Krillin's High School Diaries
Chapter 8: After School
The last dismissal bell of the day rang and hordes of teenaged youth pushed and shoved their way out the doors of Dragon High School to engage in their first after school activities of the year.
The Ginyus found themselves egging Vice-Principal Dodoria's car whilst Bulma consoled her injured boyfriend with hugs and kisses, as they walked into the school parking lot towards her car. Oolong ritualistically cleaned the blood off the football field with Coca-Cola and Broly, tired of flirting with cheerleaders, vaporized his former groupies and moved onto the next big thing, Volleyball players. Yamcha, however, returned to the Fieldhouse from Nurse Dende, just in time to catch me, Goku, Piccolo, Tien and Chaozu as we prepared to leave.
Making our way back to school campus as walked from the Fieldhouse, a kid accidentally ran into Piccolo, roughly, causing a thin case to fall out of his pocket. An annoyed Piccolo quickly vaporized the kid in a heartbeat but Tien, who had been cautiously strolling behind Piccolo, recognized the case as a CD album and quickly picked it up.
"Yo, P., you like Mariah Carey, son?" Tien exclaimed.
Piccolo blushed a deep red, "Uhh…I-I can explain…"
Me, Goku and Yamcha barely had time to hold in our snickers before Tien and Chaozu both busted out loudly, "WE LOVE MARIAH CAREY, TOO, YO!" The validity of their surprising statement was soon enforced as they both began singing one of Mariah Carey's songs in the middle of the school campus, "WHEN YOU LEFT I LOST A PART OF ME… IT'S STILL SO HARD TO BELIEVE…COME BACK BABY PLEASE, 'CAUSE WE BELONG TOGETHER!"
Obviously, Piccolo's past embarrassment, surprise, hostility and anger toward Tien and Chaozu throughout day till now must have subsided all at once, because he quickly joined in on their tune with a wide grin on his face, "I LOVE THAT SONG TOO! …WHO ELSE AM I GOING TO LEAN ON WHEN TIMES GET ROUGH…WHO'S GOING TO TALK TO ME ON THE PHONE TILL THE SUN COMES UP…WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOUR PLACE? THERE AINT NOBODY BETTER…OH, BABY, BABY…WE BELONG TOGETHER!"
Yamcha covered his face, "Oh God…we'll at least it seems like they're friends again…" He sighed, "…better get them out of here before they embarrass us anymore." Yamcha reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys, "See you guys tomorrow." He waved at Goku and me just as he began to corral the humiliatingly harmonic Piccolo, Tien and Chaozu towards the parking lot.
About that same moment I heard Goku grunt in pain beside me as a fierce hand grabbed him by the ear, "Where do you think you're going mister?" Chichi growled.
"Uhh…home?" Goku smiled nervously.
"You mean my home! Gohan's been crying for his daddy almost all summer!" Chichi snarled.
"All right, I'm sorry, Chichi. But hey, to make up for it, I'm gonna go apply at that McDonalds near your house."
"Really...?" Chichi's eyes brightened as she softened her grip on Goku's ear, "...you'll try to get a job?"
Goku nodded, "Yeah, I know how much your dad likes McNuggets, anyway."
"Oh Goku!" Chichi smiled as fully let go of Goku's ear, much to his satisfaction, and wrapped her arms around his torso.
I stared blankly at the loving scene as Goku grinned at me while giving a "thumbs up" sign over Chichi's shoulder.
"Let's have another kid, Goku. This time after we finish High School and get married." Chichi cooed.
Goku scratched his head then shrugged, "Ehh…okay."
Chichi then began to slowly pull Goku away from me, by his hand, while strolling and keeping up the conversation, "If it's a boy, we'll name him Goten. If it's a girl, we'll name her…uh…"
"…Britney!" Goku cried, "All the girls these days are named Britney."
Chichi rubbed her chin, "Yeah…Britney sounds good."
"Hey, Goku, are you leaving?" I finally spoke up, seeing Goku and Chichi walk further and further away from me.
He looked back at me, "Yeah Krillin, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow, bye!" Goku waved.
"Yeah…see ya!" I waved back, taking a deep sigh after realizing that I was by myself at the end of the day.
However, I was able to make my way back to school bus lines and reentered the same school bus driven by the lecherous Mr. Roshi. Sitting down by myself in my own seat, this time, I tried my best to recline as the school bus engine started and Mr. Roshi pulled out his Playboy magazine.
Turning my head to the right, I looked through the bus windows at the frame of Dragon High School in the distance, just like when I first arrived and felt a sense of relief as I survived my very first day of High School.
That same year I'd go on to earn my first letterman jacket for being the Varsity Football team Quarterback. The Shenlongs would go on to another State Championship, led by Broly, mostly, but with a little of my QB skills here and there, and finished off an undefeated season in an easy yet bloody victory against Arlia Academy.
Eighteen and I began talking with each other more and eventually she became my first girlfriend. By the time Senior Prom came around, she had me grow out my hair till finally a black bush rested on my scalp. Flash-forward a couple of years later and we're both married with a young daughter.
Bulma and Vegeta would remain a couple throughout and after High School, even going as far as marrying each other by the end of their Junior year. Their love knew no further bounds as Bulma turned down a full academic scholarship to Harvard and took up her family business with Capsule Corporation just in order to live close with Vegeta, who had no plan to continue any further schooling after he ended his formal education on the basis of "destroying the next person or thing that tries to teach him something."
But of course, Bulma's decision to refuse such a prestigious college as Harvard was mostly spurned due to the fact that she found out she was two months pregnant in the middle of her Senior year.
Broly was drafted into the NFL immediately after High School but was soon banned after massacring many players on various opposing teams and causing all sorts of lawsuits against the National Football League. Since then, he has accepted an offer from Vince McMahon to be in the WWF and now is one of premier wrestlers under the name of "The Legendary Super Saiyan."
Tien and Chaozu stopped acting like thugs after their Sophomore year, much to Piccolo's delight. However, they explored new avenues in which to express themselves through the rest of their High School years and even went to go see the opening of Brokeback Mountain when it first premiered in the movie theatres.
Goku barely managed to graduate with his class but like he and Chichi both planned, they went on to marry and had another kid after High School, a son, which they named Goten, accordingly. However, Goku soon lost his job at McDonalds after two weeks due to the fact that various orders of Happy Meals, Big Macs, Cheeseburgers and McNuggets were all mysteriously disappearing before reaching all the customers serviced by Goku, himself.
But soon after that, Goku auditioned to be a stuntman in a major Martial Arts movie and made a name for himself in Hollywood after showing off his tremendous Martial Art skills in one of the movie scenes where he accidentally beat up Jackie Chan and Jet Li at the same time.
Piccolo stayed his calm and collected self through High School, never showing much care or concern for anything, even when he was indicted into the National Honor Society or was elected "Sexiest Man of the Week" by the Cheerleaders who replaced the former ones killed by Broly. Likewise, not much was heard from him after High School but all that I know is that he, Chaozu and Tien regularly meet to attend the Mariah Carey concerts when she comes into town on tour.
Yamcha was a ladies man during High School and used his same charm and looks after High School to work his way into becoming a backup dancer for Jennifer Lopez before eventually making headlines by becoming one of her latest boyfriends. They split the next month.
Oolong remained an avid Dragon High School football fan throughout and after High School, even divorcing his wife and mother of two kids just because she made him miss one of the regular season games by breaking down his car.
It's funny how time passes by so quickly when in High School, but when I look back, no matter how messed up my classmates were, no matter how maliciously homicidal my teachers acted, no matter how embarrassing different events could be throughout the school year, my years in Dragon High School were the best times of my life.
THE END