A/N: Plugging right along…
This is one of the more unusual scenes I've written. The intention here was to acknowledge intimacy & sexual pleasure can take many forms.
In this chapter, Data and Tasha find new ways to connect with one another as they explore themselves and their relationship.
Three days later, Tasha was down on the Calypso helping to refit the vessel for the rescue mission.
Engineers working around the clock. The sound of sonic welders, transwarp conductor tests, and drivers could be heard coming from all angles of the ship.
The Calypso featured a forward-facing cargo bay hanger. The plan was to 'scoop' up the shuttle using that cargo bay.
Because of the speed necessary in order to achieve escape velocity, Tasha would have to locate and pick up the shuttle at full impulse. It required precise flying, or she could destroy the shuttle or miss the angle necessary for slingshot manoeuvre.
While engineering was far from Tasha's forte, she knew her way around the weapons and shielding systems well – especially on a Dart class ship like Calypso. And Tasha was desperate for any kind of distraction from the loneliness she felt.
"You miss him," Sonya said from across the Bridge.
"What?" Tasha asked.
"I said you miss him," Sonya repeated. "And you're worried about him."
"It's my job to worry about the away team," Tasha said stiffly.
"But that's not why you asked me about what happens when they reach the event horizon," Sonya said knowingly. "And it's why you've been dragging your feet on restarting that console. I know you finished the reroute ages ago."
Tasha sat up on her elbow and looked over at the young engineer.
"Yeah," Tasha confessed. "I do."
She glanced out of the viewscreen.
"I really do," she breathed.
Sonya sat up from her station under the helm.
"You know Lieutenant La Forge always says the impossible is just waiting for an engineer to make possible," Sonya said with a reassuring smile.
Suddenly, Tasha's combadge pinged.
"Lieutenant Yar, we've picked up a class one probe approaching the Enterprise," Picard's voice advised. "It's from the shuttle."
Tasha tried to contain her excitement.
"Do you know what this means?" Sonya asked enthusiastically. "If they've sent a probe, it likely contains the information we need to know exactly the size and scope of the black hole."
"Transporter room has advised that they're reading Commander Data's combadge signal from the probe," Picard went on.
Tasha sat up so quickly she hit the top of her head on the console.
The Captain advised that he had a team ready to beam it aboard into Transporter Room two.
"Acknowledged," Tasha said, rubbing her forehead. "On my way."
Tasha had done her best to remain composed on her way to the Transporter Room, but it was hard to contain that much nervous energy. If they had picked up Data's signature on the probe, that was a good sign that the away team was alive and aware of their circumstances.
Leave it to Data to figure out just how to get their attention in a crisis.
When she reached Transporter Room two, she found that the other remaining senior officers were already present..
"Looks safe," Tasha commented, scanning the probe with her tricorder. "I'll crack it open with your permission, sir?"
"Please," Picard replied.
Tasha knelt down next to the probe and accessed the control panel. After inputting her Enterprise security access code, the probe hissed and opened.
Tasha's throat grew tight as she felt her eyes well up.
Deanna could feel an overwhelming sense of shock and loss radiating off her friend.
Tasha clapped her hand over her mouth. She closed her eyes and choked back the urge to sob.
You're on duty. No tears on duty. She told herself.
Wordlessly, Deanna rushed forward and embraced her friend.
Captain Picard and Beverly could tell something was wrong.
Stepping forward to the transporter pad, they glanced down into the probe.
Picard wasn't sure what to say.
Beverly knew from experience it wouldn't matter.
There were no words that could properly convey their sympathy for Tasha's loss.
Beverly knelt down next to Tasha and joined their embrace.
"Data," Picard said softly as he found himself staring at Data's disembodied head.
"It is good to see you, Captain," Data responded as he opened his eyes.
Everyone was startled.
Captain Picard had jumped back in time to avoid the three officers that stumbled back in alarm.
Tasha was the first to find the courage to crawl back to the probe.
"Tasha, why are you crying?" Data's head asked.
Carefully, she reached down and picked up his head. Tasha pulled it up to eye level and blinked in disbelief at the sight of it.
"Tasha?" Data pressed. "What is wrong?"
"Are you hurt?" she asked in concern.
It was as if he'd been cut clean off, just below the neck. She knew he didn't experience pain in the same manner as humans.
However, it didn't mean he was completely immune. Nor was he spared the emotional toll of such a loss. Data had come so far in his development and begun to recognise his own self-imagine in a new way. Tasha was concerned this would be a huge setback.
"I am fine," he replied.
Overcome with emotion, she pulled him close into an embrace. Clutching him tightly against her chest, Data realised that he should probably explain a few things.
"My construction makes it possible to detach my cranial unit," Data said, slightly muffled at being held so close. "My memory core and neural nets are self-contained."
"And the others?" Beverly asked.
"They are fine for the time being, but we must begin work immediately to rescue them," Data advised. "During my time in the probe, I have theorised a number of possible solutions."
Tasha stopped hugging him long enough for Data to address the group.
"May I ask, what Stardate it is?" Data inquired.
"41674.7," Captain Picard informed him.
"Fascinating," Data replied.
There had been no shortage of stares from the passing crew as Tasha carried Data's head from the Observation Lounge to his quarters.
Much to everyone's relief, Data was able to provide Engineering with the information necessary to pinpoint the shuttle's location.
"I am impressed with the plan developed by Ensign Gomez," Data remarked as they stepped into his quarters.
"Um, where do you want me to, uh," Tasha trailed off as she looked around.
She wasn't exactly sure what to do with Data.
"Would you please deposit me on the surface of my workstation?" Data asked.
Tasha set him down on the workstation and, per his request, set up his computer viewscreen at an angle that would enable him to see it clearly.
She sat down at the chair behind his workstation and watched him quietly as he input the calculations necessary to continue their work.
In a way, Data felt frustrated that he couldn't physically assist with outfitting the necessary upgrades to the Calypso. His knowledge and superhuman speed would likely have taken hours off the completion.
"And it is your intention to pilot the Calypso?" Data inquired. "What about a crew?"
"I'll go alone," Tasha explained. "We can't risk anyone else."
"That is a wise decision," Data commented. "While this plan is our best hope, I calculate only a thirty-two percent chance of success."
A chill crept down Tasha's spine.
"Don't tell Picard that," Tasha warned.
If the chance of success was so low, there was no way Captain Picard would risk sending in another member of the crew.
"Otherwise, he'd nix our idea and I'd never be able to go after the others," Tasha explained. "Or get the rest of you."
A beat passed.
"You can be reassembled right?" Tasha asked nervously. "We can fix you? Can Geordi put you back together?"
She needed to know. She couldn't stand to see him like this.
"Tasha, all that is me is contained within my neural net. I am here," Data asserted.
Data could not turn to look at her, but he knew that his words hadn't provided the reassurance she was seeking.
"Of course, you are," she said, feigning confidence.
"The limb and torso components of my system are not necessary for my sentience," Data reminded her.
"Yeah," Tasha agreed awkwardly.
She thumbed away the tears that had started to run down her face and said silent prayer to the Universe – thankful that Data couldn't turn around to see her.
She felt ashamed for crying over it when he was the one that had been taken apart. But Tasha couldn't help it, she felt like Data was putting on brave face.
Data had previously shared that he had been threatened with disassembly during his earliest days of activation.
And it was true, Data was trying to keep his spirits up.
If the rescue was unsuccessful, it would be a major disruption to his life.
While he was certain he could eventually create a synthetic body – it could be years before he would play a violin again, or paint, or harvest a crop in the arboretum again.
Or hold Tasha. He reminded himself bitterly.
Data hoped that by keeping a metaphorical 'stiff upper lip' it would reassure Tasha that everything was going to be alright.
"Do you need anything?" Tasha asked.
"I am fine," Data replied.
"I suppose you've got a lot of work to do," Tasha said.
"That is correct," Data said in response. "However, you are welcome to stay."
Data didn't want to press it, but he desperately wanted her company. He had spent three days alone drifting through space. It was isolating.
In his current state, he was not free to head to Ten Forward or the arboretum for companionship.
"I don't want to get in your way," Tasha said quickly as she stood up.
Truth be told, Tasha was feeling completely shaken.
She needed to clear her head.
It was too weird to see Data like this.
"I'll, uh, see you later," she said as she backed toward the door.
"If that is your wish," Data replied.
He could sense her hesitancy and speculated this must be difficult for her.
More than anything, he wished he could assure her that they would get through this. He didn't want to lose her from his life, but he understood this would change things.
He waited fifteen minutes.
"Computer, what is the current location of Lieutenant Yar?" Data queried.
"Lieutenant Yar is currently on Holodeck three," the Computer answered.
It was the confirmation he needed to know just where her thoughts lay.
Tasha felt great.
Well, mentally she felt great.
A nice long run on the holodeck was exactly what she needed to clear her mind. It may have been a direct violation of Beverly's orders to avoid physical exertion.
Only Tasha needed this run. She needed to let her mind go blank for a while.
But that piece of mind had come with a price. And Tasha knew she was going to pay for it.
"You just don't understand the meaning of 'no' do you?" Beverly snapped as she stepped through the arch.
Beverly whipped out her tricorder and conducted a quick scan.
"I didn't give you that order because I wanted you to take it easy," Beverly growled. "I gave you that order because I shot your body full of neurostimulants and midodrines to increase your blood pressure."
It was a necessary part of their training in order to try and keep Tasha conscious during the rescue attempt.
"Gods you're lucky Data called us," Beverly warned her.
Tasha staggered.
"Easy does it," Beverly said as put her arm under the Security Chief to stabilise her.
After a quick treatment, Tasha felt better. She dropped down on the floor to stretch.
"You're lucky you didn't stroke out," Beverly said angrily as she slammed the components back into the emergency kit and shut the lid. "Gods that was stupid."
As she leaned forward to touch her toes, Tasha didn't respond.
"You could have seriously hurt yourself," Beverly went on.
She had been opposed to the idea of the stimulants from the start. Pumping an officer full of so many drugs was a big risk. She'd only agreed, albeit reluctantly, at the insistence of Tasha and Captain Picard.
Tasha let Beverly go on for a while, taking the verbal lashing as the Doctor worked it out of her system.
Deanna could sense Tasha felt she deserved it.
"You can't punch your way out of this," Beverly raged. "I'm sick of patching you up because you can't just work through your emotional problems like the rest of us."
Ouch! That touched a nerve! Deanna sensed.
Before she could suggest they cool down, Deanna heard Tasha sniffle.
She brushed away the hot tears and bent forward to continue stretching, praying that if she stayed quiet Deanna and Beverly would get the hint and leave.
"Tasha?" Deanna tried.
Tasha sat back and took a shaky breath. She couldn't bring herself to look at Beverly or Deanna.
Even in her counselling sessions, it was hard for her to let anyone see her this vulnerable.
"It's just hard to see him like this," Tasha sobbed.
"You mean Data," Deanna said as she sat down next to Tasha on the floor.
"You're having trouble adjusting to this change," Beverly added.
"It makes you uncomfortable," Deanna went on.
Tasha shook her head.
"Reacting this way is perfectly normal," Deanna assured her. "It's a significant shock and change to your relationship. Fear of being patronising or saying the wrong thing is natural."
"Data's here. With you. And I'm sure he wants to spend time with you," Beverly began to say. "People that don't have disabilities often feel awkward interacting with-"
Tasha threw her head back.
"Gods that's not it," she confessed.
Tasha groaned and put her head in her hands.
"It's like once again he's nothing more than a bloody machine," Tasha explained. "I'm sick of him being treated like this."
It was enough to make Tasha want to vomit and scream at the same time.
She described to Deanna and Beverly how Data had insisted he was fine being disembodied.
"It's as if he forgot he's more than a bundle of circuitry," Tasha said bitterly. "He's prioritising his status as a supercomputer over his own self – his hobbies, our bloody relationship."
She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jumpsuit.
"We would never ask a humanoid to do something like that," Tasha finished sadly. "And we'd never expect them to be okay if they came back like that."
Deanna knew it was hard for Tasha to share this – but now that it was out in the open it was like a weight had been lifted from her heart.
"You're right," Deanna said. "We shouldn't assume he's alright."
"Have you spoken to Data about this?" Beverly asked.
Tasha shook her head.
"I tried to bring it up," she said.
Tasha told them about their conversation and Data's insistence that his sentience was intact.
"Gods and then I just ran away," Tasha sighed as she laid back on the floor.
"Why did you leave?" Deanna inquired.
"I was worried I was going to break down," Tasha admitted. "And I couldn't do that in front of him. I think he's scared. And he's going to need me."
She pulled her friends in for a sweaty hug.
"Oh, please don't hug me again until you've showered," Deanna laughed.
"I don't know what I'd do without you two," Tasha said.
"What are best friends for?" Beverly grinned.
When they broke apart, Beverly and Deanna helped Tasha to her feet.
She was already incredibly sore and knew it would be worse in the morning.
Penance. A little voice in her head reminded her.
"I suppose I should go talk with him," Tasha sighed. "Sorry, this is just so weird."
"You're in a relationship with the only sentient android in the universe," Beverly commented. "Weird comes with the territory."
Data had been listening to music when Tasha returned from her workout.
"Hey," Tasha called out, tossing her Parrises Squares bag by the door.
Tasha dropped down to sit eye-level with Data.
"Hey," she repeated.
"Hi," he said.
For a moment, neither of them said anything as they gazed at one another.
Tasha reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.
"This is difficult for you," Data commented.
"I suspect not as hard as it is for you," Tasha replied.
Data's face registered a look of disagreement. Tasha was certain that if he could shake his head, he would have done so at that moment.
"As I have said, my neural net is completely intact," Data assured her. "My memory engrams and central processor retain their-"
"You're a lot more than just some memory files," Tasha clapped back. "And we both know it."
"Will you stay here tonight?" Data asked. "And can we sit together and read? Like we do in your quarters?"
Tasha nodded.
"I'll need to shower first," Tasha said.
"I will remain here," Data replied. "It would be best if the exposed circuitry at the base of my cranial unit avoid exposure to moisture."
"I won't be long," Tasha promised.
True to her word, she was back in seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds.
After towelling her hair, Tasha picked up Data and carried him over to the sofa.
"Where would you like to sit?" Tasha asked.
"With you," Data replied simply.
Thinking fast, Tasha grabbed one of the pillows. She set it down on her lap to provide some leverage, and then Data on top of it.
"Is this alright?" she inquired.
"Perfect," Data answered.
She grabbed the PADD and opened the appropriate file.
Clearing her throat, she resumed where they had last left off.
"The mist had now completely encircled the research station. Captain Spruce reached for the radio, only to find it was dead," Tasha read aloud. "She knew there was a secondary transponder. But it was located fifty metres away in the digger."
Data closed his eyes, content to let her stroke his hair as she read to him.
It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but her physical touch was welcome, nonetheless.
When she had left earlier, Data had felt a metaphorical sting of rejection at the idea that his condition scared or disturbed her. It only reinforced his self-doubt.
"Would you like to read another chapter or wait for tomorrow?" Tasha asked.
"It would seem Captain Spruce is not unlike a certain Security Chief I know," Data teased.
Tasha laughed.
"Hush," Tasha retorted as she set the PADD down on the coffee table.
Tasha hissed as she stood, she was stiff.
"You overexerted yourself," Data said knowingly.
"You know I only do it, so you'll give me a massage," Tasha replied. "It's all part of my evil plan to get your hands on-"
Tasha stopped herself.
Real smooth. She chastised herself.
"Oh gods, Data," she said quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up-"
"Tasha, may I confess something?" Data asked.
Tasha nodded.
"I wish I could touch you," Data admitted. "In this moment, I would like nothing more than to hold you."
Tasha kicked herself for bringing up the subject.
"I do not wish to burden you with-" Data began.
"You're never a burden," Tasha assured him.
Data closed his eyes as he tried to organise his thoughts.
"I am frustrated by my lack of independence in this state," Data explained. "My inability to paint or walk out of my quarters is something I can only describe as infuriating. I am not in control of my own physical body. I feel like a prisoner within my cranial unit."
Tasha pulled his head into an embrace.
She wasn't sure what to say to reassure him but wanted him to know he was loved and that his anger was perfectly valid.
"If our plan is successful, Geordi should be able to reattach my torso and limb units," Data went on. "However, it may take time. And the procedure may not be effective. If that is the case, I will likely be able to synthesise a body in time."
"That's great, baby," Tasha said.
Data closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in the sensation of being in her arms.
After a few seconds, he found the courage to voice what had been occupying his mind for the last several days.
"I spent a significant portion of my travel time in the probe contemplating how to say this, Tasha," Data said. "And I must confess that my motivations for asking you to stay tonight were selfish. I would like to spend this evening with you."
"I already told you I'm going to stay," Tasha said. "I just got you back!"
She was so grateful to be reunited with Data. Their evening together on the sofa was exactly what she had dreamed of.
"I asked you to stay tonight, because I wanted to spend one last night with you," Data admitted.
Tasha froze.
She pulled Data's head up to eye level.
"What do you mean 'one last night'?" she asked in a panic.
Her mind was reeling.
Was this disconnection harmful?
Had he only been capable of sustaining such a state for a limited time?
"Data?" she pressed.
Data took what appeared to be a shaky breath and Tasha marvelled at the fact his expression could be so human without a torso or lungs.
There was fear – genuine fear – in her eyes and it broke Data's heart.
"I believe it would be best if we were to end our relationship given the circumstances," Data said with great effort.
Tasha looked like she'd been slapped.
She felt like she'd been run over by a stampede of Klingon targs.
"Wh-wh-why would you s-say that?" she managed to choke out between tears.
Data looked confused.
"Given my condition, I believe it would be for the best. I would rather we part as friends than attempt to maintain a relationship where I cannot love you in the way that you deserve," Data said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Tasha didn't respond. She was stunned.
"I did not anticipate your emotional response would be so strong," Data confessed. "Please say something, Tasha."
Data watched Tasha carefully as she sat there sobbing.
"It was my attempt to spare your feelings," Data went on.
"So, you thought you'd just dial it up to eleven?" Tasha asked, her voice belying just how hurt she was inside.
"I do not wish to hurt you," Data said truthfully.
Tasha scoffed.
"You didn't wish to hurt me?" she roared finally finding her voice. "So, your grand plan was to not hurt me by ending our relationship? Oh, that's just bloody rich."
He watched as she rolled her eyes.
"Gods of all the pig-headed, brainless things you could have done-" she stopped as a fresh wave of tears found their way down her face.
Data felt horrible.
He had anticipated his proposition would be unwelcome, but he had not anticipated causing such distress. Tasha was always so level-headed and rational. He assumed she would come around to the idea after he explained his reasoning.
"Tasha, you are a senior officer with large responsibilities," Data said. "You should not have to bear the additional responsibility of serving as a caretaker for me."
Tasha closed her eyes and shook her head.
"More than that, you deserved to be loved by someone that-" Data began to say.
"Where is this coming from?" Tasha demanded. "Where in those zillions of calculations per second could you possibly conceive the idea that you aren't worthy of love?"
Data hadn't expected this question.
"Where did you get the idea that I would ever want anyone other than you? Anything other than us?" Tasha asked sadly.
She couldn't believe he had the nerve to make such a ridiculous suggestion.
"Was all that talk about ninety-thousand lightyears and family just casual chinwag then, eh?" Tasha asked indignantly.
Data found that he felt worse than before.
"Did you ever consider that maybe I want to be with you in whatever form that takes? That maybe I love you?" Tasha snapped. "Or was that not a factor in your equation?"
Tasha took a breath and cleared her throat.
"I didn't spend the last three days blacking out on the holodeck because I fancy your damn arse," Tasha said.
She was trying to appeal to his sense of reason, to make him see that he was enough.
"I love you, Data," she said.
Tasha paused momentarily to study his face.
"Do you really want me to go?" she asked.
"No," Data admitted.
To his delight, she flashed him a weak smile.
"But I was concerned that you would no longer find me desirable and I did not want you to feel obligated to stay," Data said.
"You know there's something very human about self-doubt," Tasha assured him as she ran her thumb across his cheek.
She watched as his eyes lit up at the thought.
His neural net had been filled with self-doubt from the moment he had formulated his plan to escape the shuttle. Geordi's hesitancy had reinforced his concerns about the idea.
But Data had known it was the only way to save the team.
"Baby, what I'm bothered by is the fact you made this choice because you fell back into thinking you're just a machine," Tasha shared. "A tool for the rest of us to use. You're a person. You're my person. And I don't like to see you do this to yourself."
Although he was feeling more reassured than he had in days, Data did feel a twinge of regret at having underestimated Tasha.
"Tasha? May I ask you a question?" Data asked.
His tone was tentative.
"Of course," she replied.
"May I kiss you?" Data inquired.
When their lips finally met for the first time since being reunited, it wasn't the kind of passionate, steamy kiss that could be found among the pages of Beverly's romance novels.
Nor was it the kind of the desperate kiss that accompanied the reunion of many an officer following a long or dangerous mission.
It was slow.
Tender.
The kind of kiss that conveyed that there was something deeper to their relationship than mere mutual attraction or physical intimacy.
The type of touch that was shared by partners in love and in life.
When they broke apart, Tasha rested Data's forehead against her own.
"I believe we have just experienced our first lover's quarrel," Data whispered. "For what it is worth, I am sorry."
"I'm sorry too," Tasha replied softly. "Don't ever leave me, please."
"That would be quite impossible given my current state," Data quipped.
Tasha hiccupped and began to laugh.
"Please don't make me laugh," she pleaded.
"You know you go to my head," Data teased.
Tasha snorted.
"Ouch," she said after hiccupping again.
"If I could hold you right now I would," Data replied. "But it seems I left my best asset back on the shuttle."
Tasha cocked her head to the side and looked at him confused.
"You have often commented that you have a certain fascination with my hands," Data explained.
"I think your best asset is right here," Tasha commented.
Data blinked.
"My mind?" he inquired.
"No, your nose," she replied seriously.
She placed a kiss on the tip of his nose.
"Ah! A joke," Data said brightly as he caught on.
"Well, I certainly wasn't referring to your sense of humour," Tasha said with a grin.
Tasha got up and carried Data into the bedroom.
After some initial discussion about how to best make it work, Data decided it may be best if she were to place him on the nightstand. He could initiate his rest programme there. Tasha occasionally had violent nightmares and he was less likely to wind up getting tossed like a Parrises Squares handball if he was out of her reach.
Data waited until she was asleep before initiating his rest programme. She was sprawled out on her back, and he watched the gentle rise and fall of her breathing for a few moments before he closed his eyes.
"Tasha, you know I think my best asset is you," Data whispered.
As the days ticked by, the engineering team continued to work toward completing the upgrades to the Calypso, Tasha and Beverly were busy with her training, and Data was spending considerable time with Deanna.
He tried to keep his spirits up – but that was no easy task.
Geordi and the rest of the team were still trapped on the shuttle. Tasha was busy training for the rescue. And because of his disassembly, Data couldn't even occupy his time by painting or playing the violin.
Data didn't like to ask for help. He felt like a burden having to rely on others.
To make matters worse, Data was overcome with guilt. In Data's mind, his own problem seemed so trivial compared to the fate faced by the team on the shuttle.
One thing Data did have to look forward to was his evenings with Tasha. It wasn't quite the same as before – he couldn't sip hot tea or share in Guinan's latest culinary special.
Without the ability to break down and process such waste, it was pointless to try and eat or drink anything.
In response to disassembly, his cranial unit had enacted a temporary shielding at the base of his neck.
At the moment, Data was content to be in Tasha's arms.
She was still a bit loopy from Beverly's relaxants. She wasn't entirely comfortable being pumped full of drugs. But the stimulants were necessary in order to keep her conscious for the training – making the relaxants a requirement in order to sleep.
Tasha longed to sink into a hot bath but couldn't risk falling asleep. Her muscles were sore, her body ached in ways she didn't think possible.
With great effort, Tasha rolled to the side and planted a tender kiss on the top of Data's head.
Data was reciting a story from memory. He wasn't able to hold her or help ease her to sleep with a massage. So Data was relying on the only tools left at his disposal – his mind and his mouth.
After the initial shock (and a lot of counselling with Deanna), Data and Tasha were learning to come to terms with the change in their relationship.
Tasha had been incredibly supportive.
But Data couldn't shake the feeling that she was slipping away.
Hell, he had to ask Tasha to hold him so he could kiss her properly.
Tasha stirred and Data stopped reading.
"Tasha?" he prompted.
"Hmmmm?" she replied in a hazy voice.
"I am sorry," Data said.
"For what?" Tasha asked.
"I am sorry I cannot hold you right now," Data said.
With the floodgate open, Data decided to get a few things off his chest.
"I do not mean to press the issue, but this is why I suggested ending our relationship," Data said. "You deserve to be with someone that can love you not stuck as a caretaker."
Tasha frowned and shifted so she could look at Data properly.
"I love you," Tasha said, stroking his hair.
Data opened his mouth to protest, but Tasha spoke first.
"It's a change. But it doesn't change how I feel about you," Tasha assured him.
"But I cannot give you-"
"So we adapt," Tasha countered.
She gripped his head and nuzzled against it.
"I'm so glad you're back," she confessed.
She had been worried sick about him. Tasha pressed a long, slow kiss against his lips.
"I missed you so much," she went on. "Data, I have to tell you that I slept in here while you were gone."
"That is quite alright," Data assured her.
In fact, he found the thought rather endearing.
"I wanted to feel closer to you," Tasha told him. "I missed the way you smell."
"Tasha, I do not-" Data began to say.
"I know, I know. But after you paint you smell like acrylic paint and that remover you use to clean your brushes," Tasha explained. "And when you come back from the Arboretum you smell like dirt."
Data's face contorted.
He was not aware that his bioplast was capable of absorbing such scents.
"Hell, I even miss the horrible smell of that pipe," Tasha laughed as she recalled how much she despised the calabash pipe he had destroyed following the Antican and Selay delegation mission.
"I miss my pipe too," Data said.
It was another one of life's newly discovered pleasures that he could no longer indulge in.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you-"
"It is alright," Data replied. "Deanna advised it is important to discuss these things."
They both fell silent.
"Tasha, more than anything I wish I could hold you right now," Data said with a hint of sorrow.
"Me too," she replied, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room.
Tasha bit her lip and tried to think about anything other than the lump in her throat. She felt a pang of guilt for admitting that to Data. After all, he was the one that had been disassembled.
"I know you are sore from all the work you have put into training for this rescue mission," Data acknowledged. "If I could, I would rub down every inch of your body and kiss each spot that is sore."
In spite of holding back tears, Tasha grinned.
"I would start at your shoulders and work my way down your back," Data said, describing what he longed to do.
"Data, you don't have to-"
"I want to," he insisted.
Data paused. He had thought long and hard about the prospect of intimacy ever since Geordi had placed his head in that probe.
He couldn't physically touch Tasha the way he wanted – but he could attempt to provide some semblance of affection and intimacy with his words.
Tasha fell silent, allowing Data's words to wash over her.
"I would walk my fingers up the back of your leg and kiss the spot behind your knees that makes you gasp," Data went on.
Data described each step of his plan.
"Kiss the inside of your thighs, place my lips upon your shoulders, bury myself between your breasts," Data continued.
Tasha reached up and stroked Data's hair, running her fingers back through it.
"You are lucky," Data said. "Because if you were to attempt that when I had my arms, I would have caught your wrist."
It was one of his favourite things to do, teasing her just enough until she whined.
"After kissing it, I would pull you into my lap where you find yourself completely at my mercy," Data said. "I would take my time showing adequate appreciation for my favourite portion of your anatomy."
Tasha giggled.
She knew exactly what Data meant by that.
"I would pinch you twice for giggling," Data growled.
Tasha picked Data up and held his face just above her own. She giggled again, nuzzling against Data's nose.
"Watch it or I might just toss you around like a Parrises Squares ball," she threw back at him.
"I suppose I am entirely at your mercy, my dear," Data said.
"I'll be gentle," Tasha said before pulling Data down into a kiss.
She grinned against his lips. When they broke apart, Tasha laid Data down on her chest. There was something so soothing about laying against the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each breath.
They stayed like that for a time as Tasha caressed Data's hair.
"You feel nice," Tasha said.
"You are aroused," Data observed.
It was not a question – it was a statement.
Tasha opened her mouth to dismiss this, but Data was faster.
"Do not deny it. You are," Data said. "I can detect the change in your breathing."
Tasha fell silent.
"I can hear your heartbeat," Data whispered.
"I'm sorry."
They had spoken the apology simultaneously.
"Why?" Data asked.
"You have nothing to apologise for," Tasha assured him.
Tasha picked up his head so she could look at him properly. The shared a genuine smile.
"You have nothing to apologise for," Tasha repeated.
"Why are you sorry?" Data asked in response.
Tasha just shook her head.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too," Data responded.
He assumed they had already covered that point.
"Tasha, why are you sorry for being aroused?" Data asked once more, unable to let the matter drop.
Tasha shifted uncomfortably.
"We should probably get some rest," Tasha suggested.
Data's brow furrowed.
"Tasha?" he prompted.
"It's late," she said.
"Are you feeling guilty about your own arousal because of my disassembly?" Data asked, cutting right to the point.
Deanna had instructed it would be best to deal with the change in a direct and open manner. Dancing around it didn't make the situation any easier.
But it wasn't that simple.
Tasha bit her lip.
"I'm sorry," Tasha apologised again. "It's not right or fair of me to be thinking about-"
"Stop," Data ordered.
Now Tasha felt twice as bad.
"Tasha, I may not be able to enjoy physical intimacy in the way I did before – but that does not mean I am incapable of any sexual gratification," Data explained. "Nor does it mean my desire for intimacy is gone."
Data paused.
It was difficult to be open about his needs and desires. Years of being conditioned to ignore his own needs had left a deep metaphorical scar on his psyche.
But with Tasha, Data felt safe enough to bare his soul.
"Truthfully, now more than ever I feel the need to reassure myself that I can still elicit an emotional response from you," Data confessed. "I may not be able to hold your hand or stroke your hair, but I will do what I can to make you feel beautiful."
Tasha blushed.
"Data, you don't have to-"
"I want to," he insisted. "I like the way your breath hitches when I make you feel like this. The way you tremble when I touch you."
"Honey, you don't have to try," Tasha assured him.
She laughed nervously.
"I mean when you weren't even here I-"
Tasha suddenly stopped. She went pale.
Data was frustrated that he could not cock his head to the side. However, his curious expression was more than enough.
"Do you remember how I told you I snuck in and slept here while you were gone?" Tasha asked.
"You do not need to sneak, my dear," Data replied.
"I wanted to feel closer to you," Tasha shared. "I missed you. I was so worried about you."
"I do not mind that you came to sleep here," Data said. "In fact, I find it rather endearing."
Tasha visibly relaxed.
"But that is not what you were about to say before," Data said.
Tasha's mouth went dry. Suddenly, she was overcome with embarrassment.
"I, uh-"
"Tell me. Please," Data encouraged.
Tasha's face was warm. She knew she was caught.
"I may have come in here and done more than just sleep," Tasha confessed.
The corner of Data's lip curved upward.
"My point in sharing that was not for you to poke fun at me," Tasha said. "I just hope now you understand what kind of effect you have on me."
She grinned and placed a quick peck on his lips.
"You don't even have to be in the room to drive me wild," Tasha said.
Data was amused.
"Oh don't look at me like that," Tasha pleaded.
"Like what?" Data asked.
Tasha pursed her lips.
"You're enjoying this. You think it's funny," she said.
He flashed Tasha a knowing grin.
"I do not find it funny, my dear. But I do enjoy it," Data said.
"Data," she said in a warning tone.
"How am I supposed to react? A beautiful woman that I adore snuck into my bed so she could touch herself while thinking of me?" Data asked.
Tasha was at a loss for words.
Data looked her up and down as best he could, studying her expression as Tasha grappled with an odd mix of embarrassment and excitement.
"Please do not feel ashamed," Data urged. "You deserve to feel pleasure."
He knew from their counselling sessions that it had taken years for Tasha to develop a healthy relationship with sex, to feel comfortable in her own skin.
"If this plan to rescue the shuttle does not work, I will have to learn to live like this for some time," Data said.
His cranial unit had a secondary power source and could sustain itself indefinitely. All of his neural net, experience, and memories were contained within his positronic brain.
"Then we'll adapt," Tasha said softly. "We'll explore new ways to be intimate."
Data closed his eyes, and she caressed his cheek.
"I do quite like laying her with you," Tasha confessed. "Talking in ways we haven't before."
"I enjoy this as well," Data replied.
Yet he wanted more.
"But I do find myself theorising about other ways in which we could share our affection," Data said.
Holding her gaze, Data found the courage to voice his own desire.
"Touch yourself," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Tasha froze.
"Eh-" she smiled, nervous.
"Touch yourself," Data repeated. "You are so lovely. I could watch you in ecstasy always."
Tasha averted her eyes. She felt shy under his gaze.
"Data, I'm uh-"
"Say no more," Data said quickly. "If the idea is distressing, put it out of your mind."
The last thing Data wanted was for Tasha to feel uncomfortable.
"I do mean to pressure you. We will find other ways," Data said.
Tasha pulled him tight against her chest.
"No, no. I was just… surprised," Tasha said.
They had engaged in mutual masturbation before. But something about this felt different.
"Would you rather do something we can both enjoy?" Tasha asked.
To her surprise, Data smirked.
"It would be a lie to say I find no enjoyment in watching you," Data confessed.
Tasha chuckled.
"You make it seem like some scandalous show. Believe me, it's not all that exciting," Tasha said.
Tasha had never felt like anything special.
"Then let me guide you," Data whispered.
"Take off your dressing gown," Data ordered.
Tasha was sitting up on the bed, facing away from Data. Per his request, she had set him down on the nightstand where he had a clear view of the bed. And also at his request, she had forgone her regular sleeping attire in favour of a short chemise - one of the only risque pieces of clothing she owned and a garment that made her feel truly beautiful.
"Slowly," Data added as Tasha reached for her dressing gown.
Tasha slipped her dressing gown off over her shoulders one at a time. Without his torso unit, Data did not have the ability to simulate breathing.
However, under present circumstances, he surmised this was best as the sight of Tasha undressing before him – for him – was enough to stop his breathing.
"Lie back," Data instructed.
Tasha lowered herself onto the bed and then glanced over at Data, wordlessly conveying that she was more than a little nervous.
"Relax," Data said.
He watched as Tasha's breathing slowed.
"Close your eyes," Data said.
Tasha let Data's voice guide her as she followed his every instruction to caress her thighs, to lift the hem of her chemise just enough to tease him.
She slipped the straps down over her shoulders and cupped her own breasts, arching her back as she listened to the smooth tenor of Data's voice.
"Tell me what you are thinking about," Data requested.
"You," Tasha replied in a heady voice.
"Tell me," Data murmured.
"Your hands," Tasha breathed. "I'm thinking about your beautiful hands."
Tasha shivered as her fingers traced the line of her sternum, down between her breasts, and ghosted over her own erect nipples.
Tasha's left hand dropped between her legs.
"Not yet," Data said, stopping her.
Tasha hand stilled, hovering just at the hemline of her chemise.
Data grinned with delight as she squirmed.
"Data," Tasha said.
Her own desire was starting to get the better of her.
"What do you imagine my hands doing right now?" Data asked.
"On me. Everywhere," Tasha replied, her voice strained by how badly she wanted to feel it.
Tasha squeezed her thighs together, desperate for any friction. Data was utterly captivated. He watched as Tasha writhed around, her hips coming up off the bed to rock against nothing.
She could almost sense Data's breath hot against her ear. She could practically feel his lips on the swell of her breast. Every inch of Tasha's skin tingled with anticipation, longing for Data's touch.
Tasha pawed between her legs and groaned.
"I want you to take me," Tasha pleaded. "I want to feel you against my body."
"More," Data urged.
"I want to feel every inch of you," Tasha went on.
The need was evident in her voice.
"I want you to hold me while I shake apart," Tasha confessed.
Tasha couldn't stand it any longer. She was too aroused. Tasha rolled over onto her stomach and rocked against her hand.
"Data, please," she whimpered.
As he watched her flail, rolling her hips against the bed, Data was struck by an idea.
"Not yet," he said.
Tasha collapsed with a heavy sigh of frustration.
She turned toward Data, and he was delighted by the sight of her – panting, hair askew, partially clothed.
"Sit on my face," Data instructed.
Tasha's eyes went wide.
"What?" she asked, stunned.
It was one of Data's favourite activities. He had once confessed that he got off on the notion of Tasha taking control in the bedroom. He adored being lightly dominated, praised for bringing her pleasure.
In his present state, Data could think of nothing hotter than being wholly at her mercy.
"Please allow me to my lips against your marvellous little cunt," Data said.
She'd taught him sometimes vulgarity made for hot dirty talk and was surprised to him use it in such a context.
"Forgive me, was that too strong?" Data asked, the mood instantly shifting.
Tasha responded with a bashful smile.
"No, I just-" Tasha trailed off.
She chewed on her lip as she eyed Data.
"I-I wasn't expecting you to be so-" she began to say.
"Forward?" Data interjected.
"Hot," Tasha concluded.
Data lifted his eyebrows.
"I want to feel you writher on my tongue," Data said.
Tasha planted one hand firmly against the wall for support as she ground against Data's face.
Held firmly between her thighs, Data had perfect access to his target as he lapped her eager cunt.
"Ah, ah, ah," she panted.
Tasha let her head fall back as Data's tongue laved over her swollen clitoris. His breath was hot between her thighs, spurred on by each noise.
Normally Tasha gasped and panted. She made the most adorable, tiny noises of pleasure.
But tonight was different. Tonight the room was full of the low, throaty groans Data had managed to draw out only a handful of times.
This wasn't only for Tasha – Data needed it too.
He needed to prove to himself that he could still satisfy her.
So he relished not only in the feel of being underneath her, trapped between her legs – but also in every noise, every time her hips bucked.
Data's lips closed around her clit. He was rewarded with a soft, snivelling keen as he began to suck on the overstimulated organ.
Tasha's fingers clutched his hair, wordlessly communicating she was close.
Data flattened his tongue, dragging it over her as he licked and laved, driving Tasha over the edge. His name came out as a choked sob.
Tasha pulled Data out from underneath her and then collapsed onto the bed.
It took her a few moments to come back down to the world.
Tasha held Data out so she could look at him properly.
"You're filthy," she remarked with a lazy smirk.
Data was a sight. His hair was a mess, tousled and completely out of character for the ever-composed, neat as a pin android.
Tasha pulled him into a deep kiss, savouring the taste of herself on his lips and knowing that this was something they both took immense pleasure in sharing.
When they broke apart, Tasha held Data against her bare chest. He was at just the right angle that he could press a tender kiss to the curve of her left breast.
"Thank you," Data said.
Tasha giggled.
"I'm the one that should say thank you," she replied.
"I mean it," Data insisted. "Thank you. I recognise it may sound foolish, but I needed to know that I could still make you happy."
Tasha pulled Data's head up and stared at him – hard.
"That was never in question," Tasha assured him.
Tasha ran her thumb across his cheek.
"You make me feel like I'm the only person in the whole world," Tasha said fondly. "Like nothing else matters except you and me."
Data knew it wasn't a line. Tasha wasn't just saying this for his benefit, she truly meant every word.
"I love you, Data," Tasha whispered before kissing the top of his head.
Deanna glanced over to her desk, checking the time.
"We're almost out of time for our session today. But before we go, I did want to broach a subject that may be difficult," Deanna said.
Tasha was due to depart for the black hole rescue mission in forty-eight hours.
The odds weren't great - but she was determined to try.
And part of that drive to succeed involved not just saving her comrades but saving Data's body as well.
Tasha knew just how important it was to try for Data's sake. Though he was coming to terms with the changes to his body since disassembly, Data dreamed of being re-joined with his torso and limb units.
He disliked the lack of freedom of movement that came with being a disembodied head.
"You don't have to answer this if it is too personal or makes you feel uncomfortable," Deanna said, prefacing her question. "But I wanted to ask how things are going in terms of physical intimacy?"
It had been quite the topic of discussion at Data's private sessions beforehand.
"I know that it was a concern and I recognise this change requires exploring new ways to be intimate with one another," Deanna acknowledged.
Data and Tasha shared a knowing smile.
"I believe we have found a reasonable solution," Data said.
"But we're certainly still exploring," Tasha added, giddy at the prospect.
"Indeed, it would seem unreasonable not to explore all possible permutations," Data went on.
Deanna could sense a warm feeling emanating from both of them.
"So things are going well?" Deanna asked, reading between the lines.
"You could say that we are working through it," Tasha said with a coy smile.
"We must ensure we have sufficient evidence," Data added.
"Alright, alright. I get the idea," Deanna said, waving them off.
She was relieved to hear things were going well between them. Confident that things would work out, Deanna dismissed them until their next group session.
As soon as they were back to Data's quarters, they settled in for the evening with a book. And after three chapters on the latest adventures of Space Cowboy from the Outer Rim, Data was ready to call it a night.
"Are you ready for bed, my dear?" Data asked.
Tasha frowned.
"It's 20:47," Tasha said, checking the time.
"Allow me to rephrase my question – are you ready to assist me in further empirical research?" Data asked.
"Oh," Tasha said.
Data could barely contain his smirk.
"Oh," Tasha repeated as she realised his meaning.
Tasha turned Data so they could look at one another while they spoke.
"You're really not tired of this?" Tasha asked.
"Actually, tonight I was thinking we could incorporate a new element," Data suggested.
"Such as?" Tasha asked.
"Such as watching you sink your keen cunt onto that toy we keep in the nightstand," Data said.
Tasha's face flushed.
She picked Data up, lifting his head so they were eye level.
"You know you're awfully lippy the last few days," Tasha said.
Data feigned innocence.
"I shall have to do something about that mouth," Tasha commented.
"Do not tempt me," Data replied.