Written by me
Sex-Deprived Maniac,
Thanks for the encouraging news. You wouldn't love me if I weren't gay? I'll remember that...
And you're such an arse. I don't need your sex anyway. I'm perfectly self-sufficient. You can just sit there and watch me, we'll see how 'functional' you are then...
And I am definitely not pouting. I don't pout.
And I PROMISE I'll come after you. How many times do I have to tell you? I'll be there. There will be more information about 'Project Save Lover Boy' with the next letter.
Yes, I came up with that all on my own. Stop laughing.
Go to bloody sleep if you're so tired.
Yours,
Draco