Chapter 2

Have you ever tried to Google "lonely"?
It gives you 51 400 000 hits in 0,13 seconds. It makes you wonder; if you could Google all the lonely people in the world, how many hits would you get in 0,13 seconds?
And why are all these people putting "lonely" on their websites? Is it because they are all lonely, or because the word is overused?

Jade closed her diary, she should be sleeping, but she couldn't. Last night she had stayed down at the beach until three o'clock in the morning, and she had been so tired in the morning her so-called family had been suspicious. They couldn't find out about her trips down to the water at night, somehow Jade felt that it had to be a secret between her and the ocean.
When Rhys had frowned and asked if sh had slept at all Jade had decided not to og down to the beach tonight. It was too risky, she didn't want anyone to know about it.

There was something so wonderfully addictive about the beach at night, and every time she closed her eyes and tried to sleep now she heard the waves in her head.
After moving around in her bed for half an hour she finally fell asleep.

Jade had only been sleeping for a fifteen minutes when she woke up, panicing and not able to breathe.
She needed air so desperately, it hurt so bad!
Trying to get more oxygen she placed the pillow under her neck so her head was lower than her chest, and her neck was fully stretched, but it didn't work.
She got out of bed and ran over to the window, gasping for fresh air.
Tears ran down her face because she was exhausted from panicing and the feeling of not being able to breathe.
She could finally breathe again, but she had to be silent, trying to catch her breath. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. She had to be silent, because she knew that if she got back in bed she wouldn't be able to breathe again. She had to get down to the beach.

It was raining outside, but it didn't matter to her. As long as she got her dark, silent and cold nighthours down by the water there could be a thunderstorm, and she wouldn't care.

She could breathe here, and she could be all alone. Lately she felt more lonely among people than she did being alone on a dark and cold beach in the middle of the night.
It was a depressing thought, it needed to be washed away!
So she started running, out in the water, away from her thoughts. She didn't stop until the water was covering her shoulders, then she turned around and started walking back to the beach.

Since she hadn't taken her clothes off when she ran into the water it was freezing to stand at the beach. But she didn't care, she just needed to stare at the endless ocean.
Tonight she wasn't going back at all.

Somewhere out there there was a light. It was probably from a boat, far out there.
"Please don't let that light disappear," she whispered to the ocean. She had a feeling that light needed to be there for everything to be all right.

She didn't feel stupid when she talked to the ocean anymore.
She used to feel stupid, especially the first time. But now it felt natural, the ocean kept her secrets. It was even better than writing in her diary, because no one could ever read her secrets from the dark water.
It was just like when she cried. Her tears fell into the water, and the ocean kept it, but no one would ever be able to track them down and find them in all the water.

The light was still there, and she kept watching it.
No, tonight she was definitely not going back at all.