don't have to witness me reliving all the girls I've banged-"

"Dear gods, Paul, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I gasped out, looking over at him in shock. "I'm just trying to be open here-"

"Hopefully not too open." He winked.

"That's it," I decided with a glare in his direction. "I'm gonna drown you."

Paul froze slightly at those words, before looking back at me with another easy-going smile. "You wouldn't. Who else would bring you hot chocolate in bed, hm?"

I shrugged. "I'm sure I could think of something."

"So, you were telling us about your twin bond," Jake spoke, bringing us back to the conversation. He found another strand of my hair and was looping it through his fingers, which made whatever chilled retort I had for him stop on my tongue. "And this Roman camp for demigods. Do you know where it is?"

I sighed. "It's somewhere in California, I guess."

"You guess?" Paul asked.

"These camps are pretty secure, you know," I explained. "People don't know where they are because they're disguised by the Mist."

"Which you've used to downplay your beauty, I've noticed," Paul added. "Does this mean that you don't know where the camp is?"

"Jason knows, so Annabeth knows. But apparently Romans and Greeks have not always gotten along, and we're very different… which means things could get ugly if we march in there and demand they give us Percy back," I said. "We're coming up with a plan to go there, and try to be as peaceful as possible."

Jake's hand stopped doing the loops with my hair. "You mean there could be a fight?"

Now, Paul was definitely intrigued. His head perked up slightly as he repeated, "A fight?"

I rolled my eyes. "Down, boys. It could end up in a fight, but the plan is to avoid that from happening, which Annabeth is attempting to figure out how to do, I guess. I mean, she's the right person for it, being the daughter of Athena."

"Huh," Jake voiced. "All of this sounds pretty risky."

"Which is why I've been told not to leave here, and to wait for whatever Annabeth says to do," I admitted. "I think I've always been pretty quick to anger which could cause some problems."

Paul let out a wolfish laugh. "Oh, you got that right. You have quite the temper when provoked."

"And you just love to provoke me," I pointed out. "But anyway, it means that I'm pretty much in limbo here. We know where Percy is, but we need to wait before we can get him."

"You'll be going with?" Jake asked, his voice soft and full of trepidation. "So… you're gonna be leaving here?"

I let out a sigh. "That was always the plan, you know. For my stay here to be temporary."

Paul rubbed his neck. "It's one thing to know that and a whole other thing to hear you admit it, Guppy."

"I'm just tired of feeling like I'm not useful, you know?" I asked, before leaning into Jake's embrace as he pulled me in closer. "As a demigod, at least. Percy has always been… at the center of everything, and I suppose I feel like I'm not needed. Which only goes to show how right those feelings are when the gods take Percy instead of me."

"So you're upset that you weren't the one taken from your bed and had your memories wiped?" Paul asked, raising his brows.

"It sounds stupid when you say it like that, but… I don't know, I think I'm just tired and not thinking right," I said, disregarding the thoughts that kept threatening to swallow me whole. "Of course I'm… I am glad I didn't have to go through that, but I suppose it only shows that I'm not useful. It's becoming clear that the gods moved the leaders of the two camps, and it was Percy, not me, who was chosen for this."

"So you're upset that you're not the one your gods think is the strongest and the one everyone listens to?" Paul summed up once more. "That's the problem?"

I felt anger start to simmer in my veins. "Fine, Paul. You're right. I'm pissed off that I'm disregarded, looked over, and only seen as a sidekick to my brother. I'm just as powerful, you know. My powers are just as strong as his. I'm not weak, and I'm tired of being treated as the second best."

His eyes lightened. "Now, we're getting somewhere."

I let out a low, cold laugh. "And you want to know what's really terrifying? Is that Luke thought the same thing. He was tired of being overlooked by the gods, which is one of the things that led him to joining Kronos and trying to take over the world."

"Luke is your ex, right?" Jake asked softly. "The one who…"

"Who stabbed himself?" I asked darkly. "Yeah. He did. And I'm terrified that in the end of it all I'm going to end up a villain like him."

"Andie, look at me," Jake demanded, and I slowly turned to look at him, and saw a fierceness in his eyes that nearly took my breath away. I also saw how much he cared and how just protective he was feeling. It was overwhelming. "You have done so much good, sweetheart. You have taken over La Push with your snarky attitude and big heart, and have decided to protect us just because you care about us. You are so good, Andie. Don't sell yourself short."

I felt another chunk of that barrier between the two of us start to disappear. "That… uh, thank you."

His eyes softened, and a small smile crossed his features. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it, you know. I'm not just trying to make you feel better."

"Well, you made me feel better either way."

He smiled even wider. "Good."

Then, snapping from whatever moment we were having, he quickly looked over my shoulder at Paul. The two started their bickering routine, which in some odd way was comforting.

I leaned into Jake as I thought about his words.

I didn't have to hide from myself anymore. I was safe here. If I was as good as Jake thought I was, I think I might have a chance.

With that as my last thought, I fell asleep in Jake's comfortable arms with a smile on my face.

Yeah, I was going to be just fine.