"Thanks, Stella," Lindsey said as the pair stepped out of the diner down the street from the hospital about an hour later. Both had sorely needed that time to regain some composure and get a breath of fresh air. They slowly walked down the darkened street, taking their time before having to re-enter their worst nightmare. The dinner had been a brief respite, allowing them to talk about things other than Danny, like shopping, shoes, and the days gone by. But Lindsey's mind would stray every so often, wondering if what Stella had said was true and if Danny had heard her.
"Anytime," Stella replied, knocking Lindsey out of the train wreck that would have ensued if she'd continued her thoughts. She linked arms with the younger woman and let her rest her head against her shoulder. "Tired?" she asked.
"Not really," Lindsey answered, her eyes focused on the sidewalk ahead of them and the hospital looming in the distance. "I just… I don't know. I've never liked hospitals and I really don't want to go back in there, but I know I have to because I can't leave Danny alone. I'm afraid to."
"Why are you so afraid? He's surrounded by capable people who can help him if he needs any help," Stella probed, looking for Lindsey's real reasons. There was something she wasn't telling her, and she was determined to find out what it was.
Lindsey stopped and turned towards her friend, tears present in her chocolate brown eyes telling her that she'd been thinking about this for a long time. "I'm scared… I'm scared that…" she was stumbling to find the words then suddenly changed the subject. "You know how you asked me if I loved Danny and I told you that it wasn't love…" Stella stared at her for a moment before she suddenly realized what the younger woman was trying to tell her. Lindsey began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt, fraying one of the fibers that were hanging from it.
"You really do love him," Stella softly finished. Lindsey nodded without looking at her as a tear dripped down her cheek and hit the sidewalk.
"I love him so much that it scares me to think I might lose him," Lindsey wept. She used the back of her hand to wipe the tears from her eyes before continuing. "I've lost so many people I've loved; my mother, my sister, my grandparents, and my last boyfriend, who also happened to be someone I worked with back in Montana. All of them taken from me before I ever got a chance to tell them I loved them. That's the real reason I took this job. I thought that if I left Montana, I wouldn't have to worry about losing someone I loved again. But here I am, that monster still on my shoulder, following me around everywhere I go. I fall in love and there it is, ready to take it away from me. I tried like hell to stop myself from falling for Danny because I was afraid something like this would happen, but I did, and now it's come to bite me in the ass like it always does."
Stella stood there, shocked by what she was hearing. Never had Lindsey been so candid with her in all the months they'd worked together. And now here she was, pouring her heart out like a little girl. She didn't know what else to do aside from envelop her in a compassionate hug. Lindsey continued to cry on her shoulder as Stella said, "I'm here for you if you ever need to talk about anything, okay? So is everyone else. We all love you, Lindsey, and we'll do anything to help you. We'll get through this."
"I know," Lindsey answered as she lifted her head and wipe her tears away with her hand.
"Don't worry; soon enough you'll be telling Danny to stop using the excuse that his foot hurts and do his job," Stella tried to lighten the mood as she pulled away from the petite woman.
That got a smile and a giggle out of Lindsey as she wiped the remaining tears away from her eyes and began walking towards the hospital again. "Soon, I hope," Lindsey replied.
When the two women reached the ICU, they were again greeted warmly by their colleagues with genuine looks of concern that were focused towards Lindsey. For her part, she seemed to be getting back to her old self again, albeit she was slightly more guarded. Mac was the first to notice the change in her mood and pulled Stella aside to see what she'd said to the young woman while they'd been out.
"It seems like you worked a miracle," he said once they were out of earshot.
"She just needed someone who would listen, that's all," Stella answered, keeping her words to a minimum to make sure she didn't reveal any of the secrets she'd promised to keep.
"What did you two talk about?" Mac pressed.
"We're women, what do you think we talked about aside from men and shoes?" she shot back.
"I don't know," he replied, getting the hint that she wasn't about to tell him. "Shopping?"
Stella burst out laughing. That was a response she hadn't been expecting. "Oh, Mac," was all she could say as she tried to keep it down when she heard one of the nurses down the hall shush her. He smiled back at her and went to rejoin the others near Danny's door.
Lindsey gave them a funny look when they returned to the rest of the group, but she didn't ask what was going on. She was just glad to see the mood was starting to lighten. It was sorely needed after such a long, hard day.
"Come on, we should all be getting home," Mac announced as he went to retrieve his jacket. The others agreed and started to put on jackets and look for keys.
"I wanna stay," Lindsey spoke up. They all turned to her, the looks on their faces each unique and full of concern. "I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I stopped crying hours ago and I don't feel like this is all my fault anymore. Please, I just wanna be here so Danny knows at least one of us is looking out for him."
"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Mac replied, concern for the young woman who now felt more like a daughter appearing on his face once again.
Stella placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Let her stay, Mac. It's not like she'll be coming into work tomorrow anyway. Department policy, remember? She's gotta take a mandatory three days off after something like this."
Mac sighed but gave in, "Alright, you can stay, but if I find out that you had another breakdown, I'm coming down here and taking you home. Got it?"
"Yes, sir," Lindsey answered as a smile curled up on her lips. "No more breakdowns, I promise."
They all said their goodbyes and headed off towards the elevators while Lindsey stepped into Danny's room. She sat down in the seat she had previously occupied at his bedside and took his hand, her fingers locking with his as she whispered, "I'm here and I'm not leaving you again. You can rest easy tonight." Kicking off her shoes, Lindsey curled her feet up beneath her body and let her head fall against the hospital bed, never letting go of his hand.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
A lil' somethin' somethin' before tonight's ep. :) I hope you enjoyed that. I can't believe I'm almost done with this story. Just a few more chapters left! Woohoo!! But I can't believe how many responses I've gotten to it... HOLY CRAP! You guys are all soooo amazing!! I can't even begin to thank you all:D But I can try...
A: Thank you for the review! I know, I've thrown Lindsay through the ringer in this story, but in the next one, it's Danny's turn. Hehe. Glad you're enjoying it!
PrettyEyes72: Soon, very soon! I just don't know if it's gonna be the next chapter or the one after... I'm contemplating. :D It seems like it could go either way. Thanks for the review!
chili-peppers: Yes, she LOVES him!! Hehehe. And like I told PrettyEyes, Danny will wake up soon enough. :) I just don't know how soon. And I love that relationship between Stella and Lindsey too. I can totally see it in the show as well. Anyway, glad you liked the chapter so much! I hope you enjoyed this one too!
peanut2lb: Ah, the pinky swear... Reminds me of my childhood. I had to write that in there. It made sense, ya know? Growing up in the Midwest, that's the kinda thing we did with friends when we needed to tell them a secret that the had to keep. And that line, HAHA! I just HAD to put it in there! It was too funny not to! While the conversation Lindsay had with Danny finally got to the point I've been trying to make through this story... Lindsay loves him, she's just too scared to admit it. You'll see more of that in later chatpers... :D Yeah, that was a spoiler. Aww, thank you for the boost to my ego:) I really really appreciated it! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!
I Can Hear the Sea: Emotions, emotions, emotions! I love writing emotions! What can I say? The more of them your write, the more your readers identify with the characters. Emotions are what make good stories. And I'm so glad you can actually picture this happening! I try to write everything so that people can actually see it in their minds. I'm so glad you mentioned that. It really makes me feel so wonderful that my writing just keeps getting better and better with each story that I write. Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!
Liffey: OMG! YOU MADE MY DAY! You wanna talk about boosting my ego, that was it! I musta been flying high ever since:D You really cried?! AWWWW!!! I feel so... I dunno! I'm touched that I could write something that made people cry! I know, it sounds weird, but seriously, I've been wondering about my abilities as a writer, especially when it comes to emotional things like that. Thanks for giving me the confidence I needed! YOU ROCK!!!!!
prplerayne: EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BETA IS BACK!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I've missed you!!! So glad to finally hear from you again. :D What is up, my chica! Have a good time reading chapter 2, I see? Well, you did help me write parts of it, so I'd hope you'd enjoy it! LOL! Thanks for commenting, sweetie! I can't wait to see what else you've got to say about all these new updates. Take care and thank you over and over again!
simbagirl:D So glad you're enjoying this fic! So glad you enjoy this show!!! Hehe, it's not Fastlane, but DAMN IT'S GOOD! LoL! You get that email I sent you? I hope it helped. I'm not the best advice giver but I try. Thanks for the support and reviews! I hope you enjoyed this update!
crashdownmontana: I am in a wonderful mood! It seems like those four days off really helped my concentration, not to mention all the wonderful reviews I've received from you and everyone else. :D I couldn't agree with you more about reviews. They keep an author going! It's what drives me to write in the first place! Seeing people's reactions to what I write is something I really enjoy, be it good or bad. And I've had plenty of experience with both! Hehe. It makes you a better writer in my opinion when someone points out something that they feel doesn't belong in the story and you have to figure out how to fix it. Like that anon. person did last chapter with Lindsay's name and my flakiness on how to spell it correctly. Easy fix, but a REAL help in my book. :) I wish more people would do that, cuz I'd really like to know if I'm screwing something up that neither me nor my beta have caught. Anyway, thank you so much for your awesome reviews! I really appreciate them:D Have a great evening!
And all those that have read but haven't reviewed: Thank you as well! I'm surprised every time I post a chapter in this story and my hit counter goes up like 500 hits in an hour! LOL! Definitely makes me feel like this story is worth continuing. I hope that one of these days you will send me a comment because I'd love to hear what you're thinking!
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thanks for all your love and support! More story coming soon!
-DK