Stella rubbed her eyes with the back of her latex gloved hand, her work in the lab nowhere near done. She'd been processing the glass from the windshield, piecing together the moment of impact to determine just how fast the driver had been going when he hit Danny. Her early estimates went as high as 50mph, but she still hadn't factored in the tread marks left on the sidewalk and on the street. A soft knock against the paned glass door startled her out of her thoughts and she looked up to find Hawkes walking in.
"You know, it's past nine," he mentioned, having already taken off his lab coat and put on a light evening jacket.
"Sorry, I didn't realize just how fast time had flown by. I guess I got lost in my work," Stella answered with a small smile. She pulled off her gloves and placed them on the light table then began to take off her lab coat. "You wanna head out to the hospital now?" she added, throwing it over a chair.
"That's what I was just about to ask you. Flack called and said he'd meet us there later on tonight. He still needs to wrap up another case before he's done for the day," Hawkes returned her smile as he grabbed hold of the door and pulled it open, waiting for her to walk through first.
"Thank you," Stella softly replied before heading to the locker room to retrieve her purse and jacket. "I'll see you in a minute. We'll take my car." And, true to her word, Stella was downstairs in the parking garage a few minutes later, keys to her black Lexus LS in hand. The drive to the hospital was short and silent, both having plenty on their minds after such a harrowing day at the lab. Mac hadn't called with anymore updates, making Stella a little uneasy about what she'd find at the hospital when they got there. She was afraid for Danny, and even more so for Lindsay. There was nothing more traumatic than having to watch someone you cared for get hurt. 'Poor girl will be in therapy for the rest of her life if he doesn't make it,' she silently thought to herself as she pulled into the parking garage across the street from St. Vincent's.
Stella paused for a moment before turning off the car. The fear was beginning to creep up on her again as she held on to the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, she finally turned off the engine and opened her door, feeling the cool Manhattan breeze rustle through her curly dark locks. She looked to her right and saw that Hawkes was already out of the car, prompting her to shut her door and turn on the alarm. They walked inside moments later, and their badges were enough to grant them access to almost anywhere they wanted. The nurse at the front desk had been very helpful and pointed them towards the ICU after giving them Danny's room number.
"Well, here goes," Stella said when they reached the elevators and pressed the up button. Her heart was now fluttering just as Lindsay's had while she waited here several hours earlier. When the doors opened, Stella let out another deep sigh as she stepped into the confined space and pressed three. Another wave of apprehensive anticipation washed over her when the doors opened to their floor and she stepped into the dimly lit hallway now made darker by the night.
Slowly, the pair walked down the long corridor, their shoes echoing softly, until they reached room 3591. "Here we are," Hawkes announced, glancing at Stella as they both stood at the closed door, neither one wanting to grab the handle and open it. They stared at each other for another moment before Hawkes finally took the handle and slowly pushed it down, opening the door to reveal the dimly lit room behind it.
Mac quickly looked up when he heard the door open, but wasn't surprised when he saw the visitors. "Good evening," he softly greeted them with a weary smile. Having Lindsay's head lying on his shoulder made it hard to do much else without waking her.
"Hi," Stella and Hawkes replied in unison.
"Looks like someone is finally getting some well deserved rest," Stella said as she stepped closer to his chair and saw Lindsay sleeping against his shoulder. A warm smile came to her lips seeing the peaceful expression on the younger woman's face.
"Yeah, the doctor had to sedate her when she finally lost it after seeing Danny," Mac answered, stretching just a bit before adjusting his shoulder so Lindsay's neck wasn't at such a strange angle.
The smile disappeared from Stella's face upon hearing that news. Her heart ached for the young woman. She'd been through more than she could handle that day, and it finally caught up to her. "Here, I'll take her," Stella offered, motioning for Mac to get up so she could replace him as Lindsay's makeshift pillow. "You look like you need a break."
"Thank you," Mac graciously replied as he slowly pulled himself away from the petite woman while Stella delicately held her head in her hands. As soon as he was free, he took up holding Lindsay as Stella sat down in the previously occupied chair. Mac laid Lindsay's head against her shoulder and fully stretched out now. His stiff muscles finally gave way to relief as he looked down at the two women sitting side by side. "The doctor said she should be up soon. He didn't give her all that much, just enough to knock her out for a couple of hours and keep her calm once she woke up," he informed Stella.
"Poor kid," she sighed, gently running her hand over the top of Lindsay's disheveled locks.
"I think I finally figured out why she's been acting so strange," Mac said. Stella gazed up at him as he added, "I think she might have feelings for Danny that go beyond a working relationship."
"Wait, you're just figuring this out now?" Stella answered back. She'd known for a while that Danny and Lindsay had feelings for each other. Having overheard one of their conversations a few weeks back that included Lindsay actually admitting to having feelings for him but being unable to act on those feelings for personal reasons gave Stella all the more reason to feel sorry for her. "I thought you'd be the first one to figure it out."
"Obviously not…" he retorted. "How long have you known?"
"A few weeks now; ever since that case involving the dancer speared by the icicle," she answered.
Mac looked at her thoughtfully for several long moments before he said, "It makes sense," and dropped the whole conversation before it went any further. "I think I'll grab some coffee. Anyone else want any?"
"I'll come with you," Hawkes quickly replied, feeling uneasy after overhearing Mac and Stella's conversation about Danny and Lindsay's feelings towards each other. He wasn't about to say he also knew, fearing it would only get him in trouble. It was better to let it drop than have to drag it out, especially for Lindsay's sake.
"Bring me back some," Stella softly called to them as they made their way out of the room.
When the door shut with a light click of the latch, she turned her attention to Danny and finally saw the extent of his injuries. At first, she couldn't believe that this was even him laying there in the hospital bed. The last time she'd seen him was that morning; he had looked so happy and full of life. Now, he'd been reduced to what seemed like a vegetable. His body was stiff and rigid, there was no expression on his handsome face, and he looked so lifeless and vulnerable. No, this wasn't the Danny Messer she knew. It couldn't be him.
For a moment, Stella wanted to beg for this to be someone else she was staring at, and that Danny was perfectly fine, but that moment faded when she realized that this really was him, and that someone had done this to him. Her anger began to bubble up when she started to think about the crime scene and having to see all that blood, then finding out this was the fault of a drunk driver. 'Fucking bastard,' Stella angrily thought, breathing in deep to get her rage under control. It was a tough thing to do, especially when she glanced down at Lindsay.
Stella gripped the armrest of the chair until her fingers turned white and her hand went numb, which was when she finally realized that no matter what she did or how angry she got, nothing was going to take away what had happened that day. At least she could take comfort in the fact that her friend was still alive.
"Keep fighting, Danny," Stella whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with her hand when she felt Lindsay take a deep breath and start to wake up on her shoulder.
"Mmmm," the younger woman groaned, her hand falling against her face to wipe away the imaginary cobwebs.
"Hey, sleeping beauty," Stella said when she turned to her friend.
Lindsay lifted her head off Stella's shoulder and sleepily glanced around to check out her surroundings. "Where am I?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned deeply.
"You're at the hospital," Stella gently answered, hoping she wouldn't freak out even though Mac had told her the drugs in her system would keep her calm even after she woke up.
Lindsay's eyes widened as it all quickly came back to her. "Oh, God," she whispered, her face falling into her hands, making Stella think she was going to start crying again.
"Oh, hey, don't do that. Everything's okay now," she wrapped her arm around her friend and tried to comfort her.
"I'm alright," Lindsay replied as she picked up her head, her face expressionless. "I'm just…" She left her sentence hanging when her eyes caught sight of Danny lying in the hospital bed. A frown graced her pale pink lips as her face darkened.
"What's wrong, Lindsay?" Stella softly asked when she saw the expression on her face.
Lindsay wasn't listening. Instead, she stood up slowly, her legs feeling unsteady from the drug still coursing through her system, but that didn't discourage her from slowly walking towards the bed. She stopped when she found herself standing at Danny's side. Her hand reached out and gently brushed up against his. The coldness that had been there earlier was gone, replaced by a soothing warmth. A deep sigh of relief escaped her lungs as she locked her fingers with his and continued to stand there just staring at him.
From her chair at the foot of the bed, Stella watched the touching moment with intent. She could clearly see that Lindsay's feelings for Danny ran deeper than she could have imagined. A smile turned up the corners of her lips when she realized just how much he meant to the young woman. She stood up and made her way to Lindsay's side until she brushed against her shoulder. Lindsay glanced up at her, a small smile finally gracing her pretty face.
"You love him, don't you?" Stella probed.
Lindsay sighed. "I don't know if 'love' is the word I'd use to describe it," she candidly answered as she looked up at the only person she could trust with this kind of information. "Promise me that whatever is said in this room stays between you and me." Lindsay held up her free hand, her pinky pointed outward as she waited for an answer.
"I promise," Stella replied, locking pinkies.
"How do you really know if you love someone?" Lindsay continued, her gaze falling back to the bed. "I have feelings for Danny, strong feelings, but I don't know if you can classify them as love because I haven't even given myself the chance to get to know him yet. Worst of all, I haven't given him the chance to get to know me, and now I'm afraid that I just missed out on a good thing." She used the exact same words he'd told her that afternoon after she'd dismissed his advances for the final time. It brought a tear to her eyes having to think about how right he had been when he said that. "I wish I could go back and change everything. Maybe then I wouldn't be standing here feeling like the biggest jackass on the planet."
"But you can't," Stella reasoned. A long silence passed between them as Lindsay looked up at her, the sadness returning to her chocolate brown eyes. "However, it's not too late to tell Danny how you feel. There's a theory that people in a coma can hear what's going on around them, so why don't you just tell him now, that way, if tomorrow never comes, at least you got to say everything you wanted to say to him."
Lindsay looked back down at Danny, absorbing everything Stella had just told her. She sighed deeply before replying, "Can I have a few minutes alone?"
"Of course," Stella said, "Take all the time you need. I'll hold off Mac and the others until you're done." She gave Lindsay an encouraging smile before walking out the door, making sure to close it behind her.
Now that she was alone, Lindsay pulled a chair up to Danny's bedside and took his hand again, this time holding it in both of hers as she gazed at him, her eyes threatening to spill more tears with her emotions running rampant. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but with so little time, she tried to keep it short and simple.
"I'm so sorry, Danny," she began. "I never meant to be so harsh and so cruel. I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could go back and change everything. I'd tell you exactly why I stood you up for lunch. I was so scared of what might happen if we got together and found out that we really weren't as into each other as we first thought. But now I know… I know that you had feelings for me and that you didn't give up on me even when that one Suicide Girl tried to ask you out and you declined." Lindsay paused for a moment to wipe the tears spilling for her eyes with the back of her hand. In a shaky voice, she added, "If I could go back right now, I would have met you for lunch. I would have given you a chance, but I was so stupid."
The steady flow of tears that fell down Lindsay's cheeks clouded her vision as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat that had now formed. "Please, Danny, please forgive me," she begged, leaning closer to his face and brushing her fingers lightly over his cheek. "I love you. Please don't let this be the last time I get to say it to you. Please don't die. Please! I can't lose you like I lost so many others!" Her head fell against the bed beside his as she silently wept for her fallen love. She held his hand against her chest hoping he'd feel her heart breaking for him.
Several minutes passed before Lindsay heard a knock at the door. It opened as she lifted her head off the bed, revealing Stella in the doorway, her face clouded with concern. She immediately noticed the river of tears running down the younger woman's face and went to comfort her. "I got worried," Stella said as she sat down beside Lindsay and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Are you okay?" Lindsay only nodded, afraid her voice would give out if she spoke. "Flack is here, so is everyone else. They wanna see Danny, but I told them you needed a few minutes with him."
"I'm done," Lindsay shakily replied as she wiped the tears off her face and let go of Danny's hand so the others could have their time. Stella stood keeping her arm around the younger woman's shoulders in a show of support. They walked to the door together and were greeted with warm smiles from the guys. They all gave her a tight hug and reassured her everything would be alright. She tried to stay positive and smile back, but it didn't work out so well. Her mind was already spinning, especially after having finally admitted that she loved Danny and was scared as hell to lose him.
Stella noticed the emptiness in her eyes and pulled Lindsay down the hall with her. "Come on, let's get some dinner," she suggested. Lindsay shrugged and followed her to the elevators. They both needed some time away from the hospital in order to collect their thoughts, and now was a good time.
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Eeee! Happy mood day! LoL! I'm just a little bouncy right now, hehe. I'm so happy after reading all those wonderful comments from you guys! They've made my week! So glad you all liked that last chapter. That was definitely one of my favorites to write, aside from this one. Yep, I think I see many jaws a droppin' right now and I can't wait to hear about what you're thinking! Was it too soon to write that? Just wondering! Now you've got the method to my madness. But, alas, there's sooo much more where that came from. I'm nowhere near done with Lindsay yet. I can't leave that girl alone. She's an easy target! What can I say?!
Anyway, lemmie get down to thanking you guys now, cuz I got a lot of thanks this time around!! First and foremost, that anon person that gave me the correct spelling of Lindsay's name... DAMN! I didn't realized I totally overlooked that! HUGE oops on my part! Thank you so much for catching that! I definitely have to fix those first five chapters now. Thank you sooooooooooo much! I don't feel like an idiot anymore! Yay! And to you others: simbagirl, summertales, and Liffey, you guys are awesome! Thank you so much for your support I really really appreciate it!
peanut2lb: I couldn't stop smiling after I read your review. It catapulted me into writing this chapter because I just wanted to hear from you again! LoL! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I try to put as much emotion as I possibly can so that people identify with the characters. So glad you're liking it! I keep thinking I'm not doing enough! Hehe. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! You're definitely keeping me on track with this story!
chili-peppers: Aww! Thank you!!! I love writing touching scenes like those. Make-your-heart-melt moments are my specialty! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! I tried to put as many in here as I possibly could cuz it's so important that we see just how affect Lindsey is about what's happened to Danny. I hope I got that point across! Thank you so much for your wonderful comments!
Leanne: So glad to hear your weekend went well! And I will definitely email you sometime soon. :) Thank you so much for the wonderful comment! You're definitely helping my fickle muse by feeding her with your kind words! She's in a good mood right now, which is how I got this chapter up so fast. :) I don't wanna give up any spoilers or anything about the following chapters, but there will definitely be some Danny/Lindsey drama in there, if you can catch my drift. ;) And I totally know what you mean about couples sneaking into your subconscious. That's how I was with Roswell's Max/Lix, Michael/Maria, Fastlane's Van/Billie, and Alias's Sidney/Vaughn relationships. I could write and write about those endlessly! LOL! But now I'm stuck on Danny and Lindsey, so I might as well write until my fingers bleed and my mind goes numb, hehe! Thanks again for your wonderful comments!!! I can't tell you how much they've helped me through my hard times. I hope everything goes well with you. Have a great week and I hope you enjoyed this update. Can't wait to hear from you again!
bookwrangler: Double awww! Hehehe. I feel like a bubbling teenager again. I loved your review!! Absolutely loved it! And I expanded on that "Duh!" moment in this chapter, just for you. :) I'm so glad that moment made you smile. I've been trying to incorporate those moments wherever I can, because this story definitely needs them! And don't go thanking me! I should be thanking you!! You (along with everyone else) feed me with reviews that keep me going! So, from the bottom of MY heart, THANK YOU!
And, of course, my anon. people: Thank you so much for just reading! I can't believe this story's been hit over 4600 times! And I'm only on chapter 6! This is more than my other stories ever got in 5 chapters! enormous grin THANK YOU!!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!!
Whew, that was a lot of thanking. But I love doing that. Makes it all worthwhile if you asked me. Next chapter should be finished in a day or two. :) And coming soon... My holiday fic!! That's right, a sweet little Christmas fic involving our two favorite characters. And don't worry, this one will NOT be as angsty as the ones I've already written. Definitely expect more humor and romance with that one. :) Can't wait to hear from you all! Have a great day!
-DK