Chapter 35

-1 week later-

Don't hang your head low 'cause I can't see your face
in your reflection I see your beauty embrace
and when the light shines bright to show you your way
do not be weary don't turn your head away

Brooke was finally able to get rid of her brace and cast. She still used the crutches every once in a while when it hurt, but for the most part, she was healed. But, the chemo had begun to take a toll on her. She was throwing up constantly. She always had head aches, and she rarely felt normal anymore. She tried her best to get to school everyday but it was hard. She knew it would eventually get better, but at the time, it was getting hard to go on living. Lucas tried to stay with her as much as possible, but knew his mom would kill him if he didn't get to school. Today had started as a really bad day. Brooke had already been to the bathroom twice and taken Tylenol for a forming head ache. But, she was determined to make it to school. Today was finals, and she couldn't miss that. She had spent the entire night studying so she would do well. And plus, she didn't want to have to make it up. So she took two Tylenol and continued to get ready for school. Lucas walked in as she was doing her hair.

"how are you feeling today?" he asked

"ok" she lied. She felt like hell.

"that's good. Finals today"

"yeah I know"

"are you ready?"

"as ready as I'll ever be" she smiled

"you'll do fine pretty girl"

"thanks" he walked back out of the room to continue getting ready as well.

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so let the critics look upon you with a thousand eyes
and let their tongues do their judging and criticize
and you just sit here before us and reveal your life

"come on Hales we have to get going" Nathan yelled through the apartment

"I'm coming"

"You cant possible be doing last minute studying"

"there's always more to learn Nathan"

"you are such a dork"

"yeah well you married me" she shouted. He couldn't help but laugh. She came rolling round the corner.

"I love you" she said

"I love you too" they shared a kiss before getting the rest of their things and leaving.

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go on, go on my child
go on, go on my child

"Are you ready for them" Jake asked Peyton as he sat on her bed, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom.

"Whatever. My motto is if I don't already know, then I'm never gonna learn" she jeered

"that's a great motto, remind me to teach Jenny the rules of school and not let that up to you"

"Haha" she walked out of the bathroom and smiled "we'll see about that"

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your soul is aching and it's dying to be heard
this might be painful but consider the worth
and when you feel like there's nobody on your side
they will embrace you with a radiant smile

They all arrived at school, on time none the less, and filed into their classrooms. Today was going to be one long day. Brooke's first final was biology, a class she loved and was actually good at. She was well prepared for this one and knew she was going to do well. Haley and Lucas had math, and Nathan and Peyton had history. Brooke finished way before the other students and turned her test in. She went back to her seat when she felt that awful feeling. She immediately asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. There she threw up and began washing her face with the cold water from the sink when Rachel walked in.

"Good God, what happened to you. You look like hell"

"I feel like hell" Brooke shot back

"so seriously, how have you been"

"since I moved out of your hell hole"

"look Brooke, I'm not really good at this, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to treat you like that."

"yeah ok Rachel whatever"

"Brooke I'm serious"

"have you ever been serious a day in your life"

"well not really, but this time I mean it"

"well than in that case thanks"

"so where are you living these days anyhow"

"with Lucas"

"oooo, playing house are you"

"no it's not like that"

"ok" Rachel sneered. God, Brooke really hated her sometimes. She felt that feeling again and ran to the nearest stall.

"God Brooke, what is wrong with you"

After Brooke was finished she walked back out and wiped her mouth with her hand. "this stupid chemo"

"oh man Brooke, I'm sorry"

"Geez this must be a record, Rachel Gattina apologizing twice in one day."

"yeah don't get used to it" she smiled

"I'm not feeling so good" Brooke sighed

"yeah I can tell. Do you want me to take you home"

"No I have to stay and finish my finals"

"Brooke you're finals can wait"

"No, I need to do this"

"whatever" Rachel walked out of the bathroom. Brooke checked herself one more time in the mirror before heading out herself.

so let the critics look upon you with a thousand eyes
and let their tongues do their judging and criticize
and you just sit here before us and reveal your life

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go on, go on my child
go on, go on my child

Second period was a little better. She had history, a subject she didn't know quite as well, but still felt she would do good. After that was lunch so that was good.

"Hey baby" Lucas said to her as he walked up to her locker

"hey" she said giving him a kiss

"so how are they going" he asked

"good"

"that's good"

"are you ready for lunch"

"I'm not that hungry"

"you have to be. You haven't eaten anything all day"

"Well I guess that's another side effect" she said half smiling

"I guess" he tried to agree with her to show that he was supportive. "well lets at least go and sit down, we need the break. Only two more to go"

"thank God" she said grabbing his arm and walking toward the cafeteria.

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so you wanna give up and you can't find strength
but I believe that you will make it in the end
so you wanna step back and you want to retreat
but I believe that there ain't nothing you can't be
nothing you can't be

During her math final, Brooke's head ache grew very large. It took all her focus away from the test and onto the pain in her head. Why did this have to happen to her? She thought it was suppose to get better, not worse. She wanted to cry, with everything inside her, she wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Cry away the pain she felt. Cry away the sickness she had to endure. Cry away everything that was wrong in her life. She forced the tears back, and tried to concentrate on the work in front of her. But it was too hard. She asked yet again to be excused to the bathroom. There she sat in the corner and tried to breathe away the pain. She had to do something. The pain eventually passed and she got up, washed her face again in the sink, and headed back to her test.

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don't feel so naked I am the blanket of hope
your words are life rafts and they keep us afloat
and when this long painful journey comes to an end
they will be touched by the message
the message you've sent

Brooke was so glad that school was finally over. Today had been hell, and she couldn't wait to curl up in her bed and fall asleep.

"Brooke wait up" Peyton called down the hall. She turned around to wait for her goldy blonde friend.

"what is it?"

"can you give me a lift. Jake took the car to work and I have no way home"

"yeah that's fine. Are you ready to leave now?"

"yeah just let me quick go to my locker"

"Ok that's fine. I'll wait for you in the car" Brooke replied before heading in the opposite direction. She sat in the car, looking for something good on the radio to pass the time. She felt like it took forever for Peyton to finally come out.

"Sorry" she said as she climbed in

"its fine"

"are you okay" Peyton asked as they began leaving the parking lot.

"yeah just peachy" Brooke said sarcastically

"Brooke"

"I'm just not feeling very well today"

"oh ok"

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so let the critics look upon you with a thousand eyes
and let their tongues do their judging and criticize
and you just sit here before us and reveal your life

Brooke passed out as soon as she got home. The pain she felt was awful, and all she wanted to do was sleep it away. Lucas came home, saw her sleeping and decided not to bother her. She sensed his presence however and stirred in her sleep.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you"

"I wasn't asleep. I cant seem to fall asleep"

"would you like some company" he offered

"I would love some" she smiled. He crawled in behind her and spooned himself around her. He layed there for a while, rubbing her arm.

"is the pain going away"

"not really"

"I'm sorry Brooke, I wish I could take all your pain away"

"It would help if I wasn't always thinking about it, you know"

"I think I have the cure for that" he said before walking to his bookshelf and then crawling back in bed. He opened the book and began reading 'Of Mice and Men'. She was out within in the first few minutes, but he kept reading anyways. He loved reading to her.

go on, go on my child
go on, go on my child

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Nathan and Haley walked into their apartment after school and sat on the couch.

"that was fun" she said

"you really are a dork" he smiled and kissed her "so are you happy with our decision about college"

"well considering we made them while playing a childish game, I don't know. But honestly, I'll be happy no matter what." she said and kissed him "are you"

"I will be as long as I'm with you" Nathan had won the game, so they were both going to Duke. Although Haley wouldn't be going to Stanford, she was happy as long as she could be with Nathan, because that's when she felt the happiest. She leaned into her husband's arms and sat there for what seemed like forever. Everything was going to be okay. Although they would all be leaving in a week, everything would be okay.

go on, go on my child
go on, go on my child
go on, go on my child

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song is "Go on my child" by Michelle Featherstone