Chapter 04 – The Nanny

"No way, Clark! I won't let him take care of my daughter!" Lois snapped, clearly angry with her husband. "Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"But Lois … You have to come back to work tomorrow and we still didn't pick out a nanny," Clark reminds her as she rolled her eyes.

"I know that but are you serious talking about let that imp take care of my precious baby? Are you crazy?"

"Lois, you declined every nanny who we looked at for the job," Clark pointed out, also becoming annoyed at their disagreement.

"Between the big boobed blonde, that stripper, and that brunette who didn't notice you were married and kept hitting on you, can you blame me?" Lois refreshed his memory as she was fed Lara.

"I rather to have Harley Quinn taking care of her than one of them," Lois sighed, frustrated, as she sat on the couch in Lara's room after putting her to sleep in her crib. "Okay, about the gnome. Why can we put her in a daycare or something like that?"

"Lois, did you forget she keeps floating? And what if something else happens like she develops another power? She is too young to understand this now. We can't risk that."

Lois sighed, frustrated. She hated when Clark was right, which, unfortunately, was most of the time. "You're right. You're right. And it's not fair to ask Linda, my sister or your mother again. I guess we don't have another option."

"I guess not."

Clark sat down next to her, holding her hand and trying to calm her.

"But if he tries anything or does anything with my baby, I'll kick his ass to the fifth dimension," Lois said with a very serious and angry look.

"And I'll help you if he tries something. Believe me."

The next day, Lois and Clark were ready to leave for the Daily Planet but still no sign of Mr Mxyzptlk.

"Clark, he is fifteen minutes late and so we are…"

"I know, Lois. He'll show…I hope."

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door, to Lois and Clark's surprise. It was Mr Mxyzptlk wearing a purple suit and a purple hat.

" Mr Mxyzptlk?" Clark asked surprised. "Why did you use the door?"

"I want to start on the right foot, big guy, so you and the Misses can trust me," he explained while rolling his eyes.

"All right. I'm still keeping an eye on you. If anything happens to my daughter, if she even gets scratched, I'll kick your ass to the fifth dimension," Lois lift him by his collar. "Got it?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good."

"Let's go, Lois. Everything is gonna be all right," Clark leaves the apartment, pulling Lois with him. "And please try not to change the Universe when we are out, alright?

"Geez, one mistake and people will keep reminding you about it." The imp sighed in frustration as Clark gave him a very serious look. "I'll do my best."

After they left the apartment, he went to Lara's crib in the living room and smiled at the baby. "Hey little girl. How are you? Are you bored too? Well, I'll try to do something for us to kill time."

"I'm sorry but that will not be possible," a voice suddenly said.

Harley Quinn broke through the window, throwing a can of knock-out gas in the floor. "I'm sorry but I need this baby!" she said putting the baby in her arms and smiling to her. "Hello, little baby!"

Later in the Daily Planet building, Lois was trying to work on her story, post all the welcome back celebrations, when suddenly her cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Miss Lane?"

" Mxyz.. Mxply... Mxy... ahhh, whatever! What do you want?" Lois asked worried about Lara and starting to bite her button lip in nervousness. "Is something wrong?"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"WHAT?" Lois asked out loud as Clark used his super hearing to monitor the call. "Where are you? Right. I got it. I'm there right away."

"What happened?" Chloe asked as she noticed Lois and Clark's looks.

"Harley Quinn kidnapped Lara, our nanny followed them and now they are in Suicide Slum," Lois explained showing Clark the note where she written the address. "Why there? Why she had to bring my daughter to the worst part of the city?"

"You can go!" Perry ordered as Lois and Clark ran out of the office. Clark changed into his Superman's costume and flew with Lois to the Suicide Slum where they met the imp on one of the corners. Again, Lois lifted him by the collar, threatening him.

"This is your fault! After I find my daughter I'll…"

"Lois!"

"It's not my fault. She threw gas in the apartment but since I'm from another dimension, it didn't affect me much and I could follow her. Seems she and The Joker can't have a baby of their own."

"All right." Lois put him in the floor again. "Let's get this over with!"

Harley Quinn, Joker's girlfriend, was looking for Lara who was starting to crawl away. "Baby, come here! Please!"

"Harley, what do you think you are doing?" The Joker asked moodily.

"Looking for our baby, pudding."

"Do we have a baby?" He asked, shocked. "Since when?"

"Since I kidnapped the Kent's baby for us."

"Ohhhh, pumpkin… you did that for me?" The Joker inquired with a creepy smile. "Where is it?"

"Somewhere. I think she started to crawl but I can't find her," Harley sighed, frustrated. "I know I put her down here, then I went to the kitchen to pick out some of the baby food I bought at the market earlier… and when I came back… she was gone."

"Let me help you, my little minx."

"That would be swell, Mr J.!" Harley said with a smile. "I don't want to anything to happens to our precious baby. I don't want her to get hurt."

"She won't pumpkin. She won't. I'll kill somebody before that happens!"

Lois, Clark and Mxyzptlk opened the window as they entered the basement of the abandoned house.

"Anything, Clark?" Lois asked hopefully, holding his hands.

"Seems they lost her. She started to crawl."

"She did?" Lois asked with a silly smile before sobering up. "Oh, my God. We have to find her."

"Wait. I can hear baby laughter. She's close. Come on."

They ran off into the house to find Lara still crawling in the middle of the living room. Lois runs to her, putting the baby in her arms and hugging her dearly." Lara! Thank God! I was so worried!"

"Let's go out of here!" Clark says as suddenly Harley and The Joker appears in the living room, surprising them.

"Where do you think you are going?" Harley asked with a angry look.

"Away… with our daughter." Lois answered, already losing her patience.

"You can go but the baby stays. It's our baby now," The Joker reminds them while pointing a gun.

"What? You can't have your own baby so you decide to kidnap ours?" Lois asked, very irritated.

Harley and Joker exchanged amused looks before answering together, "That's right!"

"I see," Clark looks confused to them. "Did you try adoption?"

"Honestly, Mr Kent, with my reputation who would be crazy enough to give me a baby of their own free will?" The Joker pointed out with sarcastic and psycho laughter.

"He's got a point, Clark!" Lois nodded, still holding Lara in her arms. The baby was very tired and started to yawn. "But you can't have my daughter either. I'm sorry."

Harley looks at the way Lois was holding the now sleeping Lara close to her body.

"You know what? Let them go with her, pudding," Harley said with a sympathetic smile. "The baby needs her mother."

"Why did you change your mind, Harl?" The Joker asked, confused and scratching his head.

"I didn't change my mind. I still want a baby but not theirs. Look at Miss Lane. She has a natural mother's instinct. She makes the baby sleep."

"Maybe she got bored with all this conversation," Mxyzptlk pointed out, annoyed. "I know I am."

"That's okay, you can go. And be careful, she is crawling," Harley warned them before they left.

"We noticed, thanks." Lois, Clark and Mxyzptlk left the house. Clark put Lois and Lara in his arms and flew them back to Metropolis where they found Mxyzptlk who had teletransported himself back to the Kent's apartment.

"That's good for today. You can go now," Clark reminds the imp, who smiled delivishly at him.

"I see you in ninety days, big blue!" Mxyzptlk said before disappearing as Clark put Lara, still sleeping peacefully, in her crib as Lois and Clark watched over her

TBC