Much to George's dismay (and Leila's amusement), the rest of the period continued about the same. The poor possessor limped out the door as he and Leila left school, still aching from the game.
"And why is that game offered in your schoolhouse?" George asked wearily as they headed to the parking lot.
"It's…er…supposed to be…fun," Leila said, stifling giggles, "Don't worry…you'll probably never have to play again."
"Excellent!" George said, cheering up a bit. He and Leila stopped in front of Paul's car; Leila usually got a ride home from him afterschool.
"Um…what are we doing?" George asked Leila. She froze, realizing that her usual driver was about a few miles away, and dead.
"Oh, crap."
"I beg your pardon?" George said, making a confused look appear on Paul's face. Leila shut her eyes, trying to think of a way home and to the mansion.
"Crap crap crap crap crap!"
"What is this 'crap' you're saying?" George asked, but Leila didn't hear him. She certainly couldn't drive with just her learner's permit, and George probably didn't even know what a car was called. Leila rattled off more swear words, and George questioned every one.
"Er…you don't need to add any of those words to your vocabulary," she said, blushing. The girl then grabbed George's shoulders, and stared him straight in the eye.
"Okay. I need you to pay very, very…VERY close attention to what I'm about to teach you. Do you understand?"
George nodded.
Ezra, Gus, Phineas and Paul had gotten around to the front of the house. They stood in front of the brick manse, which looked foreboding even during the afternoon. With it's tall towers and detailed décor, Paul realized that the man who had built this house was very rich…and that was him.
Too bad they didn't let ghosts into BestBuy.
They walked up the steps and Paul opened the right front door to go in. The other three simply walked through the closed door.
"Oh yeah…" Paul muttered as he shut the door behind him, "I can do that now."
If they had feeling, the four would've felt the temperature get instantly lower – the house was cool and refreshing on a hot summer's day, and a habitat only for ghosts and eskimos in the winter. It's disregard of a heating system added that perfect chill to creep out to paranoid ghost hunters and dared troublemakers alike.
The foyer consisted of a small room with wood paneled walls and a portrait that Paul recognized as the body he was now inhabiting. A fireplace was below that, and it seemed to have died out, save for a few coals glowing meekly. Suddenly, his new voice filled the room, but Paul wasn't speaking.
"Where hinges creak in doorless chambers…and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls…"
"George would usually do this in person, but I guess since he set the recording on," Phineas whispered to Paul. It looked like the mansion got more 'business' than he and Leila thought.
"…where candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still…that is the time when ghosts are present…practicing their terror with ghoulish delight."
Paul chuckled at the narration. Looks like ghosts had a lot of free time on their hands. However, his chuckle quickly died when he saw that the portrait of George was transforming. It changed from the stately, young, and handsome man that Paul now was into a abnormally pale and gaunt looking skeleton. The eyes, still bright blue, seemed to leer at him and the others.
Suddenly one of the paneled walls opened up, sliding away to reveal a room. It seemed pretty small, but there was plenty of room for a little crowd of people, let alone four ghosts.
"This is gonna be good," Gus said, raising his eyebrows at Paul as Phineas and Ezra walked in the room.
"Welcome, foolish mortals…to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host…your 'ghost host,'" the recording said with a very George-like joke and a chuckle. "Our tour begins here, in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in, please, and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now…"
"There's no turning back now," Leila muttered as she buckled her seat belt and George slowly started the car. She had gone over everything she knew about driving, enough to get them to the mansion and home. He moved to drive, and slowly pushed on the pedal. The car started to move, and George gasped.
"Such an amazing invention! Such a shame I wasn't alive in this era!" He said in awe, pulling out.
"You don't get out much, do you?" Leila asked as he made a sharp curve onto the road. She lurched in her seat and held on tight. At least he was going the speed limit.
"For some reason we are all bound to the mansion. Many a time we have tried to leave, and Leota has cast spell after spell…but it seems that there's some sort of barrier around the house and grounds; like an invisible wall," he explained absentmindedly, drifting into the other lane.
"WATCH THE ROAD!" Leila screamed, and George jerked the car back over to his side, narrowly missing a large red truck, who honked and swore loudly at the two.
"Er…you don't need to remember any of those words either," Leila said with a frown.
"Yes, sorry about that, dreadful mistake," George mumbled, embarrassed. He had been sent to the finest schools in the country and was one of the smartest people in his time…why couldn't he master this simple device?
After a few minutes he got the hang of it, and he and Leila relaxed a bit. But as they passed the mansion on the way to Leila's house to get some supplies, she got her usual aura of foreboding…
"Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding," the Ghost Host recording said darkly. Paul did feel nervous, and for good reason: the four paintings in the gallery had started to stretch, along with the rest of the room.
The portraits had originally been a young woman in her summer dress holding a parasol, an older gentleman placing a document in the breast pocket of his stately tuxedo, a young man smiling with his arms folded, and an old woman holding a rose. But as the room elongated there seemed to be more to these haunting works of art.
The young woman was standing on a fraying tightrope over a river…with a hungry crocodile waiting patiently below with open jaws…
The gentleman was actually wearing only boxer shorts, slacks, and shoes from the waist down…and standing on a barrel of dynamite with a lit fuse…
The young man was actually sitting on the shoulders of another man, who was in turn sitting on the shoulders of another man, who was the only one aware that all three are doomed...for he was waist deep in quicksand…
And the old lady was sitting on her husband's gravestone, and they could see a bust of her husband at the base of the Grave... with his head split by an axe.
"…Almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis," the narration continued through this entire happening, "Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors." With an evil chuckle the room stopped stretching, and Paul looked around – they were indeed trapped. He tried to fight the nerve to panic, and looked at his three companions.
They had looks of extreme boredom on their faces, and Ezra let out a yawn.
"…Which offers you this chilling challenge…to find…a way out!" And with a maniacal cackle, the room was plunged into darkness.
Lightning flashed from above, and Paul looked up to see that the ceiling that had once been there was gone, and in its place was a skeleton wearing a frayed and tattered tuxedo hanging from some rafters by a thick rope. The lightning stopped, and they were left in the darkness again. Paul turned to face Ezra, Phineas and Gus, and realized that they were glowing bright green, illuminating the room slightly.
"Medical condition," Gus explained.
"Was that…" Paul asked, a lump in his throat.
"Yup. The big boss man, the head honcho, the 'all-that-and-a-bag-o-potato-chips'…you."
"Me?" Paul squeaked, causing George's voice to sound very strange.
"Oh, relax…not YOU you…your body you. That up there was George's corpse. That's how he died."
"He hung himself?"
"Er…not exactly…"
"But how-" Paul was about to ask, but suddenly another panel slid open, motioning them to continue on.
"Oh…I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely…the REAL chills come later. Now, as they say, look 'alive'…and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please," the recording warned fiendishly. They entered an ornately decorated hallway, filled with urns and a small table and chair. Ezra motioned for them to follow him, and they came to a T-intersection.
"Take a left," Gus instructed, and the four ghosts did so. The hallway the entered was pitch black, and for a few seconds Paul couldn't see anything…but soon the way was lit again, and they stopped at a staircase leading to a balcony.
"Oy! Prudence!" Phineas called. A few seconds later, and much to Paul's surprise, a candelabra that seemed to be floating came to the edge of the balcony!
"What now!" A woman's voice drawled. Paul speculated that there was a ghost holding the floating candles, and watched with interest.
"Just checkin' to make sure you're still up there," Phineas replied cheerfully, and they continued through the hallway underneath the balcony. George could hear Prudence groan as they moved on.
They passed a strange hallway with many 'family portraits' as Gus described it, each of the eyes eerily large and watching the ghosts as they continued on their tour...
And soon Ezra, Gus and Phineas led Paul into a room that brought a smile to his face. A large library.
"Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions – only ghost stories of course. And marble busts of some of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all…retired here, to the Haunted Mansion. Actually," the narration continued as Paul spotted a piano that seemed to be playing itself, but guessed there was a ghost there, "we have nine hundred and ninety-nine 'happy haunts' here…but there's room for a thousand…any volunteers?"
"Actually, we have nine hundred and ninety-nine 'happy haunts' there," George explained to Leila. He had been filling her in on the mansion and its history as he pulled into her driveway (hitting the curb on the way in), and parked.
"Okay, I just want to grab some books I have on ghosts and such, and maybe some food, y'know…" she said as she got out of her car. She unlocked the front door with her key and opened it.
"Leila? Is that you?" came a call from inside. It was her mother.
Leila froze. Her mom knew Paul pretty well…what if she figured out that he wasn't exactly…himself…right now?
"Uh…yeah!" She called back hesitantly, "Paul and I are just dropping by, grabbing a few things…"
"Paul's here? Oh, I haven't talked to him for ages! Send him in here!"
George and Leila stared at each other.
"What should I do?" George asked uncertainly.
"Just…try to act natural," Leila said helplessly as they went inside.