A/N: bold italicized means that it happened in the past…I think you'll get it:)

Chapter 3- "Exploding"

Alex slowly led Izzie over to the couch and sat her down, him sitting next to her but turned so he was facing her. Keeping her hands in his, he used one to lean back and grab a tissue from the box on the end table and hand it to her.

"Go on, Iz," he coaxed softly.

"This," she said, her breath catching repeatedly and her face turning red from emotion, "wearing masks that only show half of me, telling only half the story, and now only half living! I can't do it! Emotion bubbles up and catches in her throat causing her words to be less comprehendible. "I can't do it anymore!"

Alex pulls her to him and gently strokes her hair. Izzie buries her face in his shoulder and then turns her face outwards to continue.

"All my life I've had to hold it all in!" she says bitterly as her body and Alex's ears prepared for the approaching explosion,

" 'Crying won't do nothin' Isobel!'

'But Dad…'

'But nothing! It's just a sign of weakness. I don't wanna see it!' "

Her face contorts into a look of hatred and hurt.

" 'Cricket, I have bigger things to worry about than your boy troubles.'

'Mom he left me! Left me and-'

'Cricket, what about your father leaving me? I need you to be here for me right now!"

"Iz, I'm so sorry…" Alex said, heartbroken by her pain, he knew what it was like to have a family that didn't really understand.

She continued,

" I was a listener, a helper, a shoulder to cry on all my life. I don't regret it. I wouldn't give it back for the world. It's made me everything I am and I love it, but now people expect it, and… and… that's okay, but I can't always give it. It's happened before, Alex, if I'm not "Little Miss Sunshine" for one minute I hear, "Stevens is in a bitchy mood today" No! Stevens is not in a bitchy mood today! Stevens is human!"

"So," Alex said solidly, "they think you're a bitch. They'll get over it. Putting others before yourself is one thing, but sacrificing your own happiness for their sake ALL THE TIME is another. Why do it?"

"Because," she said pulling back and looking at him earnestly, "I'm afraid I'll be left all alone… that scares me."

"Well Izzie, I've seen you with O'Malley and Grey, and heck, even Yang, and I don't think they would think any less of you if you were to show any, what you call… "weakness." It's not weakness; you're hurting. We all understand that and I think everyone's finally realized that your not invincible… and we understand that too. If anything, you're being unhappy just scares them because they had hoped for a foolproof distraction from their own problems. And no, it wasn't fair, but that doesn't mean they didn't hope for it to be true. I think they realize now though, and I mean… I don't think that they will treat you any differently, but there will be… some sort of understanding between you guys that will make you closer. I really think you found some true friends here Iz, and I don't think you want to loose them by hiding."

Izzie who had been listening intently and experiencing a welling up of feeling in her heart at both the realization of the truth in what he was saying and gratefulness at having people like him and them to care about her, suddenly lowered her eyes,

"I know…"

Alex gazed at her intently, sensing that there was more coming.

"I hate this! I don't mope! I was just scared, she looked up at him you know? But I guess I shouldn't be, like you said. And I… I really am heartbroken. Denny he… I…he just…I thought he was the love of my life or at least I thought he might have been... but now I'll never find out. She choked slightly on her tears. All my life… there have always been opportunities, I just had to be strong enough, determined enough, or passionate enough and I could get them, but to have an opportunity thrown at me like that, an opportunity so… so amazing and so seemingly perfect just handed to me and then having it ripped away… it makes me wonder… and it makes me doubt. It seemed so easy."

"Life is never easy, Iz." Alex said solemnly.

"No," Izzie replied, "No it's not… and it didn't matter if I was strong enough or determined enough, or passionate enough this time… her eyes became distant... it didn't matter at all."

"Yes it did," Alex nearly shouted suddenly. Startled, Izzie's eyes refocus on his face, "It mattered to him, to Denny. His death was not your fault. It could have just as easily happened on its own and maybe it would have. But in his last hours on this earth he saw someone who loved him fiercely enough to risk everything to save his life. I think that mattered."

Tears were streaming down Izzie's face, but she didn't make a sound.

" and it mattered to everyone in that hospital who knows what you did," he went on. Izzie looked startled, 'How could that be?' "because they saw a woman who loved a man so intensely that she went to the furthest extremes for him. More than that, they saw a doctor who with lightning-fast thinking did what she thought would save a suffering man's life. Granted it was a little selfish, granted she was too involved and granted it may not have been right… in that moment it was what she thought had to be done. After all, sometimes all a doctor has is a moment, just one moment to make a decision that can alter lives. Was there even a "right decision?" I don't know. But they don't either. So I think that mattered too."

She stared at him wordlessly. A few minutes went by, as well as a few moments of her mouth and a few attempts at words. The silence continued however, until she finally found her voice again,

"I…I screwed up though," she said slowly, "on top of lying, cutting cords, endangering lives… I've accepted those wrongs, as wrongs… but I quit. I quit! And I…he could tell she was only half speaking to him and half speaking it out loud to work it out for herself …I don't know if I can accept that yet…"

"So don't," he said simply.

She stared at him.

"Explain yourself, apologize, do whatever is necessary, no one said you were fired… you have a chance, an opportunity," he said, deliberately alluding to earlier in the conversation, "Go for it! Right now you have nothing to lose."

She smiled with the realization, that "old Izzie sparkle" returning to her eyes.

Suddenly the phone rang.

Alex looked at Izzie apologetically. Silently, she gave him permission to answer it. Walking into the kitchen he picked up the phone.

(murmurs of a conversation can be heard from the living room)

Izzie was deep in thought and didn't hear Alex come back in the room. She jumped when she felt the cushions shift as he sat back down. To his surprise she flashed him a smile.

"Who was it?" she asked.

He put his hand behind his neck and looked apprehensive, but seeing her looking at him expectantly he said, "It was Meredith actually, she's having a little get together for the 4th of July at five and wanted to know if either of us wanted to come." Would she want to go? Her expression didn't look promising.

"Oh," she replied looking down and then looking back up, "Alex?"

"Yeah?" he replied.

"I just wanted to say how… grateful I am for everything you've just said… and everything you've done since that night. You've really been great and I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. He smiled, slightly amused at the memory. And I….…I just…… thank you," she finished.

"Anytime Iz, and I hope it made you feel a little better," he said sincerely.

"and just so you know, these are all yours any time you need them" he said pointing to his ears and wiggling them, a grin spreading across his face.

Izzie burst out laughing and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Jumping up she said, "What time did you say Mer's party was? 5? Then we'd better hurry!" she ran over to the bags of her stuff in the corner, pawed through them, and ran with her selections into the bathroom.

Her excitement and whirlwind execution prevented him from seeing the blush that had risen ever so slightly to her cheeks. He wouldn't have cared anyway. He was just happy he could help.

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

A/N: Alright guys, I'm SOOOO sorry that took so long but I've been really busy and probably will be for a while. However, I do know where I want to go w/ the next chapter which will be called "Homecoming"), so that will save me some time! Anyway, PLEASE let me know what you guys think. I'm trying not to go too OOC w/ Alex, but I needed him to be compassionate…so we'll see, but next chapter will have the return of the "other" Alex, lol. Ummm….oh yeah, as far as the wiggling his ears thing…well my sis and dad can do that and I thought it would make some good comic relief, idk…maybe it's a little weird but whatever. Also, I've only edited this chapter about…50 times in comparison w/ my usual 100 (I have major OCD as far as that is concerned), so I'll keep editing all the way until my next chapter is up, so disregard any errors (I'm sorry!). PLEASE REVIEW because I LOVE to hear from you guys. I'm so excited for next season and Lexzie fics ease my withdrawal symptoms, lol, so please guys WE NEED TO SEE SOME MORE OUT THERE! Until next time….Kitts