Disclaimer: Watching the repeat of Sometimes a Fantasy tonight reminded me in a big way that I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Because if I owned Grey's, Finn never would have existed. Okay, maybe he would of. But he wouldn't have been around as long. Because after Derek told Mer he loved her, she would have done him on the table. That's how my Grey's would work.

So people are still loving this...that's good. I don't quite no how many more chapters there will be. Quite a few so don't panic. I'm just saying I still haven't decided a length. I know exactly how this is going to end, I even know what the epilogue is going to be. Just don't know how long it will take to get me there. I have a few things to do between now and then but well, I don't know how long to expect it. I'd say at least another 10 chapters, so really, not ending anytime soon.

This chapter is Derek's letter back to Meredith. So it's sweet and well McDreamy. And don't worry, some drama is coming. Can't have too much smooth sailing.

Enjoy!

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Dear Meredith,

You heard the heartbeat?

Wow. Just wow. I wish I had been there, I should be there. I hate not being there. I can't believe I'm missing this.

And by this I mean seeing you all emotional and crazy. God, you sound adorable.

Stop yelling.

And to calm your fears, I think we can trust Addison not to commit baby homicide. I don't think we're her favourite couple, but she is our friend. And she's a doctor who's really good at her job. Mainly, she knows how much it means to me to finally be having a child. She doesn't have anything against BabyShep. I'm sure BabyShep is in perfectly good hands. Stop stressing out over stupid things, it's not good for our baby.

By the way, I've been practicing. I helped deliver a baby today. Me, the top neurosurgeon in America helped deliver a baby today.

It was amazing, Mer. I mean, nothing on brain surgery, but just wow. When she was in labour her and the husband were flipping out so I was asked to calm them down. I told them about the beautiful woman I had waiting for me at home, who was pregnant with my baby. I told them our story, god I love telling that story. It made them smile, it made her remember to breathe. And then it made her name her daughter Meredith. To thank me for everything I had done. So Mer, now there's a tiny African baby named after you.

The husband said I must love you a lot.

And that's when I teared up. Is it possible to have sympathy hormones? Because I'm pretty sure I do.

Or maybe I just miss you.

Mer, I know you need me. You're going through such a big thing right now. And even though your friends are there, you're alone. Because you're missing the one person that needs to be there. And Meredith, trust me, this is paining me more than you could ever imagine. I want to be there for all the daddy things, to run out a 2 oclock in the morning to get you nachos. That's my job. And it's killing me that I'm not there. You need me now more than ever, and I'm not there.

God, I'm terrible aren't I? You'd think for once I'd manage to be there for 5 minutes.

But Mer, you can do this. I have so much faith in you. You have been so strong since you found out. Every letter and email I get, you amaze me with the strenght your finding within yourself. I know you're scared, but you can do this. Just keep working, keep busy with friends, and before you know it the four months will be over and I'll be right there where I belong.

And when I get back there, you're never going to be able to get rid of me again.

Ever.

So I know you're scared and hormonal and probably just a bit crazy right now, but I'm going to be coming home to you. So just stay strong. Stay you.

I wish I had been there to hear the heart beat. It was probably just amazing. I'm glad Addie was there though, better than you have know one. I wish I was there for it all. You are probably the most beautiful pregnant woman that ever was. You are probably just glowing. Take lots of pictures, take tons of pictures. I need to see every second that I miss. And buy a webcam. You know where my credit cards are, charge it to me. Get a webcam so I can see you getting fat.

Which I can't wait to see you get so fat that you can barely fit in any close, and you waddle around the hospital barefoot and happy.

I think I'm madly in love with fat Meredith.

Even if she hates me.

And thank you for waiting. I am missing so much, I want to be beside you to find out the sex, I want that to be one of the things that we do get to do together. You know, I do have you being my sex slave riding on this ever important outcome, so I do need to be there. I need to be able to enjoy my victory probably and everything.

I'm being called away, so sorry that this was shorter than I hoped.

Tell BabyShep I love him.

I love you too.

And miss you more than anything.

Yours For Always

Derek

One more song about moving along the highway.

So Derek's chapter.

And I've recently realized that this fic is probably really wierd. Because it's fluff. Nothing is going horribly wrong. Meredith and Derek are madly in love and having a baby and both ecstatic. And it's fluff. But with this horribly depressing twist that he's not actually there to be enjoying the happiness with her. So it's like depressing fluff or something. Don't really expect that to change, I mean, there's going to be a very tiny bit of drama thrown in, but nothing that's going to change this fic. This is a fluffy fic.

And Derek is so freaking cute. I love him in this fic. I'm not sure if this chapter felt as much like him as I hoped it would, so please let me know what you all thought.

Next chapter will probably be up tomorrow afternoon. There will definitely be one up at night but probably one in the afternoon as well. So yeah.

Read. Love. Review.