-1AN: Thanks again for all the feedback.
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Chapter 6 - The Moment of truth
Catherine stood outside the entrance of the physics department building, could she really do this after all this time could she face Sara? Could she walk in there and forget all the pain she caused her, could she walk in there and pretend that Sara was never more than a friend, what was the point of it all, why was she here?
Did she need closure or did she want fresh start, did she want to finally put an end to wondering and regret or did she want to begin a new, attempt to built something between the pair, could they be friends again?
'Come on Cath you gotta think straight, you need to know what to say you need a plan' the night before after Lindsey left Catherine had spent hours planning what she was going to say to Sara over and over again, sometimes she wanted to go in there and ask for a fresh start while others she wanted to go In and tell Sara how much hurt she caused and say goodbye to the brunette forever.
Catherine took a deep breath as she grabbed for the door handle and made her way into the building. She quickly got there bearings and headed for the reception area. A grey haired women sat behind the desk. Catherine smiled at the women and addressed her
"Hello, I'd like to see Sara Sidle…… erm Doctor Sidle"
"Can I ask who's visiting"
"It's ca….. it's a friend"
The women looked at the nervous blonde and reached for the phone, pressing extension number one 1.
- Hello Harvard Physics Sara Sidle speaking
"Hello Doctor Sidle I have a visitor here for you in the reception area?"
- Who is it Carol?
"A friend of yours…………… Shall I send her through?"
- Can you just give me 5 minutes I've got Lizzie with me today, Dana will be here for her soon.
" Sure Doctor Sidle"
The women looked up and addressed Catherine "Doctor Sidle will be with you shortly"
"Errrm…. Thanks" Catherine replied as she began to look at the notice board behind her.
Catherine looked at the board for minutes, not taking in any of the information just starring into nothingness
"Mom?"
Catherine turned to face her daughter
"Linds….. Hi" Catherine said nervously
"Are you here to see her?"
"yes Linds………… I need to do something………… just try to make sense of things"
"it's ok Mom" Lindsey said to her mother sensing her discomfort "I hope you get some comfort from seeing her………. I hope you can be happy again" Lindsey said hugging her mother.
"Thanks Linds"
"Anytime Mom……."
"Linds are you ready?" Catherine and Lindsey both looked to see Torri Approaching
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt"
"That's fine Tor, I'd like you to meet my Mom"
Torri smiled at Catherine reaching for her hand.
"Hi Miss Willows, it's nice to meet you, Lindsey talks about you lots………. Her Mom the amazing CSI"
Lindsey blushed and Catherine smiled "Well thank you Torri I've heard a lot about you too, it's nice to meet you too"
Lindsey looked at her Mom " I better get going, don't wanna be late for class……. Good luck Mom…… I love you"
"Thank you Honey and I think I'll need it"
The women where interrupted by the cries of a baby, Dana walked through the corridor with a crying Lizzie in her arms. "Shhh Lizzie it's ok we'll come back and see Mama soon" Catherine smiled as she saw the baby, as she remembered when Lindsey had been so tiny and helpless.
"Hi Doctor Fielding" Torri said addressing the Doctor
"Hi Torri……. Lindsey……."
Dana's face suddenly seemed expressionless as she met the gaze of the other women in the group.
Catherine addressed the women and smiled
"Hi, you have a lovely little girl there……. I remember when my baby girl was so tiny" Catherine said placing her hand on Lindsey's shoulder.
Dana got all the confirmation she needed.
"yes……… erm sorry I gotta run" Dana said has she rushed past the group
Catherine watched the women leave and cocked at eyebrow at the women's odd behaviour.
Lindsey's face had become panic stricken as she realised she never told her mother about Lizzie, although Sara asked her not too, she still believed her mother needed some warning before she got another shock.
"Miss…………. Miss………" Catherine looked up at the receptionist "Doctor Sidle will see you now"
"Mom……… I erm…… there's something I need to Errrm……."
"Linds tell me later I need to do this before I loose the nerve"
Catherine kissed her daughter on the cheek and headed to Sara's office.
"Good luck Mom" Lindsey shouted after her mother.
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Sara sat at her desk typing up a letter at her computer when she heard to knock on the door. She didn't look up from the screen
"Come in"
She heard the door open slowly and looked up to see the Women stood before her, she lost all ability to speak as she took in the sight before her. Her eyes where transfixed as she heard words being spoke
"Sara"
"Erm Sara"
"Catherine….. I'm just…… I don't know what….. I mean I'm just surprised to see you"
"Sorry if it's a bad time I can come back…. I mean I know you must have lots of work to do"
Sara could sense Cath's nerves as she began to take a step back towards the door
"No Cat please don't go I'm just a little shocked is all please come in and take a seat"
Cath finally stepped away from the door closing it behind her and walked over to the other side of Sara's desk facing the brunette.
The 2 women sat silently for what seemed like an age to Sara finally she decided she had to break the silence
"So you're here….. I mean at Harvard" 'how observant of you Sidle' Sara thought to herself
"yes I spoke to Linds she told me you where here……. I wanted to……. I mean I felt….. I needed to see you…. I needed to know your ok"
"I'm ok Cat…. And I'm….I'm sorry for how I left things…. I mean just a letter. I wanted to see you so much but…… but I knew if I did………. If I did see you I'd never be able to leave"
"Sara I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you…. I didn't explain things to you….. After I….. after I kissed you"
Sara could feel her cheeks flush at just the thought of the kiss she shared with Catherine all those years ago
"Cath we where both there I could have said something…. I could have stayed instead of running out on you. I just didn't know what it meant and then there was………. And then there was Grissom"
They both sat in silence for several minutes Sara could see Catherine wince in pain as if someone had shot her at the mention of her former lovers name
"Cat I'm sorry"
"Don't be Sara it's the past…… it's all in the past"
Sara did know how to take that last statement did Catherine mean she was forgiven and they could start a new maybe see how things went or did she mean it was in the past never to be seen again.
"Sara I'm sorry for coming here unannounced and imposing on you at work….. I don't know what I was thinking"
"Please stop apologising……. I'm glad you're here……. I was going to call you when I finally got the nerve, I promised Linds I would" Sara could see her last statement hadn't come out as she had intended and Catherine looked again hurt "I didn't mean it like that I wanted to call you, I have done everyday since I've been here, not a single day as passed that I've not thought of you. It's just seeing Lindsey here it reminds me so much of seeing you around…… it makes me think of you even more than usual………. OK I'll shut up now"
Sara blushed at how bold her last statement had been, she looked down at the table and fidgeted. She looked at her hands begging them to stay still. It wasn't until she felt Catherine's hands on top of her own that the movement stopped. Sara looked up and peered into Catherine's eyes
"Sara you don't need to shut up….. I'm glad you said those things. I think of you too…. Everyday. I wonder if your ok, if your happy, and also most I wonder if you think of me too…….. So don't feel bad for saying those things because that's what I wanna hear"
Sara smiled taking Catherine's hand in her own
RING RING RING
"You should probably get that"
"yes I should" Sara said pulling her hand away and reaching for the phone
"Hello Harvard Physics Sara Sidle speaking"
- Hey Sar sorry to disturb you, if I am right in my assumptions the object of your affection is in there with you
"Your not wrong"
- Ok well I'm real sorry but it's Lizzie she won't settle, she just keeps asking for you, I didn't want to barge in there so I thought I'd call first
Sara thought for a moment what should she do, she hadn't even got to the part where she told Catherine about Lizzie. But her daughter had to come first
"Dana can you bring her to my office please?
- Sure where on our way…… and Sar I'm sorry
Sara put the phone down and looked up at Catherine
"Sara what's wrong?….. Are you ok?"
"yes…… erm there's something I need to tell you, I was going to explain much more before I did but this can't wait……..."