The weather was warm. Characteristically warm, of course. Naturally. It is always warm in the Caribbean, aside from those times when plot requires a storm of cataclysmic proportions, or some other natural phenomenon which changes the beautiful climate of the region entirely. At this current time in our tale, however, there was no such need, so the weather was as perfect as could possibly be desired.
It was also sunset, which has been statistically proven to the the appropriate time for any story to begin. The golden Caribbean sun was sinking into the western sea, and Captain Jack Sparrow was gazing intently into the pulsating molten orb, paying little heed to the danger of irreparably damaging his eyesight. His famous compass (which worked just fine) was held in his outstretched right hand. His left hand rested on the wheel, adjusting course now and again in accordance with the heading acquired from the compass.
Sparrow hummed quietly to himself, inaudibly mouthing the lyrics to a song which the author had no idea even existed before she saw the first PotC movie. "Yo ho, yo ho..." he hummed, but proceeded no further because said author couldn't remember any more words to the song.
"What's our heading, captain?" Gibbs called up from below.
"We shall make for Tortuga." Sparrow declared. Tortuga, was, of course, the perfect destination for our pirate crew, as any manner of person could pop up there without explanation asked or offered. Gibbs nodded approvingly, and went back below deck with the rest of the crew, who shall remain unnamed because they are not important to the plot at the time being.
It was a matter of a few days before they reached the pirate port, however, and by the time they got there, Sparrow was, of course, seeking female companionship. There is a perfectly logical explanation for this, in spite of the fact that Sparrow had captained the Black Pearl for a number of years without ever having this particular problem. That explanation, however, is not relevant to the plot and shall remain unspoken.
The crew of the Black Pearl wandered off to their own activities and pastimes, and Sparrow meandered disconsolately into the pub. He was predictably accosted by a duo of prostitutes, and predictably disputed their accusations, then proceeded to buy himself a very large amount of rum, because it had been established in the past that Jack Sparrow loved rum, and with this seemingly innocent plot device, the author hoped to gain some credibility in the way of interpreting the mind and insight of the character.
Sparrow was seated on (yes on, not at) a table in the corner of the room when he was approached by a young man in a hat. The hat was worn merely for the purpose of concealing the flowing locks of the young man, whose delicate features and complete lack of facial hair did nothing to alert the already-inebriated pirate to the fact that this was, of course, not a young man at all, but a rather attractive young woman.
"Captain Jack Sparrow." came the greeting. "I must say I'm not at all surprised to find you here."
"Mm. I must say the same about you." Sparrow said, good-naturedly, whilst trying to determine in his drunken state who the devil this was.
Elizabeth Swann rolled her eyes.
"This is hardly my idea of a holiday location, Captain Sparrow." she retorted. "In fact, the only reason I'm speaking to you at all, aside from the author's desire to illustrate clearly and promptly the repressed lust I hold for you in spite of the fact that I spent the entire length of the first film trying to convince my father and the Royal Navy that I am hopelessly in love with Will Turner, is...oh, wait, there is no other reason."
"Oh." Jack said, nodding in comprehension.
"Anyhow." Elizabeth went on. "If you see him, tell him I died. Or tell him we got married and made beautiful babies."
"All right." Jack agreed, not really listening. He was suddenly taken by a swarm of brightly glowing particles which seemed to be accumulating in the far corner of the room...
Meanwhile...
Krystylle Cooper threw herself onto her bed in an fit of adolescent rage. This was so unfair!
"I hate this!" she said, tears welling up in her deep blue eyes. She buried her head in her pillow and sobbed, her waist-length golden blond hair pooling around her head. Her twin sister Mystery, who was without doubt the intuitive half of the Cooper duo, sat down on the bed beside her.
"Oh, Krysty." she said, sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to be in the musical. And you were so perfect for the part, too. I remember when you auditioned, all the teachers looked at each other and said you should be on Broadway, you with your angelic singing voice and incredible acting ability. Why, I'm sure you were just meant to play the part, and then mom and dad had to go and plan the vacation on the same week as performances."
"Mysti." said Krysty tolerantly because it was in her nature to be kind and loving, and not only because this was her twin, the one person she trusted most in the world and shared all her deepest darkest secrets with, like the fact that even though she was sixteen years old she had never kissed a boy, even though many had, of course, been starstruck by her model's figure and amazing eyes. "I had actually noticed all that."
Mysti laughed, a girlish giggle that sounded something like silver bells.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Besides," Krysty went on, sitting up. "You have a right to be sad too. Isn't the vacation that same week you have that Science Center trip?"
Mysti's beautiful blue eyes, identical to her sister's, now also filled with tears.
"I forgot that." she managed, swallowing the lump in her throat. "You're right, this is so unfair! Who cares about the Caribbean anyhow?"
"Yeah." Krysty agreed, picking up a pillow and throwing it across the room for emphasis, not really caring that she shattered a twelve thousand dollar Tiffany lamp which was, of course, appropriate decor for an affluent teenager's bedroom. "The Caribbean needs to get blown up. We go there every year. Except for that year we went to Paris."
"And that other time we did the tour of Australia. And the California trip."
"Yeah, I guess." Krysty shrugged. "Stupid Caribbean."
"Hey, is that new body glitter?" Mysti asked, not really caring that they had been in the middle of a conversation.
"What body glitter?" Krysty asked.
"On your chest." Mysti pointed to her sister's collarbone. Krysty looked down.
"I don't know what that is." she said.
"It's spreading!" Mysti squealed.
"It's on you too!" Krysty told her.
"What is it?"
"I don't know!"
"What if..." Mysti began, then let the sentence go unfinished as everything went black.
"Ew. What's that smell?" said Krysty, obviously not caring that she couldn't see anything.
"Light!" Mysti said, feeling around. "I see light!"
From across the room, Jack Sparrow watched as the two amazingly gorgeous women floundered about the room before seemingly regaining sight in their stunning blue eyes. His notice was drawn particularly to Mysti, who he could tell apart from her sister both through his amazingly acute sense of the personal aura, and through the fact that she had her nose pierced. Not a large, unseemly piercing, just a cute little piercing that actually looked very nice on her, in a pirate-like sort of way that, of course, immediately won the heart of Captain Sparrow. He stood up, placed his hat on his head, and crossed the room.
"Good evening fair lady." he said, in spite of the fact that such manners were completely uncharacteristic, and were merely brought on by the presence of such astounding beauty that even Jack Sparrow had to immediately be on his best behaviour, lest he bring upon himself that weapon of male destruction, an attractive pout-like frown from Mystery Cooper. He went on. "May I buy you a drink?"
Krysty did not really pay any heed to the fact that she was being ignored. She was, instead, approached by a young man who obviously had no one else to talk to besides the strangely dressed girl who just appeared out of nowhere.
"Excuse me." said the young man, whose name was Will Turner, of course. "Have you seen my fiance?"
"Um, no?" Krysty replied, charmingly. "But I'll help you find her." She had every intention of doing so, too, because it would have been dishonorable to make such a pretense with anything else in mind. "What does she look like?"
Will's eyes got a bit glassy.
"She is the fairest woman on the face of the earth." he said.
"Uh, yeah, see, that's not really working for me." Krysty told him. "That's the part me and my sister play. Since we're identical, you know."
"Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I didn't know." Will apologized. "In that case, she is the...third fairest woman on the face of the earth."
"Better." said Krysty. "What color eyes, hair, clothing?"
"I don't know what she's wearing." Will admitted. "But I'm certain she's here."
Elizabeth was, as a matter of fact, standing directly behind Jack Sparrow and Mysti, watching disapprovingly as Jack attempted unsuccessfully to woo the newcomer with his normally irresistable pirate charm.
"Jack." Elizabeth said. "There's Will. Can we leave?"
"Certainly." Jack agreed amiably, because being in physical contact with Mysti was enough to put anyone of the male gender or appropriate sexual orientation in a mood somewhat similar to that of drug-induced euphoria. "Let us depart. Will you join us, Lady..."
"Mystery." Mysti said sweetly. "Mystery Cooper."
"Lady Cooper." Jack finished.
"No, just Mysti is fine." she assured him.
"Mysti..." Jack repeated, sighing. "Will you come with us?"
"Yeah, but I have to find my sister."
"No time!" Elizabeth said. "Will's got her!"
"I have to save her!" Mysti insisted.
"No! I have to get you to safety." Jack insisted, and, paying no heed to her protestations, hoisted her over one shoulder and exited the building.