"Woo-hoo. Now that is a thing of beauty," intoned Sean. "Damn."
"Precisely." Alex said evenly, with just a hint of superiority in her tone. "Isn't that right, baby?" she cooed, stroking the hood.
Bobby rolled his eyes. He had accepted the fact that Eames was having a steamy love affair with her car, but he didn't have to like it. Distracted by a random thought that the car was female and that meant…, he almost missed DJ's question.
"You got this for her?"
Bobby nodded his assent.
"Man, Alex, what did you have to do to get this mean machine?" DJ waggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning a collective glare from Alex, Bobby, AND his father; the trifecta of impending doom.
It was Bobby who reacted first. "Listen, Jan, your sister doesn't have to do anything; she deserves the best just for being her, and for putting up with me. And since she's been taking your shit for a lot longer, I suggest you start thinking about what you're going to get her to make it up to her."
Said sister was too busy doubled over in laughter to be of help on either side, but big brother Matthew filled the void.
"Oh, snap, Jan, you got the smackdown from Goren! He never lowers himself to toy with the likes of you. A round of applause, ladies and gentlemen!"
As Eames' family cheered him, Bobby grinned. Maybe I can do this after all.
DJ, having been properly put in his place, sidled up to him cautiously. "I can't believe you did that, man." He attempted to look wounded and innocent, but was less than successful. Bobby glared down at him. "I can't believe you even suggested your sister is anything less than honorable. I guess you won't be doing that again."
Knowing he was defeated, DJ slunk away, muttering, "And don't call me Jan."
Chuckling as he watched this departure, Bobby was again grateful that Alex' new car had given them something of an icebreaker. He felt more comfortable in his skin now, and her proud smile gave him the courage to face the task at hand. As everyone headed into the house, it occurred to him that no one had dared even ask to drive DAM; he supposed the Eames family liked all their body parts right where they were. He had attempted to swipe the keys on one memorable occasion, just to tease her, but it had been…a misstep on his part. He winced at the memory, but smiled when she appeared at his elbow, gently propelling him towards the house.
"Come on, Bobby. Let's face the music. Oh, by the way, I have an idea about how to do this, so just follow my lead, okay?"
Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, "Anywhere, Eames."
As they entered the house, Christopher, who had stayed inside with his mother, ran at Alex at a breakneck pace. Just as he reached her, he jumped up, launching himself into her arms like a towheaded missile. Practiced at this greeting, Alex steadied herself, gracefully catching him with a laughing "oomph" of effort. Christopher wriggled in delight, squealing, "Auntie Alex is here!" and bestowing enthusiastic, if messy, kisses all over her face.
"Christopher Pooh, what are you eating?" Alex asked, licking her lips.
"Yo-bird," he answered seriously.
"Yum," she laughed, winking at Bobby.
Following her eyes, Christopher yelped, and aimed himself from her arms to Bobby's. "Uncle Big Bob!" he exclaimed, causing muffled laughter throughout the room. When he had begun talking, his Auntie Alex had taught him this particular nickname for her partner, to said partner's chagrin, but the great amusement of everyone else who heard it. Hugging Christopher, Bobby furrowed his brow over the toddler's shoulder at a laughing Alex, which served only to make her laugh harder.
Colleen, still holding the yogurt she'd been attempting to feed her son, asked, "Christopher? Are you going to eat the rest of this, sweetie?'
Torn between indulging his hunger or his desire to play with his favorite aunt and "uncle", Christopher pouted. Alex stepped in quickly, saying "I'll feed it to him, Colleen. Come on, kid, into the kitchen with you." Bobby gently placed the 3-year-old on the floor, smiling as he chased after his aunt.
Alex' Dad indicated the chair next to him, and Bobby sat down, happy to be included in this family, bizarre though they could be. The first few times Eames had brought him here, she'd never left his side, knowing that he found the situation unfamiliar and a bit intimidating, but now he was comfortable enough to deal with the madding crowd on his own, which he considered quite the accomplishment. Turning to her father, he asked, "How've you been, John…um, Danny?"
Laughing, her Dad said, "One day I'll break you of that habit, son. John was my cop name, to keep from confusing me with my father. Danny is what my family calls me."
"I know," Bobby said sheepishly, "but you're still referred to as John or Johnny on the force; and I forget to switch. So, how are you?"
Shooting a look at his children and their spouses, who had somehow all managed to move just a bit closer to listen to this conversation, Daniel said, "Oh, I'm fine, son. Retirement is just as exciting as you expect. But I want to hear about you and my daughter." Inwardly, he laughed, noting the sheer panic that marked Goren's face for just a moment. Heh. Take that, Detective. "Has work been busy? A lot of cases?"
Bobby nearly passed out from relief. I may have overestimated my ability to deal with these people. That was definitely intentional. "Yeah, Danny, it's been a busy fall." He lowered his voice. "But she's doing better every day, so I don't care how many hours we have to work as long as that's still true."
Nice deflection, son. Daniel looked up as Alex returned, Christopher on her hip. Kissing his forehead, she put him down, and he ran to the basement to work off his sugar high with his cousins. Deciding that it was now or never, Alex walked over to Bobby's chair, and sat down on his lap. A little taken aback, Bobby soon realized the nature of her plan, and put his arms around her waist to hold her steady. She wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed his cheek.
While they were settling themselves, silence had fallen over the room. Alex took advantage of this rare event to loudly ask, "Okay, which one of you bozos wins the pool?"
"P-pool? What pool?" Sean made an effort to appear shocked at such an accusation from his sister. He shouldn't have bothered. Within a moment, all his siblings and their spouses, along with his father, were loudly debating the results of the 'non-existent' pool. Bobby turned his face into Alex' shoulder, trying to control his laughter. Boy, did she know her family well. He should be embarrassed that his love life was the subject of both debate and illegal gambling, but the woman on his lap was nothing to feel bad about, and he knew it. She quickly tired of the noise, though, and put her pinkies in her mouth to deliver a piercing whistle. As the din quieted a bit, she turned to her father.
"Is it date-dependent?"
"Yes. Not initially, but since he practically lived in your hospital room, we switched over."
"So, what is it worth to the winner for us to give accurate information?"
Daniel pondered this. Perhaps something could be worked out. As head of the family, it was his job, not to mention his pleasure, to handle these situations. Turning to his children, he said, "Okay, we should agree that whoever wins splits the proceeds with Alex and Bobby, yes?" When he was greeted with a reluctant silence, he spoke more loudly. "YES?"
A grumbling assent from the room sealed the deal. Turning to his youngest, he said, "Let's hear it." He rethought that; she was still his daughter. "Just the date, Alexandra, no gory details. Save that for your sister, please."
Grinning at her father's remarks, Alex said. "Okay, Dad, but I was so looking forward to discussing it with you. And it's October 30th, by the way."
From across the room, Colleen and Peter yelled "YES!" They then proceeded to do a little victory dance, involving elements of both a do-si-do and the Cabbage Patch. It was a little sad, actually, but the rest of the family was too busy either cracking up (Alex, Bobby and Daniel) or muttering bitterly about their loss (everyone else) to notice.
Placing her hand out, palm up, Alex asked, "So how much do I get?"
"Not a damn thing," grinned her Dad, "unless the actual winners of the pool agree to share with you."
Colleen and Peter stopped their attempts at the Running Man short at this. "Dad! We had Halloween – we won!" pouted Colleen.
"Ah, no, lassie, someone else had October 30th right on the nose," Daniel said. "Bring me the phone and we'll find out if they're willing to share."
Smugly, he took the phone from DJ and dialed, then smiled when the other party answered. "Jimmy? Have I got something to tell you and Angie…"
Alex and Bobby stared at each other. Oh, shit.
To Be Continued…
A/N – Heh. Take that, Super Detectives. Thanks to my readers and reviewers, and to those of you who mentioned that the show actually named Eames' Dad as John, I hope I fixed it above. Special Disclaimer: Any similarity to my own family, in either personality or name (ahem…Daniel was my father's name, so…) is not at all coincidental. And them I do own, and they know it, so there.