The Death Angel Pirates
Me: I bring good news to all! 4KIDS WON'T DUB ONE PIECE ANYMORE! W00T! ZIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION! (Brings out her private and secret stash of sugar cubes, candy, soda for the minors, sake, wine, rum, and mohitos) Oh, and I have a special guest with me today! Please welcome my good friend and fellow author of a One Piece fic…KILNORC!
Kilnorc (pops out of a cleverly placed tank with army clothes on and army face paint): Does that mean that we can't make 4Kids headquarters go 'BOOM' with my special ammo?
Me: Well…We still need to be unedited…sure, why not!? Have fun!
Kilnorc: YES! (Jumps into tank. Scene change to inside the tank as Kilnorc sets in the coordinates) Yes! Evil shall be vanquished!
Me: W00T! GO KILNORC! Oh…and for those reading this: TO ZE BOMB SHELTER!
Kilnorc: Firing in 3…2…1…BLAST OFF! (Fires the missile with a look of pure insanity on his face) he-he…TIME FOR COMPLETE AND UTTER ANNIHILATION OF 4KIDS!
(Scene Change to the 4Kids HQ)
Random worker in the radar room: Uh…Mr. Dark-Overlord-Kahn-Sir? We got a missile comin' at us.
Kahn: Don't worry. Our shield can block any known weapon aimed at us.
Same worker: But Mr. Dark-Overlord-Kahn-Sir, this missile is an unknown weapon…
Kahn: …I knew you all well. (Presses a button and falls into an escape pod) SO LONG SUCKERS! (Insert evil laugh)
(Scene Change to a safe distance to see the fireworks)
4Kids HQ: BOOM!
Kahn: I'll get you all next time! Anime will soon be dubbed horribly! None of you have seen the last of me! (Evil laugh)
(Scene change back to us)
Me: You did it Kilnorc! I'M UNEDITED! CELEBRATION! (Hands him a bottle of sake)
Kilnorc: YOU"RE ALL FREE AT LAST!
Zoro: BOOZE! (Chugs at the sake like there's no tomorrow)
Sanji: PORN! (Gets out Icha-Icha Paradise from Naruto)
Luffy: I'M AN IDIOT AGAIN! AND I LIKE MEAT! (Stuffs his face with meat)
Nami and Ussop: OUR VOICES ARE BACK TO NORMAL!
Yami Nailah: I'M HOMICIDAL AGAIN! (Looks at the hippie clothes that she's wearing) AH! HIPPIE CLOTHES! GETEMOFFOFME! (Rips them off and sets them on fire) LET IT BURN! BURN BABY BURN! YA-HA!
Me: We're all back to normal now!
Kilnorc: YATTA!
Me: That's my saying! (Hits him upside the head)
Kilnorc: Is that anyway ta thank the person who helped get you all unedited?
Me: NO TALK KILNORC, PAR-TAY!
An Argument with Monkey D. Luffy
It was now morning, which meant that it was long since Eagle used his powers Devil Fruit powers to get his crew away from the Navy. But in the process of trying to save his crew, he nearly killed them instead.
"Okay Eagle, I've got some good news and bad news. What do ya wanna hear first?" Amber asked.
"Good news first." Eagle asked the navigator.
"Well, the good news is that we've arrived and docked at the island!"
"…I can see that very clearly Amber. Now what's the bad news?" He asked as an anger vein appeared on his forehead.
"Well...Hana'ssaysthatit'sgonnabetofuforbreakfast,soAjaxandKeitharethreateningtotossheroverboardunlessshedoessomehuntingformeatnow.Andtheislandthatwe'reatisuninhabitedbyhumans." she said in one breath. Eagle looked at her and said,
"Say that, but only a lot slower woman!" Amber winced and repeated slower,
"Hana's says that it's gonna be tofu for breakfast, so Ajax and Keith are threatening to toss her overboard unless she does some hunting for meat now. And the island that we're at is uninhabited by humans." Eagle's left eye started to twitch.
"Captain?" Amber asked in a scared voice.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! TOFU FOR BREAKFAST?! AJAX! KEITH! GET DA CHAINS OUT! WE'RE GOIN' HUNTING FOR A VEGE-COOK!" Eagle shouted as his face turned into a new type of red as he stomped off to find the cook.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
(Five minutes, a heck of a lot of scratches on the males, attack names being shouted, clothes ripped, and every curse word in recorded history later…)
"Listen up cat. We ain't gonna eat any of your stinkin' tofu. We're gonna eat meat, and YOU'RE gonna cook it whether you want to or not, or else." Ajax said in a very evil voice.
"Or else what?" Hana said with a glare as she tried to get out of . If looks could kill, the guys would be shredded, burned, and flushed by now.
"Or else Eagle here will use his wind powers ta carry you a mile off ta sea and drop ya inta da ocean. And last we checked, if dat happens, you'll be a human anchor." Keith said with an evil smile on his face. Hana's eye became wide.
"You wouldn't dare." She said as her pupils became slits and her ears flattened against her head. Eagle's fists started to gather wind as he said in a dark voice,
"Oh, I dare."
"You guys are nothin' but a bunch of bastards." Hana said.
"That means we're doin' our job cat. Now get us some meat!" Ajax ordered.
"Hey! I'm the Captain here! I give out the orders! Get us some meat NOW!" Eagle demanded as Keith released Hana from the tight chains.
"Fine, I'll do it. Sheesh. But we're still runnin' low on fresh veggies. My guess is that the ones we got now will hafta be tossed inta the ocean in two days. And I just can't cook meat without vegetables…" Hana said as she stood up and stretched.
"…Fine, I'll go. But you better get a lot of meat cat or else your gonna be swimming with the fishies." Eagle said. Hana just grinned.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
With Hana in the forest
Hana was running through the forest looking for anything bigger than a mouse.
"Oh c'mon! A place this big has ta have something bigger!" She complained. It was then that she heard deep breathing behind her. She slowly turned around to see a boar that was just about the size of her that was standing fifteen feet away.
"Wow…you're a big boy aren't cha?" She asked it, even though she knew it wouldn't answer. It stomped its foot on the ground, ready to charge. Hana sighed as she got into a fighting stance and said,
"Ryoku Katachi (Power Form)!" As she became more cat than human, she also grew taller and her voice became deeper and more raspy. When she was done transforming, the boar started to charge. She just smiled and said
"Hear I come!" with that, she charged at the boar with her claws flailing around as she shouted,
"Oujou tsume (Death Claws)!" cuts appeared on random parts of the boar, who roared/squealed in pain. Before she could finish the boar, a man came out of nowhere and used one of his legs to chop the boars' neck in two.
"That was my prey ya idiot!" Hana shouted. The man turned around and she got a better look at him. He wore a black suit and had blonde hair that covered his left eye. He was smoking a cigarette and his visible eyebrow curled at the end.
"Wow, I doubt that there's anyone else in the universe with stranger eyebrows" Hana thought.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Meanwhile in Konohagakure, a jonin with unusually think eyebrows (which kind of looked like catipillars) sneezed.
"Someone must be talking about me. THEY MUST BE THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO EMBRACE THEIR YOUTH LIKE LEE AND I!!" He thought as he and his favorite look-alike student did another five hundred push-ups.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Well excuse me for savin' ya life sir." The man replied.
"Sir?! Well, I guess it's hard ta tell the difference between a guy and a girl in this form. I wonder how long I can keep him thinking that I'm a guy." Hana thought.
"Just hand over the meat, and you'll live." She said. The man's only visible eye narrowed.
"Sorry, but I gotta get this to my crew. Our Captain loves meat, but this thing would only last until breakfast." He said as he picked up the dead boar. Hana's eyes narrowed.
"I take it that you don't want to live then" she said as she flexed her claws. The man turned around.
"You wanna fight?"
"Let's fight." She said as her claws glistened in the light.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Meanwhile with Eagle
"Why do I hafta get the vegetables?! I don't even like 'em!" Eagle complained to himself as he pulled another wild carrot out of the ground and added it to the pile of random veggies in his hand. It was then that a teenaged boy with black hair and a straw hat on his head ran into him at full-spead, causing both off them to the ground.
"OW!" They said at the same time. Eagle jumped up and got his boomerang out.
"Who are you?" he asked. The teen just smiled and said rather loudly,
"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'm gonna be king of the pirates!" Eagle just smirked and said,
"My name's Eagle. And that dream of yours is impossible." Luffy's face still had a smile on it as he protested to Eagle,
"Of course it's possible!"
"No it's not. 'Cause I'M gonna be the king of the pirates! After all, I have the perfect crew!" Eagle said.
"No crew's better than mine!" Luffy said as he started to get angry.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"My crew is not the best and that's final!" Luffy said. Eagle was mentally congraduating himself that he managed to trick Luffy. A minute later, Luffy realized that he had been tricked.
"Hey! That's not fair!" Eagle just smiled as he started to pick up the fallen vegetables.
"You said it yourself Luffy, your crew isn't the best, which means that my crew is!" he said with a smile. He could now see steam coming out of Luffy's ears.
"That's it!" Luffy shouted. "We'll see who's crew is better! My crew fights your crew in an hour right here! Be there!" with that, the captain stomped away.
"Jeez, he's got a temper. I better get these ta Hana before she blows her lid." He said to o one in partictular.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
To the ship not much later
"Are they back yet?"
"No Amber." There was a pause that lasted five seconds.
"How 'bout now Keith?" Keith's eye started to twitch.
"No Amber." He replied.
"Now?"
"No."
"No…" But the poor girl didn't have a chance to finished before Keith yelled out,
"For God's sake Amber! They weren't back when you asked a second ago and they aren't gonna be back when you ask in two seconds!" By now Amber was in a corner trembling in fear.
"Hey guys! Hana's back and she's got MEAT!" Ajax yelled as Hana came out of the forest, still in her power form with a huge boar swung over her shoulder.
"You guys have no idea what I had ta do ta get this thing." She said as she threw the carcass onto the ship. It landed with a loud 'THUMP' and she revereted back to her normal hybrid form. Keith and Ajax were now bowing over and over in front of the dead animal.
"Something tells me that I shouldn't ask, right?" Hinata asked Hana with one of her eyebrows raised.
"Maybe you shouldn't. Why's Amber shaking in the corner?"
"She was bugging Keith like heck. So he yelled at her and scared the shit outta her."
"All rightie guys! We're gonna fight another pirate crew!" Everyone stopped what they were doing when they saw Eagle materialize in front of them with some carrots and peppers in his hands.
"Waddaya mean we're fightin' another pirate crew Eagle?!" Ajax asked as he and Keith stood up from bowing.
"I kinda got inta an argument with another pirate captain about whose crew is better. So now we're gonna fight them!" The captain said as he handed the vegetables to Hana.
"Count me out Eagle. I almost had ta kill a guy for the meat!" Hana said as she pointed to the meat. Ajax and Keith had begun to bow in front of it again and Eagle soon joined in.
"All those who still wonder why he's our captain, raise your hand." Hinata said. All of the girls raised their hands.
"Good. I thought I was the only one."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Author Notes
HA! Next chapter will be the fight! I need ta know whos should fight first! The pair of fighters are:
Eagle vs. Luffy (duh)
Keith vs. Zoro
Amber vs. Nami
Ajax vs. Ussop
Hana vs. Sanji?!
Me (Still sober! How? I GOT IRISH BLOOD RUNNIN' THRU ME VIENS!): I hope you guys liked it! Ja ne!
Kilnorc (Still somehow sober): That's my saying!
Me: Well, you took 'YATTA!' from me, so we're good! Now for those who read this story...REVIEW!