The First and Last
Chapter 5

It was just a kiss, that's it, just a kiss. Why did she feel that way then? Why did it feel like her heart was beating between her legs then? And why did her body feel so strange, it felt as though a fire was burning in her chest, a very passionate fire.

It was just a kiss, that's it. A kiss is really nothing, nothing at all! Just two lips touching; and his lips were so soft, so warm as they moved over hers. It felt so good when he sort of suckled her top lip, massaging it in an odd sensual way. Kissing included more, of course, like hands and bodies. His hands had cupped her head in a way that sent shivers down her spine and made her feel so loved. It made her feel that she was his everything, the one he constantly thought about, the one he wanted to hold until the end of the time. The One. And their bodies, they were touching, his was so warm and so soft, even if she could feel his flexed muscles against her breasts. It had felt so strange, but a good strange.

It was just a kiss. It wasn't as if it had been her choice either. He'd just pulled her into him, his arms strong and forceful, yet so gentle. He'd sent shivers down her spine before their lips even touched. It still wasn't her choice. She wouldn't have kissed him, if he hadn't pulled her in, like he'd been longing for her touch, longing to have that connection. She didn't kiss him, really. He'd kissed her, she hadn't fought back, she couldn't have if she tried, but she didn't kiss him. She might have kissed him back, out of shock of course, but she hadn't kissed him.

It was. It was a lot of things, but just a kiss it was not. It was so much more; she could feel so much more from it. If he'd simply kissed her, their lips would've brushed and they'd have walked their separate ways. No, this was a kiss. A real kiss. She could feel emotion flow through the connection, like he was trying to tell her something, send her some emotion. He had sent her an emotion, love. She'd felt it and it might not have been for her, but she'd felt it. She liked it. She liked the way a kiss felt. Even if she didn't like the person who'd given it to her. It was everything he wasn't. He wasn't, isn't, loving, he isn't caring, he isn't warm and comforting. He is cold and uncaring, he is unemotional, he is horrible. She hated that a kiss like that, a real kiss, was from him. How could he give her a kiss like that?

She stared into his eyes, the emotion still pouring out, his hair mussed from her hands, his cheeks red. His steel eyes seemed so attractive now. They were so vivid, not cold anymore.

Their breath was still shallow, from the lack of breath and the shock of each other.

She wanted his lips on hers again, to feel the soft moist and warm feel again. Maybe he would kiss her again, or she could kiss him. Her heart was still throbbing between her legs from the first kiss, and she had to admit she liked it, even if it was from Draco. She wondered if he was feeling the same thing, the same raw heat. He didn't seem the type to feel that, he seemed the type to just have sex to have sex, regardless of the connection it made between two people.

Would he deny this? Forget it and throw it away? She wanted to know so bad if this was just something he'd done to shag her. Had she just been a target, her chastity the prize? She wouldn't let him win; never would he have her before they were married. But they weren't getting married, this wasn't a proposal, it was a kiss. A real kiss with heated emotion.

She didn't want their bodies to break contact, it felt so right, even if it was Draco. His body seemed to fit just right with hers, like they were made for each other. She wondered what his hands felt like. Would they be as icy as she had always imagined him, or would they be warm? They were probably big, the kind of hands that you associated with a man. No calluses, but still manly. They'd probably fit well with hers, like their bodies did. She wondered if her own hand would be lost in his, like Susan's in Ron's. She'd always loved that, it seemed so cute, so right. Or maybe, they'd be like Lily's and Harry's, her hands so long and thin, his just as long but thicker, like they were equal but Harry was still the hero, the rock.

She wanted to feel that kiss again upon her lips, she longed for him to pull her head forward as gently as he had the first time and for their lips to touch in the ecstatic way they had just seconds ago.

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It was just a kiss, that's it, just a kiss. He'd kissed her; he'd kissed her to lure her into his bed. He'd kissed her so she would fall into his arms and let him have his way. That's what his body and mind told him, that it was for sex. He'd been swayed by his heart to kiss her, to really kiss her. It wasn't just a kiss, just a brush of the lips, but a real kiss in which he felt emotion. He never really felt things, he felt the pleasure of sex, he felt the sick enjoyment of other's pain, but feelings were another matter. He'd never loved, he'd never been loved even if the girls had shouted it from under his body, it wasn't true.

He was staring her just as fervently as she was staring at him. It felt great, like his entire body was tingling. He couldn't help the emotion he felt, the way her eyes seemed to speak to him, her body seemed to fit into his.

He felt the throbbing between his legs, but it was so much warmer than any other time. He'd always been away of the woman he was with, but with Ginny, her breasts pressed against his chest, it was so much more. His skin felt so odd, like a fire burning, and where her breasts were pressed up against him, he seemed able to feel them. It was strange for him, he'd never felt that way, he'd never felt his skin burn with icy fire.

He wanted to kiss her again, he knew his lips moved expertly, he'd had practice, but hers seemed so innocent. He could tell that it was her first kiss; she sort of fumbled in a sweet way that made him even more eager to kiss her. Even as she fumbled, her lips still sent shock waves through him. No girl had ever done that to him, they'd kissed him, but it had always felt sexual, this felt different. Like the focus was love not sex, something he thought made no difference.

He didn't want to let her go, she felt right in his arms. He felt he could keep her safe, even though his mind was telling him he didn't care about his safety. His heart was screaming he did want her to be safe; he wanted her to always be safe even if it was for his own personal desires.

Her hazel eyes were still locked on his, in a way that made Draco feel happy. He liked it; her eyes seemed to settle the constant battle in his body, silencing the screams of his body and mind. She looked angelic again, the fire was blazing brightly behind her, making her seem to glow, but the fireplace and wall behind her had faded from his view. She seemed to block out everything in the world, no, the universe. She was everything, the only thing that mattered.

He leaned in again but didn't kiss her, he decided not to, even if they both wanted it. He'd been her first kiss, she was his last. He didn't know it, but he would never again kiss another girl. Maybe he'd die in the war, maybe he'd spend the rest of his life with her, but he'd have no other.

He didn't want to spoil the moment of her first kiss, if he kissed her now the two would become fused together. No, he had to wait so she could savor the moment, remember her first kiss as a first kiss not a second and a third.

He'd never really had a kiss, a real kiss. He'd had the emotionless brush of the lips, the sexual heat of their tongues pushing against each other, but not the sweet kiss of an even sweeter girl. This was his first kiss, too; so maybe he was saving it for himself. Preserving the moment so he could have it and cherish it forever. He'd remember it till the day he died, the way she looked like an angel, the way her hazel eyes quieted his mind, the way she broke through to him, the way he'd felt real emotion.

Their bodies were still touching, but still Draco managed to pull her into a hug. Her head lay on his shoulder, as he settled his into the nook of her own shoulder.

Their eyes were closed, each shutting out all of the thoughts running through their minds.

They wanted to be there, both of them, holding each other. They wanted to feel the warmth spreading through their bodies as the throbbing calmed, the tight squeeze from the other as their breaths were no longer shallow but calm and long.

No one entered the Prefect common room, not one of the twenty-four prefects, Ginny thought it was because they were meant to be, but it was really because Draco had changed the password. He hadn't wanted to be disturbed, no matter what his intentions and desires were.

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Ginny walked back to the Gryffindor common room, still thinking of the kiss. She could almost feel it on her lips, the way his lips had felt on hers. She wanted it again, to feel the raw emotion he emitted.

She'd walked out in the silence and the dark. The fire had burnt out and neither had wanted to spoil the moment with words, so she'd slipped off, not sure if he would stay or follow her out. He'd stayed, not wanting to return to his room and the third year girl that was waiting in his bed. He'd fallen onto the couch, images of Ginny still swimming in his head, extremely happy that neither of them said anything.

Ginny's fingers touched her lips softly, as if they were sacred, and they were. From the touch of Draco's lips on her own, they were holy, if only for now or the night, they were sacred and deserved to be touched gingerly.

She walked past shouting Ron, not hearing his voice, Harry and Lily cuddling and tickling each other on the couch, and Hermione looking at her oddly a quill still in her hand and a piece of parchment on a book resting on her lap. She didn't notice her friends, or anything for that matter, as she walked through the common room. She was too focused on the kiss and remembering every searing detail to bother paying attention to what she was doing.

She walked into the dormitory and stripped down to her undergarment and, not bothering to put on her bedclothes, climbed into bed. She scooted down, enveloping herself in the thick warm covers, and hugged one of the body sized pillows to her body.

She started to cry, soft silent tears. Not of sorrow or pain, but a different emotion. It was like she'd come home after years of being away, like she'd found an old friend, like everything had just nestled into place.

She fell asleep, her pillow wet and her eyelashes glistening with the salty tears.

"I've found you," she said softly, the pain still coming through her voice.

He didn't look at her; his face was on the ground, as if angry or sad. He wasn't sure how he felt; a million things were going through his mind. She'd ruined him for sex, never again could he bed a girl, shag her senseless. He couldn't even imagine kissing a girl without the heat he'd felt when he kissed her. She'd ruined him for sex and lust and pure desire.

She'd also given him the best kiss he'd ever received, the best feeling he'd ever had, and joy greater than he could imagine. She was it. She was also perfect, the way her hair outlined her angelic face, the way her hair brought out the dark brown flecks of color in here eyes, the way her teeth shown like fresh snow when she smiled.

He didn't care that she was it or that she'd ruined him, he liked it.

She took a step towards him and he glided back against his own will. He didn't want to move, but no matter what his body would never stay if she moved. He had to take the steps, he had to make himself change, that was why he always glided away from her, not because he didn't love her. She couldn't get closer to him because she was already perfect, but he could take the steps towards her because he needed to better himself, become a person worth her time.

Her eyes were tearing; even though she found him she didn't have him, not yet. A kiss was a kiss and it meant a million things, but it didn't make the person he was supposed to be. He was hers, he always was, but he wasn't ready for her to have him, for him to be a part of her life.

He stepped towards her, but was unable to close the gap. He raised his hand, trying to touch her, but he wasn't close enough.

She brought up her own hand, her eyes still glassy. Their fingers touched, sending shocks through their bodies.

"Don't let me go," he said softly.

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AN: You've taken the time to read... so please review!