Alouette met him on his way to bother the redheads. Really, what else is there to do in a Resistance Base except figuring out how to take down the bad guy (which Ciel was doing) and trying to get laid?
"Zero, there is a problem I need your help with."
Zero broke out of his bouncing gait and snapping of fingers to look at her. She was a cute kid, or designed to be, with her wide, innocent eyes and bashful timidity; hugging her little white rabbit for security. She was a doll holding a doll.
"Yes, little imitation?"
"Why do human beings form attachments?"
He sat on the ground beside her and rested a hand on her pretty blonde head.
"Severe, immutable boredom," he explained, "You see, the universe is a vast expanse of nothingness where the most exciting thing that happens is a star going boom. Since their own star wasn't going boom, humans had nothing to do except exist. They conquered nature," he tapped her head with one finger, "and then they conquered science," he tapped her head with two fingers, "but then, oops! They couldn't conquer themselves!" Three fingers tapped, and Alouette giggled, as a child might if tickled. Zero stood up, leaning against the wall, stabbing one finger down the hallway where Ciel's room was.
"You know why Ciel's working so hard to find a new energy source?"
"To help reploids?"
"Nope! It's because she can't please the Neo Arcadian council. See, humans are angry with the lack of energy resources, so they blame reploids, retiring them."
"But won't she help reploids?"
"Aha! Yes, but not unless she helps humans first! The reason humans form attachments is because they're trying to please other people!"
"But won't Ciel please herself?"
Zero sniggered.
"That just sounded wrong."
Alouette feigned ignorance, calculating as she was.
"Kid, humans are the most difficult people to please. Their entire history is glutted with war, especially the last few centuries."
He spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness.
"There's no pleasing some people. That's why reploids exist, and that's why Ciel works so hard."
"Well… why did Ciel form an attachment to me?"
"Rephrase your question."
"Why does she feel calm, no matter what, when I'm around?"
Zero leaned over the doll and whispered.
"What is programming without purpose? If you had no purpose, you'd end up like Marvin, walking in a circle for millions of years. Your purpose is to depend on her for everything; for energy crystals, for a home, for a mother. No other person on this planet… or reploid, for that matter… needs her like you do."
Alouette looked straight at him.
"You need her."
Zero gave her a blank look.
"She needs me."
"Rephrase your statement."
"She provides a need."
"Rephrase your conclusion."
"She is all."
Zero blinked, catching himself.
"You sure know how to play tricks."
The doll giggled, squeezing her doll.
"I like knowing what people think. Thanks for helping me, Zero."
She flounced off, skipping with those spindly little legs. Zero tilted his head to one side.
"You're… welcome?"
888
Yet again, there was work to be done in the desert, along the lines of suppressing the invading army that happened to be advancing over the burning sands.
"I'm up against a never-ending barrage of Pantheons and support units? What happened to quality over quantity?"
"Quit ruminating and hop to it."
"Sheesh, be a little more dismissive, why don't you?"
Ciel cut the comm. link. Zero unleashed his saber and buster in either hand.
"Hopping to it."
One hand dealt with the front lines, a slash or two destroying every single hostile force he encountered. His other hand shot down stragglers that broke away from the main force. With two hands, he was suppressing the advancing army completely.
"Imagine if I had three."
"Zero, break through the centre and attack their drop ship."
"As you wish."
The drop ship in question was a hovercraft that emitted a steady stream of Pantheons and little chicken mechaniloids with bladed wheels. Zero ran up an abandoned bulldozer and leaped, landing on the cockpit. One thrust of the saber and one blast from the buster destroyed the drop ship's pilot AI. He climbed up and ran along its hull, dragging the saber through it while shooting the engines on either side. The ship was in pieces before either of them hit the sand.
"Zero, the commander's drop ship is approaching!"
"The last Guardian?"
"Defeat him and his army will retreat."
"That's rather silly programming."
"Nobody has ever defeated him before."
"You're not very encouraging, you know that?"
The fierce red Guardian landed before him, waving his huge cannon around.
"I am Fefnir!" he shouted, "I have never met my equal in combat, but your defeat of the other three excites me! I want you all to myself, Zero!"
"Gay."
"What?" he yelled, "I am a warrior seeking single combat, to uphold my honour!"
"Still gay."
"Look, I'm not compensating with this giant gun, really, I'm not!"
"You said it, not me."
"I will dominate this battle!"
"Continuing to be gay. What a bore."
Fefnir roared and fired, you guessed it, flames. Zero dash jumped over them and brought down the wrath of god upon the Guardian's head.
"Lightning zaps fire. I win!"
Fefnir staggered, shooting more flames to keep Zero at bay.
"You're more presumptuous than I am!"
"Aww, does that mean we cuddle now?"
"Rrrargh!"
Fefnir charged energy in his free hand, sprung forward and smashed his fist into the ground, causing a shockwave that knocked Zero off his feet. Fefnir leaped into the air, firing at Zero's prone form. Zero countered the fire with a charged bolt and rolled out of the way just as Fefnir punched the ground he had been lying on.
"You're not very fast," Zero critiqued. Fefnir growled.
"Stay still!"
"And let you have your way with me? For shame!"
Energy surged through the Guardian. Another gun materialized on Fefnir's free arm, and he fired both into the air. Fire rained from the sky, sending Zero scampering back and forth as Fefnir turned the desert to glass.
"Hey, hey! Watch the hair!"
Fefnir burst through the curtain of flames. He grabbed Zero, lifted him clear off the ground and pushed the cannon into his spine. The point blank blast sent Zero flying more than thirty feet into the air. In an incredible show of agility, Fefnir jumped that high, and grabbed Zero again.
"You're going down!"
Zero curled in midair, jamming his saber through Fefnir's cannon.
"I was delighted to have this dance."
He kicked away from Fefnir before the cannon exploded. They landed, Zero rubbing his back and Fefnir in a sad smoking pile.
"Don't die, Zero!" Fefnir laughed, his arm and most of the armour on his right side missing, "I want to be the one to retire you!"
Zero bowed as the Guardian teleported.