Daniel John Eames looked around at the chaos and smiled. Though only 4 of his 5 were currently present, "Baby Girl" was due any moment along with her partner, an event that was sure to increase both the volume and intensity of the maelstrom. Pool betting had been suspended when Alex made an offhand comment to her sister Colleen, leading the family to suspect someone was already a winner.

Tonight, the family had every intention of finding out for sure.

Daniel was fairly certain he stood a good chance of winning, and knew his youngest daughter would clam up and probably leave early were she to feel unduly pressured. So, he had added to the existing "Goren rules" for today.

They were as follows:

Only Alex was permitted to smartass Goren. A momentary lapse on the part of youngest son Sean last Christmas Eve (he had foolishly made a Sasquatch remark), had led to a groin injury neither Sean nor any of the Eames men was likely to forget.

References to Alex as Baby Girl were to be kept to an absolute minimum. As patriarch, Daniel himself was exempt from this rule, but while Goren knew about the nickname, Alex didn't like for it to be bandied about in his presence. Occasionally eldest son Matthew would forget, and those times were…unpleasant. Rule 2 also applied to Runt of the Litter and Mom's Little Throwback, as naturally it would.

Height and weight disparity jokes were also verboten. (see above RE Sasquatch, Baby Girl). Alex never enjoyed being reminded of her size, and the incident when middle son Daniel Jr. (aka DJ, aka Jan Brady, to his great dismay) had hummed the theme from The Odd Couple upon Alex and Bobby's arrival had led to the immediate institution of this very rule.

Physical abuse towards Alex was strictly "at your own risk" in Goren's presence. This included but was not limited to: hair ruffling, noogies, picking her up and carrying her around, and head slaps. This particular rule had been self-created the evening the family saw Bobby's face when Alex yelped in pain after being pinched by DJ. While Daniel, all of his sons, and his eldest daughter could be accurately referred to as tall, none was a match for Alex' partner, and having seen the look in his eyes that night, none were rushing to take him on. It was widely noted and remarked upon, however, that Alex had managed to calm Goren down with a few soft words and a touch on the hand. Come to think of it, that may have been the night the pool got started.

Alex and by extension Bobby were given first rights at time alone with, dinner seating adjacency to, and bedtime storytelling with Christopher. This rule had been created by Colleen and her husband Peter, and was inviolable.

These rules could, of course, be added to, changed, or amended at any time, without written notice. Hence, Daniel had added the following for today:

Alex and Bobby are not to be harassed, questioned, interrogated, or otherwise bothered in regard to their suspected but not yet confirmed personal relationship. Daniel, and only Daniel, would pry for details at his discretion, and would share information with the family on an as-needed basis. There had been some protest that perhaps Dad would ensure that the information he shared reflected him as the pool's winner, but Daniel had put an end to that nonsense with his patented Eames glare, Version 5: I am your father; I gave you life, and I can and will take it away unless you ZIP IT.

So now it was just a waiting game; waiting for the arrival of Alex, Bobby, and the much-lauded DAM, waiting to investigate, find and interpret evidence, and act accordingly.

Daniel smiled again. This was going to be a fun day.

A/N – Okay, this was just a short set-up chapter to know who the players are once the true craziness of Bobby and Alex at the Eames' begins. Thanks for continuing to read and review! Up next – the arrival of our heroes.