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Raven's secret-keeper

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Unforeseen Surprises

Chapter 8: Uneasy Aftermath

Dove's eyelids were drooping at breakfast, and she kept yawning even though she tried desperately to stop it. Raven asked her why, and Dove looked at her with desperate, almost pleading eyes and looked away.

"I need to be excused…" Without eating a bit of her food, she got up and went into her room.

She sat down in the middle of her bed with her knees bent against her chest. She crossed her arms over her knees and put her head on her arms. A shudder escaped her as she fought to stay awake.

A few minutes later, Raven came in. Dove turned her head.

"Dove, what's wrong? You haven't been sleeping well at all in the past week. Are you okay?"

Dove shrugged. "I keep myself awake."

"Why?"

Dove was silent. Then she said, "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of sleeping. Dreams become nightmares. And the painful memories…" She shuddered. "It all hurts so much. It makes me lose control. I worry that I'm losing myself, Raven. I feel like it's all taking over my soul."

Raven sat on the edge of the bed and listened.

"Raven… Have you ever felt what it's like being burned to ashes while every fiber of you is still alive? It hurts so much, so very much… I wonder if I'm getting a glimpse of hell itself."

Dove turned her head to Raven. Pain was in her eyes, in the tears threatening to fall, and on her face.

Vivid empathy was burning in Raven's soul, of pain, and memories, and lost lives, and their tortured souls.

"Raven… Sensing a thousand and more souls dying is unbearable. I wished I could just die then and there, cut of the line feeding torturous pain into me. That vision sparked a flame of fear I've never extinguished. And each time I remember, it flares brighter and brighter." Dove swallowed and inhaled shakily. When she spoke again, her voice was broken and tight.

"I keep myself awake because of it. If I sleep, it's because I can't keep myself awake any longer. Even thinking about it… It's a scar nothing can remove. It hurts so terribly bad…" She put her head between her chest and her knees and sobbed.

Raven was still grasping this; she was still trying to accept Dove as a sister, a person who also has the demon called Trigon for a father. Raven wanted to somehow comfort her, to console the pain, or at least ease the suffering a bit. Her reasons were both because of her empathetic powers and her empathetic experience. Though she never forced herself to stay awake, she always used to wonder if he would ever claim her as his own, or wipe out her human part, or even possess her, until he was destroyed. The memories still sometimes haunt her, but she wasn't phobic about it.

"Dove, I… understand what you mean, but… You really shouldn't keep yourself awake."

"But… I-I can't help it! I try to calm myself down, or t-t-to at least sleep, but… It's n-never work- Raven, it's not so easy!" Dove sobbed some more.

"Dove… How often do you have these nightmares?"

"N-not much, b-b-but when they do happen, it's so horrible…"

"Dove, I know exactly what you're talking about."

Dove looked up.

"I… had a couple of unpleasant dreams when Azar died…"

Dove blinked. "What were they like?" she asked quietly.

"More like visions than dreams… But they came to me as I was sleeping. I still remember it all vividly… I was only ten years old, but I still knew what was happening. My mother heard me thrashing and screaming, and she ran in to my room and threw her arms around me…"

"What were they about?"

Raven was silent, trying to find the right words to describe the sensations and feeling she had experienced.

Dove looked into Raven's eyes unwittingly before saying meekly, "It's okay… I just read your mind."

"Oh. Uh… Alright. So, you know you need to sleep, but can't?"

"No. I try, but like I said, I can't."

"Maybe you should try meditating before you lay down. It might help clear your mind and help you shed some of your fears."

"Really?"

Raven nodded. "Try for a few nights, and see what happens."

Dove's skepticism was still obvious on her face.

"Just at least try, Dove." Raven stood up and left.

Dove sighed. She thought about it, and realized that Raven knew more than she did, and decided to try.

Luckily, Raven was right, and Dove managed to stay asleep for about three or four hours the next night.

Her lessons with Raven continued without even slowing down, and Raven never even brought up the incident. Dove found this odd, but thought maybe it was because she shouldn't be thinking about it if Raven didn't bring it up.

A week or so later, Dove had fully caught up on her sleep, and Raven slipped Dove an approving and reassuring smile. Dove nodded in response.

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-Raven's secret-keeper