Happy Street – The Scheisengale

By Nidonemo

Chapter Two: My Vacation!

Billy looked into Agent Boon's eyes, his words were stern and firm, but slightly fearful, like a father who had just yanked his son out of the street before he got hit by a car. "Billy that bird is no bird, it's a terrifying abomination!" He pulled Billy towards a nearby house "We need to find shelter immediately, I'll explain." Once inside, Agent Boon shut the door and pushed Billy into a corner as he took a quick glance out the window.

"What the hell is going on, Boon?" Billy demanded, Boon turned and got so close his nose was mere inches away from Billy's..

"Billy, what I'm about to tell you is extremely classified information, what I tell you in this house stays in your head forever, you are not to repeat it to anyone!" Billy nodded nervously, "I'm here on a mission from the government. I was planted here to keep an eye on things, not to rustle up trouble but to just watch and make sure you guys were on the up and up. You small villages are very fragile little economic ecosystems and the guys upstairs wanted me to overlook things here in case things got a little depressing around the place." Boon glanced backward over his shoulder and around the room they were in before looking Billy back in the eyes again.

"Billy, this isn't the first time I've been saddled with this kind of mission. I was sent all the way over to some tiny little village in the backwoods of Germany to do the same thing I'm doing here as a favor from the United States to the Germans. What happened there was nothing short of a complete and utter disaster. Everything was going fine, these villagers had just celebrated a 'Gigantischen Feier', the biggest party you have never seen the likes of before! You think your little fiestas here are big? That's nonsense; it doesn't even hold a candle to what these German villagers were doing! These people were drinking themselves stupid and stuffing themselves so full of food you'd think it would come bursting out of their ears! Money was pouring out of their purses so often you'd think they all had a personal copy of the horn of plenty!" Billy blinked, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "It's true, Billy! By these eyes that look at you this very moment, they saw it all!"

The fox was awestruck, "A village like that exists?!"

Agent Boon's face went dark; "It did..." the tone of his voice had taken a grave sound. "These villagers were having the time of their lives, their economy was at the highest it had ever been, they were celebrating their great wealth and fortune, they had the most amazing food, Billy! Damn it all what I wouldn't give to taste their cooking just one more time!" he slammed his fist down on a nearby table, "That's when it appeared. That fucking bird! That goddamned bird ruined everything in a single day and night, Billy! Everything those villagers worked so hard for, spent so much for, celebrated about, invited their neighbors and distant friends to share with, all of that wiped out by a single bird!" he exclaimed pointing at the window. "They called it the 'Scheisengale'. We don't know where it came from, or why it chose to appear when it did, but know this Billy. It was so disastrous that the German government worked quickly to destroy all traces of the village before the media could see it and make the country a laughingstock. No one knows the name of it, where it was located, or who lived there. Every single one of those villagers vanished without a trace, the damage was so severe."

Billy felt a cold shiver run down his spine, "H-how can a single bird do so much damage?!"

Agent Boon's face went dark. "By shitting over everything in sight."

The house was dead silent, Billy stared at Agent Boon, his face didn't change, he wasn't kidding.

"You don't believe me, and I don't blame you. It sounds like something a crazy author wrote in a bad fantasy drama, doesn't it? Well let me tell you, Billy, when everything is covered in piles, and piles of bird shit, you don't want to live there, you don't want to eat there, you don't want to visit there. It takes a real fucked up mind to actually enjoy that kind of disgusting sight. That bird brings misery and loathing, Billy, and it needs to be destroyed immediately. You don't want to see the horror I saw, and I can't do a damn thing because of my orders and if I defy them then I'll be in a world of hurt." Agent Boon walked over to the window, and rested his arm against it, sighing. "It was torture having to take a backseat to that kind of tragedy, but that's where you come in. You need to destroy that horrifying creature, do it fast, Billy, do it now! I'm not allowed to meddle directly in the affairs of grassroots villages like yours, but damn it I'm not going to leave you without a fighting chance!"

Billy sucked air into his chest, "Thank you, Agent Boon." he then marched towards the door and swung it open, and stormed out into the sunlight.

"Don't underestimate that bird, boy! If you fail, this town's as good as gone!" he called after the fox.

End of Chapter 2