A Big Thanks To Everyone Who Reviewed! I Appreciate It Very Much.

----------------------------------MERRYFRIGGIN'CHRISTMAS--------------------------------------

"Lookie Woy, lookie what we got!" Edward exclaimed early one morning as he came bursting through the front door with Alphonse trailing behind.

Roy tore his gaze from the newspaper he was currently reading to regard the young 3-year-olds. "What did we get, Ed?"

Edward hastily ran back outside and returned moments later dragging a stack of neatly wrapped parcels, with shiny decorated paper. He pushed the presents right up to Roy and stood back. Al jumped up and down excitedly, looking longingly at the presents.

"See? We got pwesents, Woy! Lotsa lotsa pwesents!" Ed squealed.

Roy scrutinized the parcels carefully, wondering who had sent them. "And how many presents are there?" he asked, always looking for a chance to improve the boys' counting abilities.

"Free," Al replied, "one for you, one for Ed, and one for me!" he paused, "Oh, and a embelope for alla' us."

Al fumbled around in his coat pocket and produced a big red envelope. He handed it over to Roy without even glancing at it. Which was quite expected, as the envelope lacked ribbons, bows and pretty paper.

Roy set his paper down and snatched up the envelope and ripped through the top with his fingernail. "Do you know who sent them?" he questioned Ed whilst pulling a letter from the red envelope.

"Yes," Ed replied without skipping a beat, "th' mailman sended them."

Roy chuckled as he proceeded to unfold the letter and scanned the words with curious onyx eyes.

Dearest son,

One of your little officers told me about the two boys you adopted. And I must say I'm mildly astounded! You, of all people, selflessly adopting two children. I didn't believe it at first! You were always such a player, I thought you'd end up dating 40 different women and having billions of various children! So of course, you can imagine my shock.

I took the liberty of making presents for the children (And one for you too,) And I do hope you enjoy them.

Love Mom

P.S. Tell them to call me Grandma

Roy deadpanned. "She hasn't changed a bit…" he mumbled to himself. Ed and Al, who had been waiting quietly for a long time, finally grew impatient and began to tug on Roy's pants.

"Who's it from, Woy? Who's it from?" Ed asked curiously.

"It's from…Grandma." Roy replied, furrowing his brow at the foreign word.

Ed and Al looked shocked. "We has a Gramma?" Al shouted in disbelief.

Roy shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you do…"

"Wow!" Ed cried, clasping his hands together. "I always wanted a Gramma!"

Roy quirked a dark eyebrow at the peculiar statement. Al, who had totally dropped the Grandma topic, was now looming over the presents with a dream-like look in his eyes.

"Can we open th' pwesents now?" he asked longingly.

"Well, that depends." Roy replied, overlooking each present. "Is there any 'Do not open until Christmas' stickers on them?"

Ed snatched up the nearest present and glanced at every angle carefully. "Nope, don't think so," he answered at last.

Al squealed, "Does that mean we can open them?"

"Sure, why not?" Roy picked up the parcel with his name on it and proceeded to tear off the wrapping paper slowly, so as to conserve the bows and ribbons for future gifts.

Ed and Al, on the other hand wasted no time in mercilessly shredding the paper and ribbons off their presents. Underneath the wrapping paper lie plain white boxes, with little or no interesting features attached.

Ed stared at the box, while Al hastily plucked the top off and tossed it aside. His whole face lit up as he pulled out his gift, and held it high for everyone to see.

"Look, Woy! Gramma sended me a puppy!" he proclaimed.

Roy blinked and stared down at the item Al held. Certainly it was not a puppy. In fact, it was actually a fuzzy, hand-knitted green-and-white sweater.

"Al," Roy addressed the excited child, "that's not a puppy. It's a sweater."

Al refused to believe him. "No, it's a puppy, and his name is gonna be Nibbos." He responded as he pet the so-called puppy lovingly.

Ed finally decided to open his parcel. He plucked off the lid, set it aside, and hauled out…

"Look, Woy! Gramma sended me a new sweater!" he blurted gleefully as he tugged the sweater over his head.

Roy expected Al to get it by now, that what he was holding was not a puppy, but a sweater. Unfortunately, he was still stuck on the idea of Grandma sending him a dog.

"…And we'll play ball and house and wead books and I'll feed you cheese…" Al rambled on to his "dog". Ed, after finally tugging the sweater into a comfortable position, was quite surprised when he felt something slide out the clothing and onto the floor.

He was even more surprised when he looked down and found himself gazing at a shiny, brand-new dollar coin. "Wow, monies!" he cried, picking it up.

At the same moment, something slipped out of Al's sweater as well. When he leaned over it, he discovered that it was a coin, like Ed's.

He scooped it up excitedly and held it out to Roy. "Look, Woy! My puppy shit out money!" he exclaimed.

Roy could only laugh.

----------------------------------MERRYFRIGGIN'CHRISTMAS--------------------------------------

This Was More Of A Joke Than A Christmas Fanfic. It Was Actually My Brother Who Wrote It (The Brother Who Also Wrote The 18th Chapter Of Edward's Balomi,) I, Personally Though It Was Incredibly Hilarious, And I Hope It Gives You A Good Laugh Too.