Prophecy Girl (Cordelia's Version)

Disclaimer: See chapter one

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I'm sooooo over Mitch, I think it was the conversation he had with my chest, yup, apparently my breasts are named 'Cord' and 'Elia'. Besides, he's boring, I need someone who I can have an intellectual conversation with, also, he needs to look good on my arm. That's why I'm dating Kevin.

So we're at the park, and okay, so we're not actually having a conversation…but I'm sure we'll get around to it a little later, for the moment the smoochies are too good.

Hey, did someone just grunt?

"What was that? I ask, breaking off the kiss. I needed to take a breath anyway.

"What was what?" asks Kevin, obviously more interested in the kissing than the grunting I just heard.

Was that a growl?

"Someone's out there." Or possibly even a wild animal, either way I'm not too sure if I'm comfortable here anymore.

"That's silly! Who would be out there?"

All of a sudden everything begins to shake and I realize that it's an earthquake, luckily we're nowhere near anything that can fall on us…unless the trees do…oh…oh…what if the ground opens up and swallows me?

Uhhh! What's that alarm sounding thing?

Oh, okay, it's just the car alarm. But still…does it have to be so shrill?

Everything has to be perfect for the dance, which is another reason for me dating Kevin, he's really handy with the heavy lifting and the taking of orders. I love it!

"I'll get everything tonight after practice. The guys'll help me."

He's so sweet!

"Well, it's all in the A-V room. The sound system, and the decorations…And, oh, Aura needs help, um, moving the coolers."

"Don't sweat it!"

"Well, bring everything to the Bronze, and I'll meet you there in the morning!"

"Done!"

I giggle with pleasure, he's so perfect for me!

"You're so sweet! Why're you so sweet?"

"I dunno! 'Cause I'm usually mean as a snake!"

I give him one of my award winning smiles, then I spot Willow.

"Willow!"

I turn back to Kevin "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay."

Hmm…I catch myself day dreaming about him on my arm at the dance…oh right Willow.

Seeing as I'm about to ask a favor, I'd better sugar her up a little "Willow! I really like your outfit!"

Eugh! That was really hard to get out with a straight face.

"No, you don't."

Well she's got me there, 'cause I really don't.

"No, I really don't, but I need a favor."

"What kind?"

"Well, the Bronze won't let us use their sound system, and I need someone who knows how to hook one up. If you could just show up tomorrow morning…"

I can see I'm loosing her attention, since when does she have the right to act like she's someone that can do that?

But I really do need her help, so I cut off my scathing comment by almost biting my tongue off and try and think of something to offer her in return.

Ooh, I know…the same thing every geek in this school would kill for…

"I'd be really, really grateful! I mean, I'd talk to you at the dance and everything."

Wow, that was even harder to get out than the 'nice outfit' comment. Still, she doesn't seem overly excited by the offer…maybe she's still in shock from the whole earthquake thing last night!

"Sure."

"Great! Tomorrow at ten?"

"Sure."

I'm actually surprised, I was sure Willow hadn't registered a word I'd said yesterday, and yet here she is, not that it actually matters 'cause 'sweet Kevin' obviously didn't listen to anything I'd said.

"Oh, Kevin said that he'd bring everything to the Bronze last night. He promised! We'll never get everything ready in time."

"He probably forgot. It's not that big a deal."

"Uh, you don't understand. I'm not mad! He totally flaked on me. On me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute! Oh…"

Who would have thought that his 'not listening to me' would be sexier than his 'listening to me'?

We reach the Audio-Visual room and I can see Kevin and his friends through the windows.

"There they are! They're watching cartoons. That's so cu…" hang-on, he blew me off for cartoons? Who the hell does he think he is? "That's not cute. That's annoying. I'm annoyed."

"Right. I'm furious" agrees Willow.

"Men. I don't know why we put up with them."

"I hear ya."

Still got that love triangle thing going on huh! That's got to be crappy, fortunately, I've never been in that position…usually I'm the one not returning the warm fuzzy feelings for them.

But, then again, I'm cute, popular and not a geek! I also don't spend all my free time in that library with the British guy who always wears tweed. Which is yicky enough, but the guy doesn't even iron them, like yesterday…I swear it looked liked he'd slept in them. Anyway, back to the problem at hand.

"Obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy stare."

I open the door to the A-V room and Kevin's body falls out into the hall.

I think I'm screaming again. This is starting to become a habit.

"Oh, my God! Kevin!" I kneel next to him, hoping that he's still alive, but knowing in my gut that he's not. Also, he's very pale and stiff, so that kinda clues me in to the fact that he's probably not alive anymore. "No!"

"Kevin!"

This is not fair! Why do these things always happen to me? He was my soul-mate, my one true love!

I hate this school; everyone is always dying in it, or going invisible and psycho…

This thing with Kevin has got me re-evaluating my life…and this town, 'cause I've tried to suppress the memories but it's not working and I know that there is something wrong with this place.

Right now, all my friends are dancing it up at the Bronze, which is wrong. How can they act like it's a normal day?

As May Queen, I should also be there, but right now I couldn't care less. Suddenly all those things seem so trivial and empty.

Daddy doesn't understand, he offered me a shopping trip in Paris to 'take my mind off this silly business'. That's why I'm not at the Spring Fling or at home, and with no where else to go, I'm forced to drive around town and eventually end up at the park, where Kevin and I used to hang out, which is how I happened to notice the hoard of ugly people heading towards the school and in their path is Ms. Calendar and Willow.

I don't hesitate, I know something is up, and I also know that there's just way too many people with ridges on their brows for it to be a disease, there's definitely something else going on here…I'm not entirely sure what though.

Anyway, as I said, I don't hesitate, I drive at full speed into the parking lot and screech to a halt beside Ms. Calendar and Willow.

"Get in!" I shout at them.

I have to say that I'm a little confused as to why Ms. Calendar is involved in this weirdness, 'cause she always seemed so normal to me. Oh well, who am I to judge, because right now I'm also in the middle of all this weirdness.

They both jump into the car and in my hysterical state instead of driving out of there immediately, I find myself explaining to them how I ended up here…saving their butts.

"I was sitting where Kevin and I used to park, and all of a sudden these things are coming at me!"

We all scream as one of the ugly things jumps on top of the car…and yet I'm still not driving out of there, like I said, I'm hysterical.

"What do we do now?" shouts Ms. Calendar.

"We've gotta get to the library!" replies Willow.

Whatever gets us away from these freako's "library! Great!"

I burn rubber as I make a fast U-turn, throwing the ugly guy off of the roof of my car and head towards the school building.

"Of course, we generally walk there" squeaks Willow.

I crash through the building doors and go peeling into the halls of the school. I then crash through the second set of doors and skid to the front of the library, and my drivers-ed teacher told me that I would never learn to do an emergency stop!

We scramble out of the car screaming as we run into the library. In any other school I'd think it strange that we're running into a library for safety from bumpy people. But not in this school, nuh-uh! In fact, I'm thinking in this school, it's probably the safest place.

"What's happening?" asks the librarian as we lean against the door to keep the ugly people out.

"Guess!" Ms. Calendar shouts at him.

One of the weird guys punches through the small round window on the door as Mr. Giles grabs a bookcase and carries it over to use as a barricade. He then goes back and grabs the copier and pulls it over too.

"Why are they coming here!" He questions.

Yeah, don't know the answer to that one buddy, maybe they know this is the local hang-out for weirdo's, and being weirdo's themselves thought 'hey, let's go drink some tea with the librarian!'

Nobody answers him, they're obviously all thinking the same thing I am, so we continue carrying furniture to the door.

"They're coming in through the stacks!" he points, indicating the bumpy men.

"C'mon!" shouts Ms. Calendar to Willow. They both run towards the back of the library, leaving me and library man to hold the fort at the front.

"The bookshelves" shouts Ms. Calendar. They lift one of the bookcases against the French doors that lead to the stacks and lean against it.

Mr. Giles remembers his office and runs to go and secure it and all of a sudden I'm alone.

One of the freaky men take advantage of the opportunity and punches through the remaining window, grabbing hold of my arm.

"Somebody help!" I scream in fright.

Nobody comes to my aid, so I decide to take matters in my own hand and start hitting its arm, when that doesn't work, I bite it.

"See how you like it!"

Oh yeah, I remember when you freaks tried to bite me at the Bronze, this is payback you freaks of nature.

I hear Willow screaming and Ms. Calendar calling for Mr. Giles, I turn and see this tentacle thingy wrapping around Willow's ankle and suddenly I'm thinking that maybe this wasn't the safest place after all.

"The Hellmouth!" shouts Mr. Giles, and I'm thinking he's gone crazy 'cause what the hell does that mean, and how does it at all help the situation?

The creature has three heads and reaches all the way to the ceiling, and I start wondering if the ugly guys are maybe more preferable to this thing…what did Giles call it? The Hellmouth! I guess it does kinda fit, because it looks like something out of hell, and it does have three mouths. Whatever! I still don't get how knowing its name helps in anyway 'cause we're still barricaded in here with the thing. And where is Buffy? Usually she's in the middle of all this weird stuff.

Willow screams again as the creature tries to drag her away.

"GIIILES!" screams Ms. Calendar, holding tightly to Willow.

Should I do something? Oh okay, Giles is on his way with an axe…I guess I'll just stay here and not be surprised that there are axes in the library, 'cause hello…nothings weird anymore when you're watching a three headed creature try and eat your schoolmate.

"GILES!" screams Ms. Calendar again.

He doesn't answer because he's swinging the axe into one of the heads causing it to roar, in agony and not anger I hope.

Giles keeps swinging at the Hellmouth, eventually the thing gets tired of being chopped up and knocks Giles off the mezzanine and onto the large table below. It breaks when Giles hits it, and one side falls over onto its end, leaving a huge spike pointing upward.

One of the heads then hovers over Giles whilst the other faces off with Willow and then…it laughs.

It sounds even worse than that time I scrapped my car against this metal barrier, causing this high pitched scream of metal against metal.

There's this sudden shattering of glass and this guy comes crashing through the skylight, and all I can think is that he's even uglier than the ugly guys. He lands on the broken table and is impaled on the spike turning slowly into dust leaving nothing but a skeleton behind.

Okay…what the hell just happened?

Nobody else seems surprised that a guy just died in front of us and turned into a skeleton. So maybe it's me, maybe I'm the weird one here?

Anyway, on the plus side, the hellmouth disappears and so does the ugly guys…so all in all, I'm a happy little camper.

So where's a mirror around here anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm not fit for any company after battling creatures for a whole evening, so what if the only people around are freaks and geeks, it's no excuse to let yourself go – which is a lesson Buffy could learn sometime!

I begin pushing the junk away from the library doors in anticipation of finding a mirror in one of the toilets.

When the last of the furniture is shoved away the doors open and who should appear…Buffy, that's who.

I'm tempted to scream bloody murder, demanding to know where the hell she was when all the weird crap was going down, this is her thing not mine.

She's even wearing a prom dress, how could she even think of things like that when creatures are coming out of the floorboards?

And anyway, dress or not, she still looks terrible. You'd think she'd put on a little make-up and dry the hair into a style that's…say…not wet!

Anyway, as I was saying, I was tempted to tell her all of this, but then Mr. Salty Goodness came in behind her and I forgot what I was going to say.

So little-miss-weird was out on a date whilst the rest of us were saving the world!

Oh, and Xanders here too!

Speaking of, who would want to take him along on their date? That's just…weird, and…gross!

"The vampires?" asks Giles, interrupting my thoughts.

What vampires? Oh, I get it…the vampires were those ugly biting guys, which makes sense.

How come I'm not surprised and freaked by this? Oh god! I've become one of them!

"Gone" I say, hoping none of them have mistaken me for a new crime fighting pal. I want no part in this weirdness, and refuse to ever speak of it again.

"The Master?" asks Sexy Man.

"Dead. The Hellmouth closed. Buffy…Buffy?"

Okay, I'm not a hundred percent sure what that last statement meant. I though the Hellmouth was the three headed creature?

Whatever!

I have absolutely no interest in this subject whatsoever.

"Oh, sorry. It's just been a really weird day" she smiles at him.

"Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!" adds Xander, like it's a cause for celebration or something.

She'd better not try and use that as an excuse for her appearance, 'cause I am so on to her!

"Wow! Harsh" exclaims Willow, seemingly way over the whole creature trying to eat her thing.

"I should have known that wouldn't stop you" smiles Giles.

Yeah. Whatever. Couldn't we all just barf and call it a night?

"Well, what do we do now?" questions Ms. Calendar.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore."

I look at Giles and think to myself how I've never like the library…and this is definitely the last time you will EVER find me in here again. In fact, I'll deny ever being in here before.

"Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun."

Wow, for once we're in agreement.

"Yeah!"

They'd better not expect me to talk to them. When we get there, we are definitely going our separate ways.

"Buffy?" questions Willow.

"Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty."

Heh! Sure, whatever makes you feel better, hon!

"And what about him?" Ms. Calendar indicates the skeleton guy.

"He's not going anywhere. Loser."

She seems to have issues with the dead-skeleton guy.

We all start making our way out of the library war zone.

"I'm not dancing, though" comments Giles.

"We'll see" replies Ms. Calendar slyly.

"You can come with us, Angel" Willow says to Salty Goodness.

So his name is Angel, well I guess it's fitting, he does look like one.

"I'm hungry" announces Buffy.

No ones caring freak-girl, also, you could stand to loose a few pounds!

"So what's the story with the car?" asks Xander.

"Oh, that was me, saving the day!"

Shouldn't I get a medal for it or something...actually, not such a great idea 'cause then people will know that I was here! With them!

"Get something to drink" continues Willow to Angel.

He doesn't say much does he?

"Is anybody else hungry?"

Maybe you have worms, you should get that checked out! And, nobody is still caring!

"Well, no, don't do that. Just hang" says Willow very nervously, Angel still doesn't answer her though.

"I'm really, really hungry"

Ugh! Get over it already! Nobody cares!

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