Disclaimer: In my weakest moments, Grey's Anatomy owns me. It's sad . . .really.
So I started this fanfic terrified that no one would like it. I really thought this might be my one and only flop. And people are loving it. I've only written 4 chapters and I already have 75 reviews! 75! That's just completely insane to me. But I love it, I love that I'm writing something completely different and people are still completely digging it. Makes me so happy.
To answer the question I've been asked a gabillion times. The song is "So Far Away" by Carole King. I told my wonderful friend Katie my idea for this fiction and she suggested the title. And I fell in love with it, because it works so well. So I'm using a different line from it at the end of every chapter. I'm thinking of trying to make a chapter for each line the song, but I'm not sure if I can manage that so we'll see.
Anyway, Derek's email back to Meredith.
Enjoy!
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Dear Meredith,
We're having a baby.
Okay, you can't actually see me right now but I'm . . .I'm crying. Which is probably a little pathetic but I don't really care. Not when the woman I love more than life itself is carrying my child. Meredith, I know you were terrified about how I would take this news, but don't worry. I'm so happy. We're going to be parents. And I know the situation is a little more than less than ideal, which I hate. But you having my baby, I can't not be thrilled about that.
Meredith, I wish I was there. This news is something we should have found out together, I want to hold you so close right now and never let go.
I've always dreamed about having children with you. I didn't plan on doing it now. Definitely not. But I had a plan, oh I had a plan. Involved me getting home from Africa and getting down on one knee. And then a white dress and a ferry boat. And then a baby. Seemingly my plan got thrown out of order, probably shouldn't have skipped that condom that one time, but still. Babies were the plan.
And we can do this. You can do this.
As soon as I'm done this email to you I'm emailing the head of Doctors without Borders. I know I made a year commitment here but I'll explain that my girlfriend is pregnant and I have to get home to be with her. Hopefully he'll be understanding. And if not, well I'll find someway to get home as soon as possible. I'm going to be there, Meredith. I am not missing the birth of our first child. Not for the world.
I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.
I'm going to be a daddy Mer. A daddy. I read your email less than an hour ago and I'm already planning everything. Trips to Disneyworld to meet Mickey. Teaching him or how how to fish. Ferryboat rides. We have to build a house on my land. Find a contractor. And help him figure out your dream home. Price isn't a problem, just get it built before Baby Shepherd enters the world. Honestly, make it however you want. All I ask for is an office, so I can bring my paperwork home with me instead of spending long hours at the hospital. The rest I trust you entirely with. You know our favourite view, put it there.
And don't worry about us not having the time for the baby. I'll ask for a lighter rotation until your done you're residency. After that we'll reevaluate and see what we think is best.
I know you're freaking out. I know you're probably reading this thinking that I'm moving far too fast, but Mer, I love you.
This is the life I have always dreamed of, well dreamed of since I saw you chugging back tequilla at Joe's. And I know we didn't think we were going to get here quite yet but now that we are, I can't say I need to take time to freak out, I'm happy Mer. Annoyed as all hell that it had to happen now while I'm gone, but really seriously happy. I want this child more than anything. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and this child and anymore we make along the way. This is what I want.
But Meredith, I know you. You didn't grow up wanting a family, you never planned on having this life. And I know even after you met me you never thought it would happen so soon. I understand Mer. So if you do need to take some freak out time, that's fine. I understand,
Just you know, while freaking out, do you mind calling a contractor?
Because I have faith in us. When you're done freaking out you'll reread this email, rubbing a hand over your belly, and smiling. Maybe even with misty eyes to match my own. And you'll want this just as much as I do. Because what we have between us...it's fate.
We're having a baby.
You're going to be an amazing mother, Mer. I know you're rolling your eyes, thinking I'm blinded by love or just completely insane. But you are. I've watched you with patients, old and young. You have so much compassion, and patience and kindness. And although I know you never had a strong role model, that's all it really takes. And everything else, we'll learn together along the way. We can do this together. We can do everything together.
Thank you, Meredith. For giving this a shot, because I know you're scared, I know you're terrified you're not strong enough, so thank you for taking the chance of having this child. Thank you for having the faith in me to be there for you. Thank you for letting me know before everyone else. Thank you for giving me a child. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being you.
I hate getting all senitmental, but being away from you, pregnant you, well it makes me want to say thing. Especially when I'm happy.
I still can't believe we're going to have a family.
Take time to digest this, don't rush back in writing me a letter. Freak out, talk to Cristina, go to Joe's (but don't drink), Do whatever it takes. And than write back to me. Oh and call my parents to let them know. I'll send them a letter but they need to hear this on the phone. Call them.
I love you.
Love For Always
Derek
Holding you again could only do me good.
So Derek, yeah, he's thrilled. And really excited. And has this child's entire future planned. Because a family with Meredith is all he's ever wanted and now that's what he's getting even thought the situation is less than ideal. So Derek is happy. But understanding of why Mer is scared. And trying to get home to her.
Next chapter will reveal how that plays out. Hehehe. It might be up tomorrow but don't hold your breath. School assignment due on Tuesday so I will have to see how much work I get done on it. Hopefully will be able to update.
Read. Love. Review.