The Death Angel Pirates
Me: I'm bored…nothing interesting has happened since we were unedited. All of us woke up from the party with hangovers. Kilnorc somehow woke up in a wet clown suit in a bathtub five miles away. I woke up in jail. Apparently I robbed a bank with pantyhose. When they arrested me, I apparently asked them how they knew it was me and they told me, 'The pantyhose were on your legs Fire Thief, not your head!' Luckily I know people who know people who know people in high places, like the mafia, so I got out within an hour. The guy in charge of the jail was crying like a baby when I left... (Makes a popping noise with her mouth) Yep, I'm still bored.
Luffy: Why don't you go out with Bob?
Me: I would, but he had ta go home. Turns out that we live on opposite sides of the country. It actually works out because my mom's relatives live in the next town over from him. But I still miss him… (Sniffs)
Zoro: Luffy! You should know by now NOT ta mention her boyfriend's name when he's not here or else…
Me (anime fountain tears): W-W-W-W-A-A-A-A-A-A-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!! I MISS MY BOB! W-W-W-W-A-A-A-A-A-A-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!!
Sanji: Well, it's time ta head for higher grounds. When she cries, it's like Noah's Ark all over again.
Ussop: I got the ark from last time!
Nami: All of the animals are inside.
Zoro: Set sail before she drowns us with her tears!
(All enter a big ark. Ussop releases a flag that says, 'Fire Thief doesn't own One Piece damnit! So stop rubbing it in her face! All she owns are the characters and the story damnit!' as it flaps in the wind.)
Oh, by the way people, I can NOT do sword fighting scenes, so I had ta watch a heck of a lot of Japanese unedited One Piece episodes, observe how Zoro fights, re-read all of my Shounen Jump magazines where there's a sword fight with Zoro, and watch all of the One Piece movies on You Even after all of that, I still suck TT Not to mention I had exams last week and this week. In order I had: Composition, Literature, Math, Science, E.L.P.S (Civics), and Spanish. Fire Thief's brains go BOOM in middle of math exam. (Points to a jar Fire Thief's Brain that's in tiny pieces)
My science teacher even gave us out law forms that said, 'If I, (Insert name here) die during this abnormally hard test, I will not hold (Insert teacher's name here) responsible for my death.' As I filled out the form, I realized just how insane my school really is…I also wondered 'What the hell am I doing here in the first place?!' And then I remembered…
Bounty Hunter vs. Avenging Pirate!
"Captain, didn't you say that said ta meet him here in an hour?" An impatient Ajax asked his captain who was entertaining himself by making mini-tornadoes in his hands.
"Yep, that's what Luffy said. Geez, I'd hate ta have that name? I mean, who names their kid 'Monkey D. Luffy anyways?" He replied. He looked up to the human-cat hybrid in a tree and shouted up to her, "Any sign of them Hana?" The cat girl sighed and replied with,
"I might know if I knew what they looked like! But as for 'D' part of Luffy's name, well, they say that there's another pirate becoming famous in the Grand Line. His name is Portgas D. Ace. He's the only pirate to escape that Smoker Navy guy. And the Pirate King's name was Gol D. Rodger…Hang on! I see five people heading this way! Uh-Oh… OH SHIT!" With that, she frantically climbed down the tree.
"What's wrong cat?" Amber asked as she strapped her Kwan-Do around her shoulder.
"Well…remember when I said that I nearly killed a guy ta get the meat?"
"Yep. Man that was some good meat…" Keith said as he recalled the breakfast.
"Yeah, well one of the guys comin' is the guy who I fought!"
"Didn't he just see you in your power form?" Hinata asked.
"Yeah, but…he kinda thought I was a guy, so I played along with it." She answered with a sweatdrop forming at the back of her head.
"Did you give him a fake name?" Ajax asked. She shook her head 'no'.
"I didn't, but maybe I should change into my power form, what do you think Captain?" Eagle thought for a minute.
"Sure, why not?" With that, Hana smiled and ran behind a tree. A soft, "Ryoku Katachi' was heard and when Hana returned, she was in her power form.
"Just call me… Hioshi Tsume guys." 'Hioshi' said. They then heard a bush rustle when Ajax said and he put his guns in his hands,
"Hey guys, they're here." Luffy and with four other people stepped out from the bush. Luffy had an idiotic smile on his face. The guy to his right had curly black hair and an abnormally long nose. The man to the right of him had greed colored hair and three swords hanging from his waist. To Luffy's left was an orange-haired girl and to her left was the man who fought Hana, only now he had a few new injuries all over him. The second he saw Hinata and Amber, his visible eye turned into a heart and he raced towards Hinata first, saying,
"Oh you must be an angel who is cursed to live with us mere mortals. I am Sanji and you are?" before Hinata could respond, Ajax pointed his guns at Sanji's head and said with an evil glare in his eye,
"Her name's Hinata, and she's with me, so hands off before I blow ya brains out!" Sanji looked scared, but that look went away when he saw Amber. He just about floated towards her and said,
"And who is this bea-" The poor guy never had a chance to finish before Amber quickly took her Kwan-Do and pointed it at him and said,
"Get any closer to me and you won't live ta see tomorrow kyokudo hentai (1)." Sanji had enough and ran back to his crew. It was at this time that the man saw 'Hioshi' and he screamed.
"YOU!" 'Hioshi' smirked and said in 'his' deep rusty voice,
"So this is the crew that you spoke of. Humph. With no doubt my crew will destroy you and your crew without much trouble." The blonde started to shake more than a leaf and hid behind the orange haired girl. The green-haired guy was laughing his head off while the long-nose guys hid behind Luffy who was also laughing. The girl sighed and said,
"Sorry about Sanji guys. I'm Nami. The scardey-cat behind Luffy is Ussop; don't believe any thing he says. Sword-boy over there is Zoro. We're the Straw-Hat Pirates" Eagle smirked and said to Luffy,
"So you managed ta get the Pirate Hunter Zoro on your crew. I have ta say, I'm impressed. Now I'll introduce you guys to my crew. I am the Captain, Eagle. You guys know Hinata, and the guy who almost shot Sanji is Ajax. Our sword-boy is Keith and the one with the Kwan-Do who's now out ta kill Sanji is Amber. And last, but not least, is the half-human, half-cat Han-Hioshi. We're the Death Angel Pirates." It didn't go unnoticed to the Straw-Hat crew that Eagle stumbled on 'Hioshi's' name. Well, Luffy and Ussop didn't notice because they're idiots. In fact, Ussop then shouted with no consideration of 'Hioshi's' feelings,
"Holy cow! He's huge!" The human-cat hybrid's left eye began to twitch.
"Okay then, how about this? We'll pull positions outta a hat and thy fight." Eagle said as he pulled a hat, pen, and paper out of nowhere and wrote five positions on it. He put the positions in the hat and gave the hat to Luffy.
"But I already have a hat!" he said. Everyone did another sweatdrop.
"Idiot! He wants you to pick a piece of paper from the hat!" Zoro said.
"OH!" Luffy put his hand in the hat and pulled out a slip of paper. Five minutes went without a word. Finally Ussop asked his idiotic captain,
"Aren't you gonna read it Luffy?" Luffy just smiled and said,
"I can't read!" Cue the anime fall people. When everyone stood back up, Nami snatched the paper from his hands and read,
"First Mates." Zoro put the bandana that was tied to his arm and tied it around his head. Keith unsheathed his swords and Zoro did the same, and put his third sword in his mouth.
"So that's where he puts it!" Ajax said. Amber slapped him upside the head.
"OW!" While all of that was happening, Eagle raised his right hand in between the fighters and said,
"Ok guys, anything goes except murder, chopping off any limbs, and verbal abuse because this is a fight with swords and fists for crying out loud! Now that that's said and done, begin!" and with that, the sword fighting began. Zoro made the first move by swinging his swords in an 'X' formation as he shouted,
"Oni Giri (Demon Slash)!" A shockwave was formed and hit Keith, causing three long wounds to appear on his body. Keith winced and held back a shout. He then pointed a sword at Zoro as another one pointed to the sky. He then shouted,
"Amaterasu Tsuki (Shining Heaven Moon)!" Without warning, he vanished. Zoro looked around before cuts formed on his body. He just winced and said,
"I'll just have ta lure you out then…" He then started spinning around as he shouted,
"Tatsumaki (Dragon Twister)!" The spinning soon became a fierce dragon-shaped tornado that started to suck everything in it. Luckily, everyone was able to find something to hang on to. Keith wasn't so lucky and was pulled into the tornado.
"S-S-S-S-S-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-E-E-E-E-E-O-O-O-O-O-O-N-N-N-N-N-E-E-E-E-E-E H-H-H-H-H-H-H-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P M-M-M-M-M-M-M-E-E-E-E-E-E!" (Translation: Someone help me!) Was heard from inside the twister. When the twister stopped, Keith fell into a tree, and then fell to the ground. He was covered in so many cuts that were caked with dirt and leave that it was hard to see his skin. His breathing became harder as he put his swords above his head as he ran towards Zoro as they began close combat sword fighting. Keith swung one sword only to find it blocked again and again. Zoro swung his swords faster than the eye could follow.
"Give up kid. You can't beat me." Zoro said as he took a jab at Keith's abdomen. It hit and the tip of the sword came out of Keith's back. The newly made pirate coughed up some blood and the blood rolled down his face as he answered with,
"I…will never…give up… Not until…I kill that man… And don't…call me…kid…I'm nineteen…years old." He took a quick strike at Zoro's chest, but he moved in time for it to just slice his arm. The cut wasn't that deep, but it was bleeding rather profusely. It sort of surprised Zoro that Keith was the same age as him. (2)
"And who's 'that man'?" Zoro asked as he made a deep cut on Keith's shins. The poor guy almost cried out in pain, but he held it in.
"Ripper…" the cut-up teen whispered before he fell to the ground, knocked unconscious due to blood loss. Hinata and Nami quickly ran towards him and began to give out orders.
"Ajax, get us some bandages NOW!" Hinata said as she put pressure on the two wounds that were on his shins. Eagle hesitated, which earned him a glared from Hinata that would even make a serial killer wet his pants and cry like there was no tomorrow. The Captain paled and ran back to the boat to find bandages.
"Sanji, get us some water!" Nami ordered the cook. His only visible eye turned into a heart as he said in a loving voice,
"Anything for your Nami-swan!" he said as he just about floated away to get some water.
"Geez Zoro, he looks like he's an inch away from death!" Ussop said as he got a better look at the unconscious Keith.
"If you want to go into technical terms Ussop, my Captain said that anything goes except murder, chopping off limbs, and verbal abuse." 'Hioshi' said. Ussop nearly crapped in his pants for two reasons: A. 'Hioshi' snuck up behind him before 'he' spoke. B. He was just plain scared of 'him'.
"Gah!"
"Ha-I mean, Hioshi, stop scaring the guy! You're gonna make him wet his pants!" Amber scolded.
"The Great Captain Ussop is afraid of nothing! Let me tell you about the time I defeated the evil snake-man Chioromaru!" Ussop said as he legs shook more than normal.
"Liar."
"NO! He saw through me! OH-NO! I just gave myself away again!" Once again, everyone did an anime sweatdrop for anyone who had any sanity and brains. That being said, Luffy was the only one who did an anime sweatdrop.
"Is he like this all the time?" 'Hioshi' asked Zoro who had put his swords back and tied his bandana back onto his arm.
"You should see him when he's drunk." He replied.
"You poor unfortunate souls…"
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Author notes:
1) I think it means, 'extreme pervert'
2) I looked up on Wikipedia for Zoro's moves and I found out that his age was 19. Hear me out people! I didn't know that when I made Keith 19, it just felt like a good age for him! Gomen! (bows repeatedly)
Me: Well I hope that was a good sword fight! Sorry if it sucks…WHY AM I CURSE TO BE UNABLE TO DO A DECENT SWORD FIGHT!? WHY?!
Yami Nailah: Because you're a sad and pitiful excuse for a reincarnation of me, that's why!
Me: I despise you so much.
Yami Nailah: That means that I'm doing my job!