Chapter 14 My world is a mess

All that I was, all that I ever wanted to be went out the door that night. I lost all that was my life. One mistake can change lives. This wasn't even my mistake though. Why did I have to know her so well? Why do I have to endure all of this pain? All that is left of me is just a terrible mess and I don't know what to do. I miss her and I will never be the same with out her. She was my best friend, and she got killed because of drinking and driving. I should have been there. I should have never abandoned her. I miss her so much and I haven't seen her in years. Why did we have to loose touch? Why did I have to move to Westchester, New York in the first place? All I want is my old life back. I left it and when I turned back around to grab it, it wasn't there.

Krissy closed her journal because tears were rolling down her face and were smudging the ink. She walked back over to her bed and just lay down and started sobbing. She couldn't control herself. Frankie walked in because he had just heard the news. He saw his little sister sitting on the bed and it broke his heart. He walked over to her and held her in his arms. Krissy at this point completely broke down.

"I am such a terrible friend. How could I have lost touch like that? Frankie I miss her so much and now I will never be able to talk to her again!" Krissy said tears pouring down from her eyes.

"Don't say that. You can't blame yourself for what Kali did. She didn't drink and drive because of you." Frankie said softly.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT! I AM THE WORST FRIEND THERE EVER COULD BE!" Krissy said pulling away from her brother and grabbing her keys and running down the steps.

"KRISSY! NO STAY HERE! YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS! DRIVING RIGHT NOW IS NOT THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO!" Frankie yelled running after his younger sister.

She ran out the door and got in her car and drove off before he could stop her. He ran back inside and his parents were standing at the base of the stairs.

"Frankie, what is going on?" Mr. Galasso asked worried.

"She ran off. She is in her car. I have to go find her. She could get hurt or even killed and I will hold myself responsible for that if she does. I would never forgive myself." Frankie said while grabbing his keys and running out to his car.

Frankie drove around to all the spots that he could think of to find his sister. She wasn't at any of them. He wasn't going to give up though. He was not going to lose his sister. He pulled out his cell and dialed Jesse's number.

"Hello?" Jesse asked.

"Hey man, it's Frankie. I need your help…" Frankie said explaining the whole situation.

"Oh my God, I am coming out to help you find her. I can't lose her." Jesse said.

Frankie was very surprised that Jesse was so worried about Krissy. Jesse and Krissy broke up awhile ago. It was because Krissy made new friends and was getting into some things that Jesse didn't agree with.

"Ok, I'm in your driveway right now." Frankie said.

"Okay, I am coming right now bye!" Jesse said hanging up the phone.

He ran down the stairs and then ran out the door. He saw that Frankie was in the driveway and he jumped in shot gun into his car. The two started to drive off.

"Where do you think that she would be?" Frankie asked.

"Did you try the park?" Jesse asked.

"NO! How idiotic am I?" Frankie asked speeding over to the park.

The two got out and started running around the park looking for Krissy. Then they saw her. She was sitting under a tree and she had a knife in her hand. It was about to cut her wrist when…

"NO!" Jesse yelled.

Krissy looked up with make up running down her face. She saw Frankie and Jesse there. Before she could get up and run off, Frankie grabbed the knife.

"You CANNOT kill yourself!" Frankie yelled.

"Why the hell not?" Krissy asked trying to grab the knife out of Frankie's hand but she didn't succeed.

No one answered her though. Frankie grabbed Krissy's keys off the ground and then threw them to Jesse.

"Drive her car back to my house; I'll handle getting her home." Frankie said and Jesse nodded.

Jesse walked off and went to find her car. Frankie grabbed Krissy's wrists and then dragged her over to his car. He put her in the passenger's seat and then hit the child-lock before closing the door. He walked around and got it in the driver's seat and locked his door and then turned to his sister.

"I know you are a mess right now, but that is not what you need to be doing!" Frankie said.

"Yea, well why did you get Jesse to come. Couldn't you have gotten one of the other guys to come?" Krissy asked.

"I called Jesse and asked if he had any clues as to your location. He was the one that offered to come with." Frankie said, "Krissy he still cares about you."

"I guess…Ok look I promise that I won't do anything to the extremes again…can we keep that little event from mom and dad?" Krissy asked hopefully, "They will freak out and watch my every little move of mine now."

"No way in hell am I keeping that little episode away from mom and dad, right now their watch might be just what you need." Frankie said.

Krissy sighed and silent tears slid down her face. Frankie started the car and started to drive home. Once they got there he dragged Krissy into the house with him. Their parents were waiting anxiously for their return. They both immediately gave Krissy a hug. Then they walked into the office with her and Frankie.

The next morning Krissy woke up. The night before she had cried herself to sleep. Today was the first day of her sophomore year of high school. She had to look like she still had it all even though she was all torn up inside. She looked in the mirror to make sure that her eyes were not red. Fortunately for her they weren't.

Krissy went to her closet but luckily didn't have to choose what to wear. Today there was a cheerleading pep-rally at school and she had to wear her cheerleading uniform. The school colors were blue, silver, and white. She pulled her hair up into a high pony and then put a blue ribbon with silver sparkles in it.

She walked down the steps and all of her family looked at her as soon as she became visible to them.

"Hey hunnie, how are you feeling today?" Mrs. Magathan asked.

"As good as I can get I guess. Well I have to get going." Krissy said and walked out before any one could say anymore to her.

She got into her car, but then realized that her keys were in the house. Frankie walked out with them and then hopped in the passenger's seat.

"What are you doing? Don't you have your own car?" Krissy asked.

"Yea, I do…but mom and dad want me to go with you today." Frankie said and Krissy rolled her eyes.

"What the heck is with the whole watching my every move thing, it is annoying already…AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN A DAY!" Krissy said turning on the radio.

"You almost killed yourself yesterday…I think that should be reason enough." Frankie said and Krissy sighed.

She backed out of the driveway and then she put an AFI cd. Then she drove to their local public high school, Ardsley High. Upon arrival she saw her best friend's standing where she had promised to meet them. She got out and walked over to where they were. On her way she got stopped though.

"Krissy…I heard what happened… I am so sorry!" Becka said coming up to her old best friend.

"Yea, whatever." Krissy said walking off and over to her friends.

Frankie saw what happened and walked over to where Becka stood. She looked almost in tears.

"Don't worry…it's not just you. She is shutting us all out right now. The only people she let's in are Bridget, Brooke and Carmen." Frankie said.

Becka nodded still upset though.

"Come on; let's meet up with the other guys. Just ignore her attitude." Frankie said and Becka nodded and followed.

Krissy walked over to her fellow cheerleaders: Bridget, Brooke, and Carmen.

"Hey guys what's up?" Krissy asked faking happiness in her voice.

"Cheer this year is so going to rock! JV BABY! Sophomores!" Brooke said laughing. (A.N. At this school Freshman can only be on Freshman Squad, Sophomores can only be on JV, and Juniors and Seniors are on Varsity)

Krissy laughed. Her friends were so awesome sometimes. She did miss Becka a lot though. If only she could get Becka to join the peppy part of the school in stead of being in the jock side. Becka and her friends all played a bunch of sports.

"Come on guys, I have to go to my locker." Krissy said and looked over where Becka was.

They both caught eye contact for a second, but then Krissy broke it and walked off with her friends.

"I miss my best friend so much; it is so lonely with out her." Becka said to the guys.

"Yea…I miss my normal sister." Frankie said.

"The girl I used to date." Jesse said.

"The girl I could joke around with." Matt said.

"The girl who would hold on to me when she was scared when Jesse wasn't there." Greg said.

"The girl who was so happy and open and I could go to if I needed help with girls…well Becka." Chris said and Becka looked at him oddly and then smiled and kissed him.

"So it is decided, we have to get the old Krissy Magathan back and SOON!" Jesse said.

Everyone else nodded in agreement.