Chapter 3

The light was there all night, and didn't disappear before it was drowned by the bright sunlight of the dawn.

She kept her promise to the water and the light; she didn't go home, didn't sleep and didn't sit down. She just stood there in the dark, feeling the water washing over her feet and legs.

When she finally decided to go home in the morning her legs felt numb from standing in the cold water, and she had to sit down and let the sunlight warm them up before she could walk.

"Where have you been, we have been so worried!" Rhys said when she entered the kitchen. Uh-oh, he knew she hadn't been in her bed. She could lie and tell him she went out early, but what if he knew she had been gone all night?

All the Hunters were gathering around Rhys, and they were all waiting for an answer.

"I," Jade began, deciding to go out on a limb, "I just went for an early swim."

"Your hair isn't wet," Robbie pointed out. Damn that smart boy!

"After swimming I sat at the beach and watched the sunrise," she said. She even surprised herself by sounding so cold and nonchalant.

Usually she wouldn't use a tone like that at all, but answer in a polite and nice way.

"Oh, sorry then," Robbie said.

Rhys looked at her, and for a second Jade thought he didn't believe her.

"It's true!" she almost shouted, again surprising herself with this different way of talking to her family.

"I believe you, sweetheart," Rhys said quickly. Jade could see from the look on his face that he was in the supportive mood. He wanted to sit down, maybe have a nice father-daughter conversation over a cup of coffee. Jade didn't want that, so she escaped from the kitchen and up the stairs to her room.

She was still high on the fresh air from the beach, and falling asleep wasn't a problem at all.

They had discussed it so many times, and they all agreed. Jade could live wherever she wanted. If she wanted to stay in Summer Bay Rhys and Beth would be more than happy to have her there, and if she wanted to move to the City and live with Shelley that was fine too.

"But you probably want to know whether Nick is moving to the City or not before you make up your mind," Rhys said, as he always did when they had this conversation.

Jade didn't really join in when the subject was brought up. It seemed like they cared more about it than she did. They seemed to think this was a problem that needed to be solved.

But what if she could just stop the time somehow? No, not stop the time, just keep on living and don't think about this stuff. Even though it was a part of her now, it could be possible to live on like they used to?

All this stuff, was there really any need to find a solution to everything when it hadn't been a problem before?

When she didn't join the conversation they became worried. They started looking at her, asking questions, demanding answers.

Jade didn't have answers, and she didn't like the questions nor the looks they gave her. So she joined in, mumbeled some answers, muttered "yes", and "sure" every once in a while, and told Rhys she would decide what to do when Nick had made up his mind.

To get rid of the lonely and dark feeling these conversations, and just being in the house in general gave her, she escaped down to the beach as soon as she could get out.

"They gave me a better offer," Nick said. Jade turned around. She had no idea how long she had been at the beach. It could be five minutes, an hour or a week. Time disappeared when the seagulls screamed and the waves sang about secrets and loneliness.

"So are you moving to the city then?" she replied, trying to get rid of the hollow and distant voice her silent conersations with the ocean gave her.

"Yes, I think so," he said and sat down next to her in the sand.

"Are you going with me?"

Jade started out from the coast and in to eternity again.

"I don't know," she said.

"So are you moving in with mum now that Nick is going to the City?" Dani asked, making a cup of tea for Jade.

Jade had been wandering around with no destination after the conversation with Nick, and ended up at the Palace.

"If I move to the City," she said, for the first time speaking her mind about the subject to anyone but the waves, "The who am I?"

Dani sat down, "What do you mean?" she said, trying to get eye contact with her sister.

"It's just," Jade began, it felt so scary to talk about this, exposing herself for the danger opening up to people could be, "I'm still me if I stick to my old life in Summer Bay."

"You will always be," Dani said, "Even if you want to become more close to the DeGroots you will still be you. You will always be Jade!"

Jade took a sip of the tea. It tasted like bitter wine. She didn't answer, the only thing she could think about was the next thing she was going to ask the ocean;

"Maybe I'll always be Jade, the question is Jade Who?