Chapter 20

-this is one of my fav...hope you like it

Lucas awoke in a horrible sweat. He must have been having a terrible dream or something because he couldnt fall back a sleep. He walked to the fridge and got a glass of milk when his mom came in.

"What are you doing up?" she asked

"Couldnt sleep. You?"

"Same. Want to talk about it" him and his mom seemed to always be able to talk to each other about anything. But with her next child on the way, and another absentee father, he didnt seem it was right to bother her with his problems.

"Na, it's okay. I just had a bad dream." he took a sip of the milk "Do you want to talk about you?" he asked hoping to change the subject

"Stomach pains"

"Is that normal" he asked with worry

"I'm fine Luke. The baby's fine too." she got up and headed back to her room "You should get some rest" she said and turned out the kitchen light behind her and left him sitting, thinking how all this could be happening to him, a senior in high school.

----------------------

Later that morning, Lucas picked Brooke up to take her to the doctor's. The car ride there was rather silent because Brooke was nervous and didnt want to talk about it, and Lucas knew both of those things. They sat in the waiting room, silent as well, until her name was finally called.

"Hello Ms. Davis" the doctor said as the they took a seat. "I'm going to be taking care of you from now on. My name is Dr. Rosenburg. How are you feeling today?"

"Good" she answered simply.

"Well you were scheduled for your first chemo treatment today, but after reviewing your files with the first doctor you saw here, Dr. Krupp, I noticed that you were pregnant."

"Yes I am"

"Well. unfortuantly, you cant take chemo while you are pregnant. I'm not sure why Dr. Krupp didnt mention this to you."

"Oh" she whispered. Now what? Another decision? She hoped not.

"So you're going to have to make another choice Ms. Davis. To either continue with your pregnancy and then start chemo afterward, or begin chemo now and have an abortion. The choice is completely up to you."

She didnt know what to do. She didnt really want to be pregnant, but that didnt mean she wanted to abort it. She hated these awful decisions she had to make. Either way it seemed like she was making the wrong choice.

"Do you need a few minutes to talk it out with your husband" he said as he pointed toward Lucas who had been sitting there taking it all in.

"Oh, um we're not married, he's just my um boyfriend" she finally spit out."

"My apology. Would you two like a little time"

"Yes please" she said as the doctor exited the room. Lucas was still staring at the floor when he had left. He finally looked up at Brooke when he realized that she had begun to cry. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. This poor girl couldnt get a break in the world. It seemed when one thing was getting better, another thing fell to the ground. And she was caught in the middle of it all.

----------------

Peyton called Jake's cell phone around lunchtime. When his voicemail picked up, she hung up the phone. She was starting to get a little worried. How could he leave her right now, with all that was going on with Brooke. She was about to puck up her latest drawing when her phone rang. She ran over to it, hoping that it was Jake calling her back. It was Haley.

"Hey Peyt"

"Oh hey"

"What, am I not good enough" she said sarcastically

"I was hoping it was Jake"

"Still hasnt called"

"No"

"I'm sure he's fine Peyton"

"I know...so what can I do for you?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping you could watch Sophie tonight. She's still too young to leave alone all night, and Nathan and I kind of want to go out."

"Yeah that's fine."

"Thanks so much"

"Yeah no problem. When do you want me to pick her up?"

"Around 5?"

"Sounds good"

"Thanks again" and they hung up. She was glad to help her friend, and glad that she had something to do tonight so she wouldnt spend it thinking about Jake.

-----------------

The doctor came back in the room as soon as he left, at least thats the way it felt to the two sitting in the room.

"Have we reached a verdict yet?" he asked

Brooke looked from Lucas to her stomach. How could one person make such a decision. One way, she was selfish for thinking about herself. The other way she was basically killing herself. How the hell could anyone make that decision.

"I'm sorry Luke" she breathed and then turned toward the doctor "I've decided to wait on the chemo."

"Wait Brooke" Lucas tried to stop her

She silenced him

"If thats what you want but I have to say that this could cause worse problems for you in the near future, for you and the baby."

"I know. But this is what I want"

"Ok then. Well in that case, your baby is looking fine right now. I would like you to come back in a week for another check up."

"Ok" she said not turning to look at Lucas. They got up and headed out of the room. Once they were in the car he finally spoke up.

"You can't do this Brooke. Chemo is the only way you have of beating this."

"Lucas I cant do that to our baby."

"What about you?" he was angry with her for not thinking what would happen if she wasnt here

"It's always about me Luke. It always has been. I need to do this. I coulnt live with myself if I would get an abortion."

"But thats the thing Brooke, you might not be living."

There was silence. She became so angry and so upset all at the same time. Angry that he brought it up, sad that it was true. He realized what he had just said.

"I'm sorry Brooke"

"Lucas, this is what I want to do, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind. You can either be here with me or leave, either way my decision remains the same."

He paused, watching a tear trickle down the side of her cheek. "Of course I'm going to be here Brooke."

"Why?" she couldnt believe what she just said. Yes of course she's been wondering it, but she never wanted to bring it up, least of all right now.

"What?"

There was no turning back now. "Why Lucas, why will you always be here for me."

"Because I love you Brooke"

"But why, I need to know why?"

"Because you're the one."

"How do you know that at 18 Luke, it's just not possible."

"Are you saying you dont have the same feelings?" he was getting upset that this conversation was even happening.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I just need to know why?"

"I just know Brooke. When I'm around you all I want to do is be closer to you. When I'm not with you, all I think about is being with you. You make me laugh, you make me cry, but most of all you make me feel. You have one of the kindest hearts I've ever seen, but yet you guard it like a jewel. You are as strong as hell, and I love the challenge of getting you to let me in. Brooke, I want to be with you everyday of my life. I love you. I LOVE you Brooke, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She was definetly crying by this point of the conversation. She loved him too, but she wondered how he could put up with her sometimes. Her emotions were always shakey, one feeling one time, another a second later. How could a guy put up with that? But after this speech he had just given her, how could she not completely love him back.

"You're the one Brooke. There's no one else for me. I just want you to realize that I need you in my life. I need you to be here. With me."

He slid over and held her in his arms. She was so broken, and he didnt know how to fix her. She was killing herself, but he had to be there for her, no matter what. She cried into his arms until she finally calmed down.

"I love you" she whispered

He smiled

"I love you" she said and kissed him so passionately their hearts melted. He was finally in, and there was no way he was ever going to let her go again. She had his heart, and he finally had hers.

---------------------