The Death Angel Pirates
Me: Hiya Cousins Sally, David, and Stevie! You guys ready for da mission!
Cousin Sally: We just have one minor setback Fire. (yawn)
Me: Uh-Oh…What's the problem Cousin Sally?
David: 4Kids heard your plan and the five pound chocolate bars that we ate were filled with (yawn) sleeping potion.
Me: NO! You guys can't do this to me! TT
Stevie: We're (yawn) sorry Fire, but we gotta take a nap now. (They all fall asleep)
Me (raises head to the heavens): BEEP you Kahn! BEEP you to and your bad editors to BEEP and beyond! We will defeat you Alfred R. Kahn and your idiotic organization! NONE OF YOU WILL TAKEOVER THE WORLD AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE!!!
Luffy: But if you die, then the whole world will be taken over by 4Kids. Thus, all of this will be your fault Fire Thief.
Me: Gee, thanks for the help Luffy. Why don't you go eat some meat or something.
Luffy: I think eating meat is cruel to animals now. I became a vegetarian when I was edited. I prefer tofu instead of meat.
Everyone: o.O
Sanji: He turned down an offer for meat?!
Zoro: Now it really is the end of the world!
Ussop: TO ZE BUNKERS EVERYONE! (Jumps in a bunker from chapter 3)
Nami: I'M SCARED! (Jumps into bunker)
Sanji: HELP ME! (Jumps into bunker)
Zoro: WAIT FOR ME GUYS!!! (Jumps into bunker)
Me: THAT'S IT! (Takes out a gun and runs away)
Bob: HONEY! (Runs after me) DON'T KILL YOURSELF!
Me (Off screen): I AIN'T GONNA SHOOT MYSELF BOB! IF YA WANT SOMETHIN' DONE THEN YA HAFTA DO IT YOURSELF! IN DIS CASE, I'M TAKIN' DOWN 4KIDS THE GOOD OL' FASHION WAY!!!
Bob (sighs and anime sweatdrop): Well, since my girlfriend isn't here ta do the disclaimer, I'll do it again. (Ahem) My girlfriend, Fire Thief, doesn't own One Piece. All she owns is the story, characters, the clothes on her back, and her last shred of dignity. No wait, she sold that to a hobo yesterday…
Near-death with wind
"Hana, set ze sails up! Amber make sure we're goin' in the right direction! Ajax, get at ze wheel! Hinata, help Hana with ze sails! Keith, get ze ship off of ze dock!" Eagle instructed to his crewmates as they prepared to set sail. He was in one of his hyper moods at the moment. Even though they only knew him for a day, they could tell when he was in a non-sugary-hyper mood when he used the word 'ze' instead of 'the' and that he got out a whip to make sure that everyone was doing what he said.
Hana used her claws to frantically climb up the mast and set the sails down while Hinata used the rope ladder to get up. Ajax was trying his best to hold the wheel still while Keith hurried getting the ropes connecting the boat to the dock off. Amber was running around like a headless chicken with her maps. After all was done they stopped to rest, only to see a sunbathing Eagle in the middle of the deck. They all stopped there jobs and gave him their best death glares. Eagle opened one eye and asked calmly,
"What'cha staring at guys?" An angry Keith shouted,
"If your gonna be our Captain, the least ya can do is help us!" Hana hit her lazy Captain upside the head.
"OW! Okay, fine, I'll help!" He said as he got up and pointed his hands towards the sails. The air swirled around it before they shot towards the limp sails as Eagle shouted,
"Fujin no mai (Dance of the Wind)!" Everyone had to hold on to something or else they would be thrown off the ship due to how fast they were going. And for Hana, that was a big no-no if she fell in the water. As for Eagle, he just stood there unfazed by the wind as he kept moving the air into the sails.
"OHMYFREAKINGGODWE'REALLGONNADIE!" Hana shouted as she dug her claws into the railing that was her lifeline to the ship and the ocean.
"WE'REGONNADIE!WE'REGONNADIE!WE'REGONNADIE!" Hinata shouted frantically as she held on to dear life around Ajax's waist. Meanwhile, Ajax was using the 'Grip of Death' on a mast as he saw a dark tunnel with a pretty and shiny bright light at the end of the tunnel. If one were to ask him what he saw, he would say he saw his dead Grandpa waving to him at the end of the tunnel.
"DON'TLETGOKEITH!DON'TYOUDARELETGO!" Amber shouted as she held on to one of Keith's leg as the swordsman tied himself to another mast.
"OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME. THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE…" Keith said/shouted as he started to pray. It was at that time that Eagle thought that his crew had suffered enough and he made the boat go to a sudden stop. Everyone who held on to a mast wound up being thrown into the mast due to the sudden stop, while Hana just went flying until she hit the steering wheel. Keith stood on wobbly legs as he said in a serious voice to Eagle,
"NEVER do that again without warning us." Hana, who untangled herself from the steering wheel, walked up to Eagle and slapped him upside the head. Everyone followed her example and soon, everyone had slapped Eagle.
"Ok, ok! I get it! No more speeding the ship up unless you guys have a chance ta tie yourself ta a mast!" he said as he rubbed the multiple bumps forming on his head.
"Just be glad that we didn't toss you overboard Captain." Hinata said as she picked up some fallen objects on the deck and Ajax started to do the same.
"I said I get it! So Amber, how much farther ta land?" Eagle asked. Amber glared at him and said,
"Well, thanks to you Captain, I have no idea where we are and I think some of my maps blew off the boat. But if my calculations are correct, along with one of the only maps that I was able ta hang on to; the next island is a day's worth of normal sailing. Sorry Captain, but none of us are ready ta go for a ride like that any time soon." Eagle sighed. It was at that time that Ajax's stomach growled.
"He…hey Hana, I'm gettin' hungry. Can ya make us some dinner?" he asked with a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.
"Sure." And with that, Hana headed into the kitchen.
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DINNER! NOW EAT I SAY, EAT!
…I need lottsa help…
Everyone walked into the kitchen which was producing awesome smells to everyone on the crew. Eight times Hana had to chase Eagle out of the kitchen, three times for Keith, and five times for Ajax. Finally when the food was done, Hana slowly opened the door, only to be trampled by every starving member of the crew. When they sat down, they saw what was for dinner: Stir-fry tofu, seaweed salad, and soup with clams. Ajax poked at the tofu with his fork and asked,
"What the hell is this? Where's the fish? The steaks? The MEAT?!" Hana glared at him and said,
"My family really respects animals, so none of us eat anything that used ta have a face. And as long as I'm the cook, you guys eat whatever I cook for ya." She sat down next to Amber, who was already eating, and she piled some tofu on her plate. The guys just looked at the food in disgust as the girls ate.
"Eagle, were the meals that she cooked in that competition…this hippie-like?" Ajax asked as he stared at the food.
"I thought that it was real meat." He replied as he thought he saw the tofu wiggle on it's own.
"Actually, that was tofu Captain. You just thought that it tasted like real meat." Hana said as she put some soup in a bowl. Eagle turned green.
"Well, I hafta say Hana that was good!" Hinata said as he finished her plate. Amber agreed as the guys looked at their still-empty plates.
"I want real food. Real man-food." Ajax complained.
"Hey, I'm the cook here, and that means you eat what I serve. If you crybabies want meat, go fishin' and cook it yourselves!" Hana said as she started to wash some dishes. The males sighed and started to serve themselves the tofu.
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DINNER'S OVER! NOW GO TO DA FRONT OF DA BOAT (BOW) WHILE DOING DA HOKEY-POKEY!!
…yep I really need ta get my head checked…
Amber was sitting on the demon head at the front of the boat. She really wasn't doing anything; she was just looking at the water and the sun. She just about fell off when she heard someone ask,
"What'cha doin'?" It was Hana, who was standing on the deck as she looked down at Amber.
"I'm just thinkin' cat. You know that we're gonna be able ta save your parents." She responded. Hana put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a worn-out piece of paper. It was a letter that said,
Hana-
I found your father. He's ok for now, but we've been taken prisoner at the Navy Headquarters in the Grand Line. We were captured by the people of Whiskey Peak Island. Don't let their kind appearances fool you sweetheart. Even though seem like they're nice people, they're really all bounty hunters. They lure pirates in when they get to the Grand Line and hold a feast for them. They get them drunk and they attack them and turn them over to the Navy. I love you Hana and your father does to.
- Your loving Mother with lots of love, Hinotama (and your Father, Ryouga)
As Hana re-read it for what seemed like the thousandth time, she sighed and put it back in her pocket.
"Hey, don't worry cat. I'd promised that I'd help you save them, and we will save them." Amber said as she jumped on to the deck to comfort her friend.
"Yea I know." Hana replied.
"Hey Hana, I was just wondering, should we tell the crew about this? I mean, they could help." Hana got a look of fear on her face and said,
"No. It's bad enough that you're caught up in this too Amber. I don't want these guys ta suffer 'cause of me." Amber put her hand on Hana's shoulder.
"Okay, when we get to the place with the Navy HQ, we'll split and get your 'rents back cat." Hana smiled.
"All hands on deck guys! We got some bad company!" They heard Eagle shout. They looked to the stern (back) of the boat to see that a Navy ship was sailing towards them.
"Looks like the Navy officer from yesterday found out that we really were pirates." Amber said as she ran with Hana to get their weapons. When they came back on deck, Eagle was shouting out orders.
"Amber, get to the steering wheel and get ready ta steer us towards land! Hana, Hinata, get the sails ready! Ajax, Keith, ready the cannon's just in case! And tie yourselves ta somethin' solid guys!" Without hesitation, the crew ran so fast to do their jobs that skid marks were seen on the deck.
"DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING FUNNY YA GOOD-FOR-NOTHING PIRATES!" a voice said over a megaphone. Eagle smirked as he raised his hands to the sails.
"Too late ya old geezer!" he shouted. His hands became covered with swirling air. The air went towards the sails as Eagle shouted for the second time that day,
"Fujin no mai (Dance of the Wind)!"
"NOT AGAIN!" Hana shouted as she dug her claws into the wood.
"I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!" Ajax shouted as he hung on to dear life to a rather large cannon.
"I'MGONNADIE!I'MGONNADIE!I'MGONNADIE!" Amber shouted as she did her best to steer the ship.
"GOD HELP US ALL FROM OUR CAPTAIN!" Hinata said as she held on the rope that was tied to the top of the mast with dear life. While all of this was happening, Eagle just had a look of pure insanity on his face.
Yes, the Death Angel pirate crew would be lucky to be alive if they survived this.
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Later
"Eagle, did you HAFTA do that move again?! We nearly died! We probably had a better chance fighting the Navy!"