"The cloud is located here in the…" Major Davis drowns on and on and ON! I mean really, can't he just give the directions to the command centre and get on with our instructions!

Okay maybe I'm just a little frustrated today. And why shouldn't I be? I'm sitting here listening to a briefing about a gas cloud, I've just found out that Carter's feelings all along had just been a rouse to keep her from taking a chance with someone else, I have the worst hang over I've had since that incident with the ageing nano things, this briefing is making my headache worse! And to top it all off, I'm not even sure what happened last night.

Last night… all I can remember is watching that chainsaw movie. For some reason, only Carter and I were watching it. I remember her sitting beside me, making comments about how their reactions weren't right and how they would really be behaving when they were under that kind of stress. I remember Daniel being passed out on the couch and I remember Teal'c leaving. Janet left shortly after Daniel had passed out and I could have sworn I dozed off in Daniel's armchair! But this mourning…

"Jack! Sam! Get up; we have to be at the base in an hour!" Daniel yells as he runs through his bedroom and locks himself in the ensuite before anyone could get in first.

I groan and force my eyes open. My visions still blurry and my heads pounding so when I see Carter in front of my eyes, I think it's all in my mind. I take a deep breath through my nose and my eyes clear. I can smell the perfume she'd been wearing last night and it is now undeniable. I'm in bed with my second in command!

I place my hand against her cheek and feel the soft, warmth of her skin. I do this more out of curiosity then anything else, I feel the need to prove to myself that she is real.

Before I had moved my hand, it had been settled around her waist and now that it has left there, she subconsciously tightens her arms around me and pulls closer to gain that little bit of extra warmth.

This closeness is too frightening for me to just let her sleep. The fact that we all have to be at the base in an hour has become irrelevant and the main dilemma is the fact that I have a woman clinging to me as she sleeps, like I'm a teddy bear or body pillow!

Admittedly, I'm comfortable. Actually, I find myself wishing Daniel and the briefing would just go away and let us sleep… but something must be done.

"Ahmm" I cough and see her eyes flicker at the sound so I gently tap her cheek. She opens her eyes and for a brief moment I see a smile on her face, but it disappears quickly as the confusion dawns on her.

"Sir?" she asks as she loosens her grip around me and leans back to try and see more clearly, probably checking to see if I'm real. I panic, not knowing what to say or how to react, so I just say the only thing I know for sure right now.

"We're going to be late for the briefing" hmm was that the right thing to say? I can't remember anything, I don't have a clue how I got here and as far as I know nothing happened, but I'm fairly sure Carter hadn't been drinking last night.

I doubt anything happened but if something did, she would know and if she remembered, she might be offended by me not. She probably wouldn't have wanted the first thing for me to say be about a briefing. A reminder that what is going on between us is against regulations, probably isn't the best thing to say when you've just woken up in each other's arms now is it Jack?

She slides her arms out from around me and I pull my arms away from her, flinching as it now dawns on me that my other hand had been resting on the small of her back with my fingers tucked just under the brim of her pajama pants. She noticed me flinch and is now bowing her head in embarrassment. We push away from each other silently, we climb out of the bed and neither of us says a word as we get dressed and ready to return to our lives at the SGC.

… I find myself staring at Carter as I remember this morning's events, retrace my steps last night and remember what she had said on the tape. Her willingness to let me go if she only knew if I didn't return her feelings, her willingness to quit her job just to be with me and her willingness to accept the thought that she never really did have those feelings, that it had all just been an excuse to keep from seeing other people.

I find myself wondering what did happen, or what could have happened had I not reminded her of the implications that us waking up together had.

I find myself imagining her turning off the movie and taking me into Daniels bedroom while he slept on the couch. I find myself picturing her seducing me. No, even if she had been drinking, she was nowhere near as drunk as I was; I would have seduced her. I imagine she would have said no at first, debated about the air force and the court martial's that would ensue. For some reason I feel like she would have made herself forget the regulations and just agreed.

But Carter would have had more sense than that, nothing would have happened. If it had and I couldn't remember, I'd be kicking myself until… well until I had another chance. But not because I'm sexually attracted to her, because I miss that brief moment I had when I was in that damn loop, that moment when I got to kiss this pretty Major. I miss that kiss I got from the other Carter, as devastating as it was. I miss that look she gave me when she was trying to convince me that we weren't really zart-thingys. I miss the way she looked at me when I admitted those feelings, the look when she admitted hers, the look we shared when I wouldn't leave her.

These looks have haunted me for years and seeing that tape and waking up this morning has brought these thoughts back so quickly. Weather we want to admit it or not, there has been so many moments over the years where we couldn't deny the fact that we have a relationship that we're not allowed. Weather we have acted on these feelings or not, they're still there and we still can't have them. We do have them though. We don't act on them but they're still there.

As I look at her now, she's looking at me and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she's thinking about the same things, it burns in my mind that I want to act on these feelings.

For crying out loud! I just want to throw the regs aside, take her by the hand and get away. And then the images return, I see us hiding in a cupboard somewhere, kissing each other with the same fierceness she had had when she had been 'touched', ripping each other's clothes of and … STOP NOW!

Damn it! Stop picturing this before you lose control of yourself! Before you do something you'll regret.

"Jack" Daniel says tapping me on the shoulder

"What?" I ask breaking myself from my thoughts

"The briefings over" he tells me and I look over at Carter, she seems to be in the same distant and lost state as I had been.

"I know" I say to Daniel, denying the fact that I had just been caught staring at my second in command. Daniel looks at me and then at Carter and back at me again. He has an accusing looks that needs no words, it's almost childish and asks 'are you two making out in each other's minds?' Somehow I doubt that's what he's actually accusing us of but considering what I had been thinking…

I tap my foot against Carters but I don't look at her, I try to make it seem like I hadn't done it purposely to alert her to the fact that the briefing was over and people were leaving. I try to make it seem like no one had noticed her staring or me for that matter. But Daniel doesn't catch on, he gives her the same accusing look and I sigh frustrated at him.

He goes to ask her something but I cut in first "don't ask Danny" I whisper and he looks at me. I look back with a suggestively warning glance and he nods with a knowing look. It truly amazes me how much is said without words around here.

"O'Neill is that not Major Carter's perfume you are wearing?" Teal'c asks almost cheekily.

Something's NEED to be silent!