BIG A/N: This is another chapter I edited for my continuity.
It was mid-afternoon before Abby's apartment had been bagged, tagged, photographed, and processed. The team drove back in silence, Tony driving, Ziva as the passenger, and McGee sitting in the back right behind her. He sat hunched forward, resting his face against a clenched fist, staring vacantly out his window. Occasionally, Tony and Ziva would both glance back to see how McGee was. Each time, his face was the same. Set like stone with shock, worry, and the debilitating, guilt.
The van was soon parked back at headquarters with the equipment and evidence properly distributed and locked away. In the basement, McGee was leaning against the side of the NCIS van with his arms folded across his chest. He watched as Tony leaned forward and allowed the security pad to perform its retinal scan. The elevator doors opened and the three of them bade Jimmy and Ducky goodbye and stepped inside.
When the doors opened up to the squadroom Tony stepped out first saying, "Okay guys, it's been a long day, I know. But, we've still got more to do. Campfire in five minutes."
"I, um..." McGee said softly, wavering ever so slightly. "I'll be back...I gotta...gotta go to the bathroom." With that, McGee made his way quickly to the men's room and disappeared behind the door, Tony and Ziva watching his retreating back.
They stared at each other for a second, then Tony whispered, "Go on and get ready, I'll be there in a second." Ziva nodded then left to move the chairs for the campfire.
Tony walked slowly toward the bathroom door. Something wasn't right. He leaned his ear to the door, trying to hear what was going on behind it. Hearing only muffled sounds, Tony slowly opened the door and stuck his head through the small space. His face dropped sadly and Tony fully entered the bathroom and locked the deadbolt behind him. They needed some privacy.
He turned back and saw McGee kneeling in the last stall, retching into the toilet bowl. Quietly, Tony crossed to his friend's side and squatted down beside him. He helped hold McGee up and patted his back as he continued to vomit. When McGee was finished, he reached a shaky hand and flushed the toilet. He pulled himself up from the floor, with Tony's help, and staggered to the nearest sink. He cupped his hands and began to drink down the cool water, rinsing his mouth, and splashing his face.
"You okay?" Tony asked softly.
McGee spit into the sink and replied breathlessly, "No!"
"How long have you been holding that in?"
Rubbing his face, McGee replied, "Since about 6:15 this morning."
McGee slowly sat down on the floor, his back pressed against the cold wall, breathing slowly. Tony bent down and joined him. McGee stared at the floor, feeling like he would be sick once again.
"I'm sorry," he whispered finally, breaking the silence.
"Don't be," Tony replied almost immediately. "This is hard on all of us, but I know especially for you."
"I just can't get those pictures out of my head. Her room...her blood. Tony, she's hurt, she's alone, and she's scared, and I don't know what to do."
"I know," Tony said, "We're all feeling the same way."
"It's my fault," McGee said sadly.
"What?"
"It's my fault. I should have been there last night."
"What are you talking about? How?"
"She wanted me to come home with her last night," McGee said, ignoring Tony's instictive raised eyebrow. "I told her no because you wanted us to come in early--I'm not blaming you Tony," he added hastily. "And it takes longer to get to here from Abby's than my place. But when we were on the phone last night, she said she wanted to come in with me today...so I offered to pick her up."
"That's why you were there so early today..."
"I don't understand," McGee continued choked, "Why was I willing to drive the extra way to pick her up this morning and not just stay last night?"
"You need to stop torturing yourself," Tony said, turning his body around to face McGee directly. "If anyone's to blame, it's me."
'How the hell is it your fault?"
"When Gibbs left," Tony said, "he didn't just leave in me as head of this team, he left me has head of this family."
McGee raised his head slightly, still avoiding full eye contact. "What?"
Tony scoffed. "He askes 'what'. You know full well how close this team is with each other. Ducky's our grandfather, Gibbs is still our father, Ziva's worked her way up to step-sister status, Jimmy's the black-sheep third cousin--"
"Be nice..."
Tony laughed. "All right, all right, the life-of-the-party cousin. Even you are like the brother I never had."
McGee finally tilted his head to look at Tony. "I thought you had a brother," he said puzzledly.
Smirking and shrugging, Tony replied, "Yeah...I didn't like him."
McGee gave small smile and began to chuckle. Tony started to laugh along, he himself glad to be able to left off some emotional energy after the day's events. Their laughter echoed in the large bathroom for several seconds before subsided into silence once more.
"My point is Tim," Tony continued, making McGee look up from the floor, "We're tighter than blood here, and it's my job to take care of my people. Abby is my baby sister, I love her that much. I'm going do whatever it takes to get her back, because I'll be damned if we lose another one of our team."
McGee sighed sadly again as he remember everyone whom they had lost the past 2 years. Kate, Pacci, Gibbs...and now Abby was close to being added to that list.
"I just can't help think that if I were there, I would've been able to protect her."
"Tim, listen to me," Tony said, reaching out and clasping McGee's shoulder. "This is not your fault. We don't know what these bastards wanted. If you were there, we could just as easily be looking for you too, or putting your body down in Ducky's morgue. This way, you are here to help get her back. That's what I need from you now, Tim. I need you to focus on the job at hand now. This is Boss-Tony talking now," Tony said semi-sternly.
McGee smiled lightly at Tony's self-made title.
"Listen to me, McGee. I know there are going to be moments when I know I'm going to want to run and throw up. I love Abby very much too, and this is very personal to all of us. What will help her the most is that we all put everything else out of our heads and focus on catching those bastards and getting her back." Tony got up from the floor and stood in front of McGee.
"You ready?" He asked, stretching out his hand.
McGee looked up at it, nodded his head resolutely, and reached up and took Tony's outstretched hand. Tony pulled him up, then patted his shoulder reassuringly. They walked toward the bathroom door and Tony unlocked it once they reached it.
"Tony, you wont say anything about this will you?"
Tony grinned broadly and clapped his shoulder again. "No, I wont. Your secret's safe with me, buddy."
Tony opened the door and both men made their way to the squadroom, where Ziva had pulled the chairs around to Tony's desk, and was sitting in her own. She looked up at Tony, her question expressed by raised eyebrows. Tony gave a quick and subtle nod, then sat behind his desk, McGee sitting between the other two agents.
Pulling out his dictaphone and turning it on, Tony addressed the group. "Okay team, what do we know?"
"We have two unknown assailants," Ziva began.
"Who got into Abby's apartment using her spare key on top of her doorway," McGee added.
"So that means we have a partial who and a how, we just need to know why and the rest of the who," Tony said. "Who could possibly have any problems with?"
McGee looked up suddenly. "You don't think this could be her ex Michael again, could it?"
"No, he's still jail. I checked on him first thing," Ziva replied.
"The only thing I can think of is to look back on any cases Abby's helped us on. There's been some heavy stuff," Tony said.
The team was suddenly started by Tony's telephone ringing.
Tony sighed, then picked up the dictaphone, saying, "Campfire paused." He clicked a button, set it down, and hit the speaker button on his phone. "NCIS, Tony DiNozzo."
"Are you missing something, Agent DiNozzo?" a menacing growl asked on the other end.
Tony stood up swiftly and leaned over the phone. "Who the hell are you?"
All six eyes widened and all three of their stomachs plummeted when they heard a familiar voice shrieking with fear in the backgroud.
"Tony! Get me out of here! Please!"