Krillin's High School Diaries

Chapter 5: Lunch Time

I made my way downstairs after finding one of the stairwells on the upper floor, one of my few accomplishments of the day besides surviving both my first and second periods. The cafeteria was easier to locate, seeing how it was one of the larger rooms in the school but like the campus, it was crowded with a horde of students in different social groups all talking, eating or buying food.

With my backpack still slung on my shoulders, I made my way in as a baby rabbit amidst a wild forest of wolves and foxes. I decided to bypass the long lunch lines and find a table to sit at first. After a careful observation, I noticed Yamcha, Tien and Chaozu at a table by themselves.

Walking over, I was silently happy when they noticed and greeted me as I approached, signifying that I had at least struck common ground and made friends with other people.

"Hey, what's up Krillin?" Yamcha smiled.

I sighed as I found and took a seat, "Nothing, just doing my best to stay alive."

Yamcha shrugged, "Eh, we've all been there."

Tien, meanwhile, was beatboxing as Chaozu created freestyles to go along with his uncanny and old school beat,

"Yo, yo, yo. My name is Chaozu, mind your mouth foo', else you might get popped like a cop for…uh-uh… actin' not coo'…"

Though the two were feeling a "vibe" from each other, Yamcha and I could tell from the surrounding tables that Tien and Chaozu were really beginning to become more of an annoyance rather than our embarrassment.

"Hey look, there's Piccolo!" Yamcha pointed as the teenage Namekian walked up to the table and sat down next to me.

"Aw, P. You made a big mistake sitting here, son." Tien grumbled.

Chaozu nodded, "Word. Don't you think that we didn't forget that beef we got wit cha, boyyy."

"I almost forgot that I still had to deal with you two. Don't worry, I'll whup the both of you after I'm done." Piccolo grinned while shuffling away his tray of cafeteria food with one hand and opening the bottle of water he carried in the other.

"Hey, aren't you hungry, Piccolo?" I asked.

Piccolo exhaled after taking a large gulp of water, "Namekians don't eat, all we need is water to sustain our bodies. Besides, even if we did, I'd never eat this crap, the lunch ladies will force it on somebody to buy a full meal when all one would want is just a single simple item."

I looked at the food in Piccolo's lunch tray and it seemed appetizing enough to me, besides, the growl of my stomach only added to my decision to ask Piccolo for his abandoned lunch, "Hey Piccolo, you don't mind if…?"

"Knock yourself out." Piccolo replied, perceiving my question.

Grabbing the lunch tray, I dug in with the plastic fork that rested on the side of the tray.

"You really should watch out with some of that stuff you eat, Krillin, I hear that they keep the same food overnight for a week sometimes." Yamcha spoke as he watched me eat.

Maybe it was because I was hungry that I decided not to heed Yamcha's word till I was finally finished with the tray and a strange, painful rumbling echoed from inside my guts, "Ouuuu…" I groaned as I hugged my abdomen.

"Uh oh…" Yamcha spoke, "…looks like you caught a case of bad cafeteria food."

"P set him up!" Chaozu snarled.

"Yeah, I knew he was a punk!" Tien added.

"What!" Piccolo slammed down his bottle of water, "I did no such thing!"

"Tell it to my fist!" Tien exclaimed as he threw a punch straight over the table at Piccolo, who, was well able to see the attack from a mile and stop it with his hand before Tien's knuckle could even touch his nose.

"That's it, I've had it with you two!" Piccolo yelled as he began powering up while still holding Tien's fist.

"Yeah, about time ya'll fought!" Yamcha cried.

Piccolo strengthened his clutch on Tien fist and used it to throw Tien in the air, where, using super speed, he teleported and began beating up on Tien mercilessly from all sides while the three-eyed teen was still vertically rising.

"Tien, hold on, your boy's coming!" Chaozu yelled as he flew into the air.

Piccolo, being too preoccupied on taking out all his anger on Tien, never saw Chaozu as he flew onto the side of Piccolo's face with a roundhouse kick. The attack threw the Namekian back some and stopped his assault on Tien for just enough time for him to recover alongside Chaozu.

All the students including some of the teachers like Mr. Garlic Jr. and Mr. Bojack, watched the fight amusedly without putting a hand in to stop it. I, meanwhile, was too busy suffering with my sudden stomachache that I had to leave the cafeteria immediately to locate the nearest bathroom.

I wobbled into the first bathroom I saw and came across a kid at a urinal, usually I had always been too shy to take a dump in school but the painful cramps in my stomach urged me to immediately enter one of the stalls, pull down my pants and sit down on the toilet to relieve myself.

But just before I could begin, I heard the loud, raucous laughter of a group of teenage boys as they entered the bathroom.

"Eh Captain, look what we have here." An Australian-accented voice spoke up first.

"Yeah I see him, Jeice. Looks like a fresh fish is using the Senior hall bathroom." A deep, guttural voice spoke next.

Although I couldn't see the guys speaking, I could hear the whimpers of one of the fellow Freshman and share his fear in getting caught as underclassmen unexpectedly and unknowingly in a upperclassmen bathroom.

"Know who we are, Freshman? We're the Ginyus and we run this school." Another mysterious voice sounded.

A flashback suddenly occurred back to the following morning when Goku and I arrived on campus and he showed me the group of bullies known as the "Ginyus".

"Hey, hey, guys, the Freshman, here, is trying to take a piss, maybe we should let him take his time."

There was silence in the bathroom for moment, "NOT!" The Ginyus yelled in unison. I cringed as I heard the Freshman scream in pain while the Ginyus chanted, "ATOMIC WEDGIE! ATOMIC WEDGIE! ATOMIC WEDGIE! ATOMIC WEDGIE!"

The fear was just so much that when I remembered why I was sitting on the toilet, my stomach just let loose. The reverberation of large, prolonged farting combined with watery defecation and the intoxicating smell produced thereof, stopped the Ginyus in the middle of their unholy chant.

"Ugghh, that smell, I…I can't breathe!" The voice now recognized as Jeice cried out.

"I thought I made some nasty dumps, but this is the worst! C'mon let's get out of here!" The voice labeled as "Captain" yelled as he and his cohorts ran out the bathroom.

Trickles of sweat poured down my baldhead as I took a deep exhale, slightly exhausted from my sudden outburst. Cleaning myself up, I flushed the toilet and stepped out the bathroom stall. There, I saw the nearly unconscious Freshman who had suffered a painful atomic wedgie all the way to the top of his head.

I did my best to help him and pulled his underwear off his head while helping him up to his feet.

"Thanks for the help, dude, you saved my life." The kid hugged me.

"No problem." I nervously chuckled as I softly backed him off me.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable there. Anyway, my name is Yajirobe."

He held out his hand for a more formal gesture, "Krillin." I smiled taking hold of his hand and shaking it.

"I just wish I could have my katana with me in school, that way, nobody would mess with me." Yajirobe grumbled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, brown, duffel bag, "My butt is so sore…" He winced while opening the bag and pulling out a small, green-colored bean.

He popped the bean in his mouth and took a deep sigh, "Ahh, much better." He smiled.

I blinked, "Did that bean really just heal you right now?"

Yajirobe nodded, "You might want one too. I can tell from you experience in all sorts of pooping problems that from the dump you just took now, it'll hit you again just as bad within the next fifteen minutes."

At that, I held out my hand quickly, "I'll take one."

I ate the green bean and almost immediately felt its effects as it traveled down into my stomach, "Wow, those are no ordinary beans."

"No doubt, they're Senzu beans. They'll heal anyone hurting with some sort of physical ailment." Yajirobe smiled.

"Well thanks, Yajirobe, I guess I'll be on my way back to the cafeteria." I waved to Yajirobe as I began to leave the bathroom.

"Yeah, I better leave this place too, I don't want what happened to me here to happen again." Yajirobe squealed, following behind me out the bathroom. We left our separate ways but as I approached the cafeteria doors, they flung open in my face and released a stampede of students all chatting excitedly,

"…man do you believe that fight?…"

"…Piccolo totally won…"

"…are you serious? Tien and Chaozu totally did him in…"

"…what happened to them?…"

"…got suspended from what I heard of…"

Until the last student finally left, the door pressure that had sandwiched me to a nearby wall finally released me, "Well…" I hobbled dazedly, "…guess that means First Lunch is over."

END OF CHAPTER FIVE