CHAPTER 5:
Akito was silent as she waited in the shadows of Kureno's hospital room, wondering vaguely what had spurred her to turn on the only person who had remained by her side consistently for the past few years. Ayame hadn't noticed a single thing when he had been in the room beside the former Rooster. The only visitor that had even noticed a presence other than their own had been Shigure but the Dog hadn't shown his knowledge with anything other than a slight gaze to his right and a quick exit from the room. Akito figured that since none had ventured in recently, the Dog had told them that no one else was allowed in at the time, for weeks there had been no change in the Rooster's condition. A sighed escaped the head of the Sohma family and she rose to approach her companion slowly, placing one foot silently in front of the other, as if it would wake the sleeping Rooster. But it wouldn't. Akito already knew that. She opened her mouth to speak, to say something of meaning to Kureno, but no sound came out and she figured that it was for the better. Akito wasn't one to feel guilt, but at the moment it shrouded her mind and ached dully in the back of her skull.
"Akito?" A soft voice came from the door, causing the slow stride to pause and Akito turned to face the door in slight confusion.
Yuki stared back at her, paler than the head of the family could remember him to be, but otherwise completely fine, as it should be. Akito narrowed her eyes carefully; searching for some sign of hostility in the Rat, when she saw none her shoulders drooped carelessly, unguardedly. She was fine so long as Yuki didn't know the truth, and as long as the only people who knew where still bound to secrecy.
"Yuki." Akito whispered the name escaping her lips fluidly as if she had said it many a time before. This was true; the head of the family was accustomed to saying the Rat's name. After all, Yuki was a gift to her.
"Why did you do this?" Yuki asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he crossed the threshold, bringing himself closer to his living nightmare without a flinch or a shiver. Akito shrugged almost unnoticeably in response and turned her head back to the comatose Rooster with sorrow glinting softly in her eyes. An emotion Yuki was positive the head of the family had never displayed. In fact, the sadness was awkward on Akito, in a way that made Yuki almost pity his elder.
"I don't know." Akito responded reluctantly, her voice weaker than Yuki had remembered and the Rat mentally acknowledged the irony of the weakness in his superior. Akito had finally felt a loss in close equivalent to that of other humans, it was amusing but pitiable.
"They say he may not wake up." Yuki informed him, his voice low and soft as he rested a careful hand on Akito's left shoulder. The head of the family shrugged the Rat away half-heartedly and turned to face away.
"Don't tell me that which I do not wish to now." Akito whispered, her voice cracking softly as she did, the anger that floated around her was weighed down heavily by confusion and despair.
"I wanted to let you know that. Regardless of what you wanted." Yuki replied, he came close behind Akito noticing that he was taller than the other and cast his gaze to the Heart Monitor as it beeped steadily in the rhythm of Kureno's heart. This time Akito turned to face Yuki, her eyes now cloudy prior to tears falling, and Yuki knew that Akito didn't desire the shame of crying before someone who she had intimidated in the years before. That didn't waver the Rat's resolve; he drew Akito against himself and bit his lip to keep from shaking at the familiarity of the weight. Yuki was still utterly terrified of Akito, but his conscience told him that the head of the family needed someone.
"Don't try to make this any better." Akito hissed, pulling herself away and going to the window. "You are a goody-goody and nothing more. I don't want your pity." Akito pulled her coat tightly around her shoulders and leaned her forehead against the cool glass, in the reflection Yuki turned his head to the side as if he had been slapped and bit his lip.
"If I were bad…" Yuki murmured as he focused on the far wall, "If I were to treat you roughly and without mercy. Would that make you feel better?"
"I deserve it." Akito replied lightly as she turned back to face the Rat.
"What you deserve… Is someone who will understand you." Yuki countered, he came forward and pulled Akito into a hug that the head of the family couldn't have escaped had she even wanted to. Yuki was shaking in fear but something in him told him not to let go and that if he did Akito would break. Something else occurred to him, Akito was also shaking but with a force that the Rat couldn't even imagine.
"What I deserve?" Akito whispered softly she pulled away from the loosening grasp and turned away, she held her arms over his stomach and tilted her head, "There is something I need to show you."
Yuki tilted his head to the side mimicking Akito's movement to a muscle, curiosity was supposed to kill the cat not the rat. The Rat heard himself ask what that could be and Akito tensed visibly before going back to the window.
"Take me home." Akito responded as she tapped his fingers on the windowsill, she turned back to Yuki and smiled weakly, "Please."
The Rat nodded and went to the head of the family yet again to embrace her tightly, Akito suddenly fisted Yuki's pale grey shirt in one hand and started to tremble again before pulling back to look into the Rat's purple eyes.
"What is it?" Yuki asked as he brushed stray hairs away from Akito's eyes and smiling reassuringly to the other. Akito stared back carefully and her eyes welled up with tears, Yuki allowed his mouth to open in surprise at the tears now sliding two at a time down Akito's pale cheeks, "Akito…"
"I hurt him!" Akito wailed, throwing herself against Yuki as she did, "Like everyone! I hurt him… like I did Hatori's eye and Rin and Kisa!"
"Shh…"
"No! I never wanted to hurt them, I just did… I just… I hurt them without thinking…" Akito was confused as to why this all came out, why she was saying such things to Yuki and why she was so upset about it all, "Ren… she wants me to fail. She wants you all to hate me! She did it on purpose!"
"You said you hate women." Yuki whispered ruffling a few ebony locks as he did so.
"I hate Ren!" Akito corrected, her eyes closing slowly.
"Let me take you home." Yuki suggested softly.
Akito nodded and smiled at the Rat, "I don't want any of you to suffer because of a child such as me… not anymore."
"That is a mature decision for the child you claim to be." Yuki responded as he cupped a tear stained cheek in his hand.
Something inside shattered and Akito collapsed to her knees with a soft moan of pain, chains that wound together were broken and something was set free. Hatori froze on his way down the hall and with hesitation stared at his palms in confusion, he turned back to the other Juunishi to see that none of the others but Haru were looking themselves over. Yuki dropped to the floor to hoist Akito back up into his arms, but the girl would not look at him.
"What is it?" Yuki whispered, his eyes searching the broken girl. Still not knowing her secrets.
"Take me home." Akito pleaded, placing her palms on his chest and lift her head to brush her lips across his, "Please… take me home."
Yuki nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her, slowly stepping forward to the door and allowing her to pass first. Seeing Hatori standing silently in the hallway examining himself Yuki redirected the head of the family to the back stairs and they emerge into the drizzle from the entrance only moments later. The rat removed his jacket and wrapped it around the frail form of his living nightmare and helped her to sit in his car. Turning the key in the ignition the car hummed to life and Yuki reached to turn the heater on, a pale hand resting atop his as if to stop him caused him to freeze in mid reach. Akito shook her head and motioned at the gearshift then lowered her hand shakily to her lap, staring thoughtfully at it.
"Are you sure… you are okay?" Yuki whispered, leaning across her to lock the passenger's side door and resting his cheek briefly against her shoulder to feel her shaking almost imperceptibly.
"I… killed him… didn't I?" Akito whispered her eyes meeting Yuki's as she did so.
The rat didn't respond, he just shifted the car into reverse and back slowly out of the parking spot, looking over his shoulder as he did so, leaving Akito to her thoughts. She eyed Yuki carefully, lifted her pale hand from her lap and traced it gently over the glove compartment. When Yuki turned back to shift into drive he caught the subtly scrutinizing stare and quickly jerked the gearshift into drive and pressed on the accelerator.
"You didn't kill anyone." Yuki responded slowly, glancing at the girl as he slowed to a stop at a red light,
"I almost did… once…" Akito pointed out, her hand resting on the dash.
"Never Kureno… you wouldn't kill Kureno…" Yuki insisted, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he jumped out into traffic and pressed the accelerator.
Akito silenced and drew her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees she closed her eyes and tried not to think about it. She didn't WANT to think about it… but the memory of Kureno's eyes clouding as he realized what had happened, the roughness of the ceramic teapot as she lifted it mindlessly into her hand. How it scraped against her fingertips as it sailed from her hands with the force of her swinging arm. The clatter of clay shattering against skull, the absence of a pained response from her lover, her heart breaking into pieces as the man fell forward, blood soaking his light blue shirt.